My Twisted Lovers - Book Two of The Forbidden Lust

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Chapter 108

I keep the smile on my face despite the fact all I want to do is scan the crowd for Helena and beg her to get as far away from me as possible. I don’t, I know what will happen if I do.

Instead I let my mother pull me into action as she drags me and Emma to the stage. My mother’s fingernails dig into my arms as a warning, reminding me what will happen if I go off script. My whole body shakes as I try to take in her words, her fake laughter only leading to more from the crowd until I want to be sick. Fake, all of them, completely and utterly fake. This whole world of the elite is nothing without its faux facade of superiority and happiness. I have to find a way out, a way to free myself from these shackles.

Mother directs me to the mic, my throat filling with bile at the thought of saying these words knowing Helena is here somewhere. I have to, if I don’t it will be worse. Having her hate me is better than having her dead.

I start the speech, keeping my eyes on Emma as much as I can as she gives me a sympathetic look of encouragement. I don’t mean them, not a single word. My mother’s imaginary story about Emma telling me when we were seven how one day we’ll have a baby making me want to laugh, it couldn’t be further from the truth. Emma wanted to surf on every beach this side of the equator, she never had any interest in marriage or kids, it was why we got on so well.

Coming to the final line my heart sinks. It wasn’t here earlier, it isn’t even written in the same colour ink. I take a deep breath, praying to every god that Helena has already found herself far from this place before she hears it, the words that were so often on the tip of my tongue when I found myself looking into Helena’s eyes written here. Three little words that I knew she was frightened to say to me and I didn’t want to force her into. Three words I wish I had said to her every moment I got the chance to now.

“There is nothing I wouldn’t do to protect the ones I love and Emma... I love you most of all. You are my family, no-one else.”

I love you Helena.

The crowd cheers, raising their glasses in a toast as my mother stands smugly at my side. I help Emma down from the stage, finally giving into my urges and scanning the crowd of faces for the only one I truly wish to see.

She’s not here, or at least she isn’t anymore. I feel for my phone, remembering how it’s still in my office desk even if she did try to contact me now.

The music starts, the party underway as me and Emma are bombarded by person after person regarding us with mock enthusiasm for our new stage of life. So many faces, so many of the same questions that eventually they all melt into one blur.

I’m not sure how long I’ve been standing here, I can’t count the amount of people I’ve had to thank. Emma looks as exhausted as I am while my mother keeps her on her feet and drags her around like a prize pig at the County fair.

This can’t be my life, it can’t be my future. Being with Helena has shown me there is so much more to life than this, there is a world where people love and care about you because of who you are, not because of how it will help them. This world has forced me to take something so pure and precious, a girl with a smile big enough to carry the universe yet a heart even bigger, and break her.

Emma returns to my side, exhaustion already clear in her eyes as she pleads with me to let her sit. I pull out a chair before my mother can call her elsewhere and she sits quickly.

“Thanks Chris, I think if I stayed on my feet much longer this baby was-” She becomes distracted by something behind me. “Chris, who is that? What are they doing?”

I don’t get time to turn before my name is screamed in a heartbroken howl on the wind.

“CHRISTOPHER!”

Helena?

My eyes travel in the direction of the sound as gasps and screams surround me, my vision becoming disorientated by the sun until finally I see her.... standing on the edge of the roof.

No.

I try to move, shoving everything in my path to the side as I scramble across the crowd of people to where she is.

“HELENA! DON’T!”

Running as fast as my legs can carry me I watch as she let’s go of her grip on the pillar that was keeping her anchored. I scream for her to step back but I can see in her face that she can’t hear me.

Tears stream down my face as my body cries out for oxygen, my mind flashing back to my first meeting with Helena. The perfect beauty with so much light, now snuffed our by my families darkness. I can’t get to her, I can’t get to her!

She did everything, loved me so purely and without conditions. I did nothing but let her down, I should’ve picked her that night, I should’ve pulled her onto the dance floor and kissed her like in my dreams. I should’ve shown the whole world what we were, I should’ve told her how I felt, my mother couldn’t have stopped us then. I should’ve done anything but let her return to this dark place.

She told me, she fucking told me about the hate she had in her heart for herself, how ever since she lost her sister she felt empty and like she didn’t deserve to be here. I remember the first time I saw her legs, the scars were still fresh then. Tiny little cuts she gave herself as punishment for surviving that night. I kissed them, each and every one hoping to pull the pain from her so she’d never hurt herself again.

I thought I did it, I thought I fixed her.

I’m close, she’ll be able to hear me now. I pull in a breath before I attempt to shout but she speaks first, the words I know she’s been holding in for just as long as I have.

“I love you Christopher.”

My heart stops. My body stops. My world ends as I watch her step off the roof and begin to fall.

I scream, everything in my body coming out as a primal shriek while I beg and plead for this to be a nightmare, I claw at my skin begging myself to wake up.

She falls, her body graceful even now as the strong wind does nothing to slow her descent. My feet refuse to move as she draws closer, my mouth still screaming in a way my ears can no longer hear.

Then she hits the ground. The sound of her bones breaking piercing through the bubble I’d found myself in until all I can do is stare at her; broken, bleeding and alone.

Falling to my knees my body collapses, the weight of my heart breaking too much to bare. I feel nothing, I am nothing. All that I am just fell to the ground with her. I killed my love.

I hadn’t realised there was anyone around me until a scream fills my ears, a body falling to her knees next to me as I turn to see Rayna shrieking and sobbing, her whole being rocking back and forth as she stares at Helena in a state of total despair. She can hardly breathe as her cries plead throughout from her soul.

Someone walks past me, Antonio walking slowly towards Helena as he leans down to look at her, tears in his eyes as he stares at the face I cannot see.

“Don’t touch her!”

I don’t want any of them near her. I scramble onto my hands and knees, the gravel digging into my palms as I crawl towards where she is. Antonio steps back, a nod of understanding and sorrow towards me before he commands the others that have gathered to get away from us.

Coming to her side I move her hair so I can finally see her face, her eyes already closed as her body spills out with blood onto the arm that sits under her head. She landed amongst the flower bed, her body surrounded by a sea of white daisies that are now splattered with red.

I drag her head onto my lap and my heart sinks as her blood continues to pour out into the fabric of my pants. The tears flow freely down my face and hit her own as with a quivering hand I place my fingers against her neck to search for a pulse, the people around us scream for help and the sound of sirens fill the air as I search frantically.

There is so much I want to say to her, so many regrets I want to share but right now as I push my fingers against the delicate skin of her neck I can only think of one question...

How the fuck is she still alive?
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