prologue
scoffing, i sat at the table with my head just as low as my faith. i was..confused..not sure of what to feel nor how to feel. i held this perfect image, well at least for the public. i wasn't a huge figure for the public but i was a bit known..somewhat. it was my parents fault, if it wasn't for them, id just a woman from the suburbs.
my mom held this high image of my life and who she wanted me to be and not who i wanted to be. she wanted me to marry a man just as successful as me, rich and handsome, that's kind of all she cared for. she never cared for what i wanted..nor what i desired. i was honestly tired of it all, trying to live up to this perfect life and marry this man i had no interest in.
Barry Lee Adams.
i went to school with a few Barry's, most were the kind kids, the ones who paid attention and got good grades, the ones we'd call "nerds."
a sucker for school never hurt no one..? plus, they were all kind to me. at least the "nerds" were. the stuck up Barry's always had it out for me, but not in the bad ways. they were just idiots to keep it short.
the man my mom had me out to marry was a good man but i didn't want him..he knew that. we held this "perfect" image for the public for years and honestly i were tired of it.
i was tired of trying to live and love this person my mom had painted out for me. i was desperately tired of trying to live this life she held under a spotlight.
rather she lived it or not, i was putting my foot down, the shit ends here.
"why do you look so gloomy?" i heard Barry's voice ring through my ears, my eyes piercing the engagement ring that sat on my finger. why did this man ask me stupid fucking questions? "whats wrong with my lovely wife..? well soon to be." he asked, his voice ringing with confidence as he picked up my hand, placing a kiss on the back of it.
scoffing, i shook my head as i pulled my hand from under his touch, "Barry, we've went over this. ive told you countless times what it is and what it isn't. you keep asking me the same question and i keep giving you the same answers.."
he sighs, rubbing his hands through his hair before rubbing his beard, "Rebecca, i understand, i do. your mom—"
quickly pulling myself up from the table, i tried to contain my anger as his words rang through my ears, "i don't care what my mom wants, Barry! this isn't about her anymore and for the last time, it's not gonna be about her show anymore! im tired of sucking up and trying to live this perfect life for, Evelyn."
he stands, pressing his hands down against the table as he leads against it, "lower your voice, Rebecca.."
i shake my head, my eyes landing upon his as i stare into them for a split second before walking away. walking over towards the door, i gathered my things as i processed forward.
"where are you going..?" he asked, following behind as he desperately tried stopping me.
"i need to speak with my mother," i glanced back as i climbed into my vehicle. "ill talk to you, maybe when im done but i have to run to the school later."
"i don't understand why you're trying to put yourself in the teaching position when you're just rich as hell.."
i shake my head, "and i don't understand why you or my mother want me to live a life in which i hate. it's comforting for you both but not me."
not able to get a word out, i shut the car door as i pull off, flooring it down the road. as my mind wondered, i felt the sadness rise in my bones as i inched closer and closer to home, the same old feeling from high school. it was frowned upon that i didn't marry this man but i didn't want to. Barry was a good person but Barry just wasn't..me, Barry wasn't the one for me.
i loved him, as a friend but never more than that.
after a while, i soon pulled up to my old home, a rush of emotions hitting me as i sat in my car for a brief moment. taking it all in.
i honestly didn't know what to do, how to feel, nor how to think. my mind was racing if i was being completely honest. i didn't know how i was gonna approach my mom with such a topic. hell, it wasn't like ive never tried to strike up a conversation about this before, she just always brushed it up or told me off in a way.
this time was different.
dragging myself from my car, i shut the door as i made my way up the stairs, knocking on the door. not even a few seconds later did the door fly open, my eyes landing on my father.
thank goodness.
"hi beautiful," he greeted me with a smile, stepping aside as he allowed me inside. "how've you been?"
did i want to speak the truth? well, he knew, my father was never the problem, it was just his wife, my mother. why couldn't she just listen?
i smile small, "uh ive been well, trying to keep myself together, you know? how about yourself?"
he chuckles, shaking his head, "well, you know how it's been, the same old bullshit."
sharing a laugh, our eyes meet and instantly he knew something was off. my heart sank just the slightest as i watched a worried expression come across his face.
"what's going on, sweetheart?" he questioned, his tone going from excited to worried in an instant. "is there something going on??"
unable to get my words out, my mom rounds the corner just as cheerful as can be, "hi baby!"
i shake my head, a soft sigh escaping my lips, "dad, ill uh talk about that later, i need to speak with my mom for a brief moment. can you give us a moment?"
not bothering to say anything back, he gives me a small nod as he exits the room, soon leaving mom and i alone. taking my time, i made my way over to the dinning area, sitting down at the table. pulling my purse off of my shoulder, i sat it beside me as my eyes finally landed on my beloved mother.
"where's Barry..?" she questioned, the first question leaving her mouth since Ive been here. no how are you? no how you've been? no how's life? nothing.
"home," was all i could say, a slight roll of the eyes as irritation felt my soul. "i didn't really come over here to speak with you about Barry, if you'd wish to talk to him, dial him, you have his number."
"i try, he's busy half of the time. he told me you guys were getting married soon, how's the wedding going to be? when is it?"
shaking my head, i tried to contain my emotions. "there will be no wedding, same as i told him will be the same as i tell you—"
"Rebecca, no!" she blurts, frustrating feeling her facial expressions as she pointed a finger my way. "he's a good man! why do you have to fuck everything up!"
i tilt my head, frowning my brows as i watched her, "im sorry, come again?"
"you heard me," she spits, folding her arms like a kid whom didn't get their way. "you always want to ruin things, Barry is a good man and here you are trying to ruin things between the two of you."
i shake my head, sighing just slightly, "you don't understand, you never fucking understand! i just told you that i don't want to marry that man! i told him that and im here telling you. im sick of trying to fit in this perfect life for you, Evelyn."
"that man is good to you, Rebecca! he talks about you all the time and it's so lovely. he wants to marry you."
looking down at the engagement ring on my finger, i felt exactly how i felt before leaving the house, numbness. the feelings for Barry weren't there nor was the kind of love you were supposed to give your upcoming husband. i never looked at Barry in such a way and the more my family pushed it onto me, the more the feelings decreased.
in some moments i just wanted to start over and start a new life but could i actually? could i actually get away with doing what i wanted..? no. if it wasn't Evelyn's way, it was no one's way.
sliding the ring off of my finger, i slid it across the table as i rose from my seat, "i could've given it to Barry but i didn't plan on going back home any time soon. im doing playing this game with you, it's not about you anymore, rather you like it or not. i don't even care, Evelyn."
"Rebecca," my mom called out, trying to reach for me as i brushed past her. making my way towards the door, i opened it swiftly, looking back at her for one last moment. "don't do this, that man loves you and you're just trying to throw it all away.."
i scoff, "im gonna go become a teacher, im gonna go start a life for me and i don't care if you don't like it. it's for me and me only. im not marrying, Barry, no matter how much you pressure me about it."
"you don't even like teaching.."
"you don't even know shit about me, Evelyn. you've never once tried to get to know me. and im your daughter. it's always been about you but starting today, it won't be."
A/N: there will not be cast list, the lovely characters are your own imagination. whatever you're comfortable with imagining, will be them, at least for you. but welcome, welcome to another seasonal series that will be dropping in August. i hope you enjoy, i love you all very much.<3.
if you enjoy the book, a like, comment, and a simple share would mean a lot, thank you again.
my mom held this high image of my life and who she wanted me to be and not who i wanted to be. she wanted me to marry a man just as successful as me, rich and handsome, that's kind of all she cared for. she never cared for what i wanted..nor what i desired. i was honestly tired of it all, trying to live up to this perfect life and marry this man i had no interest in.
Barry Lee Adams.
i went to school with a few Barry's, most were the kind kids, the ones who paid attention and got good grades, the ones we'd call "nerds."
a sucker for school never hurt no one..? plus, they were all kind to me. at least the "nerds" were. the stuck up Barry's always had it out for me, but not in the bad ways. they were just idiots to keep it short.
the man my mom had me out to marry was a good man but i didn't want him..he knew that. we held this "perfect" image for the public for years and honestly i were tired of it.
i was tired of trying to live and love this person my mom had painted out for me. i was desperately tired of trying to live this life she held under a spotlight.
rather she lived it or not, i was putting my foot down, the shit ends here.
"why do you look so gloomy?" i heard Barry's voice ring through my ears, my eyes piercing the engagement ring that sat on my finger. why did this man ask me stupid fucking questions? "whats wrong with my lovely wife..? well soon to be." he asked, his voice ringing with confidence as he picked up my hand, placing a kiss on the back of it.
scoffing, i shook my head as i pulled my hand from under his touch, "Barry, we've went over this. ive told you countless times what it is and what it isn't. you keep asking me the same question and i keep giving you the same answers.."
he sighs, rubbing his hands through his hair before rubbing his beard, "Rebecca, i understand, i do. your mom—"
quickly pulling myself up from the table, i tried to contain my anger as his words rang through my ears, "i don't care what my mom wants, Barry! this isn't about her anymore and for the last time, it's not gonna be about her show anymore! im tired of sucking up and trying to live this perfect life for, Evelyn."
he stands, pressing his hands down against the table as he leads against it, "lower your voice, Rebecca.."
i shake my head, my eyes landing upon his as i stare into them for a split second before walking away. walking over towards the door, i gathered my things as i processed forward.
"where are you going..?" he asked, following behind as he desperately tried stopping me.
"i need to speak with my mother," i glanced back as i climbed into my vehicle. "ill talk to you, maybe when im done but i have to run to the school later."
"i don't understand why you're trying to put yourself in the teaching position when you're just rich as hell.."
i shake my head, "and i don't understand why you or my mother want me to live a life in which i hate. it's comforting for you both but not me."
not able to get a word out, i shut the car door as i pull off, flooring it down the road. as my mind wondered, i felt the sadness rise in my bones as i inched closer and closer to home, the same old feeling from high school. it was frowned upon that i didn't marry this man but i didn't want to. Barry was a good person but Barry just wasn't..me, Barry wasn't the one for me.
i loved him, as a friend but never more than that.
after a while, i soon pulled up to my old home, a rush of emotions hitting me as i sat in my car for a brief moment. taking it all in.
i honestly didn't know what to do, how to feel, nor how to think. my mind was racing if i was being completely honest. i didn't know how i was gonna approach my mom with such a topic. hell, it wasn't like ive never tried to strike up a conversation about this before, she just always brushed it up or told me off in a way.
this time was different.
dragging myself from my car, i shut the door as i made my way up the stairs, knocking on the door. not even a few seconds later did the door fly open, my eyes landing on my father.
thank goodness.
"hi beautiful," he greeted me with a smile, stepping aside as he allowed me inside. "how've you been?"
did i want to speak the truth? well, he knew, my father was never the problem, it was just his wife, my mother. why couldn't she just listen?
i smile small, "uh ive been well, trying to keep myself together, you know? how about yourself?"
he chuckles, shaking his head, "well, you know how it's been, the same old bullshit."
sharing a laugh, our eyes meet and instantly he knew something was off. my heart sank just the slightest as i watched a worried expression come across his face.
"what's going on, sweetheart?" he questioned, his tone going from excited to worried in an instant. "is there something going on??"
unable to get my words out, my mom rounds the corner just as cheerful as can be, "hi baby!"
i shake my head, a soft sigh escaping my lips, "dad, ill uh talk about that later, i need to speak with my mom for a brief moment. can you give us a moment?"
not bothering to say anything back, he gives me a small nod as he exits the room, soon leaving mom and i alone. taking my time, i made my way over to the dinning area, sitting down at the table. pulling my purse off of my shoulder, i sat it beside me as my eyes finally landed on my beloved mother.
"where's Barry..?" she questioned, the first question leaving her mouth since Ive been here. no how are you? no how you've been? no how's life? nothing.
"home," was all i could say, a slight roll of the eyes as irritation felt my soul. "i didn't really come over here to speak with you about Barry, if you'd wish to talk to him, dial him, you have his number."
"i try, he's busy half of the time. he told me you guys were getting married soon, how's the wedding going to be? when is it?"
shaking my head, i tried to contain my emotions. "there will be no wedding, same as i told him will be the same as i tell you—"
"Rebecca, no!" she blurts, frustrating feeling her facial expressions as she pointed a finger my way. "he's a good man! why do you have to fuck everything up!"
i tilt my head, frowning my brows as i watched her, "im sorry, come again?"
"you heard me," she spits, folding her arms like a kid whom didn't get their way. "you always want to ruin things, Barry is a good man and here you are trying to ruin things between the two of you."
i shake my head, sighing just slightly, "you don't understand, you never fucking understand! i just told you that i don't want to marry that man! i told him that and im here telling you. im sick of trying to fit in this perfect life for you, Evelyn."
"that man is good to you, Rebecca! he talks about you all the time and it's so lovely. he wants to marry you."
looking down at the engagement ring on my finger, i felt exactly how i felt before leaving the house, numbness. the feelings for Barry weren't there nor was the kind of love you were supposed to give your upcoming husband. i never looked at Barry in such a way and the more my family pushed it onto me, the more the feelings decreased.
in some moments i just wanted to start over and start a new life but could i actually? could i actually get away with doing what i wanted..? no. if it wasn't Evelyn's way, it was no one's way.
sliding the ring off of my finger, i slid it across the table as i rose from my seat, "i could've given it to Barry but i didn't plan on going back home any time soon. im doing playing this game with you, it's not about you anymore, rather you like it or not. i don't even care, Evelyn."
"Rebecca," my mom called out, trying to reach for me as i brushed past her. making my way towards the door, i opened it swiftly, looking back at her for one last moment. "don't do this, that man loves you and you're just trying to throw it all away.."
i scoff, "im gonna go become a teacher, im gonna go start a life for me and i don't care if you don't like it. it's for me and me only. im not marrying, Barry, no matter how much you pressure me about it."
"you don't even like teaching.."
"you don't even know shit about me, Evelyn. you've never once tried to get to know me. and im your daughter. it's always been about you but starting today, it won't be."
A/N: there will not be cast list, the lovely characters are your own imagination. whatever you're comfortable with imagining, will be them, at least for you. but welcome, welcome to another seasonal series that will be dropping in August. i hope you enjoy, i love you all very much.<3.
if you enjoy the book, a like, comment, and a simple share would mean a lot, thank you again.
