I woke up at exactly seven in the morning, as always. I was so used to it that I no longer needed an alarm. It was like it was programmed into my system. I got out of bed the same way I did everyday, by turning over and rolling out, planting my feet on the ground and lifting myself up just before I could tumble off the bed.
I dragged myself to the shower to freshen up and get ready for the day. Although I was in every way a morning person, I hated taking showers in the morning, it was the worst.
After taking my shower and getting dressed, a normal child my age would probably be running around the house trying not to be late to school but not me. I casually walked over to my desk which was a cluster of my laptop, several books and loose sheets of papers, pens, pencils, the usual sort. I reached under it, pulling out the package that had arrived yesterday.
Placing the blade gently on the tape, I cut it open. I pulled out the book in it, running my eyes over the front cover and reading through the back, it seemed intriguing enough.
The sounds of people moving around the streets on a Monday morning caught my attention. I walked over to my closed blinds, pushing the edge of the curtain away just enough for me to see through it. I stood there watching children and their parents rush out of their houses into their cars and drove off, students cruised along the roads casually heading to school.
I couldn't help the feeling of longing that settled in my chest, but as it came it quickly disappeared.
The sound of the front door of my house opening and closing caused me to look down. I saw my sister walk out of the house, her opened bag in her hand as she shuffled through it. My mom yelled something at her from inside and she yelled back an okay.
She looked up, her eyes immediately catching mine. She would probably had known that I would be here, after all she did know me better than anyone, sometimes even myself or I could just call it a twin thing. She smiled, waving at me, I smiled back but by then she had already turned and was headed for school.
Once her figure disappeared and I couldn't see her anymore I turned back to my room, closing the blinds. I hopped on my bed, book in my hand, lying down on my side before flipping open the first page, ready to get lost in the world of books.
By the time I had finished reading it was already afternoon. I picked up my phone, the time read some minutes past five, my sister would be home anytime soon. I had stayed in my room all morning and now my stomach protested in hunger.
I wiped the tears off the corner of my eyes before getting off my bed and heading out of the room for the first time today. I headed into the kitchen to make a gyoza for myself, more like three I suppose because one wouldn't be enough to fill me. With my outdated music playing on my phone, I got on to making my gyozas.
Finally, I was done. I picked up the plate and headed up to my room. I had already finished one of them when I realised that I had no water to drink and I was already really thirsty. Once again I rushed out of my room.
On my way down the stairs, I froze because I heard voices, several of them. The only one I could identify was my sister's. Who brings friends over on the first day of school? My sister apparently.
I quickly rushed back up the stairs before they could see me. Stupid stupid Misumi. What am I going to do now? I sighed, sulking all the way back to my room. After shutting the door gently behind me, I pressed my back against it sliding all the way to the bottom. I was really freaking thirsty and hungry and now pissed.
After waiting for about an hour, just sitting there fiddling with my phone, I decided to go back downstairs. I hadn't heard any sounds from there for about twenty minutes now so I assumed that all of Misumis friends had already left. I was still pretty skeptical though, but my thirst was greater.
I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that no one was nearby but I knew they hadn't left yet because I heard sounds coming from the TV room, but I could get by without having to bother about them. I rushed into the kitchen, filled my cup and quickly rushing back out like I was on a death mission.
I almost laughed in relief when I finally made it to the stairs without any complications but I did do a little victory dance causing some of the water from the cup to spill on my clothes. I hissed, pulling it away from my body because the water was really cold. I was so engrossed in trying to dry myself that I didn't notice a shadow walk past the stairs, stop and walk back.
"Hey?" A deep voice came from the bottom of the stairs.
I froze, my heard stopped. Ice cold fear engulfed me as I stood just three steps away from the bottom of the stairs where the stranger stood. I wanted to run but my legs refused to move. My mind screamed run, fast, move, but my body didn't respond. Instead I stupidly turned my head back and locked eyes with the boy standing at the bottom of the stairs. A new type of fear took over me, one laced with curiosity. This was the first time in one and a half years that I had looked at someone other than my family.
He seemed curious too because he didn't look away, instead his mouth hung open and closed back up like he wanted to say something but didn't know what to say. The 'staring contest' would have gone on a for a little while longer if my sister hadn't shown up from behind the boy.
"What are you... Oh shit." Her eyes widened when she saw me but before she could say anything more my body finally obeyed me and I bolted up the stairs. Once I was in the solitude of my room I let out a shaky breath that soon turned into a series of panting.
"Who was that?" I heard the boy's voice ask my sister.
"No one." She answered.
I didn't hear anything else after that.
"Fuck." I swore, downing the water in three large gulps before plopping onto my bed and faceplanting into my pillow. I tried to rest, to calm down but my heart kept racing like I had just finished a round of exercise.
My curiosity surprised even me. My mind kept playing back the moment my eyes had locked onto his. His face felt like it was now burned into my brain and I couldn't forget it no matter how much I tried to. I remembered everything, from his light red hair to his tall thin and yet muscular frame, his deep voice, his face that held a look of surprise and curiosity just like mine minus the fear.
I couldn't tell the exact color of his eyes due to the distance between us and the lighting but strangely I found myself wanting to know.
I shook my head. This was stupid. I was acting stupidly like a girl with a stupid crush. I shut my eyes and tried to sleep but no matter how hard I tried to forget, every time I closed my eyes his face would appear in my mind.
When I finally woke up from my troubled sleep roughly about an hour had gone by. I heard a knock on my door followed by a voice.
"Kai, you up?" Misumi asked from behind the door.
Although I was still somewhat pissed at her, I responded before getting out the bed to open the door. Her eyes darted around my room, taking in its neat mess. I was a very messy person, no lie but I had a lot of time on my hands so when I found myself with nothing to do, I had no choice but to clean. My room was in no way the neatest but it wasn't messy, like I said, a neat mess.
"How was your class?" She walked in and sat on my bed.
Smooth start, okay.
"I didn't go. They were having a kind of orientation, didn't need it." I pulled the book I had read early from my shelf and handed it to her. "I finished this, it was amazing. Although be warned, you would shed a couple tears so get your tissue ready."
She chuckled, looking at the cover of the book then the back.
Silence ensued before finally came what I had been waiting for.
"Kai, I'm really sorry. I should have called you before bringing people over and I'm sorry about..."
Hey, it's fine. I'm not mad... Well, I'm not that mad."
I nodded with a smile and she smiled back.
"Who was that anyways?"
"Oh that was Takashi."
I walked to my shelf and pretended to run my eyes over it like I was searching for something when meanwhile I was trying to not look interested in what Misumi was saying.
"What?" I heard the questioning in her voice.
"What?" I asked back, trying to fake as much innocence and nonchalance as possible.
"Ahhh. You think he's cute don't you." She teased.
I scoffed. "No I don't."
"Yeah? Then why are you smiling?"
I rolled my eyes. "I'm not."
She shot me a look, pointing her finger at my face. I sighed in defeat, there was just no hiding things from my sister.
"Okay, maybe he is a little cute." I bit my lip, turning my back at Misumi so she couldn't see the way my mouth refused to stop smiling.
She let out an ear piercing squeal that sounded like a broken whistle. "I can't believe it. Kai first crush who's not a fictional character."
"Shut up. How can I have a crush on him when I don't even know him."
"But you can. That is, if you want to."
I shot her a dry look that said really. She understood immediately and after sighing I'm defeat, she got up from the bed and made her way to the door, the book I gave her still in her hand.
"Do you ever even considered it? Going to school, meeting new people, finally leaving this house?"
Her eyes held so much plea I had to look away. I didn't answer her so she would assume my answer was no when truly I had considered it, a lot.
She sighed again, turning around and finally left my room. "Thanks for the book."
I locked the door behind her. I wanted to make my way to my bed and just burry myself underneath my covers but my legs had a different plan as they walked to the window.
I opened the window, fully this time. It was dark outside and the light in my room was so dim that it would be hard to see my face so anyone who looked up at my window would just assume that I was my sister.
Although it was dark, people still littered the streets, cars drove by every so often, little kids with their parents walked by, teenagers around my age sashayed the streets in groups. I couldn't help but envy them, all of them. Their lives must be so easy that they wouldn't be faced with constant fear or battered with painful memories whenever they tried to step out of their comfort zone.
I stood there for a while just staring outside. I caught a glimpse of my mom's car pulling into the driveway, that was when I decided to shut the blinds and go to bed.
My mind drifted to the conversation I had with my mom a few weeks ago. Misumi assumed that I never thought about leaving the house, but she was wrong, I did think about it. I thought about it so much that I even gathered up the courage to approach my parents about it.
I told them that I wanted to go to an actual school and not an online school for my senior year. They were surprised at first, they had been trying for so long to get me to go back to school but they couldn't and now all of a sudden I had decided that I wanted to go back, they couldn't help but be surprised.
They agreed obviously, overjoyed even. But then my mom mentioned that it would be difficult to get into highschool in my senior year since most schools don't accept it and since admission season was over for first semester junior year, it would be best if I applied for second semester.
That was good enough news but that also meant I had just a few months till winter break was over to prepare and get over my anxiety. That didn't seem like enough time but I was going to make it work.
I wanted to make it work for Misumi, she had no idea what I had discussed with my parents and I wanted to keep it a secret from her. I wanted her to be surprised and happy when she sees me heading to school with her.
I snuggled under my covers, twisting and turning because sleep did not come easy this night. Everytime I closed my eyes, what I saw was the face of a boy whose name was the only thing I new about him. Everytime i tried to sleep, that moment when his eyes met mine played in my mind over and over again like a broken tape.
My curiosity grew stronger and stronger. I found myself wanting to know more about him, everything and I didn't know why.
Damn. I still wonder what color his eyes are.