I thrum my hand repeatedly on the streams of my laptop's keyboard taking large gulps of my scotch as my work wanders away from me. My mind thinking about that one person who's been embezzling my mind away for the last eight months. An infatuation that has overstayed its visit. They've been imprinted in my mind like a notable canvas. I stroke my temple and shake the images of them out of my head, I haven't stopped thinking about them the day stepped foot into the German grounds a few days ago. The restrainment that I've maintained for the last two weeks disappeared and the sickness they bring out in me escaped. An illness that runs deep inside of me, something I gravely try to subdue because of its unnatural behaviour. Something no human should even think about doing to one another. My work wanders away from me again as my mind refocuses on the ringing of my cell.
" Hello, bràthair "
" a 'coinneachadh ann am bràthair trì uairean a thìde, na dìochuimhnich " His tone was clear and rough.
- Meeting in three hours don't forget -
The only reason why I oblige on coming back to here, the only excuse I can have to descry their beauty in person. I stare at the remote across the table, the little button on the right that has access to a more digital formation of them.
" ciamar a b 'urrainn dhomh I ? a 'faicinn gun do sgèith mi a-null an seo air a shon "
- How could I? seeing I flew over here for it-
I keep thrumming my hand repeatedly on the keyboard, my eyes still espial the remote. I haven't been back to Germany ever since I last encountered the incident that escalated my infatuation into a fixation that I can't shake off.
"Cha tuirt duine gluasad dhan Danmhairg. A-nis a bheil thu air na sgrìobhainnean agam a chrìochnachadh airson a 'chlub no far a bheil thu ro thrang fhathast a' togail dhealbhan den rud beag cluiche agad?" I can sense grin his face from across the phone.
- No one said to abruptly move to Denmark. Now have you finished my documents for the club or where you are too busy still taking photographs of your play item? -
" Cùm sùil air an tòn agad. Bràthair beag, cha bhith mi a 'gabhail eas-urram gu aotrom " I snarl
- Keep an eye on your tone little brother, I do not take disrespect lightly -
He goes quiet and the roughness that was once in his voice dilutes
" Mo leisgeul"
- My apologies -
I reverse the conversation back to his inquiry and we exchange a few words about business. My brother's club went into a disagreement with a client and he's doesn't know how to handle situations like this. Something Alasadiar lacks is compromisation it's either his way or his way a trait I now wish he inherited never from me and our brothers.
" Tha gnìomhachas eile agad cuideachd airson a fhrithealadh, mar sin is dòcha gum feum thu do thuras a leudachadh "
-Also you have other business to attend to, so you might have to extend your stay-
" Dè an seòrsa gnìomhachas? " I don't trust myself to stay a couple of days if they're constantly on my mind.
-What kind of business?-
" Is fheàrr a bhith air a dheasbad gu pearsanta "
- It's best to discuss it in person-
" An e sin a h-uile bràthair? "
- Is that all brother?-
There's a prolonged silence before he answers
"Chan eil. Mar sin innis dhomh bràthair, dè cho fada 's a tha e air a bhith, ochd mìosan''
- No, now tell me brother how long has it been huh, eight months?-
He's prying I can tell because that's what he does best. He makes the pivotal queries seem inferior, so you'll think there's no harm in telling him. That's why he runs the most elite BDSM club in Germany, he makes the people feel loved and welcomed by him. It's all a ruse of course to scour their customers' money but that's how he does business.
" bràthair beannachd" I chuckle
Cutting the call knowing that's all he'll ever get out of me when it comes to them. I haven't even figured it out properly myself because even with the visual view I see them from every day I still picture illustrating their skin, mind and soul with my blade. Getting up from my seat with my hand wrapped around the remote and thumb pressed lightly on the button that'll lead to the person who captured my gaze for all the wrong reasons and making my infatuation lose its true meaning every day. I hear my phone ring again but I ignore it, work can wait, it's been doing for the last eight months because if they're on my mind I can never focus on a single thing. Standing in front of my plasma screen television I turn it on and after programming it to a certain network and entering my passcode there they were.
The woman whose elegance of beauty is slowly uncovering the sadistic illness in me that over the years I've tried so hard to atomise. Right now looking at her from this angle makes me want to rip that whisper white cardigan off her and place her on my spanking bench to start inflicting pain on her beautiful cinnamon toned back. I know it's wrong to think about but the feeling I get when I think of hearing her malicious screams as I bring suffrage to her beautifully defined body is euphoric.
I sit and lay back comfortably on my beige couch and study every inch of her and see if anything changed about her in the last two weeks I haven't watched her but nothing. Her beautiful jet black curls still bounce in her face and as she moves them aside it gives me a full view to see her alluring pecan coloured eyes that have a hint of sadness glisten around the rim. I can feel my pupils dilate whenever I gaze at her it's like I've mastered a PHD in her, memorising her movements, aura and body language. Like how she sits there on the bench of her kitchen island every day to drink her favourite rose wine, Rose D'Amelie.
The surveillance cameras I had installed everywhere around her apartment wasn't enough now. I want more, I want to see her more physical now. I want to see how her cinnamon tone skin glows under the radiating sun when she goes onto her balcony every Saturday for her morning cholecalciferol. Pouring myself another scotch I sit back to enjoy her company thinking of the day I'll finally have her in my captive, I never thought of taking her but this distance that I've from her for two weeks has only made me want her more than I could ever imagine.