My Twisted Lovers - Book Two of The Forbidden Lust

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Chapter 117

Helena had been drifting in and out all day and night. Valerie sent me home to sleep but I couldn’t get more than an hour without shooting back up in my bed so I came back early this morning just to sit with her.

She was more lucid now, although not completely herself still. Nothing could change that shining personality of hers though.

“So we’re friends? Like real friends? I remember you from that dance class I took but I don’t remember us being friends. I’m sorry.”

I nod, my heart still breaking as I realise how little she remembers. We were still trying to completely pin down where her current memory ends but it was fuzzy.

“Don’t be sorry babe, it’ll all come back to you. Yep, good friends, you’ve slotted yourself in well with our little group. Aleah and Jayce still want to come see you, Josh and Kal too.”

Her eyes shoot open. “Jayce? As in Jayce Thompson! I’m friends with captain of the basketball team Jayce Thompson! Oh my god... He’s so dreamy.”

Dear lord, sometimes I forget that most girls in that school went to sleep at night with that boys year book picture tucked in next to them. I always just thought he was a dick so I never saw the appeal personally.

“The one and only. Although you’re pretty good mates with the mother of his kid now, so maybe lay off the dreamy stuff.”

She laughs and it’s the most beautiful noise I’ve ever heard anyone make. It’s something a part of me feared I’d never hear again.

“He tried to donate blood when you needed it but he wasn’t a match, otherwise you would’ve had a part of him in you always babes.” The blush claws from her chest up her cheeks. “You did get a pretty decent load of Josh and Drew though.”

Valerie was asleep in the chair next to the bed, the exhaustion of the last week catching up on her but she still wouldn’t go home.

Helena glanced over at the water and I brought it to her quickly. She still couldn’t move anything above her neck but she hadn’t complained once, she was just being her usual happy self despite the circumstances.

The doctor had told us not to talk about the suicide attempt until she was stronger, that forcing her to relive those memories before she was ready could cause some serious issues so it was best to just call it ‘an accident’ for now.

Most of Helena’s body was still wrapped in plaster and would remain that way for a while. Only after all that was healed would we know the true extent of the damage. Right now though the pain killers were working their magic, and despite the fact she was sleeping all the time, she was her usual personification of sunshine once again.

“I need to thank them. When they visit I’ll see if I can get them a gift or promise to bake them brownies or something when I get out of here. What can you do to say thank you to people who saved your life?”

I shake my head. “Not sure. When I need to thank a guy for something I usually just give them head, but I don’t think that’s an option here.”

She closes her eyes trying to hide her nervousness at my words and I mentally slap myself. It’s become clear from her talk that Helena’s memories appear to stop around two years ago. The doc said some should come back but nothing has so far, leaving me with a girl who still thinks she’s a seventeen year old virgin and is definitely not used to my way of talking. We hadn’t quite explained to her exactly how much time she’d lost yet because she may regain more memories as the time goes on.

“Sorry... So that thing you told your mum earlier, about leaving for your volunteering job and promising to pick up shopping, is that still the last thing you remember?” It seemed odd because the doctor said most people’s memories stop at a substantial event, something that would be etched into your mind but hers just seemed completely random.

She glances over at her mother to make sure she’s still sleeping before turning back to me.

“You’re one of my best friends right? So you’d know things about me I wouldn’t tell my mum?” I nod with a smile, I know a lot of this girls dirty little secrets. She continues. “Do I have a boyfriend?”

Oh fuck.

The one topic I’ve been actively avoiding since we began speaking and the only other thing than me that she’d forgotten entirely.

Christopher.

She looks at me with hope but I’m not sure I could tell her about Christopher without it leading to more questions that would only take us to how she ended up in here.

“Why do you ask babe? Do you remember something else?” I’d let her dictate where this conversation went.

“Kind of, it’s weird. I was volunteering in the hospital and was putting the books back when I saw this guy. He was sitting in the library crying his eyes out and my heart almost beat out of my chest when I saw him. I know we talked after that but I can’t remember what we said, I just remember feeling... happy. I hadn’t felt happy for so long but I sat with him and I felt better than I had in such a long time. I don’t remember anything after that but I do have this feeling that he... kept making me happy. Did I see him again? Do you know his name?”

Yeah I think I do babe, but I can’t tell you.

Okay, keep it simple. “You were with a guy but it didn’t end well. He didn’t make you happy in the end.”

Her glowing eyes grow dim and my heart along with them. I don’t know where things stand with Christopher, no ones heard from him and I don’t think it’s worth breaking her heart all over again.

I can see her eyes closing once more. “Hey babe, I’ve got to get to work but I’ll call you later or pop back in if you’re feeling up to it.” She hardly nods before she’s pulled back into her sleeping state.

I stir Val gently to tell her I’m leaving but she also quickly returns to her slumber.

Sitting in my car outside the hospital I know I should just go to work. The guy fucked her over, he fucked her over so badly she almost fucking died. I shouldn’t give a fuck about him...

So then why his my finger hanging over his number right now?

Because you have an irrational need to make everyone around you happy to fulfil the happiness you deny yourself Brie, obviously.

Hitting the green button I don’t even get it to my ear before he answers.

“Brie? Oh god, is it Helena? Is she okay?!”

He may be a prick but the way he worries about her, the way her name rolls off his tongue with such reverence, there’s no denying the love he has for her.

“She’s awake Chris. She woke up yesterday.”

There’s complete silence from him but I can hear him let out a deep breath before a door closes.

“I know, I have people keeping me updated on her.”

What the fuck? “If you know why the hell haven’t you come seen her yet? Don’t you give a shit that she’s awake?!”

“Of course I want to come see her Brie! I fucking love her!” I don’t think I’ve ever heard Christopher swear before... “I just... Her memory. Is it the same? Is it still spotty?”

I let out a deep breath of my own now, it actually hurts to say it.

“She doesn’t seem to remember anything beyond about two years ago at the moment... She doesn’t remember you Chris. Any of it.”

He sighs again. “Good. Don’t tell her.”

Wait, what? “What do you mean don’t tell her? We’re going to have to tell her at some point Chris! She can’t just have a massive part of her life taken away from her. Why would you want that?”

He breaks, the pain of his decision clear in his voice as it trembles with every word. “No Brie, I mean it. Don’t tell her about me... Hopefully she’ll never remember, she’ll get better and then meet somebody who actually deserves her. Somebody who would never cause someone as beautiful and pure as her the pain I did. Don’t tell her Brie, let her live free of this.”

This boy. It’s never going to be that easy. Love is something I know little of but I do know that it isn’t something that disappears over night. Even right now with her head scrambled more than an egg she still knows how he made her feel.

“Chris.. I just-”

“Don’t Brie, it’s for the best. I can’t give her what she deserves. I’ll still have the memories, having her for those two years has been a blessing I didn’t deserve. Living without her knowing I love her seems like a fitting punishment for what I did. I have to go Brie... I’m sorry. For all of it, I’m so sorry.”

“Christopher! Wait! Just tell me one thing, when you and Helena met, was it at the hospital?”

He pauses before answering. “Yes. I was in the library and she came to put some books away. Why?”

Oh god. “Her last memory. The very last thing she remembers is meeting you Chris. You’re there, it’s all there inside her head. You have to help her find it Chris, please don’t walk away from her. Not after everything you guys have been through. You have to find a way out, you have to find a way to be with her.”

I can hear him begin to sob down the phone and I just want to jump down the line and hug him. It’s too much, he’s too young to bare this kind of weight.

“...I-I can’t... I have to protect her... It’s better this way...”

“Chris-”

The line goes dead.

This isn’t fair. They’re just two people, two people who found each other and want to be together but can’t because other people think they’re so much more important. That money and status mean more than happiness and love.

There’s only one person responsible for this. For all of it. The same person who put Steve in the hospital, the same person who saw my bug at the bottom of a cliff.

The same person who tried to kill me.

I’m gonna end that bitch if it’s the last thing I ever fucking do.
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