All ready for the next day we agreed to meet in the lobby. There we could also have Katharina with us. Through the glass entrance door, I could already see his impatience. Spying me, with Katharina in my arms, his face lit up. I was already bending down to him when he pulled out a small bouquet from behind his back. Also in this situation, he let me feel again how important I am to him. Katharina stretched her little arms forward when she saw Richard and couldn’t wait to be in his arms. The tear that I saw in Richard’s eyes was certainly not from a feeling of pain. The fact that everyone could watch us during our intimate kiss did not bother me at all, unlike before. It was a really beautiful spring day. I rolled both through the hospital park and watched as Katharina tried to figure out what Richard had wrapped around his head and he kept snapping at her fingers with his mouth. I let myself be infected by their laughter and joy. No bitter thought or memory like that could spread. I sat down with Katharina on a park bench to give her the second breakfast.
Richard sitting in the wheelchair in front of us was watching. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him as he kept eyeing me. Uncertain, I asked him, “Did I spill or why are you looking at me like that?”
He put his hand on my knee and told me how he missed me in his bed at night. I didn’t feel any different, but I didn’t want him to suffer anymore. To distract him I said in a played snippy tone: “So you are a lecher after all and have only deceived me so far. I’ll probably have to watch out for you in the future.”
He defended himself amused: “Why should I be a lecher? I only miss your warmth because it is always so cold in my bed here. Nothing else. Or what were you thinking of just now?”
“So I’m only good for you as a hot water bottle?” I respond, not answering his question and provoking.
“I wasn’t thinking of that. I was thinking more of the emotional warmth I’m missing here. I admit, however, that I was also thinking about your mouth, your breasts, and one or two other parts of your body that are now covered. According to your question, your thoughts are also not juvenile.”
The innuendos and the associated memories caused me again this tipple in my stomach and let my breasts swell. For me, this talk, even if only about innuendos, about our sex was new and exciting. “You already kissed my mouth today, you can also see my breasts and you have not defined any other place. So I can’t know what you mean either?” I hoped now to have lured him out of the reserve, but his quick-wittedness put me back on the defensive.
Played completely emotionless he said: “I can remember our kiss well. It was only an hour ago. Sorry, but I can’t remember your breasts.” He sighed deeply and then grinned mischievously at me. That he was teasing me was clear to me.
“Let’s see if I can jog your memory.” I breathed wickedly in his ear and kissed him passionately. Now Katharina demanded our attention again and Richard had to go to therapy afterward.
That very day I bought a summer dress. The skirt ended just above the knees and the top was very airy. I found the nylon stockings on offer. Long I thought about whether I should buy it. My account did not allow it. Since we left Douglas with almost nothing, we needed everything new. Practical items and, if possible, from the rooting table were my first choice. Richard offered his help again and again, but I always refused. But I wanted to please my Richard and offer him my feminine charms. To calm my conscience, Katharina then also got a little dress.
This spring day also started sunny and very mild. At home in front of the mirror, I examined myself, excited like a teenager before her first date, again and again. Remembering our flax the day before, I took off my bra again. My nipples and, in my already aroused state, also my swollen areolas, squeezed through the fabric.
I saw from a distance that Richard was in the lobby looking for us. Only when we stood in front of him did he notice us. His face lit up in an instant. Like a child, which unpacks its Christmas presents. Our welcome kiss was very intense. Richard could see the consequences of this kiss. Far my nipples stood out and pressed vehemently against the thin fabric of the dress. Much more clearly than in front of the mirror. The fabric rubbed over them and a voluptuous feeling flooded my body.
“You both look beautiful.” He whispered in my ear, still holding me. I could have hugged him like this for ages as well, but now Catherine demanded her right.
“Do you remember again,” I asked him mischievously, lowering my eyes to my breasts?
“I could never forget your body.” He confessed to me and reached out to feel and hold my hand. I don’t know if he got an even greater longing for home due to my outfit, he never talked about it either, but since that day he struggled with what he thought was a much too slow recovery process. Whether at the physiotherapies or the REHA sports, all units were too short for him. His ambition as an athlete was reawakened.
Whenever he thought he had disappeared from my view, he would just look at us for minutes, and in his face, I could see again that sadness already seen at the end-of-year volleyball competition two years ago. But it was the same for me. If the hectic of everyday life could still keep my feelings of longing for him in check, they were already omnipresent again when putting Katharina to bed.
During this time, I usually lay on his side in our bed and pressed his pillow tightly against me. The memory of our first time and the last night together threw me into a chaos of emotions every time. When my hands touched my breasts, in my mind it was his. They slowly played around my buds, which pressed voluptuously towards them, sending waves of sensation down into my abdomen. Once down there, a hand also followed her into my panties and ran its fingers over my clit. In the daydream, I imagined how his tongue spoiled this little knob. The excitement led to the fact that I could knead and pull my breasts only at the edge of the pain. Two, sometimes even three fingers had to be used to meet the longing of my lower body. They could not satisfy it. Not even when I sank into orgasm and saw Richard in front of me. Relieved but not satisfied, I often lay awake for hours afterward. Mostly it was the memory of him lying on the operating table, not stirring, that made me sink crying into his pillow and eventually fall asleep from exhaustion.
The day we both feverishly awaited was here. Richard was out of the hospital and his rehabilitation treatments could begin. For Katharina and me the time of separation from Richard began. If I had been in the hospital every day so far, this was no longer possible from this day on, due to the almost 100 km distance.
Since Richard’s accident, his parents were with us more often during the week and helped me wherever they could. His mother and I sat over a coffee and chatted about Richard. She told me that there was a boarding house near the rehab center where patients’ relatives could stay on weekends at a reasonable price and immediately asked if I would also stay there with Katharina over the weekend. I confessed to her that I could not afford it, since I had already bought the dress this month out of order and my financial situation was more than strained. She saw my eyes getting moist, took my hands, and squeezed them. “It’ll be an alright girl.” Comforting me, she added, “We’ve made it this far, we’ll make it through the rest.”
On the first weekend, the four of us drove to Richard’s rehab clinic at 5:30 a.m. and were there too early. He was still in therapy. Impatiently, we waited in what seemed to me to be an endless hallway. Smiling, upright and proud, he came to meet us on crutches. He took me in his arms, kissed and squeezed me, snatched Katharina from my arms to squeeze her too, and only then greeted his parents. “We’ll leave you alone for now. I’m sure you have a lot to talk about. We’ll take a look at the area first.” She looked Richard’s father deep into the eyes. Confused, he just said yes and followed his wife.