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A feeling of Alignment

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They say affairs are wrong and people get hurt. But what if the ‘affair’ was the only thing in your life that felt right? At 26, Darcy had planned on still being a party girl, living her best life in Ibiza or any various party Island but life hadn’t gone as planned. An accidental pregnancy led her on a different path and she found herself swept along with being conventional and signing up for an unhappy marriage. It took sexy Scottish farmer Rory to come into her life, for her to finally realise life was too short to settle. If love felt as good as she did when she was around him, then there were some big decisions to be made. 'If the Love doesn't feel like 90's R&B, then I don't want it!'

4.7 84 reviews
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Chapter 1

Darcy Matthews, once the hard-hitting party girl of 2017. Now a 26-year-old mother, paralyzed after a night of too many Proseccos.

I had not felt this bad from alcohol in years, my mouth was dry, my head banging and I was sure I had suffered some form of stroke in the night. To top it all off I couldn’t remember getting home. Shit was I even home? I reluctantly opened my eyes to assess the damage and to my relief, I was in my lounge - not in my bed, but I was home. I was laid on the rug by the fire, it was a good rug but I would suffer with my back later. As I forced my heavy eyes open further I saw Kerry looking dead on my sofa.

“Kerry,” I muttered, my voice so hoarse I didn’t recognise it.

“KERRY.” Fuck, maybe she is dead!

I didn’t have the energy to get up and check and I must have fallen back to sleep as the next time I opened my eyes I could hear Lucas giggling.

Kiran had said he would let us sleep until at least ten am, so it must have been past that.

I finally feel able to stand. As I do, I catch my reflection in the mirror. Oh boy, I’m a mess. I decide to dash upstairs to sort myself before Lucas sees me. I don’t want to scare him with my, Regan from the Exorcist look!

Kerry has moved so I assume she’s fine, unless Kiran panicked and hid the body!

In the bathroom, I peeled off my sweaty, smelling clothes and jumped into the hot shower. As the water bounced onto my face, snippets of last night started to return, like photos flashing before my eyes. The 5 bottles of Prosecco – Regret. The shots, bought by some random guys who were trying to get into Lucy’s pants – Regret. My flirting with the sexy bouncer, who let us into the VIP lounge because I didn’t stop him ogling my chest – Regret. Then there was the kebab at the end of the night, ruining my diet for the whole week – Biggest regret.

Since having Lucas 2 years ago I had struggled to lose weight, everyone said I was fine and I felt ok but I had never been a size 14 and it had starting to impact my self-esteem. Last night was my first big night out in ages and just getting attention from men had been a great boost to my ego, I felt like the old me again.

Kiran was supportive of me and never commented on how I looked but being married with a two-year-old made romance and sexy time a rarity. We were always exhausted and it felt like life was all about surviving - surviving each hour, each day. Amongst that life had become drab and routine and I guessed that was what came when you started a family.

“Mummy,” Lucas shouted, as he ran full steam at me. His blond curls bouncing on his head as he jumped up and down. Even though I was only just surviving, I loved that little boy more than anything and I wouldn't change any of it if it meant not having my main man in my life.

“Hello my baby.” I forced my cheery self out and pulled him in for a hug. I was once told, kids were made cute so all the hard stuff and difficult times melted away once you looked at them and I see something in it, when I hugged Lucas nothing else mattered.

Apart from my banging headache, that, I couldn't ignore!

Kiran was stood in the kitchen with Kerry when I walked in with Lucas. She was slouched over a coffee at the breakfast bar looking as bad as I felt.

“Oh, you’re awake,” Kiran said sarcastically, as I approached the coffee machine. Coffee my second favourite thing in the world!

“I think so,” I muttered while using my hands to hold my throbbing head together.

Kerry took a sip from her coffee and came alive. “Oh girl, we were crazy last night, definitely a birthday to remember,” she said.

“Do you feel ok? How can you even speak? I feel like death,” I commented and Kerry laughed, way to alert after the amount of alcohol she put back last night.

“I feel better now I’ve had two coffees, but don’t look in the front garden yet, you might just die.”

I raised my eyebrows questionably, what was she talking about? I looked to Kiran and he was shaking his head disapprovingly.

“What did you do Kerry?” I questioned.

Kerry laughed again. “Oh, it was all you. I’m not taking the shit for this one.”

I ventured to the front door with my coffee in hand. It couldn’t have been us, no way could we carry a two-seater sofa without help. I felt Kerry giggling behind me but I didn’t find a dirty old sofa on my front lawn funny and from the look on Kiran’s face, neither did he.

“What the F?” I had to contain my foul obscenities from my two year olds innocent ears.

“Well, you wanted to carry it to have a rest on the way home, kept making us stop for a break on it.” Kerry was laughing but all I could think about was scabies. I started to itch, we couldn’t have found a grimmer sofa.

“I just hope the neighbours don’t think it’s our old sofa,” Kiran commented as he picked Lucas up and headed back into the lounge. He was really angry, I was really angry and I was the one who brought it home.

I nudged Kerry and shook my head. “Why would you let me do this?” I asked accusingly.

“As if anyone can stop you when you get an idea in your head.”

“I’m a fucking married mother, living in a well-respected area, why do I do this shit?”

“Come on, don’t sweat it, it was hilarious last night.”

“I just hope Kiran will get rid of it, unless you want to take it home?”

“Nooooo,” she laughed. “I have a perfectly good sofa. I’m all good thanks.”

I felt itchy everywhere, I hoped it was all in my head. “I don’t have time for fucking scabies, we’re going to Edinburgh tomorrow.”

“We will be fine, speaking of Edinburgh, I better head off. I have some packing to do.”

Kerry worked with me as my assistant, I had landed an amazing job as a lead farm assessor in Lancashire earlier this year and I loved it. Kerry was my wing woman and assistant. We generally worked locally but the service was struggling for staff in Edinburgh so we had agreed to go up there to cover for a few weeks. It meant leaving Kiran and Lucas but it was work. I never worked away from the area so it wasn’t often that a chance came up to network with others, it was a good opportunity for us both and a great learning curve for me in my new role.

Kerry started to gather her things together. “Well I better go and prepare for the Scottish farmers, I’ve heard great things.” Kiran didn’t flinch at her comment and I was a bit wounded that he didn’t feel threatened by the fact that his wife was going away and would be working with predominantly males.

He was getting Lucas a snack when I returned from waving Kerry off. I watched him from the kitchen doorway. I do love Kiran, he’s a great dad to our son but I often questioned if he was the one. There was never that great spark with him, that electricity or passion-filled sex where we couldn’t make it to the bedroom. I often wondered if that was a real thing, if people really had that or if it was merely a fabricated myth.

We had met through mutual friends and kind of ended up together, we weren't even in a committed relationship when we had an unplanned pregnancy with Lucas. Kiran wanted to get married before the baby came (mainly to please his parents) so that’s how I ended up a married mother by the age of 26. I don't know if it was the fear of being a single mother or the hormones but I did often wonder what in that moment made me agree to this life.

It wasn’t what I had planned, I wanted to be in Ibiza having it off with DJ’s and dancing the night away at 26, the only time I thought I would settle down would be if that one true love came in and swept me off my feet. I don't know, I guess I was naive but life had different ideas for me.

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