It was a gloomy day today. My girlfriend suddenly dumped me. We were doing well or so I thought.
I did skip a handful of our dates, but Abby was aware I was having difficulties with my grades and that my parents were bickering more than ever. I’m not saying I was the perfect boyfriend (I may have missed her calls on our one-year anniversary and referred to her as bitchy for being furious), but nonetheless!! Has she not seen other guys in our classes?
I enjoy that you’re a diary where I can vent my frustrations, but there are moments when I wish you were a real person who could help me. You know how my friends can be with their advices.
“YOU ARE SUCH AN ASSHOLE”
“And you think yourself to be so much better, don’t you? Well, let me clear out that misconception for you Ms. Summer, YOU ARE A FUCKING BITCH TOO!!!”
I just overheard my parents cursing each other so loudly that I’m sure the Gellers next door will be discussing us at their dinner table. Well, I’m not in the mood to write anymore, so I’m just going to listen to loud music and wallow in self-pity.
My mind was racing as I closed my diary, thinking if my parents are going to get a divorce. Questions like where I would live, which parent would be more involved and whether either of them would succumb to alcoholism began to arise in my mind.
‘No Peter, nothing like that will happen.’
I tried to assure my conscious self and even if it does, it won’t matter much because my senior year begins next week and I’ll be out for college a year after that.
I tried to sleep with my headphones in, but I could still hear their conversations in the background. And as I tried to divert my attention away from their fight, my mind went straight to Abby, begging me to contact her, apologise and do whatever it takes to get her back. It felt like the one solid and nice thing in my life was about to vanish.
Maybe these thoughts are the result of my teenage hormones, but I can’t care less. I need to be with her, and what would everyone think if they found out that she had dumped me? I’d look like an idiot!
There was complete silence around me when I woke up, as if the house has been deserted. Something from yesterday’s fight seemed to be lingering in the air.
Nothing matters though, because today I am going to talk to Abby and I am going to get her back. Should I wear the denim jacket that she thinks looks really good on me? But would she even agree to talk to me, it has just been a day since we broke up.
“What are you thinking so hard about, Peter?” my mom asked while coming out on the patio, all dressed up.
“Nothing major, how are you?” I inquired. There was no benefit of telling her about my relationship condition when she was juggling with hers and I have a feeling that she would shout at me before giving me any advice.
“I am sorry about yesterday darling, and I’m sure your father is too” she replied, while dodging my question. I have always seen her as a headstrong woman but right now she looks so fucking tired.
“It doesn’t matter and why are you advocating for dad, not angry at him anymore?” I just don’t understand how they can fight so hard one day and then be ok the next.
“Nah, we talked it out and when I dig a little deeper, I don’t even think I was upset at your dad in the first place. We were talking about something; my mood was already not very good and it just resulted into a fight”
I groaned and said, “I understand, I do it as well”.
“Perhaps you got it from me. Anyway, I’ve been called into office for an emergency, and I have no idea how late I’ll be. So simply tell your father that and do something productive, don’t just sit and laze around all day, alright?” Her sentence began with a light-hearted remark and ended with a directive. Classic parent behavior.
“Alright mom, bye-bye”
1 message from Abby
A: Can you come over?
‘OK, I’ll take this as a positive sign.’ I told myself.
‘You fool, stop talking to yourself and respond to her.’ She can see that you’ve seen the message, and she’ll assume you’re thinking adversely about it now.′ My subconscious was chastising me.
P: Yeah, sure.
I dash to my room as quickly as possible to change, and yes, I am going to dress to impress.
“Peter! Peter!” my father yells as he storms into my room. It’s a good thing I was quick at changing my clothes.
He asks, with a silly grin on his face, “Where is your mother?”
“She was called in the office and there was an emergency, and she wasn’t sure when she’d be home,” the grin fades a little. “Would you like to tell me why you’re smiling like a serial killer?”
“Well, I’m quite sure you heard me and your mom yesterday, and while I apologise for that, I was thinking of taking her out on a date; I was hoping we could have a full day, but since she’s busy right now, maybe we could do supper at our favourite bar,” he says with a broad grin.
He doesn’t appear to be responding to me any longer; instead, he appears to be making arrangements with my m
“Well, while you’re doing that, I’ve got to go, so, bye dad.”
‘Oh My God, that did not go well’ I thought, while walking back to my house.
*Flashback to Abby’s house*
I stood in front of her door while ringing the bell, expecting everything would go smoothly.
“How are you doing today, Peter?” Mrs. Collin inquires as she opens the door.
“I’m good, Mrs. Collin. How are you doing today?” I likewise do the formality of small conversation while lightly bouncing on my toes, eager to speak with Abby.
“Well, I’m good too and Abby is in her room, by the way”
“Thanks Mrs. Collins”
I see her lying on her stomach, reading a book when I enter into her room.
“Hey peter” she says simply, without the babe/Pete/sweetheart qualifiers. This is already beginning to look bad. Fuck it, I’m going to give it a shot.
“Listen, I realise the breakup sounded a little hasty, and I’m not saying I didn’t mean what I said yesterday, but there was another reason why I ended our relationship.”
Before she could even complete what she was saying, words started vomiting out of my mouth, ““You cheated on me, didn’t you? And don’t blame me, okay? You could have broken up with me earlier if you thought I was such a jerk, but you didn’t. You just hooked up with someone and now you’re pining all over the place...”
“DAMNIT, DAMNIT, DAMNIT, you know what your problem is Peter, you are never ready to take your share of the blame and responsibility,” she yells, becoming more enraged by the second, “NO, I didn’t cheat on you; I’d simply started to like someone else, and yes, you were a dreadful boyfriend.”
And that, more than anything else, manages to silence me.
After two minutes which actually felt like hours, we both calm down by a great fraction.
“Well, this is it then?”
“Yeah, I’m sorry for shouting at you like that though”
“No, it is fine actually. Maybe I needed that. Goodbye then”
“Bye, see you at school”
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