I'm Not Letting Her Go

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He's Here


For the rest of the day, everyone is avoiding the subject at hand. No one is talking to anyone else. Which is fine by me, I enjoy the solitude. What still has me puzzled is Declan isn’t in any of the afternoon classes. Once study hall hits, I make my way back to the library. The place I feel more at ease in, being surrounded by books helps me in some way I cannot explain, and not to mention the quiet of the room is nice.

Of course, once I walk in and see who is sitting at my table, I feel both relieved and annoyed. It’s an odd combination. Making a show of rolling my eyes, I walk to my usual table in the back, I place down my bookbag on the floor, and pull out the chair to sit. He hasn’t said a word to me, he’s just looking at me. So, I pull out my latest book, and read.

Feeling like he’ll talk with me when he’s ready, I give him the time he needs to collect his thoughts. If his face told me anything when I walked in here, it’s that he has a something to say. I just don’t think he’s ready to say it, or he doesn’t really know how he wants to put it into words.

The minutes tick by, and still, he says nothing. Looking up from my book I see he is still just looking at me. Staring into his eyes, I can see he is feeling so many emotions in this moment. Deciding I’m overstepping I go to look down and return to reading my book, but he snatches it out from beneath my hand on the table. He really is fast when he wants to be.

I look up at him, and go to open my mouth, to tell him off, but the look on his face has me shutting it. “You want to be my friend?” He asks.

My brows furrow in confusion. Of course, I want to be his friend. Isn’t that what I told him earlier. But before I say my thoughts out loud, he’s moving his body close to mine over top the table. “You have no idea who I am, or what I am capable of. Believe me if you knew you wouldn’t want anything to do with me.” He says in a deathly quiet voice.

I ponder his words for a moment, just staring into his eyes. They are so beautiful, and I know he’s trying to scare me away with his words. Because when I look into his eyes, I can see his soul. “That’s what being a friend is. You learn who that person is as time goes on.” I tell him truthfully.

He laughs, not a happy sound at all. “Baby girl, if you take the time to get to know me you won’t like what you find. You’ll decide I’m no good and walk away from me. I have spent my life making sure I don’t put myself in that kind of situation.”

“Well, you’ll never know unless you try right?” I raise my eyebrow up, challenging him with one look. Daring him to walk away from this opportunity I’m presenting him. Telling him to be a coward if that is what he wishes. To walk away from me for good.

He studies my face for a moment, before giving a small nod with his head. “Fine, lets go then.” He stands up with my book in his hand, bends down and grabs my book bag off the floor, and takes a step towards the library door, before I can even comprehend what is happening.

“Wait.” I whisper shout at him while standing from my seat at the table. He doesn’t, he just continues walking towards the door.

“Hey,” I grab his arm and once my hand contacts him it feels like I stuck my finger into an electrical socket. He must feel it too, he stops dead in his tracks with his eyes closed. He’s breathing hard, like he’s trying to calm himself down.

When he opens his eyes, he looks at me, and I swear something happened with his eyes, but one blink and they are back to his normal blue. What the hell was that? I think to myself. “Cannot wait, we need to go. I have to show you something.” He says as he looks at me.

His eyes are begging me. Begging me what I don’t know. This entire interaction is weird. “But we still have a half hour of school.” I tell him as I look around the room.

There are some students over by the bookshelves, some on the computers, and others at the tables doing schoolwork. My eyes cut to the librarian, and she has her sights on us. He follows my line of vision, smirks at the librarian, who blushes profusely, and turns back to me. Giving me his full attention.

“It’ll be fine. I can leave whenever I want to. Since you’re leaving with me, they won’t say a word.” He says like it’s just a normal everyday occurrence.

“What about my gram. She usually picks me up from school. She’ll be waiting for me out front.” I tell him with my hand on my hip.

He gives me that devilish smile of his I’ve grown to love so much. “You don’t have a cell phone?”

“No, I lost it in the…” I freeze mid-sentence. Breaking eye contact with him I look anywhere but at him.

He places his hand below my chin and turns my face so I’m looking at him. “In the?”

“Nothing.” It comes out in barely a whisper.

He studies me with those all-knowing eyes of his. “I think we are going to have a long discussion about both our secrets. Today.” He says with finality.

He drops my chin and starts walking again. I watch him for a moment in stunned silence. What secrets does he have? And could I really tell him about why I had to move here? How I lost my mother, live with my gram, and barely know my father?

He pauses once he gets to the door, he nods for me to come with him. When I don’t move one step, he shakes his head with a smile on his lips. “You can use my phone to call her and let her know I’ll be bringing you home.” At his words, I wake up from my stupor and meet him by the door.

“Okay.” One word. That’s all it takes for a true, heart melting smile to fall on his lips.

“I knew you’d see it my way.” He says with laughter in his voice.

“Yeah, well I did say I want to be your friend. The first part of that is trusting one another. And it’s true we need to get to know one another more.” I smile at him as he holds the door open for me.

He takes my hand and holds it the entire walk to his car. He opens the passenger side door open for me. “Who knew you could be such a gentleman.” I say as I take the seat.

I hear him laugh as he closes the door and makes his way to the driver side. Once the car is started, he looks over at me, with mischief in his eyes. “Don’t tell anyone. You’ll ruin my reputation of being an asshole.” He winks at me, and we pull out of the parking lot. Making our way to some unknown place, so we can talk and get to know one another.

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