My Twisted Lovers - Book Two of The Forbidden Lust

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Chapter 154

Getting back to the house, Tara and Cole are already sitting in the car outside with May in the back. Fuck, I forgot they were going to bring her home today. She hasn’t been back here since everything happened but May can’t just fucking stay there.

Stopping in the drive I try to pull my shit together, they can’t know how fucked up I am right now. I attempt to pull my curls back into a bobble but so many of them spring free I just look worse so I leave it.

Okay, game face. Walking straight up to the front door I try to put my key in the lock, only to realise the door is still ajar. Fuck. I shouldn’t have driven like that, I couldn’t even lock the fucking door. Shit, I could’ve fucking killed someone...

“Everything okay sweetheart?”

Tara’s voice really is too fucking sweet. She sounds like a fucking Barbie doll come to life or something.

“Yeah.”

Shoving open the door I’m hit immediately with the stench of old beer and vodka that’s now soaked into the rug, it smells worse than my hair right now. This place is a fucking mess but I don’t care, who the hell do I have to impress anymore? I’m done with the keeping up appearances bullshit.

I turn back to Tara and see Cole now standing with his arm around May’s shoulders. She won’t look at me, her eyes fixed to the sofa behind me before turning away and burying into Cole’s side. “Come on May. Say goodbye and thanks for having you.” I really don’t want Cole seeing the house like this, he might fucking evict me, so I close the door slightly.

May looks up at Cole and he gives her a small nod before Tara moves to stand in front of me.

“Brie, actually, we need to talk to you sweetheart, can we just all go sit down and get some coffee?”

For fucks sake. My head is fucking killing me, my hair is still drenched in tequila and I just want to sleep on something that isn’t a pissing cliff. I’m really not in the mood for one of Tara’s pep talks right now.

“Can it wait? Come on May.”

She moves her arms around Cole’s hips and hangs on for dear life. Why the fuck is she being like this? Shit was fine yesterday, is she still pissed at me?

“May!”

I’ve got no time for her crap right now.

“Brie, I’d really like to come in so we can discuss-”

“I’d really like it if you shut the fuck up Tara. Look, my head is killing and I just want to sleep. Now give me my fucking sister and leave it, okay? I’ll talk to you tomorrow or something.”

May flinches at my tone and I see the tears in her eyes but she’s going to have to deal with it because we can’t all keep babying her forever. She wasn’t the only one who lost her.

Cole picks May up into his arms.

“Brianna. We need to talk. Now.” He doesn’t even wait for a response before attempting to barge past me into the house. I block the door, I get he owns the place but I pay the fucking rent, he can’t just walk in there like that.

“Like fuck Cole! I appreciate what you guys have done for May and that, but you can’t just force your way into people’s houses or lives! Back the fuck off.”

Tara starts stroking May’s hair like I’m about to fucking stab her or something. The woman needs to get a grip.

“Brie.” Cole looks at me the same way he did when I was a shitty little kid, like when me and Al would break something or get nail varnish on the couch. “We have to talk about this. It’s important.”

Okay, starting to have enough of this condescending crap now.

“I’m not eleven anymore Cole. I’m old enough to fuck you if I wanted to. Stop looking at me like I’m some fucking child you’re pretending to care about. I’m not Al, I don’t need to put up with your shit, either of you for that matter!”

I glance back at Tara but her face looks more in pain than angry. Leaning over I attempt to pull May from her vice like grip around Cole’s neck but she won’t let go.

“May! What the hell is your problem? Let go!”

She whips her head from its place in Cole's neck and I see now that she’s been crying, shit. She takes a deep breath, latching onto Cole to make sure she doesn’t lose her hold before looking me directly in the eye to talk.

“I don’t want to live with you anymore Beebee.”

What the fuck? Stumbling back, Tara has to catch me before I crash straight into the front door.

I steady myself on my feet. “What the hell do you mean May? This is your fucking home. Of course you’re going to live with me.”

She shakes her head, Cole stroking her back to soothe her as she continues. “I-I don’t want to live where I was alone B-Beebee. I don’t want to be a-alone. I want to be in a f-family.”

My heart stops beating, my veins dry up and my body becomes cold at those words.

“But I am your family...”

She begins to cry again and Cole turns her away from me as he tries to calm her down, did they do something to make her say that? Tara steps before me and attempts to stroke my cheek but I pull back, flinching at her touch.

“What the fuck did you say to her? Why is she saying all this shit? You can’t fucking have her, you’re not even her real family!”

A tear runs straight from Tara’s eye down her cheek but I don’t give a flying fuck.
“Brie, we love her. We didn’t say anything, she came to us and asked to stay. I don’t think you truly appreciate how hurt she is, how frightened she is after everything she’s been through.”

I can feel my anger rising to the surface but I don’t try to hold it back. How could she do this?

“You have no rights to take her, I’m her guardian. If you try to take her I’ll have you thrown in fucking jail with the last cunt that tried to take my sister.”

Tara freezes, her heart clearly pounding as she let more tears fall.

“Brianna! Enough! Can’t you see what you’re doing to her? This isn’t about you!” Cole’s never spoken to me like that before, there’s an uneasiness in my stomach when I see the disappointment in his eyes as he looks at me. Looking over at May I see now the tears are flooding down her face, her grip on Cole solid. I can see it now... she’s afraid of me.

Tara moves forward and tries to speak calmly. “I’m sorry Brianna, I don’t think she means she wants to be with us forever. She just.. she cried all night, she said she doesn’t want to be here. I explained to her you guys could move house but she said it isn’t that... Being alone with Granny for all those hours, scared and alone, it’s changed her. She won’t even sleep in her bed at our house, she spends every night in Milos room or in the pool-house with Jayce. She’s so scared Brie. I think she just needs a break.”

So, she’s leaving me to.

“Fine. Wait here.” They want her, they can fucking have her.

Stepping into the house I can’t feel my feet hit the floor as I walk up the stairs, I can’t feel anything, everything returning to its numb state. My body reacts on instinct, walking into the room I’ve been too afraid to open the door too and taking the floral fabric suitcase off the top of Granny’s wardrobe before dragging it into May’s room.

Opening each drawer in turn I empty the contents into the case, filling it completely before going and getting the next. I don’t take a second to look at anything, I don’t want to hold her little t-shirt between my fingers or enjoy her drawings. No, none of that. She doesn’t want to be my sister anymore, so why should I give a fuck.

I took me fourteen minutes, two cases and two black bags to erase any notion of my sister from that room. Now it’s like she was never there at all.

Taking them one by one I leave them by the front door, only opening it finally to push them outside onto the front yard.

“Brie, you didn’t need to do th-”

As the last case exits the door I attempt to push it closed once more, on her, them and this whole fucking thing.

“Beebee!” May’s shaking, tear stricken voice comes through, making me pause. “I still love you Beebee, I’m still your sister.”

I want to tell her its okay, I want to tell her I understand why she needs this and that she has my support.

But I can’t, I can’t say anything.

Instead I just close the door, blocking out the sounds of her sobs as I draw all the curtains and begin my final ascent of the stairs today in total darkness.

With every step the pain I refuse to feel begins to manifest itself as rage instead.

My body screams at me to let it out, release every bit of anger I have.

Opening the door to my room, the curtains are already closed, a sliver of light glaring in through the middle and blinding me as it bounces off the cylindrical glass that sits on my desk.

My body reacts without my permission, racing across the room faster than I can process and picking up the vase, before hurling it across the room and watching as it shatters to pieces on the wall opposite me.

Fuck...What the hell did I do?

The regret is instant, I broke it, I broke the last fucking piece of him I had. Falling to my knees I crawl across the floor while the sobs begin to wrack my body with guilt. No... why... what the fuck is wrong with me?

The black rose sits amongst the broken glass and my heart breaks at the sight of its broken leaves. Reaching out to take it, l brush off the shards glass and expect to feel the soft petals of a flower. But I don’t, instead the material is rough. I look more closely at the fabric before me and realise it was never a real rose at all, it was just sculpted by his hand to look like one.

Running my fingers over the edges I can see now that it’s leather, why would he make it out of... Glancing down into the bud I see a familiar pattern etched into the weave and I know why.

It’s made from his jacket, the one he wrapped around me to protect me the night of the crash... He always said that coat was a part of his soul... that’s why he gave it to me.

Dropping the rose to the floor again my body begins to rock back and forth, my head being scrammed and scratched at by my nails as I dig them into my scalp. I don’t want to feel this... I don’t want to feel this! Get the fuck out of my head!

“Arghhhh!” I deep primal scream radiates throughout the room and I can’t take this anymore as I begin to scream through my tears.

I fucked it up. I fucked everything up! Steve, Antonio, Al, May, Granny. I’m just a walking pit of fucking destruction!

They all need to stay away from me. They’re all better off without me in their lives. Push, keep pushing until they don’t come back... it’s the only way to protect them all from my darkness.

Pushing myself up off the ground my palms are cut by the sharp edges that surround me but I just keep going, crawling onto my bed as I strip myself of my clothes and pull on my t-shirt... his t-shirt.

Sinking myself into the pillow I welcome the exhaustion, grabbing the water bottle of vodka from the floor and taking in all I can until the tears continue to fall but I don’t feel them anymore.

The picture of me, Al and May I’ve been keeping on my bedside table for six years stares back at me with mockery, so I hit it down against the wood until the only eyes in the room are my own.

My mind fogs, my heart splinters and finally, I give up.

I can’t do it anymore, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry... I’m just not strong enough anymore...
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