It has been 15 years since we have been together.
15 Years, 1 House, 2 Kids, I should feel happy.
As I am standing by the doorway of our bedroom, staring at you, you don’t even notice me. Laid down in our bed, looking and laughing at some random video online on your tablet.
Moving towards the closet to change you don’t even look at me.
15 years, the same routine over and over again. We have become so used to each other we don’t even try or do anything new anymore.
This feeling of loneliness and sadness succumbs me more and more like a pit on the stomach that can’t seem to go away.
Laying down next to you, your turn off your tablet, pull the covers and turn to the opposite said and wait for me to switch off the light, like you do, every single night. As I reach it a thought comes to mind:
“How I wish I could disconnect all of these feelings like turning off this light switch”.
“I miss you!”, the words spill of my mouth without even realizing. My heart starts beating rapidly while my hands start shaking in anticipation of your replay. Our backs are facing each other, I can’t seem to move.
The seconds feel like hours, you don’t answer. Taking a deep breath, I finally sit up. As I approach you to see your face, the loneliness and sadness strike again. You’re already sleeping, so profoundly, without a care in the world.
Staring at the ceiling for a few minutes I shift and turn the light switch off, like I do, every single night, in the last 15 years.
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