Love Stained

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Chapter 29 - I See You

Quinn POV

I watched with an insane amount of love in my heart as Jayce got dressed to start the day. He’d made me breakfast to have in bed and a hot cup of tea, with orders to remain here as long as I wanted.
He planted a gentle kiss on my forehead and off he went, my big beautiful Alpha. I stretched my legs out in bed and drained the last little bit of tea, the sweetness from the sugar at the bottom reminding me of when I’d drink the end of mum’s tea when I was a kid.

I threw the sheet off my body and swung my legs over the edge of the bed, then nestled my toes into the deliciously thick floor rug at my feet.
My wolf was in seventh heaven after last night. We connected with our mate like never before, our wolves and humans bonding on a whole other level. For a moment I forgot about everything else and it was just me and Jayce, two souls blending in an act of pure bliss.

I yawned and stood up, no sooner had I put all my weight on my feet that an intense pain tore through my head. I screamed, grabbing my scalp, my nails digging into my skin in an attempt to claw the fire out. My legs crumbled underneath me and I dropped to my knees. I felt the walls closing in and darkness surrounding me as I lay in the fetal position. I didn’t know if my head was going to explode, or my heart, as the pain radiated down my body. What was happening? I felt like I was dying, a combination of physical and psychological pain that suffocated me, that crushed my body into the floor.
I sobbed, squeezing my eyes closed until I thought they might burst.
Surely Jayce would be here any second. He would feel my pain through our bond and he would come to me. I tried to mind link him but the noise in my head prevented me from forming the connection.

I searched for my wolf; she was there, curled up, still in a state of pure ecstasy from her time with her mate. She slept peacefully, every now and then giving a little twitch as she chased rabbits in her dreams. I delved deeper into my subconscious, sobbing as the pain in my head intensified. My bear was there, she was hibernating, completely oblivious to the shards of glass that tore through my brain.
I pushed further, knowing now what I had feared all along.

Where is she?

I searched for my panther. Every now and then when I thought I was getting close I would be thrown back; the feeling of daggers in my temples causing me to be physically sick. I felt myself biting down on my bottom lip and the metallic taste of blood filling my mouth. I needed to find her, I knew there was no escaping this torture until I did.
Where was Jayce?!

I remembered my training with Moira. I was so triggered and heightened at the moment that I knew the chances of me reaching my panther in this state were minimal. I would likely go insane.
I tried to calm my body, beginning with focusing on each individual muscle and willing them to relax. I concentrated on my breathing, feeling the air fill my lungs then slowly exhaling through my mouth in one long even motion. The pain in my head began to lose its intensity, the sharpness slowly subsiding into a dull ache.

I tried again to search for my panther. I could feel her pain, now that my own wasn’t as strong. Her pain was raw, heartbreaking. I could feel the hopelessness that consumed her and the darkness that surrounded her.
What had I done?
I focused on my breathing, pushing further into my subconscious until the faint outline of my panther’s silver body became visible in the blackness. I continued my advance, taking in how dull her coat was and how her breaths were long and deep. Gently I tried to coax the panther to open her eyes, to acknowledge that I was here for her, that I was empathetic to her pain. My heart broke when there was no response, as if she was in a comatose state and unable to feel my presence.

I reached out further, needing to know what was going on in my panther’s mind, needing to know what I could do to bring her back to me. For once there was no resistance, the panther seemingly willing to let me inside.

Oh my goddess.

I gripped my chest, a loud sob wracking through my body. I saw Kyanite and myself, in the moment where he revealed to me that I was his mate. His body encased my body, his scent enveloped my senses and snaked around every inch of my being. My body burned for his, my heart beating out of my chest as his emerald eyes bore into my sapphires on his terrace in Panthera.

Mate. Mate. Mate.

No sooner had the scene finished playing in my head, did it start again. The feelings once again reigniting the fire in my belly and my soul. My panther let out a little cry as she watched her mate, letting the memory consume her mind.
I gasped as the scene finished and started again. My panther was clinging on to this memory for dear life, willingly stuck in a never ending loop; doing whatever she could to block out the pain of the reality and to remain in a moment in time where she felt connected to her mate.

Kyanite POV

The bear stuck by her word and the Baltic amber was delivered safely and promptly by eagle. It was a beautiful gem. I smiled as I held it up to the light. There was a small butterfly encased in the centre of it, forever frozen in time. It was perfect. Norah had done well.

I placed the amber on the small table next to the moonstone and turquoise.
We were in the lounge of Moira’s house. This was where Quinn apparently did most of her meditation and mindfulness, so it made sense to do this here where she felt most relaxed and comfortable.

“So run this past me again before Quinn gets here” the Alpha said.

He sat on the large couch, along with Moira and Cassius. Gretchen had decided to sit this one out, I’d be lying if I said I was disappointed.

“Ok. For the third and last time, I’m sick of repeating myself” I grunted.

Jayce crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for me to continue.

“Quinn sits on the ground opposite me. I’ll have her hold all three gems and I will cup her hands with my own. We will reach a meditative state where my subconscious can speak to hers. In that state I will be able to walk her through, step by step, how to access the power of the gems using her mind and her animals”

“And how long do you expect this process to take?” Cassius asked.

I could tell the Alpha of Eastern Ridge was genuinely fascinated with what I was planning to do. Jayce, on the other hand was more worried about the fact I was going to hold the tribrid’s hands.
I was surprised when Moira told me that Jayce managed to get his Luna to agree to this, especially after what happened yesterday afternoon. I knew I’d hurt her panther and part of me regretted it deeply. It gave me the shits that I cared so much, or that my panther did anyway. Quinn had clearly made her decision, I could smell the sex and tribrid stink on Jayce the second he walked in. He knew that I could smell it and he was all but rubbing it in my face.

I brought myself back to Cassius’s question and shrugged my shoulders.

“It could take minutes, it could take hours. It depends on how receptive her animals are and how much trust she puts in me”

I noticed Jayce’s body tense, the action giving me more satisfaction than it should have.

“And if she doesn’t trust you?” He asked.

“She will”

My panther stirred and I instinctively turned towards the door before anyone even heard Quinn approaching. When the door swung open my stomach dropped at the sight of the tribrid.

“Quinn! Come in” Moira called, smiling as she ushered the Luna inside.

Quinn gave her a small smile in return and followed the she-wolf into the lounge room. My eyes never left her, taking in the slump of her shoulders, the dullness of her skin, the sadness in her eyes and the exhaustion laced in her features; she looked terrible.

The Alpha stood up and walked over to his Luna, seemingly unconcerned with the sight that stood before him. He kissed her cheek, letting his lips linger a little longer to make sure I witnessed the tender moment.

“You look beautiful, my Luna, as always”

I snorted. Jayce’s narrowed eyes shot to me.

“Something to say? Prince?” He snapped.

“She looks like shit. Why beat around the bush?”


I stared at Moira. She had a look of shock on her face from my comment. I was genuinely confused, everyone gave me the same look. The tribrid appeared unwell, she looked like shit...why wasn’t anyone acknowledging that?

“What? Are you all blind? Look at her”

The Alpha growled and let go of Quinn to storm towards me. Quinn put her arm out, grabbing his hand and stopping him.

“Jayce...” she said quietly, pain in her voice, “don’t. Please”

“I think she’s glowing” Moira said, “you are, Quinn. You look happy and well rested”

Are they fucking serious?

Quinn looked at me for a second, then her eyes dropped quickly to the floor at her feet. It was in that moment that the realisation hit me. Quinn’s wolf was happy, her wolf was glowing, her wolf was well rested; her panther on the other hand...
I felt a stab of pain in the left side of my chest and winced as my panther recoiled. No one else could see what I could see, their wolves were just seeing her wolf, her happy wolf; they couldn’t see the toll her heartbroken panther was taking on her; and it was my fault.

“Right” I said, clearing my throat, “let’s get started shall we?”

I walked over to the centre of the room and sat down on one of the mats Moira had set out. Jayce, Moira and Cassius took their seats on the couch and Quinn walked over to me, taking her place opposite me on another mat. We both sat with our legs crossed. I noticed Quinn refused to look up at me, this was not going to work if she was going to block me out.

“Quinn” I said quietly, “open your hands please”

The tribrid did as I said and I placed the three gems in her hands. I softly moved my hands over her’s. The heat I felt the second my skin touched her’s didn’t go unnoticed. I knew Quinn felt it too. I wanted her to look up at me, to look into my eyes, to know what her touch did to me; but she remained looking down, distant, lost.

“Close your eyes and begin your breathing, just the way Moira taught you. Focus on the feel of the air flowing in through your nose, into your lungs, out through your mouth”

I breathed with Quinn, in and out, slowly and steadily. Before long our breathing was completely in sync. I felt her hands relax slightly in mine and it took everything I had not to stroke her fingers with my own.

“Feel the energy of the gems in your palm. The coolness of the moonstone, the heat of the amber, the wetness of the turquoise. Picture each gem individually and align them with your animals. The amber is with your bear, the moonstone with your wolf and the turquoise with your panther”

I felt Quinn’s hand twitch slightly as I mentioned her panther. I instinctively squeezed her hands gently, letting her know that it was going to be ok. She relaxed again and I continued on.

“Now I want you to imagine a place. A place where all of your animals are together, a place where they all feel comfortable and they can all live in harmony. Imagine how this place looks, how it feels, how it smells. Once you have that image etched perfectly into your mind...I want you to take us there”

I felt Quinn tense again and sensed some resistance. If this was going to work I needed her to open up, to let me in. I squeezed her hands again and risking pissing off the Alpha I lifted her hands to my lips.

“Shhh. It’s ok Quinn. I’ve got you”

The sound of running water, birds and the breeze through the trees tickled my senses. I could smell something sweet, waffles? I felt the cool grass under my legs as I sat on the ground cross legged.
I opened my eyes to see the most beautiful sapphires in the world staring back at me.

“This is amazing Quinn” I breathed, looking around at the perfect representation of the creek than ran through the back of Fern Creek, “welcome to your subconscious”

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