Mary Christof, Queen of Hearts

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La Regina Di Ghiaccio?/The Tell-Tale Heart

It looked weird for a heart, it almost made me sick...even for someone who visualized themselves watching a gory movie marathon on one particular rainy night.

This isn’t real. This is just my brain imagining my heart looking like this. She’s a good person. She loves us, and I’m projecting again, like an envious lover...the devil in me, I’d guess. I didn’t want...

“What is that thing?!” I felt ugly again, and biting my tongue sounded like the best idea at this point--even if she tried getting some sort of reaction. The heart just kept palpitating...

“It looks...never mind, I’m sorry. Projection, nasty habit...even I cannot escape it and now you know! Now you see my fatal flaw, now you see me as I am...so overprotective and jealous of the ones I fall in love with it’s just not fair, just not right, I don’t understand...I told you to leave and you wouldn’t, and I’m sorry, I am, what’s wrong with me? I’m envious and angry and--human, I guess. Please, just give it to me--I’m tired, Mum, just give it to me...even in pieces, I’ll take it...please, just--give it to me, enriched by something--I’ll do whatever you want, just make it stop beating and give it to me, just make it stop beating and give it to me...I feel...guilty. Just give it to me, please, just give it to me...I’m sorry...”

I almost had the sickening feeling the thing changed with mood, for it looked like that of some burnt pie ingredient now.

Really, I was even too scared to sleep after that little nightmare. My mind seemed detached, even. It wasn’t exactly lured away by a demon, because I didn’t exactly want them to touch me either–but it wasn’t entirely on the delighted boat to Chippertown, Iowa…so I guess I just had to wait again.


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