It’s been fifteen days and I have not gotten my period. I’m a nervous wreck. I’ve been in my apartment all day wearing a tank top and white panties. Nothing. Not a single drop of blood has come out of my vagina and to make it worse, I didn’t PMS. I didn’t get headaches, or mood swings, or anything period related. If I don’t have it by 10 pm, I am taking the tests. Sara is the only other one here and she is being really supportive. Avery and Cassie had to work. Alex wanted to be here for the test, I said that was fine, so he is coming by tonight around eight; its seven now. Honestly, I’d feel better with him here. He’s good at calming me down for some reason. Maybe he’s studying to be therapist. I make a note to ask him about that later.
“I’m making chicken soup, did you want some?” Sara asks as she enters my room. I am sitting on my bed staring at the bag that holds the tests. “If you want to take them now, you can,” I shake my head.
“No, it’s not that, I mean it is somewhat, but not really. My life could change with those results,” I glance up at her. “Sorry, I’m not the best company. I’d love some soup. I’ll get up and eat with you, I’m not depressed, just waiting for blood,” she laughs and sits on my bed.
“I know you think I’m judging you, that I want to throw you in the Jordan River and have it cleanse you of your sins,” I laugh because that is kind of what I’m thinking. “But, that’s not what I’m thinking; I’m thinking of how I would react in your shoes, I’m thinking about what I would do and honestly? I don’t know. I don’t know how I would handle this. Because this is fucked up, you’re 21 and possibly pregnant. And from a one night stand, no less! And the father is willing to stay and help you! I don’t know how you are going to do this, buy I want you to know that I will be here for you. I also want to be Aunt Sara,” I grin.
“But of course! Aunt Sara, Aunt Cassie, and Aunt Avery. I’d have to talk to Alex, but how do you feel about being the Godmother? In case something happens to us? I don’t want my father in this baby’s life and there is no way he’d allow my mother to care for another child,” she looks at me, seemingly shocked.
“Me? But what about Avery or Cassie?” I frown.
“If you don’t want to, I mean you don’t have to, I was asking if you’d-” she cuts me off.
“No, no, I’d love to, but I thought your first choice would be Avery,” I shake my head.
“I trust all of you girls with my life; I love all of you as if you were my own blood, but of the three of you, you’re the most practical one,” She smiles.
“Well, if it is okay with Alex, I’d love to be the Godmother of your child,” she hugs me and we sit for a few and I hear her stomach growl. We both burst into laughter and she gets up. “Want to help make the soup? I’ve already boiled the chicken, we just need to cut that and the vegetables,” I stand with her and we make our way to the kitchen.
True to her word, the chicken was on one cutting board and the vegetables were on another on the island. Our kitchen is small but we don’t have a table; we have an island with stools to sit on. The kitchen is connected to the living room and there is a small hallway with three bedrooms and two full bathrooms. I share the master bed and bath with Cassie. Sara and Avery have their own rooms and share their bathroom.
“Can you cut the carrots and celery?” I grab a stalk of celery, rinse it, and take it to the cutting board. Sara had already placed a knife down so I start chopping the celery into pieces as Sara turns the radio on and we both cut and chop our respective items to the oh-so-wonderful song Living on a Prayer. I finish my celery stalk and move to the sink to wash the carrot sticks and chop those up, too.
A knock on the door interrupts Sara as she is telling me about her psychology class as we eat. I glance at her. “Can you get it? It’s probably Alex, but if it’s not then that would be awkward,” I gesture towards my bare legs and she nods and I glance towards the door.
It’s Alex. He is wearing a grey hoodie, black skinny jeans and converse, his hair is rumpled and his eyes are intense, holding the question we all have. I shake my head.
“Not yet and honestly, I’m losing hope,” He sighs and sits next to me on a bar stool. Sara returns to her seat and just sits there watching us. “Did you want some soup? It’s chicken noodle. We made it home made,” He smiles halfheartedly.
“I’d love some, thank you,” I make him a bowl and set it in front of him. Sara is the cook here and she is a great cook, too. He smiles at her.
“It’s delicious. I survive on pancakes, eggs, noodle items, and whatever cookies my parents bake for me,” I laugh.
“My mom doesn’t bake, she hired a cook after accidentally setting the smoke alarm off and sending me into a panic attack when I was seventeen,” he stares at me.
“A panic attack? Seriously?” I nod.
“Yeah, she is a great lawyer, really, she is, but she cannot cook to save a life,” He tilts his head a little.
“Not to be rude, but, what the hell is that?” he points behind me to the head statue on a pedestal in between two rooms. Sara burst into uncontrollable laughter and I grin.
“That is Benny, a gift from Avery’s aunt. She owns a furniture store, and that was a house warming gift,” he laughs.
“She gave you a head?”
“Well, she also gave us half off on everything in this apartment, but I rather like Benny,” Alex shakes his head and we finish our soup in silence. Alex breaks it first.
“Do you think you could do the tests now? I’ve been a nervous wreck all day. I can’t take it, I’m freaking out,” I sigh and look to Sara.
“It hasn’t come yet, I don’t think it’s going to come. You might as well do them now,” she looks sad. “I’ll clean up, you guys go,” I thank her and lead Alex to my bedroom. The tests are still on the bed where I left them.
“Um, do you mind waiting out here? I don’t actually want you to watch me pee,” he nods and sits on my bed and I grab both boxes and go into the bathroom closing the door behind me. I’ve read the directions over and over again, but I read them one more time to stall. But after reading them a third time, I know I can’t wait any longer, so I open both boxes and set each test on the counter and do as the box says. When I am done with the gross part I set a timer for five minutes on my phone and leave it on the counter before I open the bathroom door and go sit next to Alex on the bed.
“We have to wait five minutes,” I close my eyes and breathe for a moment and Alex grabs my hand. So we sit there and wait. I can hear Sara washing dishes and softly singing to herself. What feels like an eternity later the alarm goes off and I look to Alex; He’s frozen.
“Are you ready?” He exhales shakily.
“No,” I squeeze his hand.
“Me neither,” The alarm is still going off and he nods, stands, and turns to me. “There is no time like the present, right?” I can’t smile, so instead I stand and we go into the bathroom. I turn my alarm off and then look down. One by one, I pick up the tests and one by one I see two pink lines.