Finally, things were exactly as they should be.
The love of my life was back in my arms. My world was complete.
Could the night be any more perfect?
“I missed you,” I told her for the thousandth time.
“I missed you more,” she said, smiling up at me. “Can’t you tell by the way I can’t keep my hands to myself you?”
“You’re not going to hear any complaining from me.” I leaned down; kissing the soft part of her neck that pulsed with excitement.
“Before we get too excited…” She withdrew her face from my chest and looked up at me her silver-blue eyes filled with concern or was it uncertainty.
“What is it?” Something told me I wasn’t going to like this. Then she dropped the bomb that shook me right to the core and I knew that this would be the one thing that would ultimately destroy us.
The night was going great, well, at least it was until she spoilt what could have been a perfect reconciliation. I still couldn’t believe my ears, I was suffering from a serious case of mental rejection. There was no way she just suggested…
“You want us to see other people?!”
She had rendered me stupefied or otherwise rendered incapable of a suitable response to her madness.
“Don’t look so shocked honeycomb,” she murmured soothingly. “It’s the best solution for now. We both have our music careers and college that will take up most of our time and we’ll be travelling a lot. This is the only arrangement that can work-”
“No.” There were certain things I would never do and this was one of them.
“Corbyn, please try and be reasonable?”
“Reasonable?!” I shot back with alacrity. “What you’re suggesting is not only insulting but insane!”
“We can just take it one day at a time and see how it goes-”
“I said no!” I exploded, my patience at its limit. “I will never accept that Blue. Not after everything we’ve been through-how can you even think that I would go along with this?!”
“Please don’t give up on us. I just need time to figure things out,” she pressed. “Don’t give up on me-I still want you in my life, Corbyn-”
“As do I, but not like this, baby…” My temper abandoned me then, leaving nothing but weakness and pain. “It’s either I have all of you or nothing at all. I won’t have it any other way.”
“I think you living with Kyle and Jordan has made you wish for what they have-wish for something you can’t have,” she said. “It’s not like that for everyone. Don’t you know that?”
“On the contrary,” I answered in a somber voice. “Living with them has only proven to me that I can have it all. Most importantly, they’ve shown me I can be with my soul mate and be happy. If they can have that so can we cookie. But you’ve become so cynical, I can’t understand it…”
“I’ve been through so much with my mom getting released and then the whole custody battle trying to get my son back,” she sighed heavily. “Then my music career just took off and…I need to focus on myself for a change.”
“And where do I fit it?”
“Right here,” she said, placing a hand over her heart.
“Me and how many other guys Laura-Jane?”
“Corbyn, don’t make this any harder than it is.”
“I’m making it harder?!” I exclaimed. “Are we permitted to have sex with these other people? Or do I need to run it by you first?”
“If you want to but it’s not necessary-look I don’t know!”
I wasn’t sure which baffled me more: that she just asked me to be in an open-relationship with her or that she was trying to talk me into it. If she really knew me, I mean like really, really knew me, then she wouldn’t have dared to think let alone present such a-what did she take me for.
“I just got you back, or I thought I did and now when you say-”
“So where do we go from here?” her voice echoed across the school field.
Around us, the sky was blue-black, and the only things I could make out clearly were the reflection of the floodlights. The night was dark and damp, matching my mood. It was silent aside from her choked gasps that tore at my heart. We were still sitting in the same high school bleachers where we used to hangout when we first met. Now, we were here for a totally different reason.
I drew a few shaky breaths to calm myself and then touched her face. “We walk away.”
Her arresting blue eyes brimmed with tears, and I ducked my head to hide mine from her. I needed to be strong. I couldn’t give in. This was the best decision for both of us.
“Corbyn!” she cried frantically as I rose to my feet. “Please don’t…” she implored, clinging onto my jacket. “I can’t-do this again. Please?!” Her tearful plea almost weakened my stance.
I gazed down into her eyes and my voice was overcome with emotion. “I can’t be with you if you’re not ready to give this relationship your all. Not this time Laura-Jane.” I hunched my shoulders and shoved my hands deep into the pockets of my blazer. “This just shows me that you don’t love me at all.”
“But I do love you!” she cried, lacing her fingers through mine. “More than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life.”
“And yet it’s not enough, is it Blue?” I smiled ruefully and cupped her face, wiping a tear with the pad of my thumb. “You’re still not ready to settle down. You’re still insisting that we see other people and sleep with them…” I sighed and stepped back. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this. I’d rather let you go. You are free to date or do whoever you want. Just know that it won’t be me.”
“Coleman!” Justin’s voice hollered, providing the escape I so desperately sought. “You’re up!”
“Be right there!” I shouted back, then turned to her. “I’ve got to go. I have to perform and close off the night.”
“Can we talk about this later then?” she swept her hair back off her shoulders. She’d gone from devastated to hopeful. “Please?”
“No.” I hardened myself to her distraught expression and looked her dead in the eye, not sure if I was about to do the right thing or not. “I’m done Laura-Jane. It’s over.”
Choking down tears I turned and climbed down the stairs. There was no going back this time.