“This is going to be a good day”, I tell myself as I drag my body out of bed. It’s the last day in our old house before we move, and I have to say goodbye to everyone and everything I love so dearly. The new house is about a six hour drive away, and I’m not ready for this type of change.
Not at all.
As I open my bedroom door the smell of freshly made coffee takes over my senses. And I instantly feel calmer than I did a few moments ago.
My mother’s busy, in the kitchen, with the last of the boxes. My brother and father are already loading the moving trucks, with all the men, my mother was so persistent on hiring for the big move.
“This is it!” She yells from across the kitchen. “Yeah, so excited” I answer sarcastically.
“You’ll make new friends dear, a great spirit like yours will never be alone.”
At this point I’m no longer in the kitchen, but I can still hear every word she says. “You know you will!” She shouts realizing I’m no longer there with her.
“It’s freezing. Can we go?”
My father asks, as we all gather outside for one last family photo with the family house in the background, I spent my entire life living here. “This drive is going to be shit” my brother states, my mother instantly turns around and scolds him just as the words leaves his mouth. He’s becoming a little rebel and I’m loving every second of it.
This is my cue. I put in my earphones, drowning out all the excitement.
The drive is so long, but the music so peaceful and I find myself drifting away.
“We’re here!” exclaims my obnoxious brother loudly in my ear. It echo’s through the car and I’m up in an instant.
The drive wasn’t so bad after all, my mother’s soft voice encourages me to sit up straight. Look at the house, she says looking at me with hopeful eyes.
“It’s okay”, I state. I know I should be much nicer to her, this house is five time bigger and better than the old one, but it’s not the same.
I hate change, I hate my parents for making me do this, well okay, I don’t hate them but I wish they never sold the house. I wish they never made us move this never happened.
Not wanting to make her feel much worse then I already have, I get out of the car and grab my bag.
“I’m getting first choice!”I hear my brother from inside the house, but he quickly follows with a “never mind”, and I instantly know that it’s my father’s doing.
“Thanks dad!” I yell back in reply and catch him looking down from one of the bedroom windows, giving a small bow like I’m some sort of royalty. I give one in return, to which we both start to laugh.
He’s always been able to do that, make me laugh I mean. He’s always been my biggest supporter and I love him for it.
My new room is a light grey colour, dark wooden beams surrounds the top all around the room.
It’s not bad at all but it’s also not my normal setting, I suppose it’ll have to do for now. There is a square window almost covering the entire wall, if it was not for the fact that it was showing to the neighbour’s house, directly into one of the bedrooms which in fact doesn’t have curtains either I would have loved it.
I’ll get unpacking in a few minutes, first I need food.
As I head downstairs to find my family, they have already decided on pizza. My father’s on the phone ordering the food.
He looks just as hungry as Logan and I do, my mother however looks too excited about her fancy new kitchen to even think about eating something out of a box.
My father looks at me and I give him a little wink.
My father is the only person who never suffocates me. He knows I’m an adult now and respects the fact that I want to take a gap-year before heading off to college. It’s not so much the fact that I want to take a year off, I just don’t have a clue what I want to do with my life.
The Pizza was amazing, just what I needed after this shitty day.
I’m going upstairs, my brother yells while still chewing on some of his food. I decided to follow shortly after.
After saying good night to my parents I head upstairs.
Maybe I should have a quick shower.
This is the one thing I like about my new room. It has its own bathroom, and that I couldn’t be more thankful for.
Sharing a bathroom with a sixteen year old boy is definitely not appealing.
As I open the door to the bathroom it’s actually a decent size, it has a bathtub and a shower, which is actually very unnecessary since I prefer to have a shower.
As I step into the heat of the shower my body instantly calms down, and the hot water is doing wonders on my back, I’ve been so tense the last few days.
After washing my hair and my body I sit under the steamy water until it runs cold.
As I step out, I wish I could have stayed in longer to delay the inevitable. But these boxes aren’t going to unpack themselves.
It’s almost ten and I still have only unpacked about half of my things, I haven’t even added curtains to that damn window.
That’s it I’m turning in for tonight I hear my father’s voice echo through the massive house, and I must admit that sound like the best thing to do at this point.
As I lay on my bed, in the darkness of my room my eyes keep catching a glimpse of light coming from the window, and it’s damn irritating. I desperately need sleep so I decided to let it go and just close my eyes, slowly drifting away.
Ugh no! My mother has been attempting to get me off this bed for the last twenty minutes. I really don’t have the energy to fight her much longer. I barely got any sleep last night, not real sleep anyway. That annoying light was keeping me out of the deep sleep that I so desperately needed.
I have literally no energy for the day and I know my mother has some crazy plans for us to do. She has unpacked most of our thing during the night and it really doesn’t look that bad.
Are we all going out to explore the new neighbourhood?
My mother asks although her voice is more of a statement.
I’m not, I can see my answer has crumpled some of her joyfulness but I really couldn’t care less. I have had a busy few days and all I want to do is take a step back and get my life back into place.
As my family walk to the front door, I head into the kitchen.
Coffee, I need coffee. The pot is still warm and it smells so good, I pour myself a cup of steaming coffee black no sugar just the way I like it. Just as I’m about to take my first sip a knock at the door scares the bejeezus out of me.
Already frustrated I walk over thinking maybe one of the movers forgot something since it couldn’t be anyone else, I mean we don’t even know anyone yet.
I swing the door open with the “all so famous Lisa attitude” I lose my breath at the sight of a gorgeous looking man.
He’s tanned, so amazingly tanned, he’s wearing a thin white long sleeve shirt. It’s so thin I can hardly keep my eyes away from his torso. He has tattoos, and a lot of it too. His long black jeans hanging low on his hips, not like some of that “I want to be a gangster guys” just low enough to look deadly sexy, yet still very appropriate. It look good on him.
He says with a cocky smile pulling at the corners of his lips and a questioning look on his face.
His voice, a deep husky which makes him sound seriously seductive, maby a little dangerous.
I’ve been staring like a creep! I tried to gather my thoughts and pull myself together.
Oh hi, my voice is so soft it sound like a whisper. I sound like a total moron.
My name’s Finn, my mother wanted me to bring this over, he says pushing a big square dish toward me.
Finn, now that’s a fine name.
And you are? He says pulling me from my thoughts.
I’m Lisa, tell you mom… thanks I guess.
As I take the dish from his hands I notice a small swallow tattoo on his right hand it’s beautiful really, just not at all the type of tattoo you would find on such an intense looking man.
OH MY GOD why is he staring?
Is there something in my teeth?
Why is he making me feel like such a moron?
He’s making my entire body ignite, little prickly feelings consuming my body, making me forget how to be a normal human being.
He’s so damn beautiful. He has green eyes, but not the normal green you see in every other person. His eye are like green moss you find deep in a forest. It’s deep but yet bright, seductive but safe. It’s like he’s able to stare straight through all my bullshit and right into my core, my soul, the real me.
I need to say something, anything really.
But…what does my pathetic ass do? Whispers thanks and shut the door in his face.
What the hell was that!
Definitely the most nerve-wracking, but most exciting part of my day.
It’s not like I’ve never had a boyfriend before, I’m just not use to them looking like that. God what do they feed him.
I wonder how old he is. He looks about twenty-two. Not much older than me, my birthday is actually just around the corner, three months to be exact then I’ll be twenty. I made a promise to myself that I will not be spending my birthday in this shitty old town.
On that note, my brother comes crashing through the door like the destructive little shit he is, my parents not long after that.
We brought you some lunch. My mother hands me the polystyrene box.
Thanks mom giving her a little smile to soften the blow of me not going with them on their little explore trip.
The lady next door made you something, I told my mom while pointing at the square dish.
Dad, I need you to help me put up all my shelves and the lights I use to have on my ceiling.
No problem, I’ll be right there.
Okay thanks I’ll head up to my room to get all the things out of the boxes.
My room is a total mess, we ended up adding a few extra shelves to the wall, since it’s much bigger that my old room’s, the lights looks pretty decent too.
As my father leaves the room, I head towards the bathroom. It’s already 6 pm and I feel like the day’s gotten away from me.
I hope I get some damn sleep tonight. I’m so over this place, it’s exhausting.
My shower was quick, since I still have a lot of things to do before the night is over. Walking into my bedroom with only a towel around my body, my mind starts to wonder to the handsome stranger I met today.
I hope that I’ll see him again.
As the word leave my thoughts I turn to face the window, and there he is.
We share a window. I knew he lived in the neighbourhood but hell, I didn’t think he lived right next to us.
My heart is pounding out of my chest and I need to move away from the window, I haven’t put the curtains up yet and I’m in a towel.
My body doesn’t seem to care much because I’m frozen like a damn statue. As his eyes meet mine my entire body goes numb! This guy must think I’m some crazy stalker.
He opens his window and leans against the frame, like he doesn't have a care in the world. Not thinking this through I move closer to my window.
Hi, looks like I’ll be needing a curtain, can’t have you looking at me while I go about my business. He says with that cocky smile, his smug face is so intoxicating. I want to punch him, no kiss him. Ugh, stop thinking. What caught my attention the most was the little dimples on each side of his mouth.
He literally makes me weak to my knees.
Oh that won’t be necessary, I’ve already got mine ready, I lie regaining back my body and my thoughts.
After the words left my mouth we just stood there for what seems like forever staring at each other, silence, desire all building up.
He breaks the silence by asking - So Lisa you in school? Curiosity covering his sculpted face.
No finished, I’m taking a year off before collage.
What about you?
Doing my second semester at collage. We’re on break for the next three months.
Oh, that’s great. What are you studying?
Shit, that’s impressive (note to self-he’s gorgeous and smart.)
He must have noticed me staring to long, because he starts laughing, looking at me like I’m a zoo animal in a cage trying to escape. The magical sound of his laughter travels into my room and distracts me from my thoughts.
I have to go, the words leave my mouth so quickly I’m not sure he even heard me. But then he says, “Oh I would hope so, you can’t be having conversations with strangers in a towel”.
He’s not wrong but somehow it felt so right, not that I would ever say that out loud.
Funny, giving him my best bitchy face possible I walk back to my bathroom to change into something a little less revealing.
Goodbye Lisa! He shout as I close the bathroom door.
I really need to get some curtains for that damn window, if I’m going to admire this handsome stranger from afar I sure as hell don’t want him to know.
God he’s beautiful.
As I get into bed that night my dreams are taken over by deep green eyes and dimpled smiles, making me sleep better than I have in weeks
It’s been almost a months since our move to this shit whole of a town, it’s growing on me but I’ll never admit that to anyone. There is exactly two month of summer break left. I have since made two new friends, well as far as friends go. They are the smith sisters. Ashley and Natalie, they have lived here their entire lives, and knows everything about everyone.
They only live about four houses down the street from us, which makes this a very convenient friendship for me.
I have also been watching my handsome neighbour from afar, always just a “hello” or his favourite line “What you doing today? “ not that I ever give him an answer, I usually just roll my eyes at him and pretend that I don’t give a damn that he’s even talking to me.
Fooling myself and denying any feelings towards him. Obviously I feel majorly attracted to him, and whenever I see him my heart wants to leap out of my chest.
He’s always so sarcastic and it’s frustrating, I never really know whats serious and what’s not. He’s cute as hell but he infuriates me and I think he knows it.
I always catch myself in front of that damn window, hoping to see him but every time I do I just close the curtains again. I know fucked up right, I just don’t know what to say to him. It’s like I become a total moron whenever I’m around him.
I’m going to Target mom, I’ll see you later. My mom has since redecorated the whole house and my father settled in at his new work place like he was born for the job. My brother has been going to a private school which is a big change for him, but he fits in pretty well with the trust fund brats. Just like I knew he would.
On my way out, Ashley walks up the drive way.
Hi girl! Oh God she’s one of those.
Hey you looking for me?
Yes I am indeed. We are all going out tonight to this local place, it’s very low key you’ll love it.
I don’t think I..
But before I get the chance to protest she says “it’s settled then you’re coming, I’m not taking no for an answer! “ Okay then see you there! She says while walking back into the direction she came from.
Ugh, I hate social “hangings”. But I also haven’t had a drink or went out since we moved here and one drink won’t hurt, would it?
I know how my parents get when I’m drinking, but I’m not that person anymore I’ve grown up. I’m not that stupid little girl who got drunk and totalled her car in senior year. I can go out without getting shit faced.
When I arrive at Target it’s almost four. I decide to get something to wear for tonight since I don’t really have that much, I donated a lot of things when we started packing for the move here. After choosing some underwear from the one section of the store I head towards the clothing section.
I decided on a thin strappy cocktail dress and a black pear of heels, they aren’t that high since I don’t have the skills it takes to walk in those things like some Victoria secret model.
After my internal battle about the heels I head to the register to pay. A few feet away my body gets pulled to the side.
What the hell!
Well you could have just said hi, you don’t need to pull me around I replied boldly.
We were standing so close to each other I can feel the heat from his body and his hot minty breath against my skin as he speaks, Goosebumps covering my entire body as I stare at his lips while he speaks.
Did you hear me? He asks breaking me away from my thoughts.
Uh no sorry what did you say?
I like those, he says pointing to the new black lace lingerie set I’m about to buy.
Embarrassment covering my face and my cheeks flush red and all I can think of saying is, you’re a dick! Before moving towards the register, and leaving Finn standing there probably shocked to hear a girl use vile language.
After paying I walk out to my car to find Finn leaning against it.
What do you want now?
I just want to apologise, I didn’t mean to be a dick to you I was just trying to make conversation. I feel like you’re avoiding me or something.
It must be the “something” because I can’t avoid you Finn, you’re my neighbour. Now get off my car I have plans and you’re going to make me late
It’s none of your business, now move. I muster up one of my signiture smiles.
He takes a step towards me, making me move back a little.
Lowering his body so our eyes meet, he says in his low seductive husky voice “I’ll see you around Lisa” and winks before walking away.
The parking lot is fully packed as I drive up to the small town bar, it’s much bigger than I expected.
As soon as I open the door to the shitty place, the smell of tobacco and cheap vodka fills my senses, I welcome the familiar sensation. I haven’t been out in a while, my parents weren’t exactly excited when I told them about my plans for tonight but I’m determined to have a good night tonight.
I spot Natalie’s bushy hair from across the room and start walking in her direction, as I get closer to the booth a few more faces came into place.
As I’m about to reach the table a familiar laugh distracts me, and I turn to find the source of it. A few tables away is a group of guys, most of them look like they have been here a while, all but one.
It’s Finn, what the hell is he doing here?
As he looks up, his green eyes pierce through me as we make eye contact.
He keeps his eyes locked on mine, and I can feel my body ignite with desire and excitement as he skims his eyes up and down my body taking in my appearance.
I’m distracted from my thought when Ashley pulls me aside and hugs me with a force, she has most definitely had a few to drink already.
You wanna drink?
I give him a small nod, and he hands me a plastic cup full of what looks like cranberry juice. If “he’s” going to be here I’m going to need more than one drink tonight.
What is it?
It’s vodka sweetie!
I should have known these lame townies would be drinking the cheap stuff.
I really shouldn’t complain this much, just enjoy it I think to myself before taking a big sip of my drink. The familiar taste of vodka burns down my throat and warms up my entire body.
This isn’t so bad, Ashley says after handing me another drink, this seems to be my fourth drink for tonight.
SHOTS! Natalie yells and everyone cheers her on as she runs to the bar. I stand to follow her, wanting to get away from the creep who still has his arm around my neck. Not that he’s bad looking or anything, just not my type at all.
I seriously need something better than vodka if I’m going to have to sit and make awkward eye contact with Finn all night. His eyes haven’t left my body since he noticed my presence, he watches every move I make as if he’s a lion waiting to catch his prey.
At the bar I order myself a whisky and some shots for the table. Natalie, next to me orders a different type of shots and we carry them all back to the overly crowded booth we are occupying for the night.
I have had a shit ton to drink, and I’m feeling the alcohol taking over my mind as I catch myself looking at Finn more often then I should be.
He’s just so sexy just so, so sexy. I wonder what he tastes like? How his hands would feel on my body.
I really need to go home and sleep this off.
I need to go, I announce standing up from the table.
Aww No just one more! Ashely calls from behind me, but I’ve already made my way out of the booth and to the door.
As I step outside, the cold air makes my intoxicated skin tingle.
It feels somewhat good I definitely needed some fresh air. Taking it all in I spread my arm out high and take one big sniff on the misty night sky. I’m not that drunk, on a level of one to ten I may be a seven.
Okay fine an eight, I admit to myself with a giggle.
What’s so funny?
Shit you scared me Finn!
Why are you always everywhere?
I just wanted to see if you were okay, and you’re obviously not.
Am too, I protest with a little hiccup.
You’re not driving, let me drive you home. I’ll get my car in the morning he says pulling me closer to him. You’re bossy, I managed to say. Being this close to him is making me feel more intoxicated than I am. Ignoring me he opens the door to the passenger side of my car, pointing for me to get in.
When did he even get the damn car keys from me?
After making sure I’m buckled in, he gets into the car seat next to me.
Are you hungry?
You are so damn beautiful, He whispers.
His face instantly goes a cherry red shade, probably realizing what he just said out loud.
I can hear my own heartbeat in the silence of the enclosed car as his eyes burn through my body, igniting every fibre of my being.
Clearing his throat he starts the car and drives out of the lot of the small bar. The silence in the car is so frustrating, but at the same time I’m grateful for it since I don’t have a clue what I would say if I had to speak now.
He always has me at a loss of words.
After a while he drives into a fast food drive through, then looks at me for the first time since he said his thoughts out loud.
He didn’t say anything, he was just staring at me burning though my thoughts.
Moving up to the window he places an order and move to the next to pay. Snapping back to reality I start digging for my wallet. Noticing what I’m doing Finn turns around, looking at me he says “don’t even think about it”. His voice has a lot of authority in it and quite frankly it was pissing me off.
If you don’t take it I’m getting out of this car!
And do what! He fires back.
He could probably hear the anger in my voice, because he the money from my hand with humour behind his eyes.
Shocked at my tone of voice he turns to face me.
Nothing Lisa drop it.
No Finn tell me why you find me so damn amusing?
He looks serious now, after collecting the food he turned the car to the parking lot, parking at the furthers end of the dark lot. Setting the food down on the back seat, Finn fully faces me for the first time.
After a while he starts.
I don’t find you amusing Lisa, I find you so damn frustrating you are so stubborn!
Every day, I think about you every fucking day. What you’re wearing? What you’re doing?
The stupidest shit, but I just can’t stop! I’ve tried, believe me I’ve tried but I can’t.
Every time I get the chance to see you, even talk to you, you act like I don’t exists. That's never happend to me by the way.
You walk past me, looking at me with those big brown eyes!
Damn those brown eyes…
Your lips, I can't stop thinking about them, every time I see them I want them more and more.
I can’t stand you not being close to me anymore, I need to touch you. I need to see you! I need you to see me Lisa! You can’t keep pretending like I don’t exist.
Before he can finish, before I can stop myself, I leap over onto his side and my lips press against his with force. Finally having the pure sensation of his silky lips against mine.
Regaining his stability he parts his lips, and I gently stroke my tongue over his, savouring every second asking for permission to enter. His mouth is so warm, there’s a hint of mint and it’s a thrilling sensation. I’m loving the way he’s tasting, the sensation it gives me makes our kisses rougher as Finn starts to take control of the kiss.
Moving his hands to my hips, pulling me over to him even more, my legs part involuntarily, so that I straddle him. He feels so good, his skin is warm to the touch. His hands move lower down my back, and down my thighs and my whole body tenses.
He bites at the corner of my lips as he kisses me, each kiss with more passion then the last.
Just as his hands move lower on my bare skin, I realize that I’m wearing a dress and it’s probably tugged up around my waist.
You’re wearing “them”, Finn moans into my mouth, and as I look down to see what he’s talking about, it hits me I’m wearing the new black lace set I bought earlier the day, the ones he said he liked.
I suddenly feel very shy, breaking our kiss I hear Finn growl at the loss of my touch.
When I finally Catch my breath and build up enough courage to look up at him his pupils are dilated, and his green eyes has something behind them I’ve never seen before.
You, clearing his throat he tries again. You okay?
Yes, I whisper.
He puts his hand under my chin to make me look at him, as soon as my eyes meet his I can’t help but kiss him again.
He doesn’t refuse me, instead he welcomes me and opens his arms hugging me as I kiss him slowly. His hands move to my neck, and further up wrapping his long fingers into my hair, an involuntary moan escapes my mouth, and Finn’s breathing quickens as he grabs my hair even tighter.
I wish this moment would never end. His touch is so intense and thrilling at the same time, I want him to take me in all ways possible, I don’t care that I don’t know him at all. I want him, no I need him.
The touch of her lips against mine makes me feel like the luckiest bastard alive. She’s the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my twenty three year of walking this damaged world. I KNOW I SHOULDN'T WANT HER, I SHOULD STAY FAR, FAR AWAY FROM HER. SHE'S TO PURE, BUT FUCK I JUST COULDN'T STAY AWAY.
I can’t and will never get enough of her, she’s so addictive. I need her, all of her but I know it’s too soon. I don’t even know if she’s been with anyone before, or that she even wants the same things I do. I've already taken to much advantage of her in her state, I just couldn't help myself. Since the day I saw her I couldn’t imagine anyone else touching HER. I was a freckles bastard the first few days after I met her. I just couldn't stop thinking about her, which then made me think about my life away from home.
I shouldn't drag her to hell with me. But fuck was she addictive.
I knew I had to have her, body and soul.
All I can say for sure is that this women on top of me, kissing my neck like it’s the first she’s ever kissed, she’s going to be mine. And I will want her for the rest of my life.
I know I hardly know her, so why am I feeling this way? Why am I letting someone in, why do I even care about her?
How can I feel so much need and desire for someone I hardly know?
As Finn pulls away breaking our kiss, it feels like he took my breath with him.
I need to get you home, he says lifting me off his lap and placing me back into my seat next to him.
I can say with no doubt that I’m one hundred percent sober now.
Finn hands me the food from the back seat, and tells me to have something to eat, well it’s more of an instruction but I obey since I haven’t had dinner yet and how can I say no to the man who just stole my heart and doesn't even know it. With one kiss he showed me more affection and adoration I could ever imagine.
I know I don’t know him at all.
But It feels like I do, I feel like I’ve known him my entire life and without him, knowing what I know now life wouldn’t be the same. I want him, need him.
As Finn pulls into the driveway he looks over to me, noticing I’ve almost finished all the food we bought.
He gives me a small smile while taking one of the fries from the box and putting it in his mount. I’ll see you tomorrow he says, moving closer to me placing a single kiss on my forehead. He got out of the car, before I could say anything.
Bye I say mostly to myself, since Finn is already inside his house leaving me with my own thoughts
Heading to the front door I notice that the lights are still on, it almost two in the morning why would someone still be up? Opening the door I realize it’s my mother, she’s been waiting for me.
She looks relieved as she takes in the sight of me.
You’re not drunk? She asks with hope in her voice.
No mom I’m fine.
Sorry I don't mean to baby you, I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. She says with a small smile.
It’s okay, I’m okay. I tell her while heading up stairs.
Love you! She yell from the bottom of the stairs. I turn back to face her giving her a small smile, you too I reply and a humorous but loving smile covers her face.
I don’t even bother taking my clothes off and putting on something comfortable, before digging my head into my pillow. I’m so tired, all I need is sleep.
Instead I keep replaying everything that happened tonight in my head, what does this all mean? What do I even want it to mean?
He is so intoxicating, he’s like my own personal brand of drug I can get high on, and I just can’t get him out of your system. I need to speak to him about all of this tomorrow, I need answers.
As I close my eyes, exhaustion takes over and my thought get heavier as I drift away.
My Body hurts as I get out of bed, my head even worse as the memories of last night make their way to the surface. I need to have a shower and clear my mind.
The water is amazing as it flows down onto my body, like it’s washing away all my embarrassment of the night before. It’s almost one, so I might as well just be lazy for today and watch a movie or read a book.
As I walk into the kitchen my mother hands me a cup of coffee. Thanks mom, I say giving her a kiss on the cheek. I should really stop being a bitch to her.
Oh love, I have to warn you we are having guests tonight.
And just like that my mood shifts.
The neighbours, remember the ones who made us that lovely dish of lasagne?
Shit! This is not happening.
Because I would have done it long ago. Things were crazy with the move and now that I have the time and the place looks good, I think we should thank them.
Her name is Lillian Boman and her husband works with your father, they also have a son. I think his name is Finn, he’s in collage.
There lovely people and it would mean a lot to me if you could be nice for once, please?
Shit, shit, shit.
Please Lisa my mother pleads breaking my thoughts.
Yeah, yeah sure I can do that I say hastily before rushing to my room.
Before shutting the door I hear my mother.
They’ll be here at five love!
What the hell am I going to do?
What am I going to wear?
I wanted to speak to Finn today, about everything that happened last night but I didn’t think that I’ll have to do it in a house full of both our family’s.
Okay first things first, I need to do my hair, makeup and then decide on what to wear.
I apply light foundation to my face, following with a small line of black eyeliner under each eye. My lips are naturally pink so I’m only using a natural lip balm.
For the final touch, I apply mascara on my lashes, not too thick. I still want to look natural.
For my hair I’m only going to take it up, I always look sophisticated this way.
I slip on my white dress. It’s a new dress, thin white straps on top and a silky material covering my entire body. Just as I put on my shoes the doorbell rings! That can’t be them already, can it? Looking at my watch it’s ten to five. Where did the time go?
My heart is racing a thousand miles a minute.
I need to go downstairs, I can hear everyone greeting each other and my brother making some funny comment, to which everyone starts to laugh.
As I make my way to the stairs, I check myself one last time in the mirror before taking the first step down the staircase.
Slowly just walk slowly, I can’t see my ass in front of everyone especially not him, I think to myself while walking down.
As I reach the kitchen, I’m welcomed by a women with short blonde hair.
She’s very friendly and hugs me as she introduces herself as Lillian next to her is my mother, a glass of wine in hand.
You look lovely my father’s voice says behind me, then he introduces me to a tall man named Christian. He’s very attractive and I can see where Finn gets his deep dimples from.
I’m having a glass of wine, I tell my mother before turning to the glass cabinet and pouring myself a glass of the red wine she’s having with Lillian. My mother gives me a worried look and it instantly pisses me off.
Relax mom I’ll behave, I whisper to her while standing next to her. She gives me a small nod and an apologetic smile.
Just as I lift the glass to my lips Finn’s beautiful face comes into place, he’s walking towards his father and my own.
My father hand him a beer and looks at me, Finn you’ve probably seen her before, but let me properly introduce you. This is my daughter Lisa my father says pointing towards me.
My face is flustered and I hope no one notices, Finn looks at me and then back to my father. Yes we’ve met before, charming girl he says with a smile.
My father lift a brow, charming he laughs. Lisa is a lot of thing but charming wouldn’t be one of them he says laughing a little louder. I give him a serious look and press my lips together.
He must have noticed me shifting uncomfortably, because he stopped laughing and gave me an apologetic smile.
Sorry dear I didn’t mean it like that, it’s just you’re not charming is all.
I give him a little nod acting like I don’t care what he just said in front of a room full of people.
I move towards the door to go into the dining room, as I walk pass Finn he grazes his hand a long my arm as I walk pass him.
Goosebumps instantly cover my entire body the instant his hands touches me. He must have noticed because he’s smiling like a little child, who just got told he can have desert before dinner.
The dinner table is set neatly. My mother went all out, she’s even using her wedding china.
My mother always knew how to cater a good event.
As I take the last sip of my wine, everyone enters the dining room, I’m going to need some more wine if I’m going to sit through all of this.
As everyone takes their seats, I rush off to find the bottle of wine on the kitchen counter. Filling my glass to the rim, I take a big sip.
Just as I swallow Finn walks into the kitchen. He’s looking gorgeous as ever, his hair is so messy, yet somehow he makes it look so good.
Your mom wants that, he says pointing to the bottle in my hand.
Pushing it to him, he smiles and takes it from me.
I’ll see you in there love he says in a whisper, which makes my entire body tingle. The fact that he called me love makes my heart almost beat out of my chest.
As I go back to the dining room there’s only one seat left. Of course it’s next to Finn.
I take my seat next to him while taking another big sip of wine, I know I shouldn’t be drinking this much but my nerves are getting the best of me.
Hi he says softly.
Hi I whisper back.
As everyone start eating the table is taken over by meaningless chatter. Everyone is talking about something, Finn is in a conversation with my brother about sports.
He even looks gorgeous just being normal.
Just as I take a bite of my salad Finn’s hand touches my leg, his hands are cold against my hot skin and it makes me jump.
Realizing we aren’t the only people in the room I take a deep breath and allow his hand to stay there.
Finn is still in a deep conversation with my brother as his hand moves higher under my dress, making my thighs press against one another.
His hand slowly moves higher, as soon as his hands reaches my underwear he slowly moves a finger over the sensitive spot on my body.
My whole body is tense, I know I look flustered but I want more. Finn’s hands doesn’t stop, slowly stroking me over and over.
If he doesn’t stop now I’m going to have a very embarrassing moment in front of a table full of guests.
Who luckily for me are all deep in conversation with one another so no one is realising what’s going on right in front of them.
I need to get up. He needs to stop.
I don’t want him to stop!
I’m done thanks. I announce standing up from the table, losing the touch of Finn’s hand.
Everyone’s looking at me now. I need to explain my sudden need to go.
Thanks for everything, I say looking to my parents. I have an early morning so I’ll be in my room.
Okay sweetie, my mother says.
It was lovely to meet you Christian and Lilian say in union.
You too have a good night I say, looking at everyone at the table except Finn.
I can’t look at him right now. If I do I think I’ll kiss him right here.
I don’t know what just happened, all I know is I didn’t want it to stop but I had no choice. I need to see Finn, I need to feel his touch again.
No I need to calm down and have a shower to ease my nerves. Yeah right, nerves more like my.. Stop thinking and just get into the shower.
I've been standing in the Shower for almost thirty minutes. When the water of the shower starts to run cold I know it's time for me to get out.
I’m not ready yet not nearly ready. I can’t face everything that has happened in the last forty eight hours, I just can’t.
I know I have to stay away from Finn, I know that it’s hopeless. He’s going back to college in less than two month, what could I possible expect from him?
Yet I can’t stop thinking about him.
As the towel covers most of my body I’m shaking, it’s freezing. I need to get into some comfortable pyjamas and get into bed, read a book or something, anything really I just need to get my mind off things.
On my way to the dresser, something catches my eye.
I almost jumped out of my skin as something, someone touches my arm.
How did you get in here? What are you doing here?
Calm down he says in that low husky voice of his.
I just needed to see if you were okay. You rushed out of there so quick I didn’t know what to think.
You don’t have to check on me Finn I’m fine. I only ran out there so quick because.. I stop myself before embarrassing myself any further.
Because what? He demands.
Nothing just leave it. You should leave Finn.
You and I both know no one’s going to come in here.
How did you even get upstairs? I demand, my voice isn’t carrying nearly as much authority as his but I hope it has enough for a straight answer.
I told them I’m late to meet a friend, and instead of leaving I came up here.
You really take long showers, he teased.
Hush! I blurt out embarrassment covering my face.
That towel looks amazing on you, Finn says moving closer to me.
My body tingles as he pulls me closer to him. He’s body is so warm, my hands can’t help themselves as they touch his chest. I can feel his heart beat and its beating faster and faster.
His hand slowly tugs at the towel around my body.
Just as the towel hits the floor Finn lifts me up, wrapping my legs around his body.
He is the definition of perfection, his arm so defined, his hand so soft but yet so manly.
He places as single kiss on my nose as he walks to the bed, holding me tight in his arms. I can’t stop looking at him, it’s like he’s my lifeline and as long as I’m in his arms I can breathe.
I have never been the type of guy to treat a girl this way. What the fuck was going on with me?
I just kissed her on her nose, what did that mean?
If she was anyone else I would have pressed her against something and had my way the fist few hours of knowing her.
She's driving me fucking crazy!
I SHOULDN'T DO THIS, I SHOULD WALK AWAY NOW, I CAN'T HAVE HER IN MY LIFE. I KNOW IF I HAVE A TASTE OF HER... I'LL NEVER WANT TO LEAVE HER.
Placing me on the edge of the bed, Finn kneels down in front of me.
His eyes meet mine and every fibre in my body is shouting, begging for him to kiss me.
I slowly make my way down his chest, taking a hold of his shirt and puling it over his head.
He’s entire chest is covered with ink, it’s too dark to make out what it is, but whatever it is it’s beautiful. And so is he.
As my eyes moves back to his, he has a pleading look in his eyes.
You.. You are the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my life.
As soon as his lips touches mine it’s over, my mind shuts down, and my body takes control.
Moving my fingers through his hair, pulling and tugging at it, making Finn move closer to me.
Our chests are touching and I can feel his heart beat against mine.
He unzips his jeans tugging at them with one hand, while cupping my breast with the other. As soon as he is free of the weight of his jeans his hand moves back up my body, making me shiver at the touch of him.
I can feel his hand moving lower and lower, until my breath is taken away completely and my head falls back allowing a small moan to escape. Finn kisses me down my neck and back up my cheek bone until he finds my lips again. Capturing it and making them his own.
I can feel every inch of him against me and it’s making me crazy I need to feel all of him.
As if reading my thoughts Finn pulls away and look at me. Have you ever, you know had sex? He looks a little embarrassed by his question.
Once. I answer simply and truthfully.
Finn looks down and I can see the pain in this eyes. I don’t like that fact that you’ve been touched by anyone else, he says in a low dangerous voice.
It was three years ago, another truthful answer.
And so have you, which I also don’t like one bit.
My little outburst makes him laugh and I can see the tension disappearing as he kisses me again.
His kisses are passionate yet very possessive, his lips moves faster and faster.
Finn stand up to pull down his boxers down. The only thing keeping me from taking what I want so desperately.
I want all of you, I whisper in his ear as he kisses my neck.
Finn slowly moves his finger between my legs making me squirm in delight.
As he repeats his movements at a slower pace, I can hear his breathing as he moves in and out of me. Looking into my eyes Finn take a hold of my neck and pulls me up to kiss me. His kisses are sloppier now, yet still very possessive.
Do you like that? He whispers into my ear, and it’s driving me crazy. I can feel the heat rising in my stomach as my legs wrap around his torso, and he fills me even deeper.
This is going to send me over the edge.
I know baby, me too he whispers against my neck as if he can hear my every thought.
I can feel his release is close as he thrusts inside me harder and deeper. My legs around his torso tighten and our bodies ignites with pleasure as I moan his name in a whisper. He allows me to bite down on his bottom lip to muffle my moan.
Finn falls down beside me pulling me closer to him, picking up one of my shirts from the floor he starts to clean me. Rubbing away all of him that covered me just seconds ago.
I don’t want to stay away from you anymore, he says into my ear.
I’m not even going too argue, this man sees right through my bullshit, and he know that.
Then don’t. I answer without looking back at him, instead I burry my head into his arms and start drifting away.
As the morning sun brushes over her face she looks so peaceful, angelic really. She is the most beautiful women I have ever seen, her hair is covering up half of her face but I can still see every curve of her gorgeously sculpted features.
Her lashes are extremely long, seriously I’ve never seen lashes that long, it hovers over her eyes like a blanket. Her little nose is cringed up as she sleeps peacefully.
I don’t want to leave without saying goodbye to her, that’s how much power she already has over me. But I need to get out of the house while everyone is still asleep.
I am REALLY, REALLY FUCKED. Now that I know what having her feels like, there is no way I'll be able to let her go.
My bed feels empty as I wake from my deep sleep, the best sleep I have had in days.
I stretch my arm out to find Finn’s body but he’s nowhere to be found.
I know it would have been extremely weird this morning, especially if my parents had seen him, so I’m grateful for his absence.
For once I don’t dread the day ahead I welcome it, because I know I’ll see him again.
Walking down to the kitchen, my mind re-plays the night before in my head and I can’t help but smile.
My brother is sitting on the counter with a bowl of cereal in hand, my mother and father having coffee close by.
Want some honey?
Her eyes follow me all the way around the kitchen counter, until I am sitting right across from her.
Do you have plans for today? She asks with a warm smile.
Deciding to go with the giddy feeling I’m feeling this morning, I say no and ask her if she would like to do something together today.
My mother’s reaction is priceless, and she’s very excited as she decides on taking me to the mall today.
I’ll go get ready she squeals and hurries upstairs.
My father turns to me giving me a small chuckle, you better get up there he says while taking a sip of his coffee.
Walking upstairs I can hear my mother huffing about what to wear.
Mom just go with jeans and a top something easy, a sweatshirt maybe. I shout and she starts to laugh.
Okay sweetie, are you..
But before she can finish my head pops around her door frame, yes mom I’m wearing that as well.
She always gets so excited about thing, must be where my brother gets his energy from.
I decide on something simple, jeans and a sweatshirt. While getting ready my eyes keep going to the window, maybe in hopes to see him or maybe just because I can’t stop thinking about him and everything that happened the night before.
For now I’m just going to enjoy my day and hopefully I’ll see him soon.
Your mother is already in the car my Father tells me as I get downstairs.
Okay see you soon, I shout back while walking out the door.
The malls in this Town are all the same to me, at least they have decent things.
We should have breakfast first my mom says, while looking at a green dress that in my opinion would go lovely with her blue eyes.
We decide on a small Italian place, the food here is good and I know my mother loves this place.
My dad brought us all here one night to celebrate the move and she’s been talking about their food ever since.
So sweetie, what did you think about Finn? You know the neighbours boy, she asks just as I take a bite of my food, making me chew even longer than usual to avoid answering her question for as long as possible.
After what feels like forever I swallow my food and answer her, he’s nice.
Oh he’s more than nice, he’s so handsome.
You are about the same age, you know. Pity he’s going back to college in three weeks.
And then it hit me.
Finn is going back to college in the fall, which is in three weeks. What was I thinking falling for a man I could never be with? The realization hits me hard and my stomach turns.
I’m not that hungry anymore I say while pushing my plate away from me.
My mother gives me a worrying look.
Are you okay?
Yes mom I’m fine.
After breakfast we walked through all the shops we thought had potential. We bought a lot of unnecessary things.
My mother got me a lot of stuff some of which are very cute, she even got that green dress for “date night” or so she called it.
It’s almost two and I’m tired.
Can we go? My mother asked me, as if she knew what I was thinking.
Yeah I think we got a lot done today, thanks for everything mom.
Sure honey, it was nice to spend some time together like we use to.
As we pull into the driveway Finn is the first thing I see. He’s working on something with his father in their garage.
He instantly catches my eye, he’s wearing nothing but a black boxing short, so you can see every tattoo he has, he looks incredible as usual.
He swiftly makes his way towards the car and offers to help us carry all the bags inside. He greets my mother and then comes over to me, pulling me into his arms hugging me while whispering into my ear “I missed you”.
His warm breath sends chills down my spine.
As soon as he pulls away my body aches at the loss of his touch.
As soon as all the bags are inside, Finn turs around to look at me.
Do you want to go out sometime? He asks.
Uh yeah sure, my voice carrying much more excitement than I intended it to. Which makes Finn’s smile even brighter.
I’ll see you tonight then, he says giving me a little wink leaving me standing there with nothing but hope and excitement.
I honestly don’t know what I am expecting, it’s not like I’m going to collage with him, and he sure as hell isn’t staying here, especially not for a “summer fling”.
Finn has a good life ahead of him so do I, I just don’t know what the hell I want to do with it yet.
My mother distracts me from my thoughts.
At least you have a lot of new clothing to choose from she squeals. Which makes me roll my eyes.
Thanks again I say while grabbing my thing, to see what I’m wearing tonight.
My room is a mess but I don’t want to think about that right now, all I want to do is try on all my new clothes and decide on what to wear for my first date with Finn.
We basically skipped the traditional dating steps and went right in for the take.
But tonight is going to be different, it will be my chance to really get to know him.
I decide on a little black dress and small heels. It’s a classic, not too formal but not informal either. I don’t have a clue where we're going or what time he’s picking me up.
It’s four now so I hopefully have some time for my hair and makeup. Just a natural face and decent looking hair.
Finn hasn’t shown up yet and I’m starting to wonder if maybe he isn’t going to.
I need some fresh air, walking to my window I draw away the curtains and open the window for the summer breeze to flow through my room.
My heart drops to the floor and shatters into a million pieces as I see Finn in his room with another girl!
They aren’t doing anything, calm down I tell myself. But look at her, she looks feirce. Her long black hair falls down her back like a river of sin. Her olive skin makes mine look like a corpse.
It actually looks like their having a fight.
Does he have a girlfriend?
Of Couse he does have you seen the man, my subconscious answers. And I hate her for it.
Was he cheating?
Pushing the thought away I take a step back, I can’t let them see me. I can’t let Finn know how much of a hold he has over me, or how much this hurts. God I can’t even admit that to myself yet.
Backing away slowly, my body freezes as Finn’s eyes find mine.
He searches my face with worrying eyes.
He must be able to see the disgust in my eyes because he opens his window and calls my name.
Lisa, Lisa it’s not what you think I swear it. He says while leaning out the window.
My body still hasn’t moved an inch, this isn’t happening. My entire world feels like it’s crashing down, and for what a one night stand.
I’m stronger than this, walking over to the window I shut it and close the curtains leaving Finn standing there just as hopeless as I feel.
Wiping off most of my makeup and kicking off my shoes, I curl up on my bed. I will not give him the satisfaction of crying. But I can’t stop the little drops falling from my eyes over my cheeks.
This is not happening, I am not crying over a guy I hardly even know. I am not this person.
But this is what he does to me, I know it’s insane to be so utterly consumed by a person but Finn had my heart and soul, the minute he rang that doorbell.
His eyes unlocked my heart, his lips stole my soul and I am completely and utterly consumed by him.
A loud knock on my door drags me away from my “pity party”.
It’s me, can I come in please? Finn’s voice echo’s thorough the house.
No go away!
But he doesn’t obey, he walks in only to see me looking like a mess.
I don’t want you here Finn.
Lisa just give me five minutes to explain to you what you saw. It’s honestly not what you think, I was just.
Just what Finn! Fighting with your girlfriend?
No of course not, don’t be like that she’s not my girlfriend!
So what? You just have random girls in room before dates?
My patience is wearing thin, I can see that Finn is close to his braking point as well, I just couldn’t care less.
I ask again hoping for a simple answer.
Finn has his head in both his hands pacing up and down the room.
She’s a friend from campus okay, that’s it.
That’s not it! You were fighting, what were you fighting about?
What the fuck should I tell her? I should just tell her it was a fling from my past? That would just piss her off idiot! Well you can't tell her the truth now can you dick head?? How do you explain that your gang needs you back sooner than you thought.
She can definitely tell when I’m talking bullshit anyway.
Look at her, look at her eyes she’s been crying and I hate myself for making her feel this way. But I can’t deny that I’m relieved to know she feels this strongly about me. Just tell her or you’ll lose her. I can’t lose her.
So I went with the first thing that came into my mind. Better make it damn believable.
She's a friend from campus. We hooked up once and she wanted more, I couldn't give her that so I let her down easily.
That should be believable enough.
We had a thing back at collage. Nothing serious, we just hung out a few times and kissed once. She thought it was more and came here to surprise me.
I told her that what happened between us was nothing, she’s a good friend and nothing more, and she should go back to campus.
That’s it love. I swear.
Just hearing those words falling from his lips make me want to jump back into his arms. I hate it that he has so much control over me.
I can’t deny the relieve I feel about the whole situation. The thought of Finn with another girl makes me sick to my stomach.
Okay I whisper softly, causing Finn to grin from ear to ear.
Okay then, he says back. Can we go to dinner now?
No I have already taken off all my makeup, and I don’t feel like going out anymore.
He looks disappointed. But it fades away as soon as I stand up and walk towards him. We can stay in and watch a movie? My parents are going out tonight and my brother has plans with his friends.
That sound better than going out, he says in his low husky voice I love so much.
Okay then, what type of movies do you like?
We can watch anything you like love.
A classic it is then.
You are going to make me watch some sappy love story aren’t you?
Maybe, my words come out in a giggle and Finn starts to laugh.
He has the most incredible laugh ever, one that makes you want to laugh. His deep dimples makes him look younger, but his strong jaw line has the opposite affect and it’s like having the best of both worlds.
A knock on the door makes me jump a little, Finn looks as calm as ever as my father and mother open the door.
We are leaving now honey, my mother’s voice is soft and comforting.
Have you been crying? My dad’s overprotective voice echoes into my room.
No dad, my eyeliner burnet my eyes so I took it off. My voice carries authority, as it does when I need to defend myself.
Okay just checking he says looking over at Finn, who is still so calm. Why is he so calm? I honestly don’t know how he does it. He never looks worried about anything.
Enjoy your night sweetie my mother says before leaving, and be safe my father voice yells from behind her as they close the bedroom door.
As soon as the door closes Finn pulls me into his arm. That was fun he smirks, I think your father likes me.
They both do.
My mother actually said you’re more than nice.
I love the way his chest moves against me a he laughs at my word.
We spent the rest of the night talking nonsense and learning every little thing about each other.
It’s almost eleven, Finn’s laying on my lap pulling at my pants fighting me to take them off. He’s not getting what he wants though, I’m having too much fun learning about his childhood. And making fun of his collage nick name, he really does bring out the best in me.
Okay fine if you don’t want to comply, at least give me a kiss. Leaning forward I give him the faintest kiss on his lips. Which makes him pull me down kissing me harder.
It’s almost your birthday he whispers. What do you want to do?
What I actually should say is, when I just got here I promised myself I wouldn’t spend my birthday in this shithole of a town, but now I can’t imagine spending it anywhere else. But instead I answer simply, nothing really it’s just a reminder that I’m getting older.
Age bothers you?
Not age specifically, just the fact that I haven’t really done anything with my life.
You just finished school, relax what’s the rush?
No rush, I just don’t really know if I still want to take the year off. It’s not too late to submit transcripts is it?
No you still have three weeks.
Finn’s voice softens as he says in a whisper, I have less than one month left before heading back to campus.
My heart hurts at the sound of the sadness in his voice.
Let’s not think about that, let’s just enjoy this moment.
It’s my Birthday tomorrow, and almost time for Finn to head back to college.
I know I shouldn’t be so afraid of what’s to come, we have only known each other for three months, exactly one summer.
We made the best of the time we had together, we saw each other every day went on what seems like a hundreds of dates. He never left my side and I never left his. The time we spent together has been the best of my life, I have never felt this way about anyone.
I had in the meantime applied to all the close by colleges, there’s only two in the district. One is where Finn goes and the other is about a 7 hour’s away.
My grades are good, so I shouldn’t have a problem getting in unless there is no spots available in the dorms.
Finn has been helping me writing transcripts and finding a major. I still don’t know what my major will be, but I’m excited to know that we both will be heading in the same direction. Maybe a few hour away but we will both be thriving, doing something with our lives.
Meeting Finn has made me want to be better, I am completely and utterly in love with him. I may still be afraid of what’s to come, but Finn has assured me that he will be by my side.
Hi almost birthday girl!
My mother says while fixing herself some coffee.
Do you have any plans with Finn today? I honestly think my mother has been more excited about this “relationship” then Finn and I.
Yes he is picking me up in a few minutes, we’re going to get some things for the party.
Finn insisted on inviting all my friend and having a party for my birthday. He wants to meet them all he said.
Are you ready love? Finn’s voice breaks through the door. Walking up to me, he places a small kiss on my nose.
Morning Mrs. Everly Finn walks to my mother giving her a small hug. Then he turns his attention back to me. We are getting a lot of things today, the party is tomorrow.
Did you invite everyone?
Yes I did, well mostly. I can’t tell Finn that I left out a few people on the guest list, in fear that my ex might be a plus one. Instead I say “let’s get going.”
Yeah sure, he says while grabbing my bag and pulling me.
He opens the door to the passage side and waits until I’m buckled up before closing the door and walks to his side.
As soon as he’s inside he turns to face me. Let me greet you properly babe, he say while leaning in to kiss me. The touch of him still makes me so nervous, and I can’t think straight when I’m with him. His kisses are more possessive than ever. It’s a thrilling feeling that I can’t get enough of.
As he kisses me more passionately, I pull him closer finding his tong. I suck on it lightly as he kisses me harder. If you keep kissing me like this, we aren’t going anywhere today he whispers into my mouth.
Pulling away from him slowly, he pulls me back for one more kiss. There’s a lot of time for that later darling.
I love the little pet names he has for me, the words sounds like home coming from his mouth.
The mall is buzzing with people, Finn takes my hand and leads me to the nearest entrance. I can’t help but admire him from behind, he is truly the most handsome man ever.
He’s wearing black low cut jeans and a black long sleeve shirt. The black ink showing at the top of his neckline makes him look intimidating, yet very sexy. I haven’t told him yet, but I’m in love with him. I love Finn and I don’t ever want to be without him.
As she lets go of my hand and rushes towards the party decorating isle, I can’t help but smile at her.
She’s like a little child in a candy store, the teddy bear she’s trying to hold up to show me is bigger than her entire body. She’s the love of my life, and she doesn’t even know it. Fuck I shouldn't even have someone so special in my life, not in my line of business.
When I went up north for school years back I nevr thought I would be the leader of the biggest gang in the north.
I didn't even wnat to be at first. Slowly it became my life and my crew became my family.
My father kept this big secret from me and my mother for years. My mother still doesn't know but two years ago my father came to see me, told me everything. He wanted me to take over part time at first, but that live came so easily to me I took over within two months of knowing.
It's almost time for me to go back, I can't even think about letter her stay here all alone unprotected. There's a reason I haven't taken her out in crowded and popular places.
I didn't want anyone from rival gangs to know about her, a leader shouldn't have a weakness.
God know she was mine.
I can’t even think about the fact that in three days, I will have to go back to college without her. Back to my life.
I always though love was something fictional, but now I know it's true, it exists.
I can’t take my eyes away from her, she is and will always be the only women I want.
I never thought I would find myself completely and utterly consumed by another person, since I took over I knew I could never have a happy ending. Until I met her.
Babe let’s get this, she squeals which catches me off guard. She has never called me babe or baby or any pet name before, she usually only calls me by my name.
She’s holding up a big banner which reads “Happy not your birthday”.
I should tell her that it’s very unpractical and not everyone would get it, instead I say.
I love you, I love you so much.
The words leave my mouth before I can stop myself.
She’s quite now, just observing me maybe she thinks I didn’t mean it. Maybe she doesn’t love me? Fuck what if she doesn’t feel the same?
Say something, I whisper softly not wanting to scar her any more than I already have.
I, I love you Finn.
I’ve loved you from the first day I met you. She whispers so softly I barely hear her. But I do, I hear every word and its music to my ears.
She loves me!
I’m next to her in an instant, kissing her like my life depends on it. I love you so much I say again. I can’t get enough of her, what a lucky bastard I am to have this amazing women love me.
Let’s go somewhere she whispers into my ear through her little pants. She definitely doesn’t have to invite me twice. Looking around I find an emergency stairwell, I pull my girl in and lock it behind us. After looking around making sure no one is inside, I pick her up holding her against the wall.
She’s perfectly made for me, her small body fits perfect in both my hands as I lift her up higher pulling down her underwear.
This has to be a quick one love. She only nods at me, she’s already out of breath. She’s always completely ready for me. I love the affect I have on her body.
Pulling down my jeans with one hand, I grab the condom out of my pocket and tear it open with my mouth. I quickly slip it over and lower my knees so I can lower her down on to me.
She feels so good as I enter her, her lip press together as I move in and out of her. I can’t keep my eyes away from her, she’s angelic.
Pressing her against the wall I move faster in and out of her.
The soft little moans escaping her mouth makes me want to finish right here right now, but I can’t I have to finish her first I remind myself before I completely get lost in her.
Her breath quickens and her legs tighten around my waist, as do mine as I feel myself going deeper into her. All it takes is for her to moan my name once as she reaches her climax, and I’m goner.
My legs feel weak as I lift her off me, and pull up her panties.
You do wild things to women, I tell her while pulling up my jeans.
A little embarrassing giggle escapes her mouth as she swats at me.
Let’s go, I say while opening the door.
She follows and grabs a hold of my hand.
The rest of the day goes by quick, we had lunch at her favourite place and bought a lot of nonsense, actually useless thing for her party.
The drive back home is long, we got stuck in traffic for a while and I can see she’s tired. As I pull into the driveway she sits up straight, her face lights up as she observes the two girls standing outside.
There here! She shouts at the top of her lungs. My girl really does get excited about the little things, the car isn’t even at a still and she’s already half way out the door.
My two best friends from my home town has decided to come two days early, just like I knew they would. I haven’t seen them in almost three month, Shera and Madison has been in my life since I can remember.
Our parents were friend long before we were born, so we all grew up together. I’m excited for Finn to meet some of my friends since he is a big part of my life now.
After hugging both of them for what feels like forever, I turn to look for Finn. He’s already off-loading the car, we really did buy a lot of things.
Baby! I yell and he looks surprised to see me calling him that in front of peoples. But I don’t care what anyone thinks, I love him and he loves me, he’s mine and I want everyone to know.
My friends on the other hand looks just a surprise as Finn, there both stunned as Finn walks up to us with bags in hand.
This is Shera and Madison. Guys this is, but before I can finish he says “her boyfriend” I’m her boyfriend.
Finn noticed my smile and gives me a wink before walking to the house.
I’ll get all the things inside you girls go ahead and catch-up he says while giving me a small kiss as he walks closer to the door.
As Finn walks away Madison and Shera looks my way, OMG they both say in union. He’s a ten!
He really is sweet, giving you some time with us. You can clearly see he can’t stand being apart from you. Guys I love him, I've never felt this way about anyone! OMG I'm so fuckin happy.
The next morning I feel great, I haven’t been this happy in a long time.
My mind instantly goes to Finn and I reach for my phone.
“Good morning birthday girl. I’ll see you soon I love you so much” the message reads.
Leaving the girls to sleep in, I head downstairs for some coffee.
Hey! Happy Birthday my parents echo in union, and my brother basically sleepwalks behind them.
Thanks mom, dad. After hugging them both a little too long for my liking they hand me gift box. The crinkled pink and purple wrapping around it makes it look like it was wrapped by a two year old, and I instantly know my father did it.
Inside the box is a little heart charm, they have been adding onto my bracelet since I was twelve.
Thank you, I love it guys!
Your mother seems to think it’s appropriate to give you this one, since you “found love” my father teases with air quotes and we all start laughing.
Yes dad I do love him. My father looks at me a little shocked and my mother starts to cry.
Oh no mom don’t cry! But it’s no use she’s all but sobbing now.
My father hands her a tissue and looks at me. If you’re happy I’m happy sweetie.
That means a lot dad thanks, and thank you both for the gift.
Oh wait my mother voice starts building up again, have you seen outside?
Outside? What do you mean?
I hope there wasn’t a storm and the back yard is still in place, I need to start decorating soon.
As I walk around the house to the back yard, my eyes instantly fills with tears as I take in the view in front of me.
Finn is shirtless in the middle of a huge white gazebo, he must have stayed up all night doing this. The back yard is covered with white and purple balloons, a big banners covers the most of the gazebo, it reads “Happy not your Birthday”.
You did all this for me! But before Finn can actually turn around I’m on top of him.
Thank you, thank you, and thank you!
It’s beautiful baby I love it, I love you!
I’m glad you like it love, I want you to have the best night ever.
He says while covering my entire face with little kisses.
I have a few things to do, but I’ll be here in a few hours with your gift.
It’s obvious that I’m blushing, I really didn’t expect anything from him but he always seems to amaze me.
Most of my guests have arrived.
There is music playing and crowds of people everywhere. My parents booked into a hotel for the night and my brother is spending the night with some friends. I have promised them that nothing will happen to the house while they are gone.
Everyone seems to enjoy themselves, everyone except me. Finn still hasn’t come back yet and it’s almost eight. I miss him so much, I just can’t help but wonder where he is.
Looking around I see Madison, it looks like she’s arguing with someone and I immediately walk over to her. Just as I’m about to reach her his face comes into place.
Shit! It’s Derick, my ex.
What is he doing here? My voice pierce through the crowded room.
As Derick catches my eyes my heart starts to race, this can't be happening! Fuck! If Finn has to find him here he’s dead.
Finn is much taller and much more muscular than Derick.
Derick has more of a boyish look about him, but don’t let that fool you he’s a big reason I didn’t fight the move here so much.
With Derick I was careless, it wasn’t love at all it was mostly just keeping ourselves busy. I can’ t let Finn see him, I have told him all about Derick and my past but I’ll never forget the face he made every time Derick’s name was mentioned.
Just as I’m about to pull his arm and yank him out of the house, my own arm gets pulled aside.
Hey darling, sorry I’m late. Finn speaks.
My body’s ice cold, I can see he’s had a few drinks already.
Hey, is all I can manage to say.
Give me a kiss he says, pulling me in. I can see Derricks face from the corner of my eye, I know if I show him that I care he’s here it will only give him motive to stay.
Swallowing the anger building up, I close my eyes and kiss Finn.
I love the way you taste I whisper, without saying anything he pulls me in kissing me more passionate then before.
Should we get a drink? He asks once his lips are off mine.
Yeah sure, pulling him to the opposite direction we find a keg standing aside the door. Finn pours us both a cup of the cheap beer someone brought, it’s not bad he says after shooting down the whole cup.
I’ve never seen him like this, he usually looks after me not the other way around.
Are you okay?
Come with me he answers, pulling me upstairs to my room.
The silence in my room is getting thick and it’s making me nervous.
Finn clears his thought and it makes me jump a bit.
I got a call from campus today, I can see the hurt in his eyes as he speaks his words and it makes me sick to my stomach.
My entire body is shaking as I ask him the inevitable.
Do you have to go back sooner?
He doesn’t answer me, only shakes his head.
Tomorrow afternoon, I have to be on campus by six p.m.
It feels like a little part of my heart is ripped from my chest as I stare into his deep green eyes.
That’s okay it’s only two week until acceptance letters arrive, and I’ll know where I was accepted to. We’ll still see each other and we’ll talk every day.
It will be like you never left.
He lift his head to look at me, and the little glimpse in his eyes makes me sure that we’ll be okay.
I love you, you know that right?
He says in a whispered voice.
Of course I do.
Now let’s just enjoy the time we have together.
I don’t want to leave this room, he says pulling my arm towards the bed. If I only have tonight with you, I don’t want to share you with anyone.
I give him a little laugh but oblige, to be honest I don’t want to share him with anyone else either.
Here, he says holding out a little box wrapped in glittering black paper.
As I open the little box Finn’s eyes stay on me.
Inside the little box is the most beautiful, daintiest locket necklace I have ever see. On the one side of the locket is the first photo we took together, and on the other side it reads “until my hearts stops beating”. The words itself makes me want to cry.
Thank you, I manage to say while fighting my tears.
It’s so you don’t forget me when I leave.
Forget you? How can I forget you? You’re taking my heart with you Finn.
He smiles and pulls me in for a kiss.
Wait I have to tell you something, the words come out before I can stop myself.
Finn’s posture instantly tenses, what is it?
Derick is here I blurt out before I can back out.
As the words leave my mouth his face tenses and his eyebrow arches. I can see his hand form into fists, shit what have I done?
He still hasn’t said anything, so I decide to continue.
I didn’t speak to him and I’m not planning on it, we aren’t leaving this room tonight.
His face relaxes as he simply answers “you damn right we not, fuck Derick”
We both laugh at his words and my heart feels at ease as he pulls me in, holding me to his chest.
A few minutes pass before he looks down at me, giving me a dazed smile.
He brings his mouth down and kisses me just under my belly button. His tongue swirls around my creamy skin and my eyes flutter closed. He nips at the soft skin covering my hip and I yelp in surprise.
I want to make love to you he whisper.
I love this man with all my being, I have no idea how I’ll survive without him.
Small tears run from my eyes, and somehow it feels like I have found my peace.
Finn moves up and cups my cheek, wiping my tears away with his thumb. Don’t cry darling he says while fighting his own tears.
I’m a mess, I whisper to him lifting my head so that our eyes can meet.
“An undeniable, beautiful, chaotic mess” he corrects me.
After making passionate love too each other for what seems like hours, Finn pulls me up to my feet.
Have a shower with me? He looks beautiful in the glister sweat that covers his body.
Following him into the bathroom, he turn on the water and we both watch as the bathroom fills with steam.
It’s ready he says before taking my hand and helping me into the shower.
The hot water stings, but there is something so sensual about it that I don’t mind the pain. Finn washes my body as I stand in silence observing every inch of his perfectly sculpted feature.
After were both clean and the water has almost ran cold Finn holds out his shirt.
I want you to sleep in this tonight he says, I oblige and take the shirt form him.
As I pull the shirt over my body, I observe him as he pulls up his briefs.
“The noise down stairs have calmed down, and most of the guest must have left already”. He says, while walking to the bed.
Come here, it’s cold he says and pulls me down onto the bed. I have had such a long day and my mind just wants to shut off. Laying here in Finn’s arms, I am at peace I feel no longer afraid, no longer alone all I feel is happiness and undeniable love.
I rest my head on his chest and close my eyes, waiting for sleep to come.
The morning air brushes over me as my mind regains itself. Opening my eyes I find Finn staring out the window.
I have already tidied up, he says while staring at me from afar. He looks beautiful, my heart hurts at the thought of saying goodbye today.
Thank you, when did you get up?
I didn’t, he says in his low husky voice.
You didn’t sleep?
I didn’t want to waste my time sleeping, I had to see you.
You stared at me while I was sleeping?
Yes all night, he says like it’s totally normal.
Oh is all I say, he must be so tired. I was asleep as soon as my head touched his chest.
You snore when you sleep, he teases.
Do not! I protest throwing him with a pillow.
He picks it up and walks my way, I have already packed so we can spend the entire day together. I’m taking you out today he says.
Where are we going?
It’s a surprise.
Okay, what should I wear?
After having a shower and getting dressed I find Finn by the car, already ready to go. You ready? He asks.
As I’ll ever be.
We’ve been driving for what seems like hours, I’m hungry I moan like a little child.
Just a little while longer Finn promises.
True to his word we take the next turn off. I can see a fares wheel in the air and loud music, with joyful voices in the distance. It’s a fair! I love fairs, I remember telling Finn about my first time going to one. It was one of my favourite memories as a child.
As we find a place to park Finn grabs my hand, I love you he whispers.
And I love you, can we please go!
Finn laughs but gets out of the car. “Let’s go have some fun baby girl” he teases.
I knew she would love it here, my parents use too bring me here every holiday. This one first she yells, while pulling me in all directions.
After going on what seems like fifty different rides we decided to get something to eat.
At the far end of the fair is a little Mexican stand, it has a lot of her favourite food on the menu and I know she’ll love it.
Have you decided yet? The young waitress asks. Looking at me with her come get me eyes. Little does she know, the only women I would ever want is sitting in front of me.
After giving her our orders we started talking about life at collage.
I know the next two weeks will be difficult without her, but it’s worth the wait to have her with me forever. She’s my girl, and nothing will change that.
As much as I want her to be on the same campus as me I just cat allow her to be so close, she would be in tk much danger.
Of course I want her to go to college, it would just be better if she got into the one a out an hour or so away from me. Cross the northern line where outer Gans can't go. Still in the north, which is my territory but not close enough for her to be in any kind of danger.
I already told my inner gang about her. They should know and I don't keep anything from them. The more people who can protect he rthe better.
After our meal, we headed back to the car.
We can spend the rest of the day watching a movie or just being lazy in your room, I tell her once we in the car.
She doesn’t seem to notice me talking, which makes me look at her a little more closely.
Love, are you okay? I ask.
I think I’m going to be sick, she says while getting out of the car.
I instantly get out to follow her. “No go back I don’t want you to see this she says.
I’m not going anywhere I protest.
Holding back her hair, I stand in silence waiting for her to let everything she had to eat during today out.
It must be the rides she says as she wipes her mouth.
Must be, are you okay now?
Yes, can we please go now?
I can see she’s tired and burnt out.
Sure let’s go, I say while taking her back to the car. After making sure she is buckled in I get into the driver’s seat and head home.
As we pull into the driveway, Madison and Shera is standing outside. They must be heading back home.
After hugging them both and thanking them for coming, Finn and I head inside.
“I’ll make you so tea” he says while putting on the boiler.
I must say, I feel much better now.
It’s about an hour before Finn has to leave, and my heart hurts more and more by the second.
After putting my cup down next to me, Finn puts his arm round me and holds me tight. “It’s almost time love” he says.
I know I whispers back.
I really don’t want to leave when you're feeling sick.
I’m fine now, you don’t have to worry about me.
Of course I do, you’re my girl.
Fuck I'm going to miss her.
After talking a little while longer Finn heads off to get his bags. My heart feels empty at the loss of his touch.
As he returns I follow him outside, after packing his bags in the car and greeting his parents he turn his attention towards me.
He pulls me in and holds me tight.
I love you so, so much he whispers through my hair. I’m going to miss you every second until you’re with me again.
I love you Finn, always. Please be safe.
He pulls me in and kisses me. His kisses are different, soft and loving still a hint of possessiveness but loving at the same.
“I have to go now before I decide to stay, he says.
Giving him one last kiss, I watch as he gets in the car and drive away. My heart feels empty without him, like I don’t even exist. Without him I am only half a person.
Driving away from her was the most difficult thing I have ever had to do, coming from a gang leader that says a lot.
I so badly want to turn back, and drag her into the house and never let her go again, but that would be selfish.
I want to be selfish with her, keep her all to myself. What is a man without a heart? I know with no doubt in my mind, the women I left standing there has my heart. No question about it.
I will build a future for her. Even if I have to kill all the rival gangs to it. And hopefully one day have the honour of making an honest women out of her.
I love her with all that I have and nothing will ever change that.
As soon as Finn’s car is out of sight I let go off the breath I didn’t know I was holding. As I go inside the house, my body trembles and my vision blurs up with tears.
Heading up to my room, I walk toward the bathroom. Just being here makes me want to cry, I can still smell Finn everywhere in my room.
On the sink is a note with a folded black T shirt.
I pick up the shirt and unfold it, its Finn’s. It still smells just like him, instantly I take off my own shirt and pull the one he left for me over my head.
After I pick up the letter and start to read.
“The almost three moths I spent with you has been the best time of my life.
I can’t tell you how much of me will be left behind as I leave tomorrow. You are the one, I know it, I knew it since the day I met you, and you slammed the door in my face.
My little firecracker.
I love absolutely everything about you, you make me want to be a better man.
Whatever happens I know we will find our way back to each other.
I WILL see you aging love, even if I have to burn the world down.
I love you so much Lisa.
After reading the letter I can’t help but cry, I love you too I whisper to myself.
I can’t imagine my life without Finn, but I have to let him go for now. I can’t expect him to give up on his dreams for me.
I will figure out what I want to do with my life, start working on building myself up and I will find him. He will be mine and I will be his.
It has nearly been a month since Finn went back to school.
We have been talking almost every day.
He has been so busy with classes and I have been.. well I have been trying to get into a collage near him.
I haven’t had any luck so far. I have applied to every collage in the district waiting and hoping for an acceptance letter to arrive, honestly any acceptance letter would be great right about now. The acceptance letters were sent out two weeks ago and still nothing has arrived.
Lisa mail! My mother’s voice pitches through the house.
As I get down stairs I notice two envelopes, one small and one larger.
I can see the excitement on my mother’s face as I pick up the envelops, before I could have a look at either of them she cries out – you got in!
I got in, I got into the same collage as Finn! I have to let him know. I have to start packing, the new semester has already begun a few days ago.
Mom come and help me pack, I need to get a few things but first I need to give Finn a call.
Sitting here waiting for Finn to answer my face call I can feel heat rising to my face, I miss him so much and now I will be able to see him whenever I want.
My call was declined. My heart aced at the thought of Finn declining my call, selfish and childish I know, but I really just wanted to see him.
I'm pulled out of my pity party when my phone rings, Finns name lights up the screen.
I don't waste anytime answering.
Hi love, there is that deep husky voice I miss so much.
Sorry we couldn't face time, I'm in a class.
Hey, it's fine. I need to tell you something. I can basically hear him bite his knuckles. Picture the tension in his face like he’s bracing himself for some horrible news.
I got in!
The line was quite for a few seconds, Finn you there?
I'm here baby.
I can’t wait to hold you again, I’ve missed you so much.
I have missed you too, word can’t describe how much I’ve missed you. He says in his deep voice giving me chills. He always says exactly what I need to hear.
I have to start packing now but I will be driving down tomorrow, I’ll be there around 14:00 I love you Finn.
I love you to love, drive safe I can’t wait to hold you again. I don't know if it's just my imagination but I could hear something in his voice, something unfamiliar. Something I never thought I would hear in his voice - uncertainty.
I was so happy I couldn't let that distract me.
As I end the call my heart feels like it’s about to explode, I am so happy it hurt.
After packing almost all of my things into boxes my father helped me load the car. I’m beyond nervous but the excitement of seeing Finn drowns all of my nerves.
Tomorrow I will see him!