𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 - 01
“𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑢𝑐𝑘 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑢𝑝 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑢𝑐𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑢𝑝.”
“Kindly complete the rest of the questions of the profits prior to incorporation. I need the assignment submitted by Thursday which is day after tomorrow. Have a nice day.”
Says the boring accountancy teacher Mrs. Negi, one of the few Indian professors in our university.
Her glass like voice saying “have a nice day” and that small smile plastered on her face clearly tells how much she is enjoying torturing us poor students.
Like instead of wishing us a nice day, she’s screaming in her mind,
“Yes, bitches. Now, go do those questions which I know you haven’t heard a single thing about in the class and I’ll get the golden opportunity to mark you fail. Yayyyy!”
But then again, I might be hallucinating. I have been so stressed these days not knowing what should I do to make this year successful. It’s the second week of our last year and I’m already getting looks from the teachers that clearly says that I should study hard this year and complete assignments in time.
Fuck shit. Not hallucinating. I mean imagining things.
Like isn’t that same as hallucinating. My subconscious mocked me.
Shut up. I mean I might be seeing things.
Psssht, as if that isn’t hallucinating either.
What I mean is I must be just very much stressed out you know.
Yeah we know. Stressed by sleeping all day and lazying around.
Oh god! What am I even doing?
Talking with myself. Wait, more like arguing?
I’m so stupid.
Exactly! I always remind you of that.
I mentally facepalmed myself.
Can this day get anymore worse?
I looked around at all the other students quickly making their way out of the class as if their non existing tails were on fire and they were in dire need of water, before placing my books back in my black bag pack and standing up to walk towards the open door.
But I could feel the drilling glares of my teacher boring into the side of my head.
And just as I decided to make a sprint to the door, I hear her high pitched voice,
“Miss Pabme, I would like to talk to you.”
About what? My awesome personality? My amazing remarks? My too cute dress? My hair fall?
Whst do you exactly want to talk about? I mentally cursed hoping to vanish somehow in the air by magic.
Ahh! The perks of magic, knowing magic.
I wish it was real and then I wouldn’t have to live my life at this stupid average human speed.
I could go anywhere I wanted in a single minute and eat as many chocolates as I want and still maintain the perfect body.
Perfect body with a perfect smile.
Yup, just like that song.
“Miss Pabme!” Her voice shouted from behind.
Coming, coming, geez! It’s not like a lion would jump out and eat you if I get a minute late.
Although, to be honest. I was actually contemplating not to turn around. It’d be better. I’ll just say I didn’t hear her.
Hmmm... that’d be fine.
But no, as if my feet have a mind of their own, I found myself turning on my heels and walking towards her desk.
Stupid feet! You traitor!
You betrayer! You backstabbing feet!
I won’t give you any massage tonight.
I turned around. And that was the mistake I shouldn’t have done.
Why did I look towards her when I know she was giving me that seething glare?
I wanted to shout so badly at my stupid self.
Still, reigning that need it, promising to do that later in the evening,I turned around and met with the dark eyes of my teacher’s shining in annoyance and frustration behind her big spectacles with red dots on the frame of the glasses.
Why would she have red dots? Why not blue?
Ehhh...naah. I don’t like blue. Red suits more
But then why not yellow or white or purple....
“Yes, that too but I don’t think so it will be any better choice considering the base of the glasses is black.” I happily answered, proud of my colour matching skills.
Is that even a thing?
I don’t know but I’m good at it. Atleast I think so.
Maybe I should become a designer or something instead of studying business. That would be better.
You should have thought that before college, shouldn’t you? It’d the last year and now you think of it?!
Ah! Geez. Why do you always pop up at unexpected times? You are so annoying!
I mentally groaned at my subconscious not even realising I had said these things out loud until that glass voice pulled me out of my thoughts.
“Miss Pabme! Are you listening to yourself? Commenting on your teacher’s spectacles! Is that how you should behave?” Her voice went an octave higher and eyes looked quite ready to murder me.
Shit. Super shit.
Why am I this stupid? Why don’t I think before speaking?
Jaziel, you idiot!
Scolding myself mentally, I hesitantly looked up to see if Mrs. Negi was still fuming or not.
She still was.
Her eyes slinted in anger and nose flared a little as she breathed. Her lips shut together in a grim line. I am sure if she was a cartoon character, she’ll definitely look like Nobita’s mom with the same pair of big glasses and smoke coming out of her ears.
I mentally laughed at my awesome imagination.
Damn! I’m Amazing!
I looked back up at again but this time I didn’t put my head down again. Instead, I looked behind her at the wall clock and gathered I had only five minutes to my next class, that is business. It’s still a nice class as compared to this torturous accountancy.
“You need to focus more on your studies. This is your last year in college and after that, you can do whatever you want. So I don’t want a repeat of last year and want you to sincerely study this time.” She spoke, her voice slowly getting soft and low.
You can do whatever you want
Huh! Her words actually reminded me of a meme I saw.
It went something like this;
You can do whatever you want after high school
You can do whatever you want after college
You can do whatever you want after graduation
You can do whatever you want after getting married
You can do whatever you want after getting kids
You can’t do what you want! You have a family and responsibilities to take care of!!
And below that, there a man with his eyebrows pulled up oddly and his mouth a angled upwards slightly, accompanying a text bubble in which was written, ’Am I a joke to you?′
I mentally laughed remembering this meme.
Involuntarily, a small smile formed on my lips which I tried hard to fight but in the end, a smile is a smile you know, it wins.
Mrs. Negi’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
“Jaziel...you need to do better this year.” A sigh could be heard past her lips.
My gaze averted back to her face. What was I expecting to see? Anger? Frustration? Irritation? Annoyance?
But what I didn’t expect was to see compassion and hope lingering in her eyes.
Her voice went from irritating to concerned in a matter of few minutes.
I know she was concerned about her students. No matter how much I joke about it, I know that she wanted each and every student of hers to graduate with flying colours.
And I also knew what last year she was talking about. I had almost failed her subject, mind you, almost.
But I didn’t. And I passed only by one more mark.
Just fucking one!
And that was how she showed that she is giving me one last chance to rectify myself and study properly. She was a nice teacher. I didn’t dislike her , it was just she chose a subject like accountancy to teach.
Why? Why did she choose fucking accountancy?
Accountancy is like stupid bitter guard and spicy chillis mixed together given to a person having sweet tooth.
You can guess now what I mean.
At that time, when the sheer amount of embarrassment was gripping me, anger at myself was clutching me in it’s hard grip and motivation left me completely as if I’m her crush since so long and I fucking painfully rejected her.
Yeah, it was kind of like that time when I had promised myself to study more and better and score good grades.
Though I don’t know if grades even matter in college but then again, what do I fucking know these days? Nothing. Nada.
But anyhow, at that time when I was determined to study and had my motivation like I just climbed Mount Everest. I had actually thought I would be able to stick with this throughout the year but no, that all went away only after a few days and I was back to my lazy and carefree lifestyle.
No, I’m not lazy as in lazy all day. I’m just lazy in studying, especially accounts and finance.
So I pursed my lips together to not let out any sarcastic remark and actually listen to her once.
I could faintly hear the rustling in the corridors indicating it was just one or two minutes for the next class to begin and I need to get out of here fast.
Thinking that, I turned to face my teacher and took a deep breath,
“I promise I’ll focus completely on studies this year and won’t let you down.” Now, that was lie. A big, fat lie because no way in hell am I actually going to study accounts.
Accounts? Me? Nope.
It literally feels like it’s eating my fucking brain.
I could have just listened to her speaking and then went away quietly. But no, I like playing around so I didn’t roll my eyes, I didn’t show my fucking frustration in being here with her, instead I answered her politely.
That’s the thing you know, it’s so much better this way, make teachers feel like I’m actually concerned listening to her and then do whatever the fuck I want.
Because I don’t want to stay here one more fucking minute.
So after answering her with a brief fake smile, I turned around and had just took a single step forward when the teacher teaching Satan’s subject spoke again.
Oh my freaking god!!
“I know you won’t. Do you think I’m stupid? That I have forgotten how many times you have said the same thing before? Miss Pabme, it won’t work. I conduct study sessions in the evening on Wednesdays and Fridays. You should come to that.”
She knows me too well.
She was also actually one of the fee teachers who cared enough to hold extra study sessions in the evening. I’ve heard that teachers even get paid for it but from the looks of it, I don’t think Mrs. Negi cares much about payment as much as she cares for her students to score good.
Quickly racing through my mind to see if I have any evening class - I don’t.
Inwardly pouting, I contemplated lying and saying that I have evening classes but then again, she would already be knowing my full timetable considering she’s one of those teachers who does full research on each of their students.
I turned around on my heels and slowly met her gaze. I had expected her her to be angry at me and have a smug smile when she caught on to my lie but instead, her eyebrows were scrunched together in confusion and lips folded together as if trying to figure why are there horns on my head.
No, I don’t actually have horns but it seems like she was trying to figure something as hard as that.
“I can’t.” Just that. I can’t. Because I fucking can’t. I have other things to do. I decided that go with the truth instead of lying.
I had expected that so I answered what I usually say, ” I have dance practice on these days.” Which was true. I did have them.
“Then we can have private study sessions on weekends. One to one?” She asked, a hopeful look in her eyes.
God! She actually wanted me to study.
I scratched my head a bit and looked away before answering,
“I have to accompany my aunt and uncle to their office these days. You know so I could learn something practical in business.”
“On weekends too?” I could hear the suspicion in her voice but I didn’t let it bother me.
I quickly nodded my head to her question.
I could hear her sigh. She swallowed and gazed back at me. She had a worried look on her face.
“How about early mornings? On whichever days you would feel comfortable?”
I sighed. She really wanted to help me, didn’t she?
Well, then why doesn’t she stop teaching the Satan’s subject?
Now, that would be a damn big help!
I exhaled a shallow breath and moved my tongue around inside my mouth as if actually considering her suggestion because I wasn’t actually in real.
I clicked my tongue in answer and quickly added,
“Nope. I have other things to do.”
Yes, like sleeping and sleeping and oh, sleeping!
Yeah, well, whatever.
“Then there’s only one option left.” Her gaze scrutinised me under it.
“What?” I asked. I wanted to get this over with as soon as I can.
Stupid fucking marshmallows
I cursed inside my head looking at the clock in front of me.
I would be late to my business class, the next one. My patience wearing thin at how slow she was being.
Couldn’t she have had this conversation some other time? Some other day?
As if you are available any other time.
Shut up! You idiot.
Can’t believe you are actually calling yourself an idiot!
*Sighing* why did I have to be your conscience?
Feeling frustrated with myself and this spectacled teacher in front of me, I gritted my teeth to control myself from lashing out.
“Tutoring. You need to have a tutor.”
I looked back at my teacher before looking at the clock ticking at it’s pace.
Geeez! It’s been five minutes since class started.
God! I actually liked that class. Mr. Todd was so nice and always friendly with us.
Wait...what did she say?
“Excuse me?!” All my anxiousness to reach business class early flew out of the windows and my concentration went on to her words.
“A tutor? No thanks, I’m fine.” I hated the idea of that.
I don’t need a tutor. I can up my grades my self. Nothing that a tutor can do. I can just do self study by myself and get good grades.
Yeah, as if that’s been helpful these past years because I could still remember you are failing two subjects and have assignments due of others!
Almost! Almost failing you stupid, idiot damn me!
You failed accountancy mid semester tests.
Point taken. I’m guilty as charged.
Now fucking stop!
“No, you are not doing fine. I’m your teacher. I know better than you. I have seen your grades and I have seen you not focusing in class. You need a tutor unless you magically become smart overnight.”
She was getting on my nerves and before I would start arguing with her, I need to get out of here and get to my next class.
“I’m getting late for my class. I should go!” I told my teacher before trying to walk away but she spoke again.
But I had already turned around and out of her ear shot. Quickly walking outside, I decided to just leave the business class today and go rest a bit.
No matter how much of a bitch I am or how much I like to make a grand entrance, I hate going late to class and especially to a class I actually enjoy.
Thinking back to Mrs. Negi, I sighed a relief.
Shit! That teacher can really talk. Huh!
It’s me again 😁
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