My Twisted Lovers - Book Two of The Forbidden Lust

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Chapter 186

I never thought there was such a thing as too much dancing, but even I’m not sure I can do it anymore.

There’s been drinks, laughs, games. Steve slotting back into the group like he never left and blessing us all with so many stories about Elmo I could hardly breathe through my hysterics by the end. Josh – Elmo, I swear I may never call him anything else.

Everyone is beyond exhausted, Helena is passed out on my shoulder and I’m watching Jayce attempt to not drink while explaining to his twenty two year old team mate why it was probably not the best idea for him to stick his tongue down Denise’s throat, no matter how hot he thinks she is. I mean, I can’t blame the guy for falling for Denise’s charms, the woman’s a damn catch, but he’s lucky neither Steve nor Josh ripped his dick off when they just started necking like teenagers on the dance floor.

It seems to be a night for it, I don’t know when Hannah and Lisa last came up for air.

Josh just put his rather intoxicated mother in his room and is now getting ready to carry poor Liam up, him and Heather lasted longer than most of the grown ups on that floor tonight. She pretty much nailed mine and Al’s Spice Girls routine too, I’ll have another little dancer on my hands in no time.

Now as she rests peacefully on her Daddy’s lap, her eyes closed and breathing in the same pattern as the rib cage she’s leaning on. I’m reminded how much time has really passed, seeing her take up most of his body now.

“I can’t believe how much she’s grown, she was this tiny little thing sleeping on your chest the last time I saw her.” Steve states, his eyes glued to Heather as Aleah kisses her head.

I take a sip of my water and smile at the precious little thing. “She still does that.”

Steve smirks. “She’s lucky.”

I smack him on the arm and he reacts like I just shoved a knife in him or something, although apparently Denise got him good earlier as well. We both look around at all the couples, everyone sitting with their other half and looking at them with nothing but love. Except for Josh, but the cuddles he’s getting from Liam seem to be making him happy enough.

“Okay ladies and gentlemen, grab your partner, it’s time for the last dance.”

Our hazy eyed group all trickle off one by one to the dance floor at the command of the DJ, even Helena and Aniston forcing their bumps to cooperate so they can spend a final time in the arms of their soulmates. It’s been a really magical night.

Me and Steve have been keeping our distance with everyone watching us like free porn, but now the table has cleared I sense the trepidation in him.

Okay, my turn.

“Want to dance?”

He smiles, finding my hand on my lap and lacing our fingers together once more.

“With you? Always.”

We walk to the dance floor slowly as the song starts, finding an empty spot in the middle before joining together again. This time he doesn’t hesitate, pulling me in as close as I can possibly be before allowing us to sink into the rhythm. My heart is pounding against him, but I don’t let the nerves control me.

The DJ got mine and Al’s message that unless it was played in an 80s movie or 90s disco, we don’t want it. I haven’t heard a song I didn’t love all night and this is no exception. It might be over used, over played and under appreciated, but it’s a classic for a reason.

Whitney’s undeniable range fills my ears and my soul, the memory of watching The Bodyguard with Steve that night he held me at the hospital reminding me of why I fell for this man in the first place.

‘If I, should stay, I would only be in your way.’

That’s what I thought... I thought I needed him to leave and I wasn’t wrong.. but now I never want him to leave again. I just don’t know what I have to offer him, I’m whole but the breaks I had are still there. Does he still want this?

‘Please don’t cry: We both know I’m not what you, you need.’

But I could be, I know that now. I am what both of us need, I just need him to want it too. I was so broken for so long I couldn’t imagine a world where anyone would want me for forever. Now I do.

Antonio showed me there was someone in the world willing to kill for me, Connor showed there was someone willing to lose everything for me... But Steve proved there was someone willing to do whatever it took, sacrifice anything, to see me become the person I was meant to be.

I’m that person now.

Laying my head against his chest, I try to keep in my tears until I’m back in the safety of my room. I can’t cry in front of him, he hasn’t even told me how he feels, this could all be in my head.

Fuck.

“Brie... Can we talk?”

No. If I do that right now, I’ll break. I was doing so well, I thought I had all this shit under control but the moment I saw him it all just came flooding back to the surface.

Josh walks over to us, Liam now fast asleep in his arms.

“Hey bro, Lisa isn’t going to be using her room so Jayce got the key for you. It’ll be better than the pull out in mine. You good with that?”

I can’t help but laugh, dirty little stop-out won’t need her room.

Steve nods, trying to return his attention back to me but I become distracted as May almost collapses at my feet.

“Beebee, can I stay with Milo? Heather is staying in Tara and Coles room but his is connected.”

She’s so tired, she might be nearing her teenage years now but she’s still my little girl. “Of course babe, do you want me to tuck you in?” She nods, extending her arms up to me just like she did when she was Heather’s age before I wrap her around me. She’s so much heavier, but I won’t drop her, I don’t know how many more of these moments we’ll have.

Steve gives me a final look before I make to follow Milo up the stairs to his room. I don’t stop, I know we need to talk but... I’ll admit it, I’m just too fucking scared. I’m not ready to hear he’s over me... I’m not sure I’m ready to hear he’s not either.

May was already asleep by the time I got to the room, Milo ran over to mine and got her case before I tried to get her semi-conscious body into a pair of pyjamas. She’s still the cutest little thing, no matter how old she gets.

“I love you Beebee.”

Kissing her head gently, I pull the blanket up over her chest and tuck it in around her, just like Granny always did.

“I love you more pumpkin.”

Milo was already snoring in his bed when I shut the door, leaving those two to their little sibling sleepover. I’m so happy they have each other, I know that amazing boy will look after her no matter what. She’s the Brie to his Jayce.

Turning into the corridor for my room, I freeze. Right there walking out of the room next to mine, in nothing but his suit trousers and carrying an ice bucket, is Steve.

Fuck... He looks really fucking good... Like, ‘bend me over the front desk and keep going even when I beg you to stop Daddy’ good.

I swear Lisa had the room over the other side, I thought Helena and Christopher were in that one?

Damn fucking parent trappers!

I get my door open before he has time to spot me, he was busy refilling the ice until he heard my door click.

“Brie...”

Okay girl, you got this. You guys have all been laughing and joking together downstairs like no time has passed, you can do this.

I spin to face him and forcibly try to keep my eyes away from his body, of course this lasts all of two seconds because... Well, have you fucking seen him?

Maybe it’s the celibacy thing, maybe he’s not actually that hot... No, he definitely fucking is. Damn it, I need to start going to the gym or something. Oh god, actually I can’t imagine anything fucking worse.

Okay, remember, you’re cooler than a cucumber.

“Hey, hot or something?”

He looks at me like he has no idea what I’m talking about until I glance down at the ice bucket still in his hand.

Smirking, he finds my eyes again. “So I’ve been told.”

Yeah, I bet you fucking have. He thinks he’s winning here but I was flirting when he was still in braces so this is my playing field. I reach into the bucket, plucking out a small ice chip with my nails and sliding it between my lips.

The cold water pours from it all over my hot tongue and drips down my throat until I feel totally exhilarated as the cold seeps into my veins.

I let it sit there, melting under my heat and keeping me from ripping what’s left of his clothes off him right now.

Steve goes to step in closer but I pull open my door and move inside instead. I want to be close to him, but I’m not ready to have that talk.

“Goodnight Stranger.”

He’s still chuckling to himself in the hall as the door closes, before I hear his do the same.

Fuck.

Okay Brie, that was good. You were cool and calm, you didn’t jump him right there in the hallway. That’s growth girl, ten points for Slytherin for you.

Now, if I could just stop my legs trying desperately to run back to him that would really make things a lot fucking easier!

I pull off my shoes but don’t even bother taking off my dress before throwing myself down on the bed Disney princess style.

Why is this shit so complicated? Probably because you have a shit load of questions but no pissing answers Brianna.

Or because you’re a bloody coward that is so petrified of her own feelings that you’re willing to throw all your work down the drain just to avoid a possibly emotional conversation.

The worst that can happen is he says no, this isn’t what he wants anymore. It’ll hurt like fuck, but at least if you ask, you’ll know. It has to be better than this. If it’s a no, maybe you can finally move on from this guy... maybe.

You should ask him for a drink... Yeah a drink is good, you can talk and subtly find out what the fuck is going on with him. Does he have a girl? Does he still fancy the pants off me? Well obviously he does, I mean he’s just a guy and you’ve got this ass.

Of course none of these are the question I really want to ask him...

Do you still want me?

A drink. Let’s do a drink.

I get all the way to the door before my adrenaline suddenly drops dramatically. Because it’s never going to be just a drink with Steve, it’ll never just be a meal or a walk, it’ll never be just a car ride or a trip to the beach.

Because you can’t ‘just’ do anything with someone you’re still in love with.

Oh fuck.

Yep, I can deny it as much as I fucking want but everyone knows it’s there. I never stopped, not for a second. Through every achievement of the last two years there’s only been one person I wanted to call and tell, through every crying fit there’s only been one person’s arms I wanted wrapped round me.

Through every anniversary, every graveyard visit, every Christmas, every New Years Eve..

There’s only been one person I’ve wanted. The one I still want.

Fuck it.

Readjusting my dress, I pull open the door... Only to see him leaning against the doorframe, ice bucket still in hand and that fucking grin plastered on his face.

“Took you long enough.”
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