“Then tell me, why? Why did you break my heart?” I cried pushing him away from me.
“I did what I did to protect you, Ira-
“Akira, my name is Akira.” I fumed at him.
His jaw clenched, “Akira I had to protect you, which is why I had to push you away.”
“Oh my god you can just say you didn’t feel the same way, or that you just wanted to have some fun, please don’t try and spare my feelings but do not lie to me.” I derisively said.
“FUCKING HELL!” He punched the wall.
I jumped as I looked at his fist which was turning red,
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I took his fist in my hand assessing his hand for any injury.
His body stilled at my touch and so did mine, I acted by instinct to reach and check if he was alright. My eyes closed as he held my wrist when I tried pulling back.
“Just listen to me, if you are giving me a chance to explain myself than atleast do it honestly and fairly.” He brushed his other hand against my cheek.
“Why.. why should I trust you?” I whispered
He gulped, “I’m asking you to trust me because I love you”
I stilled my eyes snapping to his.
“Please just give me a chance, Ira. Just one chance” he said as our breath mingled at our close proximity.
“I’m scared, Pri-
“Vic, call me vic, baby.” He whispered hoarsely
I whimpered as my tears dripped down my eyes.
I closed my eyes as he pressed our foreheads together.
“I’m scared, Victor” I whispered.
I could feel his disappointment, but I couldn’t forget how he had insulted me so easily. I couldn’t just start calling him Vic again as if nothing’s changed when in reality everything had.
Calling him Victor, without his title is a big deal in itself for me.
I opened my eyes, I gulped when I saw his eyes watered.
I tentatively wrapped my arm around his neck as his hold on my waist tightened,
“Please. I need you to understand why I can’t just run back into your arms as if nothing happened. I can’t just start calling you... I need you to give me some time while I.. I process this development.”
He had to know why I did it. He had seen the way I was when I was growing up, he knew that my self respect was the most important thing to me, it was drilled into me by my mother since I was a little kid. Growing up I wasn’t a royal blood or I didn’t have a lot of gems or jewels with me but I prided myself with my self respect. My mother had taught me that it was the one thing no one could take away from you, it was all in your hands. Your self respect, you need to protect it, which also means keeping distance from people who disrespect you, Vic did not just push me away as he put it, he shattered my self confidence and he made me feel worthless. He is the reason behind the way I am now. Defensive and built with walls, taught not to trust or rely on people easily.
He nodded looking regretful, but determined.
“I do, I understand” he said quietly.