Smirking down at my complete paper I for once feel confident about an exam, the longer I spend in this class I just know this is the job for me, it all comes so easily.
Deciding I can’t stare at the pages anymore I pick the paper up and walk down to the front. Connor smiles at me as I drop it into the tray.
“Yes sir.” I give him a wink as I walk back to my desk and pull my phone out ready to kill the next forty minutes. The moment I look at the screen my heart sinks.
‘Josh – He’s out and he’s okay. Everything went well but I think he’s still in pain’
‘Josh – He’s awake babe and he’s asking for you.’
‘Josh – Brie he’s in agony, they’re dosing him up with pain killers but it’s doing fuck all. He’s still asking for you. Can you come here when you get out?’
Fuck. Can I go? I mean I’ve finished the test so why not?
I throw all my stuff into my bag and bolt for the door.
“Um Brie? Where are you going?”
I turn around to see Connor and the test consultant starting at me.
“I’ve handed my stuff in and there’s an emergency I have to get to. Sorry, I’ve got to go.”
Pulling the door open I race out, I can hear someone calling after me but I don’t give a shit. He’s in pain and he’s asking for me so they can fucking fail me for all I care.
Digging through my bag I find my keys and keep running until I reach my car, my hand reaching for the handle as someone grabs my shoulder and spins me around.
“Brie what the hell happened?” Connor looks out of breath, the cold air showing his every exhale as a cloud of white smoke whilst he pants in front of me.
Shit, where the fuck are my keys? I dropped them when he grabbed me, looking around I spot them on the floor by my feet and pick them up quickly. “It’s just Steve, he needs me.”
I try to turn back towards the car but Connor grips my shoulders so tightly I can’t twist to leave. “Is he okay? Did something go wrong with the surgery?”
Why won’t he let me go? “No he’s okay, he’s just in a lot of pain now. Con I’ve got to go.”
He doesn’t release his hold and it’s starting to piss me off. His face isn’t one of care anymore, he actually looks really pissed.
“Brie he doesn’t need you right now. He has Josh and his family. You have to stay and come back in there with me, if not... I’m going to have to fail you. You need to put your education first, you shouldn’t have all these... distractions.”
Distractions? “The people in my life that need me are not a distraction Connor, they’re the reason I’m trying to better myself. What’s the matter with you?”
His eyes flash with anger. “Is that all he is? Just another random person in your life?”
Oh he has got to be fucking kidding me.
I pull my bag into both hands and shove it into his chest, forcing him to let go of the grip he had on me, my shoulder now throbbing under the pressure he was putting on it. He stumbles back, slightly shocked at the force I used.
“That’s what this is about? You’re going to fail me for going to see another guy? Do you want to know if I’m fucking him? Because you only needed to ask Con, I’ve never fucking lied to you and I wouldn’t start now.”
He clenches his jaw as he looks at me, his usual cool and calm collected composure completely lost.
“I know you’re fucking him Brie, I’m not fucking stupid. I saw the way he was looking at you when I was at the hospital and it was clear you spent the night there. Look, I know shit hasn’t been great with us lately but I actually thought we were getting somewhere before all this, I just want to get back to that.”
Threatening my education to get your own way isn’t the way to my heart babe.
“Brie just come back in, we’ll finish the test and go for milkshakes like always okay? You can see him tomorrow or something?”
He’s really not understanding this is he. “Con I’m going. If you think I’d walk back in there right now you don’t understand who I am at all. Even if Steve was still only Josh’s big brother to me, even if he was just some guy I met on the bus yesterday, I’d still fucking go because he wants me there. I appreciate you looking out for me, but it seems pretty clear you wouldn’t be so concerned about my ‘distractions’ if the thing I was being distracted about right now was your dick.”
“Brie, that’s not fair...”
“No green eyes, you standing here right now putting this shit on me isn’t fair. You walked out of the park that day and told me you needed time, which I gave you. We had a moment at Hope’s party yes but other than that there’s been nothing. You knew what this was, I told you to tell me if you wanted out and couldn’t cope but you just ignored me instead. I got it, I understood that I fucked up but I didn’t do it on purpose. You’re not in a position to tell me what I can and can’t do Connor, or who I can see. So fail me, pass me, I don’t give a shit.”
Pulling open the door of my car I get in and don’t even put my belt on before I pull out, I just need to get away from him right now.
If he’d come to me and said that he knew about Steve I would’ve talked to him about it, I wasn’t hiding anything, we just haven’t really spoken about us and I didn’t know what he did or didn’t want to know until he was ready.
I’ve never felt anything other than happiness when in Connors presence, he’s always seemed like the calm to my storm.
But right now, I’m fucking pissed.