20 minutes earlier
The sky was grey. Clogged with dark clouds. It was late in the day and looked like rain was coming. I could smell it in the air.
I looked at the miserable sky through my bedroom window and stood motionless.
I couldn’t move. The numbness decayed inside me. I couldn’t think. I didn’t want to. Everything was a whirlwind, yet I stood still and emotionless through it all. Mom was already planning the funeral. I decided to return to my house instead, escaping from it all.
The phone vibrated on my bed, that I hardly noticed, it was Storm who attracted me to it. I glanced at it, finally moving tiredly to my bed and sat down.
Rebecca’s name lit up my phone, and I sighed.
I picked it up reluctantly.
“Rebecca.” I muttered.
“Eric. How you’re doing?” She asked softly.
“I’m good as I can be.” I answered evenly. What was I supposed to say, ‘I’m doing great?’ ‘Everything is dandy?’ Because it was not!
“Do you want me to come over and be with you?” She asked.
“No, I’m fine. I want to be alone.” I said instantly. “But thanks for the offer.”
“Okay. Just know I’m here if you need me.”
“Yeah. Okay.” I hung up and tossed the phone next to me.
I didn’t want any company. I didn’t want to be consoled. No condolences and sympathies. I wasn’t built like that and preferred to be alone, Mending my broken thoughts... and heart, I suppose. The last thing I wanted was to be bothered.
Rebecca wanted to let me know my father got into a car crash. She wanted to be the first to tell me. Like it was a fucking competition. But I was glad I avoided her calls. I didn’t want to hear the news from her.
My eyes prickled as my mind flashed back to yesterday afternoon. The hardest day of my fucking life. I blew out a hard breath. My eyes burned again, the sear that had developed from yesterday. I was hanging on by a fucking thread. Raw emotions raked through me.
Sadness. Anger. Guilt. Regret, especially regret. It bit at me, gnawed and snapped. Like teeth sinking into my flesh, poisoning my blood.
I held my head in my hands, rubbing my face hard. I hadn’t noticed Storm running out the room, his paws galivanting downstairs. Moments later, I heard a faint voice and soft footsteps approach. A tiny knock at my door.
“Eric?” Her tender voice called.
I looked up slowly, and saw Harper standing at my bedroom door. Her hair in her signature bun. Her dress hung at the knees. Her notebook and papers against her chest. Her deep brown eyes soft and concerned as she looked at me.
I breathed in deep. A feral hunger growing inside me at the sight of her.
“I brought documents from work.” She said. She looked awkward not knowing if she should come close or not.
My eyes penetrated into her, not tearing away. She bit her bottom lip and I watched intently as she sucked it, my left eye twitched.
She cleared her throat. Looking uncomfortable. “I heard the news. I’m sorry.” She said delicately.
I blinked my eyes closed and breathed an unsteady breath. The emotions nipping at me again. I nodded at Harper, as I ran a hand through my hair. I lifted my eyes and watched her closely as she crossed the bedroom carpet, she placed the documents on the dressing table.
“I’m sure you want to be alone.” She said.
I looked at her and said nothing. An urge inside me formed. She moved slowly to the door and glanced back, fiddling with her charm bracelet. My left leg bounced, anticipation and fear filling me up.
She sucked in a breath. “Maybe you want to rather talk and don’t want to be alone?” She added. “Do you want me to leave?”
I blinked, not ripping my eyes off her.
“No.” I simply said. “Stay.”
She hesitated and moved slowly towards me; her hands clasped behind her back. She stood for a while, glanced around and eventually sat beside me on the bed. Her eyes trained to the ground. She placed both her arms tight against her sides. Her skin brushed against my arm. I felt my dick stiffen at the contact.
The hint of vanilla caressing my fucked-up senses. Harper was close to me, the heat from her body was felt through my shirt. I shifted the side of my face, watching her breasts rise and fall with each breath.
I swallowed hard. I didn’t know what the fuck was wrong with me? I just lost my dad and I had sex on my mind. The familiar feeling rising in waves.
“I can’t begin to understand what you’re feeling.” Harper whispered. Her voice sizzling my skin.
I shook my head and breathed out. “Fuck! I don’t know what I’m feeling either right now to be honest.” I never felt a cascade of emotions in one go. I was practically bursting from it.
“I’m sorry you have to go through this Eric.” She continued.
“My father was a strict and tough man.” I grunted. “He always expected the best from his sons, especially me.”
She nodded slowly. “Yes, I could tell.”
I looked at her. “My father was hard on me, throughout my whole life. I never had a father and son relationship outside of business.” I swallowed down the bile. “I just wanted for him to be proud of me.”
“Oh Eric. He was your father. He was proud of you, you his first born son, even it was hard for him to show it. He entrusted a lot to you. You proved yourself to him.” She reassured and placed her hand on my leg, giving it a slight rub. Making me fucking vibrate inside from her touch.
I swallowed hard.
“Even my father’s infidelities doesn’t even matter anymore. So many words unsaid and things never done. The biggest regret right now. Is not telling him I was proud to be his son.” The tears prickled my eyes. Burning them. I tried to fight, but I couldn’t anymore. Tears fell down as I looked up to the ceiling again.
“Dad.” I whispered.
Arms wrapped around my broad shoulders. Harper felt soft and warm, like a toasted marshmallow. I just wanted to sink my teeth into and eat up.
She placed her head against my shoulder, and I breathed her in. I didn’t know what it was. I couldn’t explain it, the urgency. The desperateness for her right now. The familiar feeling overwhelmed me, mixed with sorrow and grief.
I leaned into her neck; the vanilla scent became stronger and comforting. She smelled sweet. Her olive skin looked like it tasted sweet too. I wanted to kiss it. Lick it. Suck it until it bruised. Until sweet sounds come out of her mouth. My eyes drifted to her pink pouty lips. I remembered it. The sweetness coming back. The taste of it. I wanted it now. I licked my lips in anticipation. I wanted to suck it, bite it.
My hands trailed up, touching her hair bun. I took out a single hair pin and released her hair. My fingers glided through her thick chocolate brown hair. I grasped the ends and placed it underneath my nose. Inhaling her in. She sat still and allowed me to do this.
My hand rested on her stomach. I felt her jerk under it. She placed a hand on mine, pulling it away slightly. But I held my hand firmly against her.
I wanted Harper. I wanted to fuck her. My mouth touching and kissing every inch of her body. I wanted to be the only man to make her feel good and for her to make me feel good in return. To take the pain and anguish away inside. Even for just a moment.
I was dizzy and lost with the woman beside me.
I pressed my hand further against her body and took her down slowly onto my bed. To my satisfaction she moved down with me.
“Violet.” I whispered against her.