I want to go home, yet I want to run away,
I don't want to live like this, but I don't want to change.
I don't feel like smiling anymore but I don't want to be depressed any longer.
I don't want to socialize but I also don't want to be alone.
"Can Andromeda be so kind to answer the next question?" my teacher called out to me, her eyes widening.
"Uhhh yeah sure? To find the ratio you'd have to add the two numbers together and then divide it by the amount so two then times the separate halves by the numbered amount?"
I hate maths. I want to slump my head into the desk and never come up, not even for air.
"You okay bestie?" Hailey asked me. She's a good friend of mine. She's in a handful of my classes and I love her to bits.
"Yeah, I'm good. What about you?"
She went on to go tell me how her weekend went. I feel bad saying this, but I probably wasn't paying full attention.
I was glancing at my 'girlfriend' from across the room, although things between us had been a bit dry and honestly upsetting, I still cared about her and I wanted her to still like me.
She used to look at me back, smile, and wait for me to react.
She used to compliment me all the time. Make me feel special. Like I was the only person in the world. She made me feel attractive and fun to be around, not the obnoxious person I see myself as. I don't really know what changed though. I think she started complimenting her friends more and treating them like they were dating and putting me to the side?
Of course, she can have friends but I felt misused? Like isn't the purpose of having a partner being able to connect with someone on a different and closer level than you're friends? I'd check her socials, she'd call strangers the exact same things she called me, copying and pasting every exact detail from emojis to the number of spaces between each word.
It didn't surprise me that she dumped me a week after.
I was very, very hurt, but her mental health was important, so I'm not going to be a bad person.
Class ended. It felt like an eternity, but it was over now. I had to wait for my friends to come out of their class like they always do, but I was sick of waiting. I told them I'd be by the art rooms if they needed me or wanted to know where I was sitting.
I walked down the corridor, my hair bouncing as I fluff it up with the back of my palm.
Suddenly, I felt two hands grabbing on my backpack straps. My vision was blurred as I tumbled to the ground. Someone's heeled wedge trainers covered in gold bling came crashing into my back. The girl let out a grunt and an ugly laugh.
"Why'd you get in my way like that?" she asked me.
"Sorry? I didn't mean to get in your way. Are you okay?" I sounded more concerned than I actually was.
"Don't act all goody goody with me! Why don't you go hang out with your friends, or maybe some boys? Haha, get it? Cuz you aren't like other girls?" she cackled with a huge grin.
"I'm on my way to see my friends actually, so uhh I apologize for any troubles I guess. Have a nice day?" I said walked away. She stomped her foot as handfuls of cheap black rhinestones fell to the floor.
I was so focused on whatever the hell just happened, that my eyes strained. It was unbearable pain. This boy brushed past me in the corridor and bumped into my shoulder causing him to trip and fall on his face.
"My apologies. Is everything okay? Are you hurt?" I asked him, reaching out my shaky hand.
"Uhh yeah I'm alright I guess. Would you be a dear and help me up?" he responded shyly.
I died. I physically stopped. My lungs continued to pump air in and out of me and my eyes were still blinking but I wanted to collapse.
Without any thought, I exclaimed "Oh yes of course. I kneeled down and lent forward, holding out my hand, assuming he'd grab it. He didn't. I felt his veiny yet soft hand wrap around my wrists, his metal rings had chains looping over my fingers. We slowly stood and he gave me an attractive smirk. He bowed quickly and tapped my shoulder. The words "I'm sorry dear" came out of his mouth at least three times. I tried to give him a reassuring smile before picking up his bag and handing it to him. I walked off or at least tried to, before he grabbed onto my wrist again.
"I only just noticed now, but I adore your hair! I wish I could get mine cut like that haha!"
"Oh thank you, thank you very much. It's lost its shape a bit but I appreciate the compliment! Very sweet of you," I turned slowly but I tried to walk away confidently. I could feel him turning back to look at me a few times again, but that could've just been my paranoia.
My friends weren't even there when I arrived in the art classroom. They messaged me saying that they were too lazy to walk all the way and that I had to go find them.
I walked back, hoping to see the boy again. I didn't and neither did my friends, so I didn't bother. I did explain how I got attacked by some idiot in the corridor though.