Before You Say Goodbye

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Chapter 12

For me, it was also the day when I showed Douglas and his parents my new self-confidence as a woman, which I had gained through Richard. We entered the courtroom in a very elegant pantsuit, pumps, discreet make-up, and holding Richard’s hand. I let nothing of my nervousness leak out. Richard’s birthday ring was on my hand as an engagement ring. This little fuss saw Richard’s mother who, seeing this, smiled mischievously and co-conspiratorially at me. I don’t know if Richard noticed. For everyone else in the room, I held my hand so that they had to see him.

The courtroom was almost empty. Only one journalist sat in the last row. With Richard’s parents, I sat in the first one, directly behind my Richard. The judge asked everyone their names, told them their rights and duties, as well as Douglas and Ali the offense they were accused of. Even at this point, Douglas and Ali denied their crime. With two state-sponsored defense attorneys at each of their sides, they appeared confident and arrogant. I looked at his mother, who was sitting behind him. She, too, was looking at me at that moment with a threatening look. Startled by this cold look, I only looked at Richard and thought of our daughter.

An expert described the road situation and how the accident occurred from his point of view. The cold-bloodedness with which the two must-have proceeded made me shudder. It was only on this day that I realized that it was Richard’s enormous speed of reaction and his fitness alone that saved his life. Douglas became more and more entangled in contradictions during the questioning. Seeing no way out, he even claimed that his act of desperation, as his lawyer then alleged. Richard was my lover and I wanted to foist the child on him, he finally claimed. Horror ran through me when I heard his claim. I was furious, wanted to stand up and shout out the truth that Katharina was the child of his rape. I looked to Richard for help and saw a small smile on his face, which was usually very tense in court. The judge passed over Douglas’s claim. Nine years imprisonment was then the sentence of the court. That they tried to kill Richard, probably only because I left him, he saw as proven. In his reasoning for the sentence, he once again referred to the insidiousness and base motives they had to get Richard out of the way. On the way out, his mother called me a bitch. Hearing her insult, I hugged my Richard, kissed him provocatively in front of her, and held out my ringed hand to her, smiling as I looked back. She could not hurt me anymore.

Upset from the whole day, we lay awake in bed holding each other for a long time.

“Why did you smile? When Douglas claimed that I wanted to foist a child on him.”

“Do I have to answer that question now?” He asked back.

Not expecting such an answer, I lay down on his chest and looked into his face. “Please, tell me.”

He looked at me. Slowly he put his hands on my back and I heard his deep breathing. “I don’t know if this is the right time to talk to you about this. But since you probably won’t give it a rest, I’ll try. I just ask you that nothing will change between us, even if you might think differently about this topic than I do. Douglas claimed in court that he is not Katharina’s father. But I would like to be her real father. Of course, when she is old enough to understand, we would tell her that she is not descended from me. Just as I see you as the woman at my side and not just as a companion in life, I see Katharina as our common daughter. With this decision, however, you would then no longer have a claim to maintenance payments from Douglas.”

There was a feeling of endless silence in our bed. Tears rolled out of my eyes. One dripped onto his face.

Misunderstanding my tear completely, he said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” and pressed me to him. My arms wrapped around his head and with all the strength at my disposal.

I now pressed him tightly against me. “Richard, I love you and have nothing against Katharina becoming your child. On the contrary.” And sobbed out loud.

His hands stroked through my hair and over my back. The more I calmed down again the higher my neck hairs stood up. Just by this stroking already butterflies flew in my stomach. He kissed the remaining tears from my eyes and gently on my mouth. The soft touches of my lips become a nibble. I detached myself from him, looking at him, asking him to undress me, enjoying how he exposed me. Feeling his hand against my chest, I kissed him desperately. The penetration of his tongue into my mouth was already causing tremors in my lower body. My swollen breast was incessantly kneaded by his hand, sending equally incessant waves of heat into my abdomen. Several times a tremor went through my body. His mouth let go of mine and sucked my free breast into himself. My senses were dwindling and I wanted more despite all this. With irrepressible force, I pressed his head on my chest. His hand massaging my buttocks slid into my pubic to plow with his fingers incessantly through my wet column. Greedily his fingers were absorbed by my grotto and washed around.

The feeling of his fingers inside me, made my body tremble. My hands held his penetrating fingers in me firmly. Capable of articulation again, I asked him to take it upon me. He turned us around and lay down between my legs. Longingly I await his hot pole filling me. Sensing the penetration, my legs clasped his buttocks to push him deep inside me. Slowly but powerfully he pushed himself inside me. Pleasurably I moaned against him. The sliding in and out of his phallus shook my body. Rest was not announced. The deep abyss was open and my pelvis pressed against him lustfully. His hands grabbed my feet, put them on his shoulder. Now penetrating me even deeper, I had nothing more to offer him. With each of his slow steady thrusts, he pushed me higher up my emotional ladder. One last time he pushed himself inside me. My orgasm now completely overtook me. While I trembled and screamed, his hot powerful spurting sperm filled me incessantly.

His hot body pressed against mine, the blanket pulled over us was the next thing I perceived. Opening my eyes I received a kiss. “Was it that bad?” He asked me.

I shook my head. “It was soooooo nice!” With a tender kiss, we fell asleep a short time later.

Weeks later we were sitting in the high-speed ICE train that took us to Venice. For the first time, we were traveling without our daughter, who was with his parents. It was already dark outside when we left Vienna. I was excited and not only because of the musical concert. I was constantly fidgeting in my seat. Smiling, he looked at me and asked me to put my head on his lap. His caressing hand, however, had anything but a calming effect on my body. The restlessness, however, was now in a place on my body that is inappropriate for public transportation.

I knew that no one was sitting behind us, and since the last stop, the couple sitting across from us had also gotten out. “How did you get together with Savannah?” I asked him.

“You’re curious.” I got back as an answer.

“So you have a dark side that you can’t tell me about.” I teased further.

“I could. The whole thing is just a little spicy and not for little girls.”

“At 5’6”, 57 pounds, I’m petite, but not a little girl.” I trumpeted.

He kissed me and began to tell me the story with Savannah.

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