Was I angry? Maybe.
Do I feel like God could have taken time out of their day to grant me this one mercy? Yes.
Can I do anything about it? No.
I remember when I was younger, my mom would tell me about her beautiful guardian angel that visited on her 17th birthday. She would say that her guardian angel was the most flawless girl she had ever seen and radiated light. That was before my father left, before my dearest mother decided that alcohol was her oxygen, when we were a happy family. But now, she barely acknowledged I was alive, much less celebrated my birthday. I had always hated my birthdays but for some reason, I decided to think that my 17th birthday would be different. It's the same disappointment it always was, however, my mom did give me the gift of reminding me that I was the reason dad left. Like I needed a reminder.
My phone rang in my ear as I groggily sat up. Ugh, Stephanie. How to describe her? Stephanie is beautiful almost looking like a goddess but her incessant need to kiss my ass just paints her as an annoying bitch. I let out a sigh as I swiped right.
"Hey girl" her voice rang in my ear.
"Stephanie. Hey." I replied with a tone that obviously indicated that I didn't want to talk to her.
"So basically, I have huge news to tell you. Randy asked me out." Stephanie exclaimed
"That's great but what does it have to do with me." I could hear the disdain in my voice
"Oh um, I was just going to ask if you wanted to come to my house to help me get ready. Please I swear I won't bother you after this."
"Fine. Text me your address." I rolled my eyes
"Actually, wait of course you aren't kidding. Come around 5." She couldn't mask the excitement in her voice. I hung up without another word.
I looked down at my clothes. A plain crop tank would be fine, I slipped on some baggy ripped jeans and an oversized black jacket. After finishing off with a thick layer of winged eyeliner, I grabbed my wallet and swapped my id for a fake one. If I was going to survive two hours of Stephanie wondering what dress she was going to wear, I needed a cigarette and a drink. I'm not an alcoholic, not like my mother at least. I just drink when I have a craving for it. But cigarettes hold a special place in my heart, the first time you take a puff, you think it's nothing special. I was even repulsed by it. Then I took a second puff, the feeling of it was intoxicating. I tried my first cigarette at 14 and I'm 17 going strong. I would never quit. I've had years to do so but why would I stop doing something that brings me joy in this otherwise drab world.
--at the store--
I scanned the alcohol section until I finally found what I needed, I grabbed a few bottles of vodka and asked the cashier for three packs of cigarettes. I dug into my wallet to find my 'id' and handed it to him looking straight into his disbelieving eyes. He wanted to say something but obviously didn't. Good choice. I threw a few tens onto the counter and headed into the car park. I lit up my cigarette as I heard my phone ring. Stephanie again ugh.
"Hi dear, its Stephanie's mom." Huh. Why is Stephanie's mom calling me?
"Hi." I replied a little dumb founded.
"Stephanie told me you were coming over," Her voice cracked "She's been in an accident, she wanted me to tell you not to come." Wait so I don't have to go, I cracked a smile. I should feel bad but I'm probably gonna end up in hell anyway so fuck it. As she continued blabbing about her dear daughter Stephanie which I had tuned out at this point, I walked to the corner of the car park and dropped down, sitting on the floor. The corner was my place, if I ever needed to be alone I would come here. It's dark, surprisingly secluded and for some reason, its considered a taboo. I think its perfect.
Not being able to take her rambles I cut her off by saying "Oh okay, hope she feels better soon. Bye" I tried to keep the happiness from my voice, but I had the feeling that it didn't work. I brought the phone away from my ear and hung up. I looked into the bag of contraband, took out two bottles of vodka and another cigarette. I know I sound like an alcoholic but in my defense these were the mini vodka bottles, each bottle was around the same amount as a shot. I downed a bottle of vodka and lit up the cigarette as I sat looking at nothing in particular.
After an hour and finishing almost half a pack of cigarettes, I forced myself to make my way back home.
--back at home--
I shoved my door open as I caught a glimpse of the red skinned person lazing on my bed.
"Who the fuck are you" I screamed. Shit am I imagining her? She rolled her pitch black eyes at me. "No you aren't imagining me" my eyes widened. Shit did I say that out loud?
"No you didn't say that out loud. I can hear your thoughts."
Wait is it the vodka but is she hot? Fuck, she can hear my thoughts. Wait no she cant, this is probably just a prank.
"I forgot about mortals incessant need to annoy the fuck out of me. No its not the vodka, yes I am hot. I can hear your thoughts and no its not a prank. Now thats out of the way, do you know who I am?" I stared at her blankly "Of course you don't. You obviously can't talk so if you want me to tell you who I am, nod."
I nodded, still unable to form words. My head was still lightly buzzing from the vodka but I ignored it. "Adria, do you know what your name means" I frowned, confused.
"Am I supposed to" I sputtered, still clearly flabbergasted.
" Your name, Adria means darkness. Your 17 today right? That means it's guardian angel day, except people with darkness don't get guardian angels, they get guardian demons." wait what? "It's quite simple actually" she spoke when she saw my confused face. "Essentially when you die, you will become a demon. It's actually a great honor, there's only 2 every millennium. Anyway, so until you die, I am your guardian demon."
"So your saying that the reason that I will become a demon is because my shit for brains mother chose a name that means darkness. How am I supposed to believe any of this bullshit anyway." She scoffed, her eyes showed the unspoken words. Are you really that dumb? I ignored, feeling my fists clench and unclench while my jaw ticked. The demon looked unfazed.
"First dont you think its convenient that Stephanie accidentally got into a car crash at the same time you were dreading going to her house. Let me tell you, it was no coincidence but you must have figured that out by now." She admits proudly "second, what was your reaction to Stephanie's crash." My lips were clamped together. "That's fine, I'll tell you myself. You didn't care. You didn't even care to ask if Stephanie is alive or dead because you don't give a shit. Actually, I remember you feeling a twinge of happiness. The darkness in you is overpowering the goodness and its a delight to see. You'll be a demon soon and when that happens, you will understand." I stayed quiet as it hit me.
"Whats the catch?" I asked putting as much confidence I could muster into my voice.
"I knew you were a smart one. Since you don't sound like a stuttering idiot anymore I'll answer your question" A sly smirk creeps up her face. "You have a year left to live, on your 18th birthday, you will die and be brought to hell to become a demon." A year, I repeated to myself. I guess thats not horrible, a year left until I can escape earth into the comforting blanket of hell. No sarcasm intended. "I need to go check on hell, i'll be back in a few weeks."
"Bye" was all I replied. I blinked and she was gone.
It was like she had never set foot here.
But she had.
And I have 364 days to live.