My Twisted Lovers - Book Two of The Forbidden Lust

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Chapter 145

My body wants to break. It wants to crumble. I can’t let it.

Stepping back I walk into the bedroom quickly, grabbing my bag off the floor and throwing in my phone. I don’t bother trying to find anything else, I just have to get the fuck out of here.

I hear Steve tell Chrissy to go sit down and I know I don’t want to be here to hear this. I’m moving so fast trying to find my keys I don’t even realise he’s in the room until I walk straight into him.

Looking up into his eyes I can already see what he wants to say but I know I’m not strong enough to hear it right now.

“I’ve got to go. You two should talk.”

Steve steps towards me but I pull back, if he touches me right now I’ll collapse.

“Brie..”

I shake my head. “Don’t Steve. Please don’t. Unless the next words out of your mouth are ‘I’m never leaving you Brie’ then don’t fucking say them. You promised me... Steve, you fucking said you’d never leave me.... say your not, just say it... please...” My voice breaks, I’m trying to stay strong but I need him to say it.

He hesitates as he falls back against the wall behind him... and it’s all the answer I need.

I try to shove past him to get out before I collapse but he grasps my arms to force me to face him. I can’t even look at him, I see the tear run down his chest after falling from his jaw and I can’t bare to bring myself to gaze on his face.

“Brie, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. Please, just give me some time to get my head around this. Please.”

Yeah. Christopher said the same thing and look how that turned out.

I tear myself free of his grasp but he doesn’t fight me, he knows I shouldn’t be here as much as I do.

There’s no way I’m letting this bitch see me cry, walking through the living room I don’t even look towards the couch before I throw open the front door and make a run for it.

My car is so fucking far. I’m trying to keep it together but with every single step the weight of this begins to force me to the ground. I can’t take this shit!

I can see the yellow metal up ahead but it’s so blurred. I’m trying, I’m really fucking trying but I know I’m not going to make it.

My heart gives out before my legs but both send me crashing to the floor. The sobs begin and I don’t even try to stop them anymore.

He’s fucking broken me.

I’m trying to get in air, I just can’t. It’s too hard, it’s too hard to breathe when it feels like Steve is standing on my chest and I’m being split and shattered under his force.

This is why. This is why I never let myself feel. He was perfect, my perfect stranger. Yet here I am, discarded when he’s had his use for me.

He fucking promised...

He said he had me...

He swore he wouldn’t leave me if I just let him in... he lied...

She’s willing to offer him something I never could, something so precious people give up their whole lives for it.

She’s going to have his baby.

A baby I’d never be willing to give him.

My body wants to lay down on the concrete but I can’t let it go that far. Climbing up onto my knees first I force myself to breathe in deeply.

You are Brianna fucking Parker damn it! Get your shit together!

All the steps that once broke me now do the opposite. With each one I start putting the bricks back in the wall. I dry my tears, forcing those walls back up into their rightful place. Higher than ever before.

I was stupid to ever let a man make me believe I should take them down for him.

There was a part of me there for a minute which truly believed I could do it. That I could be happy. Now I have that part of me sealed back in it’s fucking cage where it always belonged.

Sliding into the seat of the bug I rap my walls in steel.

Never again Brie. You will never let this happen again. Feel nothing, it’s the only way you protect yourself. No-one else is going to protect you, it’s your job. Feel nothing.

Starting the car I glance in my mirror, taking the red lipstick from the glove compartment and forcing my shaking hand to submit to me as I coat my lips.

May tried to take this shade to school with her yesterday, she stole it from my room and I threw it in there to keep it away from her. I haven’t worn it in a long time. In fact there was only one time I ever wore this shade, a time when my walls were at their strongest and no man could get past them.

Glancing in the mirror I watch the mask go up as I know who I need to be right now.

“Hello Destiny.”

*********************

Pulling into the driveway I knew I was in shit, but I was numb. Feel nothing, always feel nothing. I took the fact I couldn’t hear any screaming as a good sign that maybe they hadn’t killed each other yet.

I checked myself in the mirror, making sure that mask was firmly in place before I had to face them all.

Time to fucking do this.

The lights were still off in the living room when I walked through the front door and nobody had bothered to open the bloody curtains.

I get ready to shout and see where the hell they are when I notice Granny fast asleep on the couch. She’s completely still and incredibly peaceful, I’m so grateful I don’t have to deal with her screaming fit right now.

Stepping past the couch I see she has every blanket we have down here on top of her, piled high like it’s still freezing out, the weather broke a few days ago but I guess she still feels it more than most at her age.

“She’s cold.”

I jump at the sound of a small voice, walking around the couch I see May sitting on the floor, her eyes firmly glued on Granny as she hugs her knees to her chest. She won’t even look at me, she’s pissed I didn’t come back last night but nothing in me feels guilt, the walls are too high up right now.

Staring at her I take in her dishevelled appearance and the bags under her eyes. She looks exhausted.

“Pudding, why are you in the clothes from yesterday?” I definitely dressed her in that to go to school yesterday morning, why would she put them back on?

“I’ve been calling you.” She’s the one that’s been calling me? She doesn’t even know how to use the phone properly. “I’ve been calling all night.”

My heart stops. “May? Why were you calling? I’m sorry I stayed out but-”

“She won’t wake up. She wouldn’t wake up to take me to bed so I stayed in my clothes. I keep trying. She still won’t wake up.”

No.

“She’s cold now. I keep putting on blankets but I can’t make her warm.”

Oh god. I almost slip on the water that coats the floor as I rush around the sofa and drop to my knees next to her.

“Granny?” I start shaking her shoulders but she’s... stiff. “GRANNY!”

No. Please fucking no.

My fingers shake as I attempt to place them to her pulse but they jump back when they graze the cold surface of her skin. Her once warning touch replaced with ice.

I don’t need to check. Her skin, the life is gone. She’s gone.

What do I do? Bile rises in my throat and I force myself to swallow it down as I turn away from her.

The tears fall down my cheeks as I slip backwards and land in that same puddle of water. Staring down at the floor and then back at May I realise it’s not water at all. Her trousers are drenched.

"May... how long have you been sitting there?"


She shakes, rocking back and forth in shock as she continues to look straight past me towards Granny. "I tried.. I just, I couldn't... I didn’t want to leave her in case she woke up. I kept ringing you, Granny only showed me how to ring you... Where were you Beebee?"


My god, she's been sitting here with her body for hours... alone.

"I... I was..."


"Wake her up Beebee. Please, I don't like this, I'm scared."

Oh my baby girl. I try to reach out to take her in my arms but she flinches and pulls away from me. "I can’t May, she's..." I can't even say the words.


May snaps her head towards me, venom dripping from her lips despite the fear on her face. "NO! YOU WAKE HER UP RIGHT NOW! RIGHT NOW!" She starts hitting my chest with her tiny fists, her face flowing with tears as she thrashes all her limbs trying to release her pain. “RIGHT NOW! WAKE HER UP!” I manage to get a hold of her to make her stop as she falls into my arms sobbing. “...Please Beebee... I’ll be good now... Please...” Her voice breaks as I watch her heart shatter. There’s nothing I can do, it’s too late.

The tears fall down my face as I look over at the woman who gave up her life to raise me. She was our superwoman, she saved us. We would be nothing without her...I wasn't here, I wasn't here with her when she needed me to repay that. I left them both.

Circling my arms around May I pull her against my chest as she continues to cry without any signs of giving up.

Reaching into my bag I take my phone with a shaking hand and dial, holding it to my ear as my own tears stop, drying in my eyes as I feel my body start to close.

I keep shutting it, every door and every window to my soul, until everything is sealed and all the pain stops completely.

No emotion in. No emotion out.

Finally, there’s just black.

“911, what’s your emergency?”

“I need an ambulance... My grandmother’s dead.”
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