My eyes flutter open. I seem to have dozed off for a couple of hours. I stretch my arms and legs, wondering where Judah is.
I spot his shadowy figure through the curtains that hang down the immense windows. Wind blows them to the side, and the early morning sunlight seeps through. That’s where he went to answer his phone call last night.
Last night... Now, my heart plays with my emotions.
I walk out onto the balcony. Judah lounges in a cushioned chair, smoking peacefully. His tongue glides over his bottom lip. The moisture makes a shiny layer over it. His Adam’s apple moves up, when he’s ready for another hit. His piercing eyes look straight ahead. I stare at his open chest rise and fall along with his long breaths.
Dense smoke escapes his nostrils. His darkly tattoos expand every time his muscles budge. His solid abs create lines down to his waist, where the waistband of his joggers sit. My body knows how to yearn for his. I try to stop staring.
In my head, I imagine that he hasn’t slept for a minute. I pass my hands through my hair. He holds a serious expression. I can’t read his mind, but I’m scared nonetheless.
He knows that I’m standing here, yet he doesn’t look my way.
“Good morning,” I sigh.
He brings the cigarette to his lips for a last deathly drag. When he’s done, he tosses it into a corner to burn alone. I guess mornings aren’t his favourite things. I’m not sure what to do around him now. The last thing I want to do is generate something grave.
“Do you...” I ask, “Do you want me to stay? Or—”
“You don’t really have a choice,” he answers lowly, his brows creasing.
Then, his hand lifts for me to take it, to get close. I leisurely walk over to him. Judah makes me sit on his lap. My back leans into him, and he pulls me closer, pressing his palm onto my stomach. His hands rub up and down my thighs, consequently lifting the hem of my long shirt at the same time.
My core heats up. I feel his lips behind my ear. He brushes my hair off my shoulder, before planting soft kisses there. His hands cup my chest, giving it several squeezes. The whole bit gets me slightly dizzy. My eyes nearly drift shut.
“Judah...” I gasp.
I forget what I want to say. Judah suddenly raises my left leg with one hand, while the other sneaks below me. I take a sharp breath, feeling his intrusive fingers inch between my legs. My body is on fire, knowing what comes next. I don’t think I’m well prepared, though. I hug my shoulders.
His teeth start to bite down on my neck, slightly lifting the skin. His warm tongue makes a slow climb to the edge of my jaw. He continues to kiss and suck hard. My hip moves, but he only grips it back where he wants it.
His touch lands over my wet spot. My whole body trembles, overwhelmed.
“Just don’t be so rough,” I shudder a whisper.
Judah breathes a whirlwind on my shoulder, and lets his longest finger descend to my most sensitive part. My throat swallows hard to cope with the sensation.
When his skilled hand pushes further inside me, my hips can’t help but wriggle over his lap. He immediately growls softly in the back of his throat, feeling my wetness. He slips another finger in.
Judah whispers in my ear, “When you’re dripping—it’s because you want it rough, baby.”
My body clenches as soon as Judah put his fingers to work. He feeds off of my embarrassment of it all, pumping faster. My head falls back and my hands grip the armrest. My hips squirm with rising excitement. His fingers plunge deep, not holding back. My lungs are already panting for air.
“Do you like that?” he asks huskily in my ear, getting the pressure in my body to build.
I part my lips to give an answer, but I only moan a little bit louder.
The way his hands were moving was getting me ready to scream. The spasm forces my back to lift off of Judah’s torso and stretch straight up.
“Judah!” I gasp.
When I feel as though my body just can’t take anymore pleasure, a sopping wet warmth flows into Judah’s hand.
He smirks, like he’s satisfied. But I freak out. I don’t know what just happened—and I don’t know what my body just did.
I jump off Judah’s lap, feeling hot and bothered and so much more. I hiccup oxygen into my airways. The middle part of me is not the same. I don’t think my body will ever be the same. My shoulders shiver, as I dash towards the far away bathroom. I break through into the shower and pant heavily. My mind can’t think straight. My legs are still recovering.
It was a shock. I must be in shock.
The running water takes time to calm and cool my body down. I look between my legs and try to brush off... my excess. Heat rushes back into my head, feeling severely embarrassed.
God, why did he have to do that? I’m on the brink of fainting right here.
I lack physical strength to come out of the bathroom. I only wobble towards the bedroom. I try to focus on putting clothes on. Maybe I should sit down...
I sigh. I don’t have any clean clothes—and I’m not pulling off the dangerous move of walking around without underwear again.
My head pokes out the door. I see Judah walking over.
I clench my teeth, more embarrassed, “Why did you have to—”
“It’s called an orgasm,” he smirks really hard, “You’re supposed to enjoy it, not run off.”
“I wasn’t ready...” I gulp, giving him an taxing glare for working me up so fast.
Would it hurt to take his time? He knows I’ve never done these things.
He brushes my flushed cheeks and looks me over.
He lowers his voice, “Are you okay?”
I nod, “I’m fine. I just need some clothes... to wear.”
Judah clicks his tongue and looks elsewhere.
“Going out now isn’t the best idea.”
I stare at the ground, contemplating on just wearing another one of his t-shirts. I don’t want to give this guy more opportunities to get under me... or inside me...
Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. I blush again.
“Um,” I start.
Then, two knocks hit the door. I listen to Judah’s sigh and watch him travel towards the entrance. I groan to myself. We have visitors. I quickly file on a shirt and shorts. My hands try their best to roll, tug, and fold the extra large fabric onto my waist. Yet, my body is still pulsing.
I hear Judah’s voice speaking with another guy. There’s a lot of things happening behind the scenes. I draw up towards the door and look past the hall.
“Rick has already left the country.”
Judah sighs, “He’ll probably be back.”
“Should we tell boss what he tried to pull?”
Judah quickly glances behind his shoulder and land his dark eyes on me.
“No,” he answers, “Boss doesn’t need to know. Anything.”
I ignore them and wonder whether this condo has a laundry room. Since Judah is busy making perilous plans, I should get my clothes washed and dried in time. I never know when we’ll have to get up and drive someplace else.
Judah returns into the room. Then it hit me. Oh my God! School! Finals! I’m raw meat now! I need to get my life together. My hand smacks over my face.
“Let’s go,” he says, grabbing his jacket off the bed.
He doesn’t really wait for me to catch up to him. I tuck my belongings under my arm and race after Judah, staring at his tall back. My legs can barely walk straight.
Once we reach out behind the shaded lot, there is another car accompanied by two other guys dressed to kill... literally. Their bodies are covered with black leather jackets, like Judah.
I assume they’re to busy themselves with gang relations by looking at the guns hanging off their waists. I shiver a bit, as my mind wonders what’s so urgent all of a sudden.
Judah points to where they must meet. I only walk around the car towards the passenger seat and hop in quickly, before he has a chance to order me around.
Judah soon gets in and accelerates the car onto the highway.
“I need to get home,” I speak up.
He pretends to not hear me. I start getting angry, because he’s managed to distract me for so long. I have one request, and he goes on like it’s not important. Maybe I’m not important to him, after all.
“Judah!” I shout now.
“Your tone, sweet cheeks—I don’t like it,” Judah hisses.
“Take me home. Now,” I demand firmly.
He simply shifts from one lane to the other, completely ignoring me. I groan and sigh. I get that he’s got... things to do, but I don’t want to be around him.
“What’s going on that you can’t take me back home?”
Judah stares into his rear view mirror. In no time, I hear a darting machine gun go off. The neighboring car gets hit and veers off the road.
I clasp my hand over my mouth and lower my head for some sense of safety. But when I hear glass being shattered right behind me, I start screaming agitatedly. Judah turns the car, and the awful noise goes away.
I lift my head and watch him park the car. My eyes peak across the dashboard. We’re in some kind of scrap yard. There are other men in suits waiting there.
“What’s happening?” I ask, scared.
I know I won’t get a straight answer, so I rest my hands over my ears.
“Stay in the car,” Judah commands.
I watch him pull out his gun. He clutches it tightly in his hand. He pops the door open.
“Don’t go. Don’t go. Please...” I whisper, shaking.
I don’t want to stay by myself. I certainly don’t want to die. I hear car tires screech beside us. Judah then pushes the door shut. I’m terrified to the point where my head hurts.
I crouch down to the floor of the car and rub the frightful tears out my eyes.
“Did you talk with Antony?” someone from the other side asks.
“Not for long,” I hear Judah’s deep cavernous voice throw back, “I shot him in the neck.”
It’s quiet again, though I hear some footsteps.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” they say, “I know you were fond of... Jaxon.”
From the sound of it, they don’t seem sincere.
Judah replies, “He was just a kid.”
It’s silent again, and it’s harsh. I think of the night Judah broke down in my arms. I wonder if they’re referring to what had happened then.
Suddenly, a piercing gunshot goes off. Then it becomes a crossfire. I cry out, covering my head. I choke on air, as my mind thinks about the possibility of Judah getting a bullet to the heart. I beat my chest fiercely. I never dare to move from my hiding spot.
I regret it all, once the passenger door opens wide. My throat screams until it burns. Someone rapidly picks me up and hauls me into a different vehicle. I can’t tell who it is, because they all dress the same.
“Who are you?” I sob.
The guy drives us really fast.
“Buckle up,” he tells me.
“Who are you?!” I yell.
“Judah told me to get you home, if anything happened.”
I whip my head back to the yard, but it’s already miles away. I wasn’t able to see Judah. I don’t know where he’s gone. I can’t quite trust this person’s word—he could be lying. I gulp and sit back in the chair. It all happened so fast. I hate this. My throat coughs from crying.
My mind is a zoo within the 4 hours of driving on the extensive street. Nothing makes sense to me, when we finally pull up to my dorm.
I turn to the driver, and examine him. He has an old scar on his jaw, which thins out on his neck. It’s scary, but I stare.
“Where’s Judah?” I ask.
My voice has gotten frail. The driver doesn’t turn the key to cut the engine. Instead, he fixes the rear-view a couple of times.
“Don’t worry about it,” he answers, “Try to stay unnoticed, if you want to stay alive.”
Unnoticed. That’s my forte. I nearly laugh, shaking my head. This is a sick, twisted joke. I feel my frantic madness upswing into my bones.
My legs jump me out the car, and I race into the dorm without looking back. Everyone wants to dictate how I must live my life. I’m ready for this nightmare to end.
I shut my door, breathing cripplingly. Am I supposed to wait here forever? Ugh.
All I want to do is forget about him. I smack the palm of my hands against my temples. Forget him. Forget him! Just forget everything.
He can do nothing for you, Rosalie. All he can do is lie to you. He can only leave you in the dark. So don’t think about him.
“But why does it hurt so much when... he’s not here?” I murmur to myself.
I start to sob, feeling like my whole being is about to be crushed. Tears run down my face uncontrollably. My hand presses and scratches into my chest, where my heart seems to be breaking to pieces.
“Woah!” I sing.
I stand with some of the sorority girls, spending another wild night in the club. My hand lifts my shot glass, and I watch it get filled up with alcohol. I swig it down, before it spills. My head bobs with the beat of the next song.
“Let’s get on the dance floor, Rosalie!” Cecilia pulls me from the crowded bar.
Without a care in the world, I follow her. We dance, until she whispers in my ear.
“Okay, that guy over there...” she points, giggling, “He’s been watching you since we got here.”
I roll my eyes, “I don’t care about guys. I just want a have a good time.”
“I’m sure he can show you a good time,” she adds, as she keeps her stare over my shoulder.
My neck strains to look at what the fuss is about. It’s hard to fully see him in the dim club, but he has a good build. Cecilia pokes me to go over there.
“I’m going to need another drink, if you want me to go there,” I glare at her.
I watch her back up a bit, still giddy.
“I don’t think he wants you to go anywhere,” she says.
I frown, and turn back around. I’m only met with the stalk-eye guy. He stands closely behind me. I look into his blue eyes. The effects of what I’ve been drinking all this time are starting to take its toll.
“I’m not interested,” I sigh.
“But I am,” he smirks flirtatiously, “Dance with me.”
In my peripheral, I see the pair of girls throwing me encouraging hand signs to take the chance. My eyes flutter slowly back to his lustful gaze.
“One dance,” I lift a finger.
He takes it, kisses my hand, and draws me closer.
“That’s all I’ll need, gorgeous.”
I blush at the word. Gorgeous? He can’t be serious. Yet, I let out a short giggle.
His hands set onto my sides. The feeling tickles me. I try to be more confident by placing my arms around his neck. I move my body against his, dancing in the motion.
Suddenly, he moves his hands to my chest. I jerk back reflexively.
“What the heck?” I laugh nervously.
“Just testing before I buy,” he jokes.
I frown, letting go.
“Ugh,” I groan in disgust, “Dance is done.”
But he pulls me back and pesters, “Oh, come on. Don’t be like that.”
He tries to slobber a kiss on me, but I turn my head. I try to push him away, but he manages to kiss me down my neck. This isn’t going the way it should. I kick my knee into his groin with all my strength—but being drunk doesn’t make me all that strong.
He grabs between his legs and growls in pain. He looks up at me shortly after, ready to do me damage. Just as he takes a step towards me, something... or someone gets in the middle.
Broad back, leather jacket, tattooed neck, tousled hair...
I know exactly who that someone is.
I gasp, clasping my hands to my mouth. Judah?
He beats a hard punch into stalk-eye guy’s face. One punch isn’t enough, because Judah beats him until blood gushes from his eyes, nose, and mouth.
People around us start shrieking. When stalk-eye guys arms were hanging down instead of defending himself, I figured he was unconscious.
“Stop!” I shout, trying to pull Judah’s arms. “Stop it! You’ll kill him!”
He doesn’t listen. I tug and pull the sleeve of his jacket. People start backing away. I don’t want security to appear. I need to get us out of here, and fast. I put myself in front of him.
“Judah!” I try again to gain his attention, “Let’s go home!”
He exhales and stares at me with an angry expression. He drops the guy’s collar. His body drops to the ground. I’m too scared to know if he’s breathing or not, so I don’t bother to look. Some folks rush to his side, shaking him to wake up.
Judah’s deep severe voice drills my ears
“You are coming with me,” he snarls every syllable.
I only nod, out of desperation. He grabs my wrist and drags me roughly through the exit. My heart races. I hate being this scared, because I don’t know what he’s going to do next.
I don’t know when I’ll be out of danger.