I woke up with a huge headache, slowly i opened my eyes and was blinded by the sun light coming from the windows. I sat on the edge of the bed and put my head in my hands.
"Good you're awake, take this and go take a shower." Saulo says and gave me two pills with a glass of water. I didn't say anything i took the medicine and made my way to the bathroom.
I left the water running while i took of the extra large shirt i was using and my underwear. Getting inside the shower i let the water wash away the hangover i had, what happened last night came rushing to my mind.
Finding my family and running away.
All the insecurities.
Going out last night.
Shots and dancing.
Then a guy came to me and he kissed me, I didn't want that.
And then Saulo beating the guy and taking me outside.
I remember throwing up and passing out but before that the words Saulo said.
Maybe he was drunk?
I finished my shower, wrapped a towel around my body and got out of the bathroom.
"I have to go, i have to talk to my family." I said getting some clothes to wear.
"First we talk." He said deadly serious.
"About?" I asked. Maybe he's talking about me passing out.
"Do you remember what happened last night?"
"Do you want me to remember? Because yes Saulo I remember and don't worry i know you were probably drunk too and maybe-"
"Stop Nortia. I wasn't drunk and i said what i said because is true. I love you." He said and started walking to me.
"What? How do you know? You always said you don't do felling and don't even know how to do that, so-" i was rambling, he was making me nervous and nobody makes me nervous.
"I know what i said but i was wrong, i really was. It took me some time to finally realize but i really like you more than a friend and i want to do more than fuck with you."
"I uh-. I don't know what to think Saulo this is complicated to me. I know i like you and I can't be without you, is that love? You know how i am with all this shit. It's so confusing and I don't want to get hurt." I said the last words in a whisper.
"I rather die than to hurt you Nortia, i will let you think about this and we'll talk soon alright?"
"Aren't you mad at me?"
"Of course not, I understand, i know how this shit can mess with your head, just promise you'll think about your feelings and talk with me, I won't judge."
"I promise." I said. The least i can do is try. Right?
"Get ready, I'll wait downstairs and we'll get breakfast and go to the Rossi's all together." He kissed my forhead and got out of the room.
Alright Nortia focus. Go to your family and try to explain your act of cowardice and who knows maybe you can talk about this with Isabella, isn't that what moms are for?
I got ready in one of my all black outfits, my hair in a high ponytail, no makeup today. I put my sunglasses on and made my way downstairs. All of them were waiting for me and the girls were complaining about drinking, that they never would do it again. We got to a tiny coffee shop and ate something, my stomach was a little sore so i just ate a toast and drank tea. When we all finished we went to the car, yes today i was going in a car, because my head still hurts.
We got to their house in twenty minutes and now once again here i am at their door. I rang the bell and not long after Isabella opened the door, she had a tired look, dark bags under her eyes. We all got in and everyone was waiting for us. I'm going to apologize straight away or else this can get awkward. More than already is.
"So i wanted to apologize for my behavior yesterday, it was just a lot to take in and i needed some time." Nobody said anything. Maybe I already fucked everything with them. I hope my apologies are enough I'm not used to this.
"It's alright we get it, we waited seventeen years for you, we could take another day." Vincenzo said.
"I promise I won't run again."
"Good now come we want to know more about you." Isabella said.
"Alright what do you want to know?"
"How was your life?"
She asked, so i told them everything, since the poor conditions when i was little to where i meet the others, how we became so close and how we turn our small gang into a mafia. I may or may not have left some details out, for example I didn't told them the details about Saulo's life, it's not my story to tell. And they talked about the different ways they tried to find me.
"So what happens now?" I asked.
"Whatever you want we would love that you could come live with us but also we know you have your life so talk to your friends and we will be here to whatever you decide." Dante said.
"We finally have our sorellina [baby sister]." Alexi said.
"I can't wait for you to meet your cousins, Emilia and Luca." Isabella said.
Before i could say anything else, Isabella got up and pulled me for a hug but this time i hugged back and soon enough the other were hugged us too.
"Come on let's talk about boys, i missed a lot i want to know it all." Isabella said pulling up the stairs.
"Wait, Lara, Mila come." I said. And we all of the girls went to a room. We all sat on the bed.
"You know for years i was the only woman in this house, your aunt Emilia lived here but then she got married and when your brothers took over the Mafia, she and your uncle Luca wanted to travel the world, so i was alone." Isabella said sadly.
"Well now you can call me whenever you want." I said smiling.
"Yes, I'm so glad your back, my baby. It still feels so unreal. So tell me are you a virgin?" The other two started laughing.
"Straight the point i see." I said sarcastically.
"You're just like her."
"True." Mila and Lara said.
"No, I'm not. None of us are." I said truthfully and the others nodded.
"Theo is your boyfriend right?" Isabella askes Lara.
"No, no he's mine." Mila said while laughing.
"And Saulo is your boyfriend?" She asked to me.
"No." I said and I felt my cheeks heating. What the fuck?
"No? I see the way you look at each other." She said.
"They don't do fellings." Lara said rolling her eyes."
"It's not that, i just don't know how to. He's doing fellings now."
"What do you mean?" They all asked.
"Well he kinda said that he loves me." I said with my head down.
"Oh my god." Mila said extremely loud.
"And you?" Isab-mom said.
"I don't know."
"How did you know you loved Dante or you Mila how did you know how you felt about Theo?" The first one to answer was mom.
"When i first met your father he was so hot, he still is-"
"No I don't need to hear that, get to the point." I said and she chuckled.
"When i first met hi it was in a job interview, i came to his house to be Lorenzo nanny. He was so serious. I always tried to be professional but he wanted to go out with me, oh my god I remember one day i was in the gym and i was running with my headphones and he came from behind and put his hand on my shoulder, i turned around so fast and punched him in the face." We all laughed at that.
"What did he do?"
"After i punched him i proposed for us to run against each other, if he wan i had to go dinner with him, i was hesitant but he said it was a way to apologize for is bruised jaw."
"And if you wan?" I asked.
"Well if i wan he would own me, to have a mafia leader owning you it's a big thing, we ran and i wan. But three weeks later he asked me again and this time i said yes. We had a really lovely night the conversation never stopped and i got to know another side of him not just the mafia leader, I've already had seen a softer side when he was with Enzo but with me it felt different. We ended the night in the best way." She said wiggling her eyebrows.
"Eww. But do you know when you first started to love him? How do you know? And if i get hurt?"
"Look baby firstly you'll get hurt if not with him with other person, it's inevitable but you have to have faith and be strong. As how i knew i just knew as the time passed he turned to be a really important person to me, i would fall asleep thinking about him and when i woke up he was my firt thought, I couldn't wait to be in his presence or talk to him. I can't really explain it's just- i think when you know you know."
"Your mother is right Nortia, it's the same with me and Theo i can't be apart from him for too long, when i think about him i get this warm felling inside me, he still gives me butterflies and makes me nervous. Tell us what do you think of Saulo?" I stopped to think about it and the words just flew out of my mouth.
"He's my best friend, I can't imagine my life without him, i would rather die than see him die or getting hurt. If he's mad at me i feel lost, i already saw every side of him and i love them all. The good the bad. I love him? Is that love? The butterflies, the nervousness, is it?"
"Yes baby you love him. To some people it's harder to understand, sometimes you just need a little push." I jumped out of the bed and shouted.
"Oh my god i love him."
"Just like your father." Mom said.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"He took some time to understand he loved me too but when he figured it out he also jumped out of the bed." She said laughing.
"What should i do now?"
"Go tell them." They all said at the same time.
Right i need to tell him. What if he already changed is mind? No, do not overthink, just go and say the words. I got out of the room, the girls following close by, i went down the stairs, i stopped right in front of him. The others were all there but who the fuck cares right now? I looked deep into his beautiful eyes and said.
"Saulo i..." And that's when the fucking bell rang.