I frowned at the pain. The weird feelings and new room.
Hospital, my mind said and my eyes widened to look around the hospital room I was in. White and clean, sunshine pouring in from the windows on the other side of the room. The wooden doors open and people walking in and out.
I was in a shared room, a thin blue curtain on one side of me.
I was in the bed. Sore. Cold. Alone.
“Miss,” I heard and my head turned to the lady coming passed the curtain, a clipboard resting on her arm and a pen in her opposite hand. “Sarah, right?” She questioned, her big brown eyes back on me as I swallowed but nodded slightly.
My throat was dry. Sore… everything was sore.
“W-What happened?” I asked, surprising myself that my voice wasn’t soft or broken. I looked down at myself again. Bandages wrapped around my arms, plaster over my left hand and a CAM boot on my left foot too.
“You were in an accident-.”
I didn’t need to hear anymore before the flashes came and I stared out. I remembered Liam staring out, not focusing. I remember how I yelled about the red light and then suddenly we were in the intersection. Then things went dark.
“Liam. Is Liam okay? The boy I was with,” I ordered, looking back at her as she stopped her sentence and looked at me for a while. “Is he okay?!”
“Yes. Liam is okay but he was on the side the truck hit. He got worse injuries.”
“So, he’s not okay,” I grumbled, wincing as I tried shifting.
“Please stay still, Sarah. You’re body needs time to heal-.”
“I need to see Liam,” I snapped, feeling my heart suddenly grow heavy as my breathing hardened.
“Okay. Let me help you into a wheelchair-.”
“No,” I sniffed, feeling myself overwhelm. Tears dropped from my eyes while I pushed myself to sit up more, felt as she put her hand to my shoulder.
“You can’t be walking this soon, especially without crutches and you can’t use crutches with your hand how it is,” she said softly, noting something down on the clipboard. I looked down at my hand, my eyes swelling when I couldn’t move my fingers any more than a little twitch.
“Okay,” I breathed. “But he’s okay?”
“He’s in a coma at the moment but honey, that’s sure better than dead,” she whispered, reassuring me while I took in her dark skin, dark hair and dark eyes again.
“You’re right,” I nodded, letting her help me lean back as I let my tears fall from my eyes. “What’s your name?”
“Nia,” she smiled softly.
“Thanks, Nia. My brother was in a wheelchair before he died and I don’t like them,” I told her and she looked at me sadly but tried putting on a smile.
“I’m sorry. I lost my brother too when I was about your age. He’s the reason why I changed my courses and wanted to help people out here,” she said, sitting down on the chair beside me. I took a breath, glancing down at my hand again as she sighed. “I’ll run through it with you. Your hand was almost shattered. You dislocated your shoulder and your ankle was swollen but there’s no fractures. Other than that, the rest will heal within a week or so. The cuts and bruises, I mean. I am one of the nurses for this unit.”
“Lucky me,” I smiled, making her smile widely with a small laugh as she got to her feet again.
“Liam, is he your boyfriend?” She asked out of curiosity while I smiled at that.
“It’s complicated but he’s more that than anything else,” I answered and she nodded lightly, getting her clipboard and pen. “When do you think I could see him?”
“I advise you get at least an hour of rest. Then I’ll come check up on you and we’ll see how you feel about the wheelchair.”
“Okay. We’ll see,” I breathed, waved a little as she nodded and made her way to the bed opposite mine. I watched her start conversation with the little boy, sitting down on the edge of the bed as he smiled and sat up, looking excited.
“I didn’t know about your brother.”
I turned my head, felt my heart start to slow as Oliver was standing there, his hands in his front pockets while his eyes looked red, sad and tired.
“You heard that, hey,” I sighed, watched him come in and turn to sit on the side of my bed by my good foot. I looked over him but he didn’t look too good and I didn’t blame him. “How’s he doing?”
“Sleeping. They say he’ll be asleep for a while,” he whispered and I almost didn’t catch it but I did when I was reading his lips too. “He’s the one asleep and he’s got all the company,” he took a look down while I felt my eyes water again.
No one was here for me.
“Where are your parents?”
“Maybe they don’t know,” I shrugged but winced when pain came to my shoulder. I cursed under my breath, slowly let my arms fall back again as he watched me.
“Or maybe they do?”
“Yeah, probably actually,” I muttered. “Not everyone has a perfect and loving family, jerk.”
“And mine’s perfect?” He chuckled, shook his head lightly. “They don’t care enough to show up or what?”
“It’s none of your business.”
“No, but I want to know,” he replied and I closed my eyes, feeling them water again because this was all too much. My body hurt. My heart hurt. My head hurt. Everything hurt and I just wanted to cry it out but even crying hurt.
“Please, Oliver. Just leave me alone, I need to rest.”
“Okay. I’m sorry for coming and seeing if you’re okay,” he said, getting up and brushing off his jeans lightly. “I’ll see you later.”
“You don’t have to-.”
“Who else will if not me?” He asked, threw out his arms lightly as he walked away.
My lip quivered and my eyes watered while I laid back and closed my eyes.
How could they?
How could they choose work over me now? I’m in the hospital and I still can’t get their attention. What do I have to do for them to love me? Die?
If I died, would they have even cared or showed up then?
I don’t know.