Prologue
ZAC
I never knew how I’d feel on the brink of death. It’s something that no-one will understand until you’re in that moment.
Back when I lay in the Cell for thirty days straight, I wondered whether I’d ever make it out. Every time they beat me, my mind would wonder if it were the last time. Yet I knew Emilia would be safe, that Claudia and Jordan would help her if anything were to happen to me. It was during that long fucking month when I realised what Emilia truly meant to me. She’d wormed her way into my fucking head, broken me down and taken up permanent damn residence.
With every single lashing I received from the Enforcers, Emilia’s smile would appear in front of me, her laugh echoing around my head, her voice pleading with me to survive and make it out of there. I had no idea how she really felt, whether she’d accept me when I left the prison or whether she would have moved on with Rayden.
When we broke onto the farm to blow up the State’s little Safe House I didn’t even stop to properly consider the option of death. I was hyped up on adrenaline, petrified sure, but I knew I had a job to do, the Enforcers around us falling.
Luck was on our side that night. At that point I wanted to get back to Emilia, knowing just by looking in her eyes beforehand that she needed me to come back. We were in this together, fighting as a team, and I had to get home to show her that taking the State down was possible, that someday, maybe, she’d be able to live a long, happy life.
When Rayden was killed I tried to drag her away, knowing that the street was heading into a full blown battlefield, scared that she would be in the middle of it all. You can have as much training as possible, it doesn’t mean you’re ever going to make it out alive. She stood up to me that day, reminded me of what we were doing. I had no choice but to gather reinforcements and enter the war, throwing caution to the wind, no thought to the danger I was putting myself into.
When we executed our final plan, I had one, tiny, fleeting moment where I thought maybe we could have it all. That we would all get down to the South. Who knows... maybe we’d find a better society, and that we could actually be fucking happy.
I was living in a fucking dreamland.
The moment I see the truck in no man’s land roar to life, I feel relief flood through me.
Anna, Jordan, Kieran and even Emilia’s friends are getting out of here. Despite the absolute horror on her face, the screams and yells that accompany it, Emilia is going to be free. She’s finally fucking safe.
I told them to get her out of here, if they had to. I knew there was a chance that not all of us would be able to make it. After all, our numbers are nothing in comparison to the Enforcers.
If I had to make a choice, I knew from the moment I even dared to think about it that I would sacrifice myself for Emilia. I had to. She had brought me out of the darkness, one that I had let myself sink into, not allowing myself to care for anyone, or even entertain the idea that I could be happy.
Emilia and I aren’t perfect. We challenge each other, annoy the shit out of one another, and all in all, I don’t have a fucking clue if we were even meant to be together. Yet she’s the one who finally broke down my walls, even if I’d never fucking admit it to anyone.
And then it happens...
I’m watching her face screw up, her legs kicking out at Jordan as he drags her to the truck, her eyes fixated on me. Her voice screams out my name, a high-pitched heartbroken, tortured scream that would break me if I didn’t know she’s headed for safety.
I shoot my leg into the Enforcer on my right, effectively slashing his own from under him, watching as he quickly falls to the ground.
My eyes move back to the truck to see Emilia’s gaze on me once more. Jordan and Sam hold her inside the truck as tears flood down her cheeks. She’s okay. Emilia is going to get out of here.
The relief that fills me isn’t normal. I’ve never felt this level of emotion before, and it isn’t even for my own life. An obvious realisation suddenly fills me, the extent of which I’ve been denying for way too long.
I love her more than life itself.
Emilia. With her perfect fucking ass and her irresistible tits. The long blonde hair that I love to pull, the soft red lips that adore teasing me in every way possible. Her challenging my every move, my every sentence. She isn’t afraid of me, yet I could never get bored.
I should have realised back when I was in that Cell. Her fucking smile was all I could see, why didn’t I register then that she meant more to me than I ever thought was possible?
I have no idea when exactly I fell in love with her but it happened, and now she’s on her way to the South, for a chance of a better life.
We have no idea what’s down there, but at least I know I tried. She’s alive, she’s healthy, and Kieran and Jordan will do everything in their power to make sure they all survive.
I never knew how I’d feel on the brink of death. It’s something that no-one will understand until you’re in that moment.
But as I turn back to the Enforcers surrounding me, one of them wrenching my gun from my hand as another pulls my hand behind my back, causing me to yell out in pain, I suddenly know how it all ends for me.
I’m scared, only a liar would say they aren’t.
But my wife, Emilia Hastings? She’ll make it.
And that’s all I need to know to accept my fate.
