My Twisted Lovers - Book Two of The Forbidden Lust

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Chapter 151

Al cleaned me up in the car after I stopped crying enough to let Steve get me back to her.

I stopped at the wake for an hour to thank everyone for coming just like Tara said I should, but as the drinks kept going down my throat, the pain of today only seemed to rise closer to the surface.

Jayce stopped me after my sixth shot of whisky with the Poison boys and forced me into the car. Aleah was fast asleep before we even left the car park so Steve offered to stay with me until Josh got back from seeing his mum. Jayce wasn’t massively impressed with the situation, in fact he was downright vicious to Steve all day, I told him I’d be fine but he still insisted I went immediately to bed while Steve barely stepped inside. He was taking this brother thing a bit fucking seriously.

Dropping us outside the house I wasn’t even sure I wanted Steve in there but Jayce made pretty clear I wasn’t to be left alone and it was better than being forced to the Manor right now.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me but ever since the funeral I can’t stop washing my hands, like there’s dirt on me I can’t see and needed to get off. My skin is raw and peeling from how much I’ve done it tonight.

Steve took my keys and let me in. Although he’d stayed with me since non-stop since the moment at the graveside, he’d been keeping his distance. That distance only grew more as we stepped inside the house and he saw the state on the place.

An empty bottle of gin went flying across the room when he tripped over it trying to get to the sofa. I wanted to laugh but I couldn’t seem to find a way to do something so happy anymore.

We hadn’t talked at all and this shit was awkward. I really wasn’t sure what I wanted to achieve with him right now but I know I needed a drink to do it.

Going to the kitchen I started searching the cupboards for anything I had left. I remember little from last night but by the looks of things it was one to forget.

“Do you want to go to sleep? Or I could put a movie on or something until Josh gets here? He’s left so he shouldn’t be too long.” Steve stood in the doorway like he had no clue what he should be doing after Jayce’s not so subtle threats.

“You can sit down Steve.” Looking in the fridge I notice a lone bottle of beer. “Do you want this?” He looks at the bottle in my hand before shaking his head and clearing a space amongst the blankets to sit down.

His fingers find something pink tucked down the side of the seat and he pulls it out to reveal one of my thongs.

He doesn’t know what to do and I watch with amusement as I see him seriously consider shoving it in his pocket just to save himself from the embarrassment of having to ask me what to do with it. Instead he just shoves it back where he found it and turns on the TV.

I open the bottle of beer and move to sit next to him on the couch, taking a swig only to gag when I realise it’s one of Jayce’s disgusting non-alcoholic ones. Why would he bring this shit into my home? Setting it back on the table I glance around the floor for something better just as Steve puts a movie on.

“Die hard three? Really?”

He chuckles. “I think we need to complete the set, don’t you?”

Actually, I don’t remember shit from the second one if I’m honest, considering your fingers were so deep in my pussy at the time, so I might be completely lost.

There’s seriously too much tension here right now. We don’t know how to be with each other because we haven’t had that conversation about what the fuck is happening here.

My head starts to feel cloudy as I lean down to reach under the coffee table for another bottle and I begin to sway with all the blood rushing to my head.

“Fuck. Brie!” He catches me just as I was about to slip off the edge and pulls me back so I’m laying against him. I can feel myself slipping again so move until I’m straddling his lap and lent completely against his chest. I can feel him breathing deeply but it shakes on each inhale, his hands moving from his side and hovering over my back before he returns them, he doesn’t know if he should touch me. “Brie, you need sleep. Let’s get you to bed, okay?”

Bed. Bed is exactly what I fucking need, but not for sleep.

Picking my head up I realise I’m looking directly at him now, his concerned eyes staring into my glassy ones before scanning over my face. They glance down at my neck and along my obvious collarbones.

His finger gently stroke along them and I shiver. “Damn it Brie... What did you do to yourself...?”

Nothing you can’t fix Stranger.

I wait for his eyes to meet mine again and I know what I want from him now. I’ve felt out of control since the funeral, since I saw that monster. I need this. This is my fucking body, I get to decide what happens with it now. Me. No-one else.

Leaning forward I take hold of Steve’s jaw and force him to face me.


I just need this...

My lips become drawn to his, my body screaming at me that this is what I need to take back control. They touch his in a gentle kiss, a tiny delicate meeting of my skin on his and I feel instantly whole again.

When he doesn’t resist, I push forward deepening the kiss, moving my lips against his as I search out a way for him to fulfil my needs quickly.

He starts to kiss me back instinctually, his hands don’t meet my body but he can’t stop his lips reaction to me, we could never control the way we make each other feel.

I slide my hand through the buttons of his shirt, tickling his chest as my other one starts to pull off his suit jacket. I’d never seen Steve in a suit before, he didn’t even seem like the type of guy that would own one, but today he’s in every way a true fuckable gentleman.

He lets his jacket fall off his arms and I reach further into his shirt, trailing over his skin until I find his nipple.

The moment my nails graze over it an alarm seems to go off in his head and he pulls back from the kiss, prying my hand from inside his shirt.


He shakes his head. “Fuck.” I didn’t even understand what was happening until he’s dumping me on the other side of the couch before leaping to his feet and walking away from me. He runs his hands through his hair as he begins pacing the floor. “Fuck Brie, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

Yes you should’ve, you should still be doing it.

I try to get to my feet but the alcohol hits me like a tidal wave that knocks me back down. I take a second to compose myself before stepping behind the couch so I can use it for support.

“Steve come here, please.”

He pauses, looking me up and down like all he wants to do is listen to me but can’t.

“Brie, you should go to bed. It’s been a rough day.”

Yeah, I know it fucking has, I was there.

"Steve, please, I just want to feel something, something better than the pain... Come here..."

I step forward until I can touch him again, trying again to pull off his shirt but this time he stops me instantly, pushing me back from him. "Brie, please stop. You're so fucking emotional right now. You don't know what you're doing. I won’t take advantage of you when you’re drunk, hurt and fucking vulnerable."

I don't want to stop, I’m not vulnerable, I’ll never let myself be vulnerable again. "No. Steve I know what I need right now... Why are you stopping me?” A sudden thought hits me that I’ve been trying to avoid since the moment I saw him. “Is it because of her?”

He steps further back, as if suddenly remembering her existence after the Brie fog has lifted. "What? Of course not, it’s got fuck all to do with her right now. Brie, this is not the day for this conversation.”

Maybe not but I can’t keep not knowing what’s happening, it’s killing me. “Are you two getting back together?”

He slumps back against the front door, his hands rubbing across his face and I can actually see how tired he looks now. “I don’t fucking know Brie, I can’t even fucking think properly. All I do is stay up every fucking night trying to figure it out, knowing whatever I do I’ll be losing something I don’t want to fucking lose.”

“Steve, people raise kids all the fucking time without being together! This is bullshit!”

He slams his head back against the door so hard my whole body jumps, before he steps forward. “Don’t you think I know that! She won’t have it that way! She said she wants her kid raised as part of a family and if I’m not willing to be that for them then she wants to move in with her sister on the other side of the fucking country! I don’t get a fucking choice in that! To be with you I’d have to give up being able to raise him!”

She can’t do that. “So your plan is to be with a woman you don’t fucking love and never will, just to raise the kid together? Ask Denise how well that kind of shit works out Steve!”

He balls his fist up, but I can see it’s more out of frustration than actual anger.

“I don’t know what to do Brie. If I let her take him, see him a few times a year if I’m lucky, then what? How am I any different than my father picking Denise over my mother? Plus, you wouldn’t even want to be in that kid’s life Brie...”

Don’t even fucking go there. “Steve, I fucking dated someone with a child. I don’t want to be a mum but that wouldn’t stop you being a dad... I’d adore that fucking kid because it’s half you!... None of this fucking explains why you just threw me away rather than fucking kiss me anyway!”

His jaw clenches. “Did you think I wanted to stop you? All I’ve wanted to do is fucking kiss you since the second your lips last left mine! I just can’t do this shit right now, it’s not fair to either of us. Look, Josh will be here soon and you’re clearly too fucking wound up for me to be here at the moment. I’ve got to get back to the house before Chris-”

He stops himself but it’s too fucking late. “She’s in your house! Why the fuck is she in your house?! Is she in your fucking bed too?!”

I can’t control my temper and it’s burning through the alcohol too quickly for my liking, my buzz almost completely gone.

Steve’s whole body slumps with defeat. “She’s just staying with me until her new place is sorted. It’s nothing Brie, I’m not going near her, I swear. I took her back to her old place after she told me about the baby and it was barely standing, I wouldn’t have left a fucking dog there never mind the mother of my baby. I found her somewhere that will be ready in a few weeks and she’ll stay there until we decide on a better plan.”

A better plan? “You mean when you two shack up and start playing happy fucking families.”

He lets out a deep breath. “I don’t know what will happen yet Brie. I’m still trying to figure it out. It doesn’t matter right now, today of all days, You just need to rest.”

Absolutely fucking not. "No, I need to get fucked! Now either you're going to do it, you’re going to come over here right now and prove you still fucking want me, or I'll find someone else who will!"

His hands spring out to grip my shoulders. "You don't fucking mean that."

Oh yeah? "Why not? It's not like I'm your fucking girlfriend is it? I can fuck whoever I want, that’s the deal right? You can’t have it both ways Steve."

His hands grow firm against my skin. "Don't say shit like that Brie. You have no fucking idea what’s going on with me. Stop this, just let me be here for you this way, I’ll put the movie back on and I’ll hold you until you fall asleep or let you use me as a punching bag if that’s what you want. I just can’t do that."

He’s not understanding. "This is what I want Steve, this is what I fucking need! If you want to be here for me then your choice is to either fuck me, or get the fuck out of my house so someone else can."

There's a hesitation, he's considering the best option here but I just need him to take one.

Just pick me Steve, just prove this isn't over and fucking pick me.

He steps away, letting my arms fall. "I can't do that right now Brie."

My heart shatters. There's only one reason he won't be with me, and we both know it’s her.

"Then get out."



He jumps at my tone, taking a step back with hurt plastered across his face. I make sure to keep myself tall, I want him to know I'm fucking serious.

"Okay Brie.. okay." There's so much pain running off him as he walks and opens the front door, pausing just as he's about to step through but not looking back. "Don't do anything you'll regret later Brie... please."

That's my fucking decision to make.

As soon as he slams the door I collapse to the floor, my body so fucking heavy and my heart in pieces. Of course he didn’t pick you Brie, why the fuck would he? You’re so much more than damaged, you’re completely fucked. No wonder he wouldn’t want you near his kid, look at the fucking state on you... I rummage around the floor until I find the half empty bottle of vodka I started last night when the gin ran out, and take down as much as I can physically consume in one mouthful.

It burn my throat like battery acid and I splutter before forcing more down until this annoying pain in my chest ceases.

Fucking fine, if that's the way he wants it. I know someone who will always fuck me. Will always fucking want me.

Grabbing my phone I rest the bottle between my legs as I start typing and retyping the message every time I make a mistake until it's sent.

'I want you. Tonight. All night. Find us somewhere away from it all.'

Forcing my way to my feet, I pull this ridiculous dress over my head and glance at my naked body in the hallway mirror. I've lost so much fucking weight, I can see every bone in my spine when I turn around and my once voluptuous curves barely bend at all anymore.

I expect it to take a while but before I can even get on my shorts my phone pings.

'Skyline Hotel. Twenty minutes. Room 206.'

My heart pounds at the familiarity of the place he’s picked in that message, memories rushing back.

I slip a black crop top on to match my black high waisted shorts and dig around in my closet until I find my favourite boots from high school. It's been too long my old friends.

Stumbling down the stairs and outside, I can't even figure out how to lock the front door so just leave it. Anyone who wants to rob me is welcome to the tattered old furniture and collection of outdated issues of Elle. Have fucking at it.

I try not to total another bug as I race down the highway to the edge of town, I don't need to look up directions, I could never forget this place. Sending a half decent attempt at a text to Josh to tell him I’m going to bed and not to bother coming over, as I whip in and out of traffic.

Pulling up to the valet I throw him my keys whilst picking up the bottle of vodka I almost emptied on the way here. He looks down at my outfit and his innocent little eyes grow wide.

"See something you like?" Kid can't be much older than nineteen, his sweaty palms let my keys fall straight to the floor and I chuckle as I step towards him.

He looks down at my body from his view, watching me bend as seductively as I can in front of him and grasping the keys whilst managing not to fall over. Passing them back to him I make sure to stroke his wrist and see the pleasure shoot through him. He’s probably never had a girl that looks like me pay any attention to him before and he doesn’t know what the fuck to do.

"I tell you what handsome. How about if when I get back out here I'm not completely satisfied, I come find you."

He gulps, his eyes falling to my jiggling breasts before he nods. I reach up and tap him on the head like a sweet little puppy. "Good boy."

Walking into the reception area I take a large swig from the bottle as my heels hit the marble floor on the way to the elevator. A number of people stop to stare at me and I swear I even heard one bitch gasp. It only makes me laugh harder as lift the bottle in a cheers to the entire room.

Slamming the button I hear the elevator start to move and the slightest hint of nerves flutter through my stomach. Gonna need to drink those little fuckers away.

"Miss? Excuse me, miss? Can I help you with something?"

Turning I see a pig nosed receptionist staring back at me completely bewildered.

I smirk, taking another swig from the large glass bottle. "I'm good, he's expecting me."

The doors open and I jump inside before the bitch can stop me, hitting the button I need and shoving my middle finger up at her as it closes.

The sudden silence is making me uneasy so I do the best thing I can right now, continue to drink. I always liked elevators, they’re like tiny little rooms you can escape into and breathe for a few minutes before you’re released into the world again.

When the doors open I'm a little more hazy than I was before but I can't show him that. I dump the bottle on the floor of the lift before the doors shut and practise my best strut on the way to the room.

I've got this.

Knocking twice I hear him moving behind the grain until the door pulls open and he's standing there before me like no time has past since the last moment we saw each other.

He doesn't even try to hide the fact his eyes are running over me, just like I don't try to with him.

Fuck, he's delicious.

That smirk I've missed so fucking much strides across his face and he reaches out to grasp my hips, pulling me into him sharply until my skin is flush against his.

He glances down at my lips as they sit right in front of his face.

"I have missed you amore."

Thank fuck.

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