Chapter 70 : Madelyn
Content Warning: This chapter contains light consensual non-consent (CNC) themes, as well as knife play. This kind of material is not something everyone is interested in reading, so this is a warning to skip this chapter if you’re not comfortable (or read with caution).
Sexual Content Warning ⚠️
Chapter 70 : Madelyn
Thursday, September 2nd, 2021
It has been four days since I last heard anything from Xavier, but I feel like at some point enough should be enough.
I didn’t hold his need to be alone against him, because I truly understand the feeling, however short texts and bland responses weren’t enough for me.
I’d been gone for an entire week without seeing him, plus these additional four with the exception of the two hour plane ride back from Detroit.
Either way, I was worried, and sad, and I missed him.
Xavier didn’t deserve to be alone through whatever is happening, and today was the first day he initiated texting me, telling me he was safe and just finishing up some paperwork at Rush.
His mistake was that he believed I would wait until he got back to his house to see him.
While I was still staying at Hailey’s and had been since I got back, Xavier wasn’t allowed to just block me out completely and then act like everything’s fine when he finally decides to show up again.
I knew he was hurting, and it was the only reason I wasn’t mad, but I still wanted to see him, even if he didn’t want to talk.
My mind had been made up, and as I walked straight past the bouncers at the back entrance, I prayed to God he was genuinely okay and not physically hurt as a result of whatever it is he does during these trips of his.
The usual receptionist, Cassidy, wasn’t there as I moved through the lobby, but that was the only thing I’d noticed between the decision of getting in my car and now as I stood in front of the door to Xavier’s office.
Please let him be okay.
While I knew the password to the lock, I still knocked as my breath held in wait.
He had to have known it was me because I doubt there are very few people who have entry to this hallway in the club, but the pause had me second guessing if he was even actually on the other side.
Debating just walking away, I almost gave up at the same time I heard the click of a lock and the twist of a handle.
My heart skipped a beat as the door slowly opened, but it was the man who answered that had me tightening with uncertainty.
Xavier’s large body leaned against the frame as I took in his appearance—the accurate representation of whatever demons he’s been fighting these last few days.
The usual short trim of his facial hair had grown out a little since I last saw him, but it was the darkness of both his irises and under eyes that had me thinking my worry was more than justified.
“I’ll leave if you want me to, but I just—” I wasn’t even able to finish my sentence before he was pulling me in tight to his body, his arms wrapping around me and hugging as close as he could manage.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered instantly, his lips brushing against my head as I returned his unexpected embrace.
Xavier still felt the same, just as his smell was as comforting as usual, but I was no fool to believe he was okay.
Most of the time the man in my arms is a closed book, but he lets me see and hear every emotion in his apology.
I very rarely hear Xavier’s voice shake, and it did just now.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you passed out. I should have—”
“Shh,” I cut him off, just happy he was here again. Whatever angry concern I had on the drive here seemed like something of the past as his grip around me tightened, a relieved but tired sigh leaving both of our mouths.
We really do need to talk about him just leaving out of nowhere, but it was clear Xavier hadn’t just left for the fun of it.
If his disorganized appearance wasn’t indication enough, then the sadness of his hug was.
“It’s been a rough week.” Xavier lets out a heavy breath of air as he pulls us slightly away from the door, closing it so we could have some privacy together.
I really wanted him to open up to me, but I also knew we were both walking on eggshells right now around each other.
I didn’t want to push him past his boundaries, however this conversation we needed to have was not one that could continue to be delayed and swept under the rug.
“Do you think we could talk for a little?” Xavier asks the words I’ve been waiting to hear for the last four days, and I, of course, nodded and allowed him to lead the both of us over to the dark coloured couch in the corner.
I sat beside him while my legs were brought to drape over his thighs, his hands instantly falling to smooth up and down the freshly waxed skin from my appointment yesterday.
I know Xavier noticed how soft my legs were just as I noticed how rough his hands felt.
“You’re hurt.” I frown as I take his fingers into mine, not wanting to aggravate the bruises across his knuckles.
“I know.” He says lowly as I lift his hand to my lips, pressing a gentle kiss to his pain just as he did for me a few days ago. “It’s why I had to leave.”
His eyes didn’t leave mine as I slowly lowered his fingers back to his lap. He didn’t let go, though, instead interlacing his hand with mine.
The gesture was sweet, even if he didn’t mean it to be.
I think Xavier needed my comfort just as much as I needed his, and I was more than happy to give it to him as the side of my head rested against the couch back.
“What happened?” I ask, not just about his knuckles but everything else that led up to this moment.
I wanted to know everything he was willing to share with me, and I had a strong feeling it was a lot based on the vulnerable expression he wore across his face.
“I’ve never really been good at describing my emotions... but I promise I’ll try.” Xavier says, his tone growing a little quieter as his thumb brushes against my knee. “Do you remember me telling you that my mother passed away when I was a child?”
I listened as his voice broke at the sentence, and it was my heart that broke for him when I realized why he’d left—why he didn’t want to be around anyone for the last four days.
“Sunday was the anniversary of her death.”
Xavier turned his head away to hide the tears threatening to spill from his eyes, but I knew he was also hiding his anger and every other emotion brewing inside.
His mother didn’t just die, she was murdered by the same man he’s been hunting for years. I can’t remember the name as he very rarely mentions him around me, but I knew his recklessness was a result of the pain this monster caused.
“You’d think after almost two decades I’d be able to move on, but the pain never really goes away.” Xavier says, not resisting as I turn his head to look at me. “So I make it. That’s why I had to leave.”
I understood what he was saying, but I still didn’t get why he couldn’t have just told me this. I have a feeling it has a lot to do with how he makes things go away, though.
“What do you do to clear your mind?” I ask, knowing that whatever he does hasn’t been enough for him.
There was a wild look still in his eyes, and I suspected I knew the answers before they even left his mouth.
He’s never been in a serious relationship until me, and it was the changing factor in his struggle to forget everything from the past that still haunts his present.
“It doesn’t matter.” Xavier shakes his head as his hands on my legs still.
We both knew it was a lie, but things were slowly beginning to make sense for me.
I remembered the way Xavier trashed his room all of those nights ago after something bad had happened, because for him, it was a release.
The fights I’m sure he’d provoked to get bruises like the ones he had was a release. Just as was drinking, and the one thing he couldn’t do because of his respect for me.
“It matters when you’re wound so tight you can’t even look at me after four days straight of solitude.” I say, brushing my hand against his jaw but freezing when his one hand grabs onto my wrist.
It wasn’t painful, but it was strong enough to show I was right.
“Rush used to be a place where you could work out your stress on as many women as you wanted without the commitment of either person’s feelings getting involved.” I state, understanding where he was coming from now.
“You use alcohol, sex, and pain as distractions, but this year only two of them are there for you to exploit.” I continue, knowing after a week of silence, I was finally getting somewhere with him.
I could tell by the clench of his jaw and the darkness of his eyes, a very clear shift occurring in his demeanor.
“You may be right, sweetheart, but this is only proving I’m not in control enough to come home yet.” Xavier gently moves my legs off of him as he tries to create distance between us, but I wasn’t lying to myself when I came here with a purpose.
I learned a long time ago what makes Xavier tick, and as much as I loved him wanting to protect me, that’s not what either of us needed.
This last week has been full of me trying to come to terms with things myself, and I was just as on edge as he was, even if he doesn’t want to admit it.
“You’re not in control because you haven’t allowed yourself what you need.” I argue, not making any more advances apart from my words and wandering eyes.
I’ve never seen Xavier squirm before, but what he was doing right now came pretty damn close to it.
I didn’t want him to feel like he ever has to hold himself back from me, especially when I can help him forget. The only thing is that he needs a bit of a push, and it was one I was more than happy to deliver.
“I know what you think you’re doing, but you need to stop, Madelyn.” Xavier says, channeling all of the dominance I’m familiar with into a single sentence.
He rarely ever says my full name, and while my body reacts accordingly to the warning in the form of a racing heart, a taunting smile also appears on my face.
“And why is that, Daddy?” I smirked, taking my foot and dragging it slowly up his ankle. I continued my path northwards until his hand stopped me, his fingers sending shivers down my spine with his touch alone.
I knew he believed this was an issue of him not having control, but it was quite the opposite. He had too much restraint, and it was holding him back to the point of him doing every other unhealthy thing possible than accepting my help.
“One of us needs to be intelligent about this, and it’s clear you’ve taken on the role of being a brat instead.” Xavier says lowly, letting go of my leg despite the evidence of how much I’m affecting him. “If I touch you in the way you think you want right now, I’m not going to be nice or gentle about it.”
There was no anger in his tone, but no amount of resistance could hide the tenseness of his body. I wasn’t going to force anything on him, however I wasn’t going to let him decide what I can and can’t handle either.
When we wrote the contract together, I signed off on consensual non-consent. My mind hasn’t changed about it in the least.
“I don’t remember asking you to be gentle, Xavier.” I purposefully add a bit of attitude to his name as I outright challenge whatever he’s convinced will happen if he relies on me to know my limits. “Assuming you’re sober, the only damn thing holding you back is yourself and your stupid—”
I didn’t even get to finish my sentence before a hand was being wrapped around my throat, pulling me towards Xavier until I was straddling his lap.
A flash of darkness was the only thing I saw before his lips were crashing against mine, devouring me and stealing every last bit of air from my lungs.
I melted as his hands pulled my front flush to his, my body melding to his desire and submitting to just how much we missed each other.
A week’s worth of longing, sadness and excitement all merged into one long kiss that set my heart on fire.
Something inside of me whined in protest when Xavier pulled away from me, but his hand remained wrapped around my neck as he felt my pulse flutter beneath his fingertips.
“Are you sure you’re okay with this, sweetheart?” He pants against my lips, his hair slightly tousled from where my fingers are still gripping onto. “There’s so much more we should probably talk about and I don’t want you to feel pressured just because I’m a little stressed.”
We both knew he was more than a little stressed, but there was no way in hell I was backing out now that he’d kissed me.
I needed this release just as much as him, and I mean something that is so much bigger than just a few orgasms.
“I want you.” I say, my words sounding so unlike me and so lust-driven I would’ve blushed under different circumstances. “Believe it or not, Xavier, I’ve fantasized about being roughly handled by you since Alec told me in Brooklyn you were interested in CNC.”
I think my words might have surprised him a little bit, but when I shifted in his lap, there was no doubt about how much we both wanted this.
Leaning forward slightly, I turned Xavier’s head until my mouth was hovering right below his ear, smiling to myself at his reaction.
“I want you to fuck me like you hate me, and then hold me when we’re both too spent to move.” That was all it took before whatever little control he had left snapped.
A mixture of a groan and a growl built deep in Xavier’s chest as he pulled me back by my hair, looking at me in the way I’d been waiting for.
My heart raced excitedly as understanding passed through us—understanding of what we were about to do together. I trusted with every part of me that Xavier would take care of me, and I knew that because he didn’t jump into things and kiss me again.
Instead, Xavier gently lifted me off of his lap and onto the couch beside him so we could do what was most important for scenes like this.
“Let’s discuss our limits.”
While the two of us had already signed a general BDSM contract together, Xavier and I spent just over an hour doing nothing but talking about our interests all over again.
For example, Xavier took every tool I agreed for impact play off of the table because he said for first times it can make things dangerous if I’m moving too much to get away.
On the other side of things, I said no to blindfolds since I really didn’t want to miss a single part of what was about to happen. And, I feared it might trigger me to not be able to see what was happening given my history.
Things that weren’t limits normally became them for the night and vice versa—all reasons in which it was so important to communicate beforehand like we are now.
I may have been soaked from talking about sex for the last hour with the epitome of sex himself, but after enough time, we were able to also establish an outline of sorts as to what we were going to do.
While a lot of tonight would be us acting on our natural instincts, Xavier and I discussed a lot of the events that would be taking place as well in almost more detail than my body could handle.
Everything I needed to feel comfortable had been offered, and now, I was currently in our playroom at Rush, alone and practically shaking from how turned on I was.
We agreed this would begin with a game of hide and seek of sorts, and with Xavier not currently in the room, I was to hide as best as I could in the limited space we had.
Considering this wasn’t a usual scene, I didn’t take off a single piece of clothing as I hid behind the door leading into the bathroom.
The thought of Xavier ripping them off of my body had me shivering with desire anyways.
I had no idea how long it would take him before he decided to come into the room, but I didn’t expect it to be within thirty seconds of me hiding.
It was the four digit passcode on the lock I heard first, then the sound of the door opening, closing, and then the sound of unhurried footsteps into the room.
“You know it’s quite rude to break onto other people’s property without permission, little one.” Xavier spoke calmly, his dominance flowing over to me from those few words alone.
I urged my heart to steady as my hand covered my mouth, praying he couldn’t hear the uneven breaths threatening to reveal me.
Of course they were naturally louder to my own ear than his, but I was well aware of what Xavier’s specialty was for work. He knew how to hunt, and there wasn’t a doubt in my mind he didn’t already know where I was.
“Don’t be afraid.” Xavier smiles as I watch him through the crack of the door, my breath hitching at the sight of the small knife twirling expertly between his fingers. “Why don’t we talk about what happens to bad girls who break the rules?”
Despite already expecting the weapon, it didn’t change the shocking effect of actually seeing it. Xavier handled the blade with such grace and precision it had my knees wanting to buckle, my eyes tearing away from the sight in fear he would sense my gaze on him.
He’d wanted me to listen to his footsteps when he first came in, but all I was met with now was deafening silence.
I squirmed and shifted under the pressure like a rabbit caught in a snare, and I truly felt like prey when I braved looking back to the room just to find unoccupied space.
“Found you.” A deep voice snuck up behind me, and then I was running, trying to slam the door closed as I moved towards the only exit here.
I didn’t expect the adrenaline to make me feel as good as it did, but a part of me came alive from my futile attempts at escaping.
The beauty of this is that both of us knew how this was going to end, and getting away wasn’t a possibility Xavier would allow.
Gasping at the feeling of a large hand grabbing onto my waist, my front was abruptly pushed against the wall, barely even close to the door as a heavy weight kept me still.
“Let go of me.” I fought against the way Xavier’s one thigh pressed firmly between my two, my clit rubbing against him as I squirmed.
“You think you can disrespect me like this and run away without punishment?” His chilling voice chuckles close enough to my ear that I can feel his exhale in amusement. “Because let me let you in on a little secret. You can’t.”
A whimper fell past my lips as I was nearly lifted onto my tiptoes from the force of Xavier’s leg, an intense pressure rubbing against myself from my struggle.
There was no question about how much bigger the man at my back was than me, but I was also trained and knew how to get out of a hold like this.
I just prayed it wouldn’t be something I’d regret, even if I have previous consent to do it.
Feeling Xavier’s one hand roughly begin to tug at my shirt, I used it as motivation as I reared my head back, connecting with his jaw hard due to the height difference.
I smiled as he stumbled back just enough for me to get free, shoving him away as I took a few cautious movements closer to the door.
In any other case I would’ve ran, but for the briefest of moments, my eyes met Xavier’s and held there.
I took in the heavy rise and fall of his chest that matched my own, traveling up to where his fingers were brushing against the place I’d hit.
I’m near certain it will have a faint bruise come tomorrow morning, but it wasn’t guilt that had me frozen in place. It was the terrifying smirk that curled across Xavier’s lips as though he were a little proud of the action... and even more turned on.
I tracked the movement the second he took a step towards me, recovering frighteningly quick from the impact when I turned and spun back to the door.
There was a little more distance between us this time, but Xavier was faster than what should be humanly possible.
I only made it two steps before my hopes were crushed, a firm grasp locking onto my shoulder and taking me to the ground.
My balance betrayed me as I was forced to grit my teeth as I fell, Xavier’s pressing weight following me down.
“So quick to run, but not nearly quick enough.” He mocked, a hand holding onto my neck and effectively pinning me to the floor.
I tried to buck out of his hold, but couldn’t, feeling that freeing rush of control transfer over to the man holding me.
That’s what Xavier was doing right now. Despite following along with the scene, he also made sure I was feeling safe in the most subtle ways he knew I needed.
“It’s a shame, really.” He continued his act of demeaning disappointment, the daze from my cushioned fall slowly fading away into more thrashing and squirming beneath him.
I was well aware that my frantic movements repeatedly caused me to rub against Xavier’s erection at my back, and that only encouraged me to continue my struggles, even once he gathered both of my wrists into one hand and pinned them between us.
The action meant I’d gained back mobility of my head, but Xavier made sure to keep well out of my reach now that he’d been hit once.
I cried out angrily as I felt the warmth of his mouth meet the sensitive point of my neck, frustrated he’d overpowered me so easily and knew it too.
“Mmm.” He smiled against my throat, his tongue darting out before sucking and grazing his teeth against the skin.
I didn’t want the fight to be over yet, and I most certainly didn’t want Xavier to know something so simple affected me this much.
His smugness genuinely spurred me on as I tried to kick at his side, only to be met with his knees preventing me from even lifting the backs of my legs.
“Get off.” I demanded, even though I knew every second of my struggle was slowly draining my already fading remains of strength.
“I plan to.” Xavier allowed more of his weight to bear down on me, forcing me to feel every part of him that was connected to my body.
While his words caused me to flush against my wishes, I couldn’t ignore the hard muscle of his front defined against my back, the unmistakable hot length of him pressing against my ass.
He made sure I knew who was controlling me, and I let out a mixed, strangled sound when Xavier’s hips rolled forwards, using my slack and breathless body for his pleasure.
“Are you going to be a good girl and let me take your clothes off?” His low voice groaned in my ear, and as planned, I continued this game of resistance by squirming beneath him.
“Screw you.” I snapped, my words leading to the tightening grip of the hand around my wrists before I felt Xavier’s weight ease up a noticeable amount.
I was still being held down, but now he had a lot more access to me, his roaming fingertips taking clear advantage of this position.
For a moment that’s all he did, the shuffling of clothing meeting my ears in time with the uneven beat of my heart. That moment, however, was highly short-lived.
Suddenly, I felt something tear at my clothes, slicing through the material effortlessly and cleanly.
“I guess it’s going to have to be the hard way, then.” Xavier says threateningly, but I knew this was exactly what he wanted.
One second I was shivering at the sudden rush of air I was exposed to, the next I was being picked up and tossed over his shoulder like I was nothing.
I screamed when he slapped my ass perched right over his shoulder, hard enough to have my fists pounding against his back in protest.
Just as I went to slap him in return, all of the breath was whooshed from my lungs as I was tossed down onto the large, familiar bed.
The only difference now was that black rope was tied to all four corners of the posts, the intent behind them no doubt to restrain me.
Despite my attempts to roll off of the bed and run off, Xavier ends up straddling me with his knees resting on either side of my waist, my arms being pulled forcefully above my head.
Though I shouldn’t be surprised, I couldn’t believe how easily he suppressed every action I delivered at full effort. It was like I was nothing more than a doll for him to manipulate, and with my first wrist skillfully tied up, my testing tug proved me entirely restricted.
“Colour?” Xavier asks as he peers down at me, holding onto my second hand but not moving as he waited for my response.
My struggle slowed just enough that I was able to meet the darkness swirling in his eyes, but I also saw the affection of my boyfriend rubbing his thumb against my wrist to monitor my reactions.
“Green.” I blinked and he was moving again, though the check in showed he was more than in control of himself, his smirk in control of me.
It took nothing more than mere seconds before both of my hands were tied apart to the headboard, whatever knots Xavier had done holding tight without hurting me in any way.
He didn’t bother to hide his amusement when my arms tried to tug at the bindings, my chest rising and falling with only my underwear left to cover me.
“Are you going to behave or do I need to tie your legs down too?” Xavier questions with a challenging cock of his head, no words able to pass my lips.
Instead, I took advantage of the slight space between us as I brought my leg up, kicking out until I met his chest. Or tried to.
Xavier moved insanely fast as his fingers wrapped around me, placing my foot to rest against his shoulder as his head dipped down.
My eyes never left his as a surprisingly gentle kiss was placed on my ankle, a second passing before his teeth grazed against the bone.
He held me still as a place I never expected to be sensitive was teased, shocks spreading throughout my entire body from a single touch.
“So responsive.” A quiet murmur was spoken as I squirmed, my leg being placed back onto the bed before rope was promptly tied around there too.
I couldn’t even fight now if I wanted to, and Xavier knew that as his guard lowered and he raised himself off of me.
Truthfully, I didn’t really know what to do now that I quite literally couldn’t resist him, but I already knew somewhat of what was coming next and it had my heart thrumming nervously in my chest.
The glint of the knife from earlier had my pulse spiking as Xavier drew it from his pocket, resting the blade across my stomach as his hands shifted to pull off the shirt he was wearing.
It felt as though all of the breath inside of me left again at the sight of tattoos and muscle, wanting to press myself up but not being able to.
That in itself was frustrating, although the frustration didn’t last long when Xavier slowly leaned forward, dark strands of his hair falling across his forehead and partially over his scar.
For a moment, I almost thought he was going to kiss me, but then he did quite the opposite. Failing to notice he’d retrieved the knife between us, I only realized he’d moved when I felt my breasts being freed from the containment of my bra, the center of it now open from a cut down the middle.
Unsuccessfully yanking at the black rope in response, Xavier sliced both straps around my shoulders as well before tossing the ruined material to the floor.
Even if he tried to play mean, I knew he was happy right now, a small trace of the smile on his face he couldn’t hide.
It’s felt like forever since I last had his hands on my body, and when his head dipped down to take my nipple into his mouth, I cried out his name wishing I could thread my fingers through his soft hair.
Keeping his eyes on me, he watched as I writhed beneath him in desperation and pleasure right before he pulled back, smirking at my whimper.
“You’re doing so good.” Xavier encourages as he stops touching me entirely, moving off of the bed and leaving me tied up at his mercy. “But you do look quite pretty like this.”
Moving the only part of me I still could, my neck craned to see the mini fridge door across from me being opened, Xavier’s back only straightening after he’d retrieved what was now in his hand.
The object was something we’d discussed for a long time before the events that led up to now, but that didn’t stop my heart from racing at the sight of the new knife being alternated between his fingers.
Knife play was something I’ve always been interested in, but my past has always stopped me from exploring it. When Xavier first mentioned the idea, I was hesitant, but my trust in him made me feel a lot more comfortable, especially because he took the time to fully talk about it with me.
The blade between his fingertips was so intentionally dull, not even simple squirming on my part would cause blood to be drawn. That was a hard limit of mine we’d discussed, but I was okay with light scratches and marks painting Xavier’s path down my body.
The intention of the cold temperature of the fridge was to freeze the knife to the point the steel’s coolness could mimic the sensations of actual pain. It was the perfect compromise that would allow me to experience exactly what I wanted while keeping me in the right headspace in the process.
“Though, I do think you would look much prettier with my initials carved into that soft skin of yours.” Xavier smirked as he gave me the time I needed to take all of this in, slowly walking back to the bed before placing the knife down once again against my front.
I couldn’t help the small hiss I let out at how freezing it was, but when Xavier moved back onto the bed, this time he wore no shirt and his belt was half undone.
He tracked the movement of me biting my bottom lip as I warmed at the contact his presence brought, my hips trying to roll but stopping when they were straddled. However it wasn’t the action that made me squirm, but rather the small vibrator Xavier had retrieved, turning it onto a low setting.
I couldn’t even hear the usual hum of it, but I knew it was on when it was circled ever so lightly over my underwear, Xavier smiling before he moved past the fabric until the toy was directly on my clit.
My mouth parted and my core tightened at the sensations, Xavier gauging my every reaction as his fingers left with the material of my underwear holding it in place.
The vibrations were nowhere near unbearable, but we both knew what came next, and that had my arousal heightened by so much more than I knew possible.
Watching the knife move with the rise and fall of my stomach, my heart raced as it was picked up slowly and raised to my neck.
“Stay still for me.” Xavier says as a gasp left my mouth, his eyes holding mine while he dragged the blade across my right collar bone before moving to the other. My legs failed as they tried to close from the pressure, the pain in combination with the pleasure making me dizzy.
Allowing my eyes to fall shut, I simply felt, embracing the sharp feeling of the knife moving down my sternum before veering slightly to the left.
It took everything in me not to move, but my eyes snapped open only seconds later when Xavier began to trace cold lines around the swell of my breasts, my face flushing to find he’s been watching me the entire time.
Though I wanted to hold that gaze, my fear caused me to look down instead as the blade got closer and closer to my nipple, his fingers intentionally gliding the weapon in circles around the hardened peak.
“Xavier.” I moaned, and I think it was the breathy sound of his name on my tongue that caused him to change, dragging the knife right over my nipple and causing me to cry out his name all over again.
A second later his mouth was on me, his warm tongue flicking the bud and sucking it painfully into his mouth where he had just threatened to cut.
“You fucking consume me, Madelyn.” Xavier growled as he kissed up my body, his fingers taking over instead as he pinched and pulled a string of noises from my parted lips.
Only when he was fully hovering above me did the knife return, this time tracing spots on my stomach and over my hips.
“When you say my name like that, sweetheart...” He continues, breaking to kiss me as our lips collide in pure desperation. “Nothing else matters.”
“Xavier,” I moaned again, drowning in the waves of his words until all that was left was us—two people who not only found ourselves lost in our touch but in each other.
Sensing the change between us, I smiled as the knife was tossed off of the bed with a clatter and the bindings of my hands were undone.
Instantly, my fingers found their way weaved through the dark strands of Xavier’s hair, pulling until a deep groan escaped his lips.
“I need you now.” I say against his mouth, my hips rolling up to rub against his hard length just to push the vibrations harder against my clit. It was an overwhelming pleasure that didn’t last for long, my underwear being torn straight from my body hastily as the toy fell to my side.
“I know.” Xavier whispers as he lifts up slightly, undoing his pants while my legs remain tied apart. “Me too.”
Those words were the last he spoke before he was bearing down on me and thrusting himself forward, his cock filling and stretching me until he was as deep as he could reach.
There was a moment—a very short moment—where all we could do was remain unmoving, staring into each other’s eyes as our bodies became connected as one.
I could feel the twitch of his dick just as well as I could feel the emotion radiating off of the both of us, needing this release more than we needed the air that filled our lungs. We needed the push and pull of everything that led up to being here, and as Xavier slowly pulled out, I knew we were about to get that.
Suddenly being filled to the brim again, my back arched in sync with the movement of my hand, reaching up and holding onto his shoulder.
“Thank you.” I heard him mumble into my ear, smiling as I watched every contained part of him become unchained.
In a second, everything about us unraveled, my fingers on his shoulder not just holding him but trying to shove him away too. This wasn’t just our fantasy anymore, it was a fight to be okay. It was one we fed off of each other to achieve.
“Shit!” I screamed as Xavier became unhinged, rocking his hips mercilessly against me as his unrelenting grip held me still for his pounding.
He didn’t care as my hands pushed out to try and get him off of me, using the momentum of my body to only fuck into me harder accompanied by his sounds of obvious satisfaction.
I, however, clenched my jaw, biting back the noises of my own pleasure and instead became filled with the harsh slaps of our skin meeting again and again.
“Wouldn’t it feel so much better to just give in?” Xavier groans, his hand gripping the back of my neck so he could watch my face as I fought him. “Let me hear you, Mads.”
His voice was even huskier than usual, causing me to tighten around him as I shook my head the best I could. I didn’t trust myself to even open my mouth, the liquid heat pooling inside of me only expanding with my resistance.
Even after that first night with Caleb, I’ve never been fucked as hard as I am now, and I think it shows on my face as Xavier smirks, his head dipping down to take my nipple into his mouth.
My body was still high on the pain of his knife, and when his teeth grazed over me, I broke.
Tears spilt from my eyes as my mouth parted, my heart pounding wildly at the renewed sensations spreading through me.
I tried to push upwards to escape the growing knot of pleasure in my stomach, but every failed strain and struggle of mine encouraged me to give in. I knew we were both close as we moaned against each other, my hands giving up at pushing him away and instead weaving through his hair to pull him closer.
Xavier didn’t fight it as I brought his face up to mine, his forehead resting against me as I cried and panted and trembled.
The both of us were absolute messes, our guards completely down and vulnerable as I not only submitted to him, but he did the same for me. I gave in, and it was something you could only experience to understand just how liberating it was.
It felt like I had just gained control over the experiences where it had been stripped away from me all those years ago, and when I blinked my tear soaked eyes open, it was the man I loved staring right back at me.
It was the sight of Xavier’s eyes that pulled me over the edge, and it was his name on my tongue that did the same for him.
My body became wrapped up with his in every single way possible as his head nuzzled into my neck, shaking from both my release and everything else that has been eating away at me for the last decade of my life.
Somehow Xavier understood what I needed when seconds later my feet had been freed from the rope. I didn’t waste a second before turning over to straddle him in a sitting position.
I shivered as I felt his orgasm leak down my thighs and back to where we were still connected, but there was nothing sexual about the way I wrapped my hands around his neck and hugged him like I would never get the chance to again.
As annoying as it was, I sobbed against Xavier’s chest when I felt his two strong arms pulling me closer to him, wrapping around my back until we were a tangle of limbs.
He held me and didn’t say anything as I cried and cried in his embrace, everything about this leaving us stripped bare in the most perfect ways possible.
I sniffled at the feeling of wet hot tears streaming down my face, but when they got wiped away, I realized they weren’t just mine as I pulled back.
Xavier was crying too, and it wasn’t just a little bit either. His sadness matched mine as I moved to cup his face instead, resting my head against his while we broke apart together.
Nothing was pretty about the way we shattered in each other’s arms, and it wasn’t a date, but I didn’t care. Very little made sense about anything anymore, however there was one thing that did and it was us.
Xavier knew that I needed special toothpaste for my teeth, and that I refused to eat any kind of seafood. He knew why I was sheltered and kept me close anyways when nobody else wanted me. He kissed my fingers when I was bleeding and broken, and taught me how to love myself again when I wasn’t sure it was possible anymore.
Xavier was my always, and even if he doesn’t feel the same way, I refused to live in a world where he’s unaware of—
“Madelyn, there’s something I need to tell you.” He interrupts my thoughts quietly, his eyes dropping from mine as he gently lifts me off of him just so that he wasn’t inside of me anymore.
His tears never stopped, nor did my shaking, but we stayed connected to each other as I nodded silently in response.
Whatever it was, we could handle it together. If today proved anything, it was that.
Watching as Xavier’s eyes flicked back up to mine, I didn’t move as a single last tear fell, the droplet hitting my hand and breaking apart against my skin.
- End of Chapter 70 -
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