Never in a million years I thought that I would be a mother , it was an unnecessary goal to me .
Not in my bucket list .
I wanted to enjoy life to the fullest .
I wanted to feel like a normal human being that can love and be loved .
But here I am a mother of a baby girl that looks exactly like me .
Dark messy hair that covers her small head,white skin colour and pink tinted cheeks .
She feels so small in my arms , it's been few minutes since she's born .
My husband Damon is standing beside with a huge grin on his face . His eyes are mixed with emotions .
Happiness , relief and joy .
I smiled lazily as I could feel the sweat dropping of my forehead .
The pushing process took a long time , it consumed all of me , all of my energy .
Yet I felt safe and protected my Damon's presence .
He held my hand while motivating me .
"Sky you are strong . You can do this . You are gonna be a mother " however the most important sentence I heard " I'm here with you" . It made me more emotional than before .
It made me feel strong , as if it recharged me gave me power .
I thanked God million times for this divine gift , to have a perfect husband and a daughter .
A family .
A simple small family .
A stray happy tear rolled down my cheek,to say I'm not tired is a fat lie .
I heard before that all the pain you feel will instantly vanish after holding your baby , and it's worth the pain .
Looking back to my life , it was pretty normal and I surely loved it no matter what.
Being a teacher is hectic yet I love what I do.
I hate children .All though being around them and hearing their whinny thin voice that feels like rubbing your nails against a choke board however I loved my job.
The passion inside of me overloaded every other negative feeling .
The passion of teaching people helped me as a human . It actually made feel good in this shitty life .
It made feel safe in my own bubble , my own world that I created and isolated myself in .
That's my job and I love it no matter what.
Cooking was another thing that I mastered and loved with an open heart .
The smell , the taste and the ending result of each dish is something I would live for .
The kitchen is a holy place that I couldn't let anyone pass it or enter it .
Wow life is weird .
Closing my eyes I let those blue , green and red planets swim in the dark black background .
I let my imagination do what ever it wants .I let me thoughts run in my mind like there is no tomorrow .
Numb body with an active mind .
Let alone my sore boobs and legs .
In conclusion my life turned 360 degree, and let me tell you I don't regret anything .
Nothing at all ,even though I didn't plan any of this however I thank God for everything .
My thoughts were intrupted by Damon's voice .
A silky yet rough voice that made me feel safe and made me shiver every time I hear it.
Opening my eyes , they were welcomed by his perfect smile .It held so many emotions .
And let me tell you that whenever I look at him I turn into a hormonal teenager that has a huge crush on a boy .
It's like turned 18 again , feeling alive.
He held my hand and kissed it , whispered" I love" .
My body immediately reacted to his touch , why am I feeling horny ? I don't know .
Why do I feel like I need to kiss him so hard and tell him I love him so much ? I don't know .
Why do I feel like grabbing his perfect sculpted face , look into his eyes ? I don't know.
The only thing I am sure that I know is that I stared long enough without saying "I love you" back.
" I love you" .
This sentence turned my life upside down but in a good way .
It actually made my heart flutter whenever I hear it .
Damon came closer a hugged me however he made sure not crush me or hug me in wrong way .
I inhaled his smell , let alone hugging him feels like I'm home . His smell woke me up , woke my feelings up .
I'm sure that my pupils dilated and I'm okay with it .
Jesus Christ I bet I smell like a nasty onion with cumin .
Pushing a human being out of you takes tons of energy from you , yeah that's it nothing more nothing less.
I tried to pull backward but he didn't let me go .
"No don't, just stay like this " he said .
He made me emotional all over again , my hormones are all over the place .
"You know I'm the happiest man alive right now , I have a perfect wife , soulmate you name it . And a small angel " He stated proudly while still holding me .
" And I'm lucky to have a husband a soulmate that got my back . I love him so much and I want to kiss so bad right now .I want him to take me right here right now ".I paused and looked at him then resumed "Oh and percouis little Angel".
His eyes are shining with lust and determination .
" What happened to ' Damon Hayes if you touch me again I'll cut your balls and feed them to the fishes'?" He asked with a laugh threatening to come out .
Well here is the thing , I don't care what happened back or what I said . I just want him close to me .
" Well you know it felt back then that my bones were being crunched into million of pieces and my whole lower part being torn is a whole new level of pain " I while resting my back to the weird yet comfortable bed .
" Yeah I need you to know that I'm very sexually active " .
" You meant horny " He smirked .
" Oh my God I was trying to ..." I got interrupted by a small cry from beside us .
The small crib that has our angel .
Our precious daughter .
" Oh ..." Damon's face was funny . He was shocked and I could feel he's panicking .
" Bring her to me " I said .
He stood up walked carefully to her as if he's walking on eggs.
" Shsh it's okay mama is here " He tried to calm her down .
She is small in my hands , opening her eyes .
I met her dark blue eyes , and oh my God she started to cry like there is no tomorrow .
She's hungry of course , and this breastfeeding thing is new to me .
So adjusted myself and her to feed her .
She held my finger with her small hand .
Moments passed , silence filled the place which indicates she's sleeping .
Damon is still beside watching over us with a smile .
That's when I knew that I'm happy with my life.