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Chapter 38 : Madelyn

Chapter 38 : Madelyn
Friday, August 6th, 2021

Finding Xavier at my doorstep last night was a surprise I never would have expected.

I can still smell the faint scent of his aftershave on the pillow beside me, but unsurprisingly, I woke up today with the other side of my bed cold.

***

I faintly hear the sound of the front door closing rather harshly and when my head snaps up from my pillow, I find that it’s just past 11:00pm.

Hailey’s muffled voice comes from the other side of my bedroom, and just as I contemplate going out to see who it is, two soft knocks come from my door.

“Come in.” I quietly say, exhausted from being woken up from my sleep.

The hairs on the back of my neck begin to rise as the door slowly opens, and while it’s dark, the silhouette of the man standing against the frame instantly causes recognition and confusion to pass through my mind.

“Xavier?” I say, moving to sit up in bed as he moves from the doorway and closes it behind him with a soft thud, “Hey, are you alright?”

Concern from his unexpected arrival appears in my head.

“Sorry.” Is the only word that falls from his mouth causing me to furrow my eyebrows in the dark.

Using my elbow to prop myself up, I find myself unsure of what to say.

Xavier makes the first step though, pulling off his t-shirt without another word and tossing it onto the reading chair to his left.

My head is a little foggy from sleep still as he takes slow steps towards me, but I know it’s not desire in the reflection of his eyes right now.

It’s something else I can’t pin, so instead, I offer the next best thing.

Reaching behind me and lifting the duvet cover, I silently offer for him to get in beside me.

Slight hesitancy crosses his features before he takes another handful of steps, looping around to the other side of the bed.

He doesn’t touch me, but I can still feel the slight shake in his muscles as he moves in beside me, laying so his eyes are gazing up at the ceiling.

What’s going on?

“Xavier?” I ask after a silent pause between us, looking over my shoulder to find the conflicted man now looking at me.

He doesn’t seem like himself right now, but I want to try to help in any way I can.

“Can I... can I just hold you? Just for a little while?” He asks, and something inside of me breaks a little for him.

In all the time I’ve known Xavier so far, never once has he stuttered his words before and that causes so much worry and confusion to conflict my thoughts.

I could never say no, though.

Dropping the thick blanket over his large body, I move back slightly, and he takes that as an indication for him to close the small distance between us.

I’m just wearing a simple tank top and shorts right now, but the material may not even be there considering how my body instantly warms at the feeling of Xavier’s chest pressing up against my back.

His one arm loops around my waist, pulling my flush against him, while the other moves under my pillow for my head to rest on.

I feel myself unwinding at his touch and I feel his body reacting in the same way.

It’s as if our presence alone is all the medication we could need.

Like that night when I found him in the hot tub, we didn’t speak. We simply... lost ourselves in each other.

Despite the lack of clothes between us, our close proximity had nothing to do with sex right now and everything to do with everything else.

I felt his lips press to the back of my head, giving me a small kiss that said more than any words could illustrate.

He was saying thank you.

He was saying that he appreciated this more than he knew how to express.

My only response was allowing my heavy eyes to close, though I resisted sleep at first because I didn’t want this to end.

Xavier moved his one hand to play with the strands of my hair, sending warm, tingly feelings to my heart.

It felt like he stayed there for hours, slowly rocking me to sleep just as his massage had last time.

His muscles loosened and both the emotional and physical tension seemed to dissipate from his body by just having me in his arms.

I knew I didn’t have long before I caved in to the weight of sleep, but there was one thing I wanted to say before that happened.

“Xavier.” I mumbled, faintly smiling as he hummed in response, “Please don’t leave.” I say, and while my words left room for a lot of interpretation, I knew he was aware of what remained unspoken.

Please don’t leave me.

The light kiss planted below my ear is his first response before his deep voice utters one word and one word alone.

“Never.”

With that final statement, I allowed myself to drift into sleep, my last thoughts being the feeling of his hands in my hair and his familiar smell filling my senses.

***

Like that time with the hot tub, he was gone when I woke up the next morning.

I spent most of the day on my own, figuring out things with my business, which is actually going pretty well.

My business cards were a huge promoter for me, because I have two weddings planned for next year, as well as a few holiday themed shoots for later on.

As usual, I went to Jolene’s, and after that I met up with a couple who are now my new clients.

They wanted to plan a fall shoot for themselves and their three kids, so we were working out the details of that for the last few hours.

Now, I’m currently at home, waiting for Xavier to pick me up for tonight.

I was going to drive like I had in the past, but he said he was more than capable of taking me himself.

I wasn’t going to complain about that.

Plus, it’s more time I’ll be able to spend with him.

Slipping on a jacket overtop of my loose white shirt, I move to the window when I hear the hum of a vehicle stop out front of my house.

My eyes narrow though, because it doesn’t sound like a car.

It sounds like a... holy shit, he didn’t.

Opening the front door, my eyes widened at the motorcycle parked out front of the house, a messy haired Xavier moving off of the bike.

He’s not wearing a helmet, but he is wearing a black leather jacket, black boots and black pants, an amused smile plastered on his face.

“Sweetheart.” He says in greeting, walking right up to me and planting a kiss on my temple.

The action causes butterflies to flutter in my stomach, but I wonder why he hasn’t ever kissed me on the lips.

“Hey.” I grin nervously, looking down at the helmet in his hand. The size of it alone is enough to tell me that it’s meant for my head, not his.

“I thought I could maybe take you for a ride before we went back for the night.” Xavier moves to my side, allowing me to see the bike.

I’ve never been on a motorcycle before, but the thought of being on one has my blood pumping excitedly throughout my body.

It also has my brain thinking about all the ways I could die, but I shove that down.

“I’d never let you fall.” Xavier says in my ear, circling his hand on my lower back.

I take a breath of encouragement before turning my eyes to his.

“I know.” I bite the inside of my cheek before he takes my hand in his.

The action surprises me, but it also warms me.

Xavier leads me over to the bike, placing the mostly black helmet on my head and securing it for me.

It feels a little heavy, and I wish I tied back my hair, but I suppose that’s to be expected.

I lift my hands to shift the helmet slightly, and in that time, Xavier easily gets onto the bike causing my heart to race.

If he drives this thing like he drives his car, then I’m sure I’m in for one hell of an adrenaline rush again.

His hand moves out to me, offering it as balance as I take a step up to the motorcycle and swing my leg over with very little grace.

I see the corners of his lips twitch in an attempt not to laugh at me, but I end up laughing at myself anyways.

I think it’s more of a distraction though from the fact that not only am I now pressed dangerously close to Xavier’s body, but I can also feel the hum of the engine running throughout my muscles now.

Taking a breath, I wrap my arms around Xavier’s back, letting my hands rest against the middle of his torso.

“You’re going to want to hold on tighter than that, sweetheart.” He laughs, and I barely have time to comprehend what that means before he kicks off, sending the bike moving forward and my arms gripping tighter around his stomach.

An exhilarated squeal falls from my lips as the speed only seems to continue increasing, speeding out of the typically quiet neighborhood and towards the first exit onto the highway.

I was right to assume Xavier was just as crazy of a driver on a motorcycle as he is in his hundred thousand dollar cars, but I can’t help but crave more and more of this surprisingly liberating experience.

The second we merge onto the highway, Xavier moves to the far left lane and connects his phone to the speakers, loud music instantly blaring out of them.

With the wind blowing against the free strands of my hair and the endless road in front of us, I can’t help it as a true laugh leaves my mouth.

My heart is still beating rapidly against my chest, knowing I should probably get him to slow down, but not wanting to in the least.

It looked like the sun was about to set soon, and I craved every moment as everything around us flashes by in a blur of hues.

My hands are looser around Xavier now, but I don’t move them an inch. I like the feeling of his body against mine, and more specifically the way his heartbeat quickens and his muscles flex under my fingertips.

Every single one of my senses feels stimulated to an unexplainable extreme right now, and I feel myself getting high off of the familiar smell of Xavier’s shampoo and the horizon that appears to go on for forever.

This is a moment I don’t want to end anytime soon, and I get the feeling Xavier shares the same thoughts.

Instead of getting off at the exit leading to their house, he keeps driving forward, allowing it to pass by as a now distant sight.

“Where are we going?” I yell over the noise, tightening my grip again when Xavier passes multiple people who are actually going the speed limit.

“You’ll see.” Xavier shouts back, and I can’t help but form a hidden smile in the happiness that could be heard in his tone.

He seemed at ease right now, something he did not appear to be when he showed up at the house last night.

I wondered if he had a fight with Caleb and Alec before his surprise visit, but that’s something we can talk about later.

Right now, I just want to lose myself in the combination of both physical and emotional relaxation with a hint of fear and adrenaline pumping through my veins.

_____

It wasn’t too long before Xavier’s speed began to slow slightly, the motorcycle moving onto a secluded, freshly paved road.

My mouth parted in awe at the sight beside me, a large body of water to my left, tainted in a mixture of pinks and purples from the sun setting in behind it.

I couldn’t believe how stunning it was, and my breath caught as Xavier really started to slow, turning his bike off of the road and into a large clearing that bordered the peaceful waves.

“This is where you planned to take me?” I smile as the motorcycle is shut off, my body carefully moving and planting my two feet down on the small rocks and dirt that made up the ground.

“Improvised, but I think it was worth it.” Xavier answers, swinging his leg over the seat so he can move over and take off my helmet for me, even though I’m more than capable of doing it myself.

He quickly paces it in a compartment attached to the bike before I see him stand directly beside me, so close our arms touch together.

Both of our eyes are facing the truly stunning scenery before us, but I know mutually, our attention is focused on each other.

It’s on the steady rise and fall of our chests and the warm feeling of our skin gently pressed against each other.

At the touch, my mind briefly travels back to last night and how conflicted he seemed when he showed up at my door.

“You don’t have to, but do you want to talk about what last night was about?” I asked, though my head didn’t turn to him despite how much I wanted to.

I felt a slightly heavier breath leave him during a pause he creates, but I give him the time to sort through his own thoughts.

“Truthfully...” He starts, once again pausing before continuing, “It’s not a conversation I’m ready to face yet, even though I should.”

I can understand that in many ways, and while I’m very curious, I don’t try to push him any further.

“Ask me something else and I promise to answer.” Xavier says, and I know in his voice that he was sincere in his words.

I’m sure there are so many deeper questions I could think up right now, but there is one that is currently on my mind.

“Why haven’t you kissed me yet?” I ask, holding my breath as I wait for his response.

I can see in the corner of my eye Xavier’s head turned to look at me, but I keep my gaze on the setting sun and swirls of colour.

“This is all very new for me.” He finally answers, the quicker thump in my heart returning, “I can barely remember the last time I was in a relationship with someone I had feelings for...”

I turn my head to look at Xavier, his brown eyes catching and holding mine.

“Kissing not only makes things intimate, but it also makes them real.” He continues, and I try to search his eyes for what he’s feeling right now, but I don’t know.

I can’t tell if he’s trying to tell me he hasn’t kissed me because he doesn’t want it to be real or intimate, or if it’s something else.

“So that’s why I kept waiting with you.” Xavier tells me, taking one small step closer to my body. “With you, I want to feel alive again. I wanted to wait to do something crazy, like speeding fifty over the limit with nothing but you and me, the rest of the world around us stopping.”

My heart is now beating for an entirely different reason, fluttering along with the core of my stomach.

“I wanted it to be special, and I wanted it to be on our own time.”

Xavier steps in front of my body, one hand falling on my hip and the other brushing back a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

Both of my hands are slightly behind me, leaning against the motorcycle for balance as Xavier comes closer.

The view behind him fades into a distant setting; the only breathtaking thing I can see now is the man in front of me.

The edges of the sun glow orange behind Xavier’s head, his messy dark hair falling along his forehead and the sides of his face.

I look over the long scar that runs through his eyebrow and the warm colour of his skin. It’s all accentuated by the fading sun in the background.

Everything about him can only be described as painfully beautiful, especially those dark brown eyes of his that have me both physically and emotionally melting at his feet.

I had no idea how I went this long without knowing him, but now that I have, I don’t know if I’d ever be able to recover from losing him. From losing any of them.

“Xavier.” My voice comes out breathy and quiet, as my body becomes trapped between the motorcycle and his hips, giving me no escape, not that I’d ever want one.

I can tell the way his name rolled off my tongue was the cause of his eyes darkening and his tongue running over his perfectly shaped lips.

Our breaths are in sync as every movement is slow and intricate, Xavier’s arm lifting to cup my cheek in his rough, callused hand.

I can’t help it as I slightly lean into his touch, wetting my lips at how close we now are to each other.

The anticipation between us grows with every passing second, but it’s clear that we both want to take our time with this.

“I don’t know where you’ve been all my goddamn life, Madelyn,” Xavier says, holding his mouth just over mine, “But I’m never going to let you go now that I have you.”

A flurry of emotions appear in my head at his words, my heart stopping for a moment when his lips softly brush against mine.

My knees are trembling slightly still from the adrenaline and the build up between us, but when he closes the distance again, my eyes fall shut and all thought leaves my mind.

The second Xavier’s mouth met mine, the world ceased to exist.

His touch was passionate, intimate, and something I’ll never be able to get over.

Xavier’s lips were as soft as they looked, but the kiss was anything but.

It was punishing and forgiving, wild and thorough, claiming and yielding.

No words could describe this shared feeling between us right now, but the only thing I could think about was him.

Xavier was an absolute artist with his mouth, and all I could do was fight to keep up, meeting his tongue stroke for stroke.

My hands moved from the bike as I was lifted to sit on it, grabbing onto his black leather jacket for support as I pressed him as close as he could get.

My legs parted around his large body, drawing Xavier in and refusing to let go, even when my head told me we’d both need air soon.

Neither of us could stop what we started though.

I was distantly aware of the sounds that were coming out of me from the kiss, but nothing about this was quiet anymore.

Our hair was being tugged demandingly by each other, and our bodies were connecting in a way that was indescribable.

Every smell, touch, and sound was intensified to the point of being dizzying, and it took Xavier pulling away to create a small break in between those immense feelings.

While my legs remained wrapped around his waist, our foreheads fell to rest against each other, shaky breaths leaving both of our bodies.

I don’t ever want this to end, and Xavier doesn’t allow it to, keeping me pinned close to him with the motorcycle as his aid.


- End of Chapter 38 -

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A/N: I hope you loved this chapter as much as I did writing it! I just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone reading my story and helping to support my work on this platform.

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