Living with dying

This happened very often, me waking up with the concerning wish that I instead didn't. I'm not one to feel sorry for myself but after what happened to me, it was inevitable to turn out as miserable as I am.

Each time I got hurt it felt like a piercing to my soul. A heart doesn't bleed forever.....eventually it stops bleeding and that would be the end of it's life. Mine has not died yet though, yes it bleeds but then again, it's still alive.

Hope still prides itself within me for keeping me alive till this day. Things will get better I just know it. Even though sometimes I feel like I'm falling an endless fall, I believe I will get to the bottom one day and land on my feet.

I throw the sheets off of me and climb out of bed. Yawning from laziness instead of tiredness I walk into the bathroom. I groan at the sight of my jet black bed hair reflected by the bathroom mirror. Atleast my soulmate will find me cute nonetheless, if such exists.

I get on with washing my body with my strawberry scented body wash. Rubbing my shampoo into my waist length hair, I sing firework by Katy Perry, loving the feel of my hands moving against my sculp.

It doesn't take me much longer to get ready and I am now walking down the staircase wearing a short - blue denim dress, since it's summer, matched with white converses. My hair tied into a messy but cute bun at the top of my head with strands of stubborn hair, falling at the sides of my face.

I follow the mouth watering aroma that makes my stomach growl into the kitchen. Greeting my parents with a kiss on the cheek, I take a sit at the table. A simple conversation ensues as we enjoy our breakfast as a family. My father is a quite handsome man in his early forties with chocolate brown hair and dark brown eyes. I am the spitting image of my mother whom has jet black hair and ocean blue eyes.

It's now time for me to head to school so I rush out of the house, not before kissing my parents goodbye frantically. I usually take my car but it's at the garage for repairs so I'm forced to walk a thirty minute walk to school. It's really not that bad but I complain anyway because, well I don't know, maybe because I'm used to driving there.

I step into the school premises, rolling my eyes when I spot a couple making out. It's early in the morning for fluff's sake!!

I take out the books I will need for the first three periods from my bag and stuff the rest into my locker. I am met with my best friend's eyes when I close the locker, jumping out of my skin.

"Nihan!!" I shout playfully, clutching my chest faking a heart attack.

"What?" She questions nonchalantly.

"You scared me, you punk."

"Whatever" She rolls her eyes dismissing my dramatic act. "Asher asked me out on a date!" She squeals, her mood completely different from seconds ago.

My eyes widen in surprise although I knew it was bound to happen sooner or later. Nihan is a beautiful Turkish girl with chocolate brown hair and light green eyes with specks of blue. She is shorter than me but not enough to make me feel uncomfortable. See I don't like being around people who are way shorter than me because they make me uncomfortable. They make me feel like a giant and I just don't like it.

"So when is the date?" I ask because I want to help her get ready for it.

"Oh, it's tomorrow night." We chatter away as we make our way to homeroom.

Ofcourse Nihan cannot shut up about Asher and goes on talking about him but I don't mind, I love seeing her this giddy.

The class gets noisy when students file in and soon enough, everyone has settled down into their usual spots. Mrs Jones, our homeroom teacher walks in and carries out today's announcements and all that uninteresting stuff.

I look outside the window to distract myself, looking at the green trees and the blue sky.

I feel a nudge at my side and look over to Nihan in curiosity. When she doesn't say anything, I frown and instead look in the direction her eyes are fixed and my heart drops. Two boys stand in the front, patiently waiting as the teacher introduces them. I don't catch their names as I am stuck in my own little world, admiring the boy to the left.

He has forest green eyes and chocolate brown hair that looks so soft that it makes me want to run my fingers through it. My eyes land on his pink and plump lips, gulping harshly at the thought of them on mine.

He scans the room and his eyes land on me, a smug smirk appearing on his lips. Realizing that I have been staring at him, I blush in embarrassment looking down at my hands and fiddling with them.

Snap out of it!