More and more tears slid down my face as I sat there on the ground thinking about how fast I ruined my relationship with Kenneth. He was right. I am a piece of filth, a whore. I shouldn’t have gotten into the same bed as Dimitri. It wasn’t right of me to do so when I was dating Kenneth. Even if Dimitri and I didn’t do anything, it was still wrong and horrible of me. It wasn’t fair to Kenneth. He was perfect, everything I’d want in a guy. But I ruined it.
If I was in Kenneth’s place, I’d do the same. I’d dump my sorry ass right away. Kenneth is probably so hurt right now. I know I’d be, if I was him.
I wanted to go back to him and apologize. To do everything I possibly could to get him to forgive me. But I knew right now wasn’t the time. He was angry and he needed time to let off some of that steam.
But I wanted him back right now. I missed him already. I wanted him to wrap me up in his arms and kiss me. But I of course have to mess everything up.
I felt a hand on my shoulder knowing it was Dimitri’s. I wiped my tears away looking up at Dimitri. He knelt down in front of me. “Don’t cry over him. You don’t need him.” He said causing me to shake my head.
“I do need him. I love him!” I exclaimed as more tears slid down my face. Dimitri sighed, grabbing onto my hand and pulling me up into a standing position. “Come on Isabella. If you look at it logically, you don’t need him. He’s not the air you breathe. He’s not water. He’s not food. He’s not sleep. He’s just a demon, you supposedly fell in love with. You don’t need him. You only want him.”
“Well, you’re heartless Dimitri! And you don’t know how it feels to love someone. I bet you’ve never even loved your parents!” I exclaimed as more tears fell down my face. He didn’t know how it felt to have your heart broken and to know that you’re the reason someone else’s heart is broken as well. He didn’t know how to love anyone or anything. Whether it be be romantic love, friendship love, family love. He didn’t know it. How could he? He’s a monster.
“And what makes you think I’ve never loved? How would you know? Have you been watching my entire life unfold before your eyes as if it were a movie?” He demanded in anger.
“Well you’re a heartless monster. You don’t care about anyone but yourself.” I said wiping my tears away.
“You are right Isabella. You are completely right. I am heartless.” He said sarcastically. “I am so heartless, I decided not to kill you. I am so heartless that I also spared the lives of the rest of the 19 girls sent down to me. I am so heartless that I even spared your family. Can you believe it? So heartless of me.”
I started crying even more now. I felt so pathetic and horrible. I just wanted to go home. I wanted my mom and dad. I wanted my brother and sister. I didn’t want to be here. It was horrible of me to think this but I wished someone else was here instead of me. I wished I didn’t have to deal with demons, with Dimitri, with the Shadows, with a broken heart, with anything. I just wanted to go home and curl up in a ball underneath my blanket and never come out. But all I could do was stand in front of Dimitri pathetically bawling like a baby.
Dimitri had an annoyed, angry scowl on his face that it greatly surprised me when he suddenly pulled me into his arms in what seemed to be a hug. I was stiff with shock at the fact that Dimitri was actually hugging me.
Dimitri. Was. Actually. Hugging. Me. Even. When. He. Was. Completely. Pissed. At. Me.
It was taking me quite a while to process that but once it finally got through with my slow working brain, I relaxed in his hold and rested my cheek against his hard chest. Once I was completely relaxed, he tightened his hold on me. I held tightly onto him as well, letting out all my tears. Dimitri remained quiet, letting me cry for a good ten minutes. When I was done, I pulled away from him even though I really didn’t want to.
He then walked out the door, without so much as a glance my way.
“Hey Bella, I heard about you and Kenneth.” Devon hesitantly said approaching me. I nodded my head as I mopped the floor. I felt tears prick my eyes at the thought of Kenneth.
Devon lifted my face up by my chin, making me look up into his eyes. “I know you’re heartbroken, but just know that people break up all the time. You’ll get over him eventually.” He said softly.
“But I don’t want to get over him. I want us to get together again.” My voice shook as I tried to hold my tears in.
“Try talking it out. Communication. That’s what’s key in a successful relationship. But remember, even if after that it doesn’t work out, doesn’t mean you won’t ever get over him. It doesn’t mean you won’t ever fall in love again. It just means that he wasn’t meant for you. It means he wasn’t the one made solely for you. It means that you get to have another chance to find the person you truly are meant for. Same for him. He’ll then get the chance to find the one person he’s truly meant for.” Devon said smiling encouragingly at me.
“And what if I never find that one person I’m meant for? What then?” I asked wiping the tears that escaped my eyes away.
“You will Isabella.” He said assuringly. “Everyone has that one person they’re meant for. I do, you do, Kenneth does. Hell even Dimitri does, though I feel bad for whoever’s stuck with him.” He said chuckling at the last bit. I laughed too.
“No seriously think about it. Dimitri. Dimitri fucking Rae, having a soul mate. Someone he loves. And someone who actually loves him back.” Devon said causing us both to burst out laughing. We both clutched our stomachs in pain because of how hard we were laughing.
We laughed for quite a long time before our laughter finally died down. “It’d actually be hilarious seeing Dimitri acting like a lovesick puppy.” I said giggling at the thought.
“We should set him up with someone.” Devon suggested and I nodded my head eagerly. “After you set out your issues with Kenneth.”
“Yeah.” I said sighing.
After lunch, I went up to Kenneth’s room. I was going to talk things out with him and hopefully set everything straight.
I hesitantly knocked on his door, patiently waiting for him to open the door. After a few long seconds, he finally opened the door, a scowl setting deep on his face once he saw it was me.
I looked down at the ground not knowing how to start and what to say. “Um, can I please talk to you?” I asked, looking up at him with a hopeful look on my face.
“No.” He said before he made to close the door. I pressed my hand against the door before he could fully close it.
“Please Kenneth. I know I hurt you and I’m hurting too. So please let me explain things. I just want to fix our relationship. I care a lot about you. I love you in fact. I know I’ve never said it before but I do. I really do! And I need you, Kenneth. I need you more than anything. So please let me explain. What happened was a big misunderstanding and you need to know that. So please give me a chance to explain. I promise I’ll leave after that if you still don’t want to take me back.” I said, begging him with my eyes.
He looked away from me, seeming to be thinking before he slowly nodded his head. “Fine.” He said. “Come in. You’ve got five minutes.”
“Thank you so much Kenneth!” I exclaimed, sighing in relief.