Savannah, his ex’s name, was present at almost every game from that time on, and she did not leave his side. If I or one of the other girls were with the coach, it took only a brief moment, and she was standing next to it. Our trips to and from practice together became less and less frequent, as did our conversations. Richard changed, became more silent and his easygoing nature could only come out when Savannah was not around. During a conversation between my girlfriend and me, he came by chance and got to know that I had messed up the math examination. Spontaneously he offered me his help. We immediately made an appointment for the next day in his apartment. Even today I can remember how agonizingly and eternally long the day was until the appointed time. This time seemed infinite to me at that time. At 6:00 p.m. sharp, I excitedly rang his doorbell, and Savannah opened it. Still, with the ringing I felt in the sky and fell, Savannah seeing, deeply. But I already heard Richard calling me to come in. We went into the living room where he had already set out drinks just for the two of us. I was not yet sitting properly, as Savannah slobbered around, “Why he has not put her a glass of wine or something to drink.” I wondered inwardly.
Richard got up, got her a glass, poured her one too, and we started with math. While he tried to explain the basics of statistics to me, she was holding the Cosmopolitan in her hand, was already yawning and bored in the opposite armchair, and didn’t let us out of her sparkling eyes. I, however, registered and enjoyed his every touch, however small and accidental. I also tasted and took advantage of his offer to help me. So it came that we saw each other at least 4 days a week. My best days during this time were the days when Savannah was not there, and I was alone with him. But we were only busy with math. Our casual interaction with each other and the mutual teasing always made the time fly by on those days. If I then in the evening, on such a day, alone in my bed lay, my thoughts circled only around him. During this time I fell more and more in love with him. Knowing that there will probably be no hope for a happy ending for me. Neither from his facial expressions, gestures, nor his words could I tell whether he loved me a little bit or whether he saw me only as a little pubescent brat.
In the evening, when I then lay in my bed and thought of him, touching my body, I began to burn. In the first weeks, I only caressed my very sparse breasts and rubbed the nipples. Soon, my fingers were later also in my lower erogenous zones on wanderings and remained there until a pleasant tingle drove through my body.
A lost championship game, of all things at home, and against the table penultimate, led to my first small loss, which I owed to Richard.
Savannah was not at the game that day. Depressed by the defeat, everyone went home right after the game. No one felt like talking or doing anything anymore. Richard, as always, cleaned up the hall after the game and stowed away all the game utensils. I helped him, also as always. Both of us were fooling around and teasing each other. Through all the banter, of course, time passed, and we were alone, except for the visiting team who were still celebrating. Richard went to the coaches’ locker room, and I went to the women’s locker room. Standing under the shower, the warm water tingled on my body, my eyes I had closed, came again this daydream with Richard. Already the water jet and the draining foam of the shower gel let my breasts harden, and a butterfly feeling in my stomach blossomed. My hands washed over my tense breasts, and Richard became more and more real to me. My stroking turned into kneading and tugging. Naughtily, my nipples and areolas stood out. Every touch instantly led to a wave of happiness, which in each case made its way through my entire body. Between my legs, a desire arose which I had nothing more to oppose. My fear of being caught standing like this disappeared from my consciousness. First carefully, only stroking my outer labia, my caresses became stronger and more intense. I was heading towards a state that I had never known before. Never before had such intense waves of emotion run through my body. Wanting to hold on to these feelings, I stroked again and again over my clitoris. My body tensed, I screamed “Richard” and felt for the first time a bloodcurdling tremor inside me. Like a tsunami wave, the feeling wave rolled over my body and pulled me to the ground.
Breathing deeply, far from any sense of time, I sat happily on the shower basin floor and enjoyed the ebbing wave of emotion. As if from a distance, I heard my name being called. I was only able to respond with a “yes.” Richard stood outside the shower area and asked if anything had happened. I refused, and he disappeared from the women’s area again without seeing me. In front of the locker room, he asked me again if everything was alright. With a blushing face, I confirmed that everything was fine and that he didn’t have to worry about me. Also on this day we drove again together joking and talking while riding the bikes home. Once home, I read about first love and the first time on various websites, amazed to find that most of my age had already had real sex.
I had passed the final exams and celebrated my birthday with my girlfriends and Richard, who also brought Savannah, at home. Still standing in the doorway we greeted each other. I reached up to him to give him, as thanks for his coming, a kiss on the cheek. Our thoughts were in unison and our mouths met immediately. Briefly, very briefly. Feeling his soft lips on mine I immediately flew back up into the sky. We looked at each other and he held out my birthday gift to me. Both were unable to say anything, but Savannah broke the silence and asked in a provocative tone, what other guests I had invited. Before I could answer her, she disappeared in the direction of the living room. Richard was trailing behind her. My emotional world was completely confused. I longed for his nearness and enjoyed each still so trivial exchange of words with him.
A week later, we celebrated the end of the season with all teams in the clubhouse. Traditionally, this was always celebrated without supporters. Contrary to my habit, I made myself up this evening and instead of a T-shirt I had a blouse on. I wanted him to see me as a woman and not as the girl from his sports group. The speeches of the president and the team leaders seemed infinitely long to me. Again and again, I looked at Richard, who was sitting at the coaches’ table and thus felt infinitely far away from me. His eyes were staring into an empty room. He looked thoughtful and very sad. After the opening speeches, the buffet was opened and everyone rushed up there. In this confusion, I lost Richard from my eyes and had not seen him again that evening.
The day on which my life should change fundamentally began in the swimming pool. At 32°C in the shade, the swimming pool was completely overcrowded. My friends and I were on the way to the ice bar when I saw Richard with his back turned to me. I had to talk to Richard. We had not seen each other for 5 weeks and somehow I had the feeling that he was avoiding me. I ran after the man, spoke to him and then when he turned around I was startled. I had addressed a wild stranger to me. Looking into his face I blushed and disappeared again without further words. Back at our place, it did not take long and the man introduced himself to me unasked as Douglas. Uninhibitedly he spread his towel next to mine and joined in our conversation. On the one hand indignant about his audacity and the other hand, flattered by the attention he gave me, I let myself be invited for ice cream and agreed to a get-together for the next day.
At that time, my mother had already been ill for over a year and had to go to the hospital again and again, and a steady deterioration was obvious. Douglas often accompanied me to the hospital, which I was very happy about, and I forgave him the lie that we were together, which he also told everyone without being asked.
Due to my mother’s illness, I applied to the University of Applied Sciences for Business and Finance in KW, from which I also received an acceptance letter. It wasn’t my dream place to study, but it made it possible for me to be at home and with my mother every evening.