Marriage by Law

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“Tell me you found it,” I impatiently said, clasping my hands together and pinching my fingers. Oh god, what would I do if I didn’t find it?

Is it just me or did someone turn on the heater in here?

“Did you find it?”

“God, woman, shut up for a second!”

“Fine,” I snapped.

I just lost a diamond ring. A wedding ring. I was screwed. Oh boy was I screwed. I remember the time I lost a grain of a diamond that was in my earring. My mother didn’t speak to me for days, telling me I was careless. Yeah, maybe I was.

And to make it worse, she never let me wear earrings for a month and then when I was able to wear them, it was painful because the earring holes nearly closed up. God, she was a demon.

There were more sounds of things being tugged and pulled and more screechings and I winced. That did not sound well. There was a loud groan and I took a step back.

“What was that?” I asked. Was he going to flood this place? Oh god he was.

“I knew it,” I exclaimed loudly, waving my hand in frustration. Should have just asked a maid or someone else because Mr. Genius here didn’t have a clue about what he was doing.

“I’m so screwed,” I muttered, turning around and leaning my head against the wall. Man, I felt sick. I banged my head against the wall, trying to think.

Think, Ivory, think. Maybe I can go buy one and no one will realise. I mean, it was one big diamond and then a million tiny ones. Easy, right?

“If you can stop banging your head and give me a hand here, that would be appreciated.”

“A hand?” I asked, looking back at half of his body that was under the sink.

“I’m a bit stuck.”

I groaned. What else can go wrong?

The loud noise of the room door opening was what could go wrong.

“Shit,” I swore, looking at the direction of the main door. If Darius came in now, we are screwed.

“Shit! What, is there a spider on my leg or something?” Adrian cried. I shushed him, rushing to the bathroom door and slamming it closed as Darius walked in. Oh smooth, Ivory, you could have closed it gently.

I placed the lock on the door and tiptoed back to Adrian.

“Alright, how are you stuck? And shhh, be quiet. Darius came back.”

From under the sink came the reply, “The arsehole always did have perfect timing. Why don’t you go call him so he can pull me out?”

“Hell, no!” I protested. We were this close to getting the ring. No time to ruin this. I could hear footsteps and I quickly grabbed Adrian’s leg and pulled, making him yelp.

“Jesus, it’s called ‘pull me out’, not just get my leg!”

“Sorry,” I muttered and tugged gentler.

“How are you stuck, anyway?”

“My arms. Too big to come out of the gap. I don’t get it. It went in easily.”

I grabbed both his legs and pulled. God, he was heavy.


“Oh shit,” I swore as I heard Darius’ voice from the other side of the door.

“Yea?” I called back out, kicking Adrian when started to speak.

“Everything all right in there? I heard someone scream.”

“Yep, just killing a spider,” I said, stomping my foot as proof. “All good.”

“Alright then. I’m going to go find Adrian. He keeps disappearing.”

“That’s because I’m a magician,” snapped Adrian and I kicked him.

Adrian glared at me. “Jesus, that was a whisper. The old man won’t hear it!”

“Shut up,” I snapped, pulling at his leg and this time he yelled louder.

“Jesus, what part of ‘shut up’ do you not understand?” I groaned.

“What’s going on in there?” Darius yelled from outside.

“Just pull it,” snapped Adrian.

Then Darius. “Adrian?”

“Then don’t scream,” I retorted as I grabbed his legs and pulled on them. I could hear a pipe groan and the last thing I needed was this place to flood.

“Are you guys okay?” asked Darius as he knocked on the door.

“Yea, hold on, couz. Give us a few seconds,” yelled Adrian.

“Why are you so fat?” I asked him as I continued to pull.

“This isn’t fat,” Adrian insisted. “This is muscle.”

I snorted loudly and gave a harder pull, making him yell again.

“Hey, it worked,” he said. “Just a bit more.”

I groaned, closing my eyes and rocking back on my heels. “Damn it, you can help by wriggling.” I gave one last tug on him. It worked.

The next thing I knew, I landed on the ground banging my head on the side of my tub and a corpse was on top of me.

“Shit,” I swore loudly, raising my hand to rub my head and I saw Darius in the bathroom doorway, leaning against the door, his hands crossed over his chest and an amused expression on his face.

“Oh, hey, couz,” said Adrian, waving a hand at him. I shoved him off me.

“Get off. You weigh a bloody ton,” I groaned and then looked at Darius. “How did you open the door?”

He held up a set of keys and I looked away, feeling like an idiot. How long had he been standing there? Damn it, Ivory. All it took was a look backwards.

“You know, you could have helped us.”

“Nah. You guys looked fine but it was funny trying to watch you,” he said, laughing. I rolled my eyes, lying back down and catching my breath.

“Get off,” I told Adrian, raising my knee to kick him but he jumped.

“Jesus, woman, is that the thanks I get?”

I looked up at him as he dusted him hands and legs, glaring at me.

“You found it?”

“Found what? What were you guys doing?” asked Darius, now sounding confused again. I waved a hand at him and then rolled over, pushing the door with my hand to lock him out but he just propped his feet between the door and the door jamb. I gave him a look and stood up, rubbing my head. Damn I hit it hard.

“Here,” said Adrian, thoughtfully turning around so he was blocking Darius and held out his hand.

“Oh hell, no. I am not wearing that.”

Darius tried to look over Adrian’s shoulder. “Not wearing what? I want to see, too!”

Adrian ignored him and told me, “I went to all that trouble. You are wearing this.”

I looked at the ring in his hand. Sure, it was my ring, but it was covered in stray pieces of hair, dirt, mould and other things I didn’t want to know. I wrinkled my nose, feeling sick.

“Just wash it,” Adrian said as he grabbed my hand to put the ring on. “It’ll get clean.”

“Ew, no. The feeling will still be there. You know what, keep it.” I walked out of the bathroom. It was no space for three grown adults to be crowding in. This seemed like a nightmare and I didn’t want to touch that thing.

“Ivory Quartz, you will wear this damn ring!” Adrian followed me.

“Ring?” asked Darius as he walked out of the bathroom.

“Oh, catch up,” snapped Adrian and then they started bickering while I just stared. Ivory Quartz. I almost forgot that that was Darius’s last name. It made everything seem a lot more real and a lot more weird.

Ivory Quartz. Did even my name have to be weird?

“No, it’s nasty,” I said as I moved away from it when Adrian shoved it in my face.

“You’re the one who lost it down the sink or it wouldn’t have been nasty!”

“Well you found it, so finders keepers, yea?” I said, nodding fast and smiling.

“Fine, I will,” he said, which surprised me.

“What?” both Darius and I said in unison as Adrian shoved the ring on his finger.

“Darius,” Adrian declared, “you and I are married now. Let’s go on our honeymoon,” and then he reached for Darius who stepped back. I would too if you could see blonde hairs around the ring and pieces of mould on his fingers.

“Yuck,” I muttered, keeping my distance. That was disgusting. He could have washed it first.

“Go clean it up,” Darius ordered as Adrian tried to wave it in his face. Adrian huffed and went to the bathroom. I relaxed and leaned against the bed post. I rubbed the tender spot on my head.

I should have called the maid. At least she would have given me the ring once she cleaned it. But then there was this guy who goes and puts it on.

“You all right?” Darius looked at me with concern in his eyes.

“Yea, I’m fine.” I replied, rubbing the back of my head and wincing. I just need some ice, that’s all.

There was a loud cursing from the bathroom. I looked at Darius, who raised an eyebrow.

“Did you break the pipe?” he asked, sounding amused.

“No. The ring is stuck.”

I groaned. I was surprised when it slipped on his finger easily. Surely his finger wasn’t as small as mine but the ring was probably still slippery when he put it on.

“Coming,” I announced and walked over but Darius grabbed my arm to stop me.

“Where are you going?”

“To help him?” I said, confused as he started pulling me. “Wait, shouldn’t we help him?” I asked as he pulled me toward the door. He turned around to look in the direction of the bathroom and smiled upon hearing Adrian’s string of curses.

“Of course not.” He looked at me as he said it and, quite unexpectedly, tucked a strand of loose hair behind my ear. He opened the door for me, making my stomach tumble.

“But the ring?” I said as he pulled me out.

“I’m hungry. Aren’t you?”

“Well, yea,” I said. We did skip breakfast and now it was probably lunch.

“But Darius, the ring,” I said as we waited for the elevator. Darius looked at me and shrugged. When the elevator arrived, he pulled me in.

“It’s Dairy, and I never liked that ring anyway.”

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