When did shit get so complicated? Is this what being an adult is going to be like? Because I don’t like it.
Aleah comes and sits between my legs, laying back against my chest as we watch them. Her eyes catch Connor as he throws Hope high into the air before she hits the water, not caring for how wet his clothes are getting as he hears her giggle.
“He’s a good Dad, seems like a good guy too. Even Jayce likes him and that’s saying something.” She jokes.
“Yeah he is... He does something to me Al, like he makes me want to be different. I think he’s the first man I’ve ever been around that makes me feel like he wants me for more than what I look like or what I can do to him. I’m not sure how to cope with that. It’s not something I’ve ever had to deal with before...”
“You like him.”
Maybe. “Not that it would make a difference. He’s my teacher and he has a kid Al, there’s too much crap there.”
Why the fuck is this making me sad? I don’t get this way, it’s stupid. Yeah I like when I see him and when I get messages from him it makes a smile hit my face but that’s... oh shit, I really fucking like him don’t I?
“Babe, shouldn’t that be his choice? If he’s willing to risk it, shouldn’t you be too?” I hate this girl and her fucking logical arguments, isn’t being pregnant supposed to make you stupid for a few months? Where’s this pregnancy brain I hear so much about?
Connors eyes meet mine from across the pool and even Al can feel my heartbeat pick up. “Fuck.. Al, I think I’m starting to really like him... Shit! Make it go away!”
She bursts out in a fit of giggles. “Doesn’t work that way babes, can’t control who you fall for – believe me.”
Fall for? Okay we’re definitely not there yet.. no not yet – not ever! “Maybe I should just fuck him again and get it out of my system? Maybe it’s just a pussy pounding thing and if he shoves it in hard enough he’ll force all this out of me?”
She starts chuckling. “Whatever you need to tell yourself swee-.. Oh shit!” Her hand immediately falls to her stomach and a run if fear rushes through me.
“Al! What’s wrong?!” I push her back to look at her face but despite the tears in her eyes she’s smiling.
“I think they just kicked?” Her hand grabs mine and places it on the tiny bump on her stomach, I wait... then I feel it, the most gentle nudge directly under the palm of my hand.
Looking up into Al’s eyes I feel mine start to fill too. “Oh babe, they’re really in there.” I don’t know why it took this but it’s all suddenly become so real to me, she’s growing a tiny person in her belly.
I feel it again, this time by my fingers and the smile is now permanently etched on my lips. Spotting Jayce through the glass I get his attention and call him over. “Babe, put your hands here.” I pull him to his knees and place his hand under mine on her stomach... the wait never ending until suddenly his eyes grow wide as his little creation says hello.
He looks at Al, a look so full of love I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so pure. This, them, what they have. I watched them fight for it, watched it almost fall apart so many times and yet here they are. Two people bonded in a way no-one can break... Would either of them have changed a second of the pain it took to get here? No.
So it must be worth it... right?
Connor starts walking into the changing room to grab a towel and I know what I need to do right now.
I give both Aleah and Jayce big kisses before getting up from the seat, racing towards the changing rooms before stopping at the door and facing them again. “Wait, you never told me what you were having?”
Jayce smiles at Al and she nods. “A girl, we’re having our little girl.” Guess Aleah’s getting promoted to queen because Jayce is finally getting his princess. More women to rule him, about damn time too.
Pushing open the doors to the changing room I see Connor using a towel to try dry his now dripping hair, his shirt and glasses on the bench leaving the water to drip down his chest.
I look at him, his mind elsewhere and yet I can’t stop staring. “It could cost you everything.”
He stops, clearly not realising until this moment that I was even here. “I know it could.”
I take a deep breath. “I don’t want to be anyone’s girlfriend, I don’t want someone telling me I need to change how I dress or that I have to spend all my free time with them. I don’t want to have to write stupid soppy text messages at three in the morning or be worried that I need to get back in time for dinner. I’m not going to stop seeing other people or stop going out with my friends. I’m probably the worst person you could ever choose to be with and honestly I would be learning on the job because I have no idea what I’m doing.”
He steps forward quickly until I’m trapped between his body and the door behind me. “I don’t want you to change, I want you exactly as you are. I know you don’t want commitment and I’m not going to force you into that, but I know one day you’ll find yourself not wanting to look at another guy anymore and on that day I’m going to make you mine.”
I take a deep breath as I follow a bead of water that flows down his temple, his eyes even greener without being framed by his glasses. “You seem very sure about that professor.”
The most sexy smirk I’ve ever seen on a man crosses his face. “I am.”
His gaze drops to my lips just as mine does to his, the tension in the room so thick I could drink it.
I run my fingers into the back of his damp hair. “You don’t know what you’re getting yourself in for good boy.”
His eyes meet mine once more. “Neither do you.”
Then without a moment to breathe, his lips crash down onto mine.