My Twisted Lovers - Book Two of The Forbidden Lust

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Chapter 146

I can’t remember the last time I moved.

Jayce has threatened to kick down the door more times than I can count. Al always stops him but I’m not sure she even leaves this house anymore. I hear her downstairs sometimes, pottering in the kitchen trying to keep herself busy.

I smell the food she leaves outside my door, the food she knows she’ll be coming back in an hour to pick up still perfectly untouched.

Josh is outside there now. He used to plead for me to open it but now he just sits, sometimes he tells me what’s happening in the world beyond this room but I hardly listen to him.

I still can’t feel it. I can’t feel anything.

My body refuses to try anymore, at first I wanted to but now I don’t. I didn’t come out when Tara took May, I didn’t come out when the funeral director came, I didn’t come out when they said I could go see her to say goodbye.

I don’t want to say goodbye. I just want to stay in my bed.

“So then the guy bought the whole bloody company as payback. I’ve never seen anything like it! There’s a new guy just started though, I’m finally not the only gay in the office. His boyfriend gave me the death glare this morning when he dropped him off, if only he knew how far from my type his man is.... Brie I’ve got to get back for Mum, she’s moving into her new place tomorrow so me and Ste-”

He stops. He always stops when it comes to him.

Steve hasn’t come to try see me. He knows better.

Josh and Al don’t realise how loud they are when they try to have their little private chats in the kitchen, I can hear everything. I heard what Josh said.

The two of them turned up that day and saw the ambulance on the front lawn, they came rushing in and that’s the last thing I remember before I walked upstairs and closed the door on this room never to open it again. Al’s sobs filled the house when she saw Granny, she was a shaking mess on the floor when I passed May to Josh and left.

They both tried to make me come back down, Al got Tara and Cole over here, they’ve been dealing with all the legal side of things. Cole said he was there when I was ready but I don’t think he understands that I’ll never be ready. May cried, Tara kept doing everything she could to comfort her until finally she just took her from here. She kept screaming for me but I knew deep down I wasn’t what she needed. I was the one that left her to suffer this, I was the one she needed to be furthest from.

That was eight days ago now. The day after the dust settled I heard Josh and Al talking in attempted hushed whispers. Steve had told Josh what happened with Chrissy, he was furious with his brother from what I could tell. He told him he needed to figure out what he was going to do before Josh would let him anywhere near me again.

I’m pretty sure I’ve heard his bike driving past here though, slowing down and sometimes even topping outside the house in the middle of the night, but he never tries to come in.

“Has she said anything?” Jayce isn’t angry anymore, his voice is just sad as he talks to Josh on the other side of the wood.

“No. You okay to take over? I’ve got to get back for Mum.”

I hear them swapping places, the creak of the chair Al had put outside the door almost giving way under his weight. I’m pretty sure she was sleeping in every night too.

“Brie, I’m not going far, I love you... Call me if she comes out.”

Al’s crying again, I can hear her sobs from the bottom of the staircase as Josh’s footsteps grow quieter and the front door opens.

“May went back to school today Brie. You would’ve been so proud of her, she didn’t even hold my hand walking in. Everything’s set for Thursday now, Al said she can get you a dress if you don’t have anything? Just let me know if there’s anything specific you want for the service, the pastor has picked the hymns Granny sang the loudest on Sundays but if you want something else he said you can change it.”

My tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth it’s so dry. I’m so dehydrated I’m not sure I could cry even if I wanted to right now. The last time I tried to drink I just threw it back up anyway so what’s the point.

My head spins and my vision goes cloudy as I try to turn over, my exhausted body screaming at me not to exert so much energy with such a frivolous task. The sheets stick to my sweaty chest as I attempt to turn to my back, the room thick with a layer of self loathing and pain, I haven’t opened the windows since I got in here, I can’t remember what fresh air tastes like.

Looking down at the black t-shirt and shorts that cover my body I can feel the emotions trying to wriggle themselves free of the cage I have them trapped in. I’m still in his clothes, no part of me can bare to take them off.

I deserve this. I was born wrong, everyone knows it. I was born dirty and that type of stench you can never wash yourself free of.

There’s a reason people are drawn to me, the same reason people see a sign saying ‘do not hit the red button’ and immediately slam their hand down on it. They want to live dangerously, lambs that want a night dancing with a wolf.

Until I tear their throats out.

I’m dripping in blood. In a way, everything comes back to me. Remove me from the situation and so much pain goes away. Harley came to the dance that night because I convinced Josh to come out for him, Josh was happy to go with Brittany until I butted in. Granny was exhausted, a life of raising a useless piece of shit granddaughter took its toll until her body couldn’t stand the weight of carrying me on her shoulders anymore.

Helena ended up on that roof because of me. All I had to do was get her the message about the baby shower, a single solitary task that I was too incompetent to complete. Even Chad, sweet ridiculous Chad, he ran into that school and threw himself in front of a bullet, why? Because I told him not to let Aleah die. He died because I told him too.

I ruin everything I touch, a force of darkness moving through the world with a smile that makes people fall victim to my wicked agenda.

My tongue sticks to my lips. Pulling it free I feel the chapped skin below it split and the trickle of blood seep its way into my mouth. It begins to quench my thirst and I suck in my lower lip trying to soak in more of my own flowing life.

Then the copper flavour hits my tongue and I gag. Oh fuck, I’m gonna be sick.

My arms grip hold of the bedside cabinet as I attempt to pull myself up, but I’m so unstable I slide straight off the edge. I have no energy to use my reflexes, the table tumbles over to the floor and my body crashes from the bed with it.

Everything hits the solid wood ground with a thump, pain ricocheting around my body at the feel of my skin covered bones bruising under the weight of the impact.

“Brie? BRIE?!”

Jayce’s panicked voice screams through the door before I hear Aleah attempting to rush up the stairs.

“Lee, she fucking needs us. Fuck this.”

There’s a loud bang as Jayce’s foot meets my door and it flings open, hitting the wall next to it and crumbling the plaster. The lock that was attached to the back goes flying across the room and hits the window with an audible crack.

“Brie?”

I can’t speak. I haven’t used my voice in days and my tongue just keeps sticking to my plaque covered teeth even as I try to wince in pain. I lay on the floor next to the bed as they run into the room.

“Oh fuck, Lee!”

Jayce rushes to my side, his warm hands attempting to hold my arms but as he moves them my muscles shriek at the sharp movement. Stop Jayce... just leave me here, please.

“Fuck Lee, look at the state of her. There’s nothing fucking to her! We have to take her to the hospital.”

My eyes fly open and I realise now how close he is, his crystal blue eyes looking down at me as he holds my head up in a way my neck refuses too.

I can’t go there. Not there. No more hospitals.

Shaking my head in his grip I beg him not to make me go with my eyes. I try to reach out for him to reassure him I’m okay but I can’t lift my arms.

“She doesn’t want to Jayce, we can’t force her... She just needs to eat something, stay with her. I’ll put the bath on and reheat her some food.”

Al walks away and I can hazily make out the tears on her face as she leaves. Jayce moves one hand under my neck and the other under my knees as he attempts to lift me back onto the bed.

A noise I don’t recognises leaves my lips, a moan of agony from deep within my throat which makes him freeze. Instead he falls back but continues to hold me in his lap.

“Damn it Brie, this isn’t what she would’ve wanted.” He holds my head to his chest, his heartbeat spiking as he attempts to run his fingers through my greasy locks but can’t move with all the knots. The water rushes behind us as we continue to sit there, until Aleah comes back into my sight.

“It’s just toast. I made soup earlier but I think it might be a bit much for you. Let’s see if you can keep this down first then I’ll get you that after.”

She tears off a tiny piece between her fingers but hesitates as she brings it to my lips, spotting how torn up they are.

“Fuck, she hasn’t been drinking either. Just get her in the bath, I’ll need to get some water in her before she can eat. I won’t be able to hold her up, you’ll have to stay.”

Jayce nods at her, turning my head so I’m looking up at him with glassy eyes. “I’m not gonna look Brie but we have to take your clothes off now, is that okay?”

If I was in a better frame of mind I might have laughed at that statement. Romeo is one of the only men alive I trust completely, I know he would never do anything to hurt me.

Looking down at my clothes I freeze, I don’t want to take them off, they’re all I have left...

Twisting my hand into the fabric I grasp it for dear life, holding it to me before they can take it away. Panic runs through me as my body begins to shake. I really don’t want them to take him away from me...

Al’s hand reaches up to hold my face, her thumb gently stroking my cheekbone.

“Sweetheart, you have to take them off. I’ll wash them and get them straight back to you, I promise.” The tears fall from her eyes as she caresses my gaunt face and she looks so weak it’s like I’m meeting her on that playground all over again. God, we were so young.

“Maybe she’s not okay with me seeing her.. you know..”

Al shakes her head at her man. “It’s not that babe, look at who’s clothes she’s in.”

Jayce peers over the top of my head and down at my shirt, his grip on me getting tighter as he slides one hand up to press my ear against his chest and cover my other with his hand in the hopes I can’t hear him, but I still do.

“How could he do this to her...?”

I wish I could answer that Romeo, I wish anyone could explain it to me.

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