Antonio. I can’t believe I just saw him again, right now what I wanted more than anything was to call Al... well actually what I wanted more than anything was to have Antonio thrust me up against another window but after that I really needed my best girl.
I don’t know why he acted that way, all shocked like he had no idea what he was doing. He made sure I was naked against that window for the camera, he knew it was there. Plus he left me that note.
I pull open my bedside drawer and get out my ‘shitter box’. The place where I keep little mementos from any guy I let close enough to fuck me over, just to remind me never to let it happen again.
There’s the hair scrunchy Peter Thomas gave me in second grade, right before he asked me to be his girlfriend only to run off ten minutes later to push Abigail Jones on the swings instead. Prick.
That’s where this box began, every time I found myself actually liking a guy I’d pull this out and remind myself why I didn’t do this and add something else.
There at the bottom is the folded piece of paper. Prising it out I look at the elegant handwriting.
‘Forgive me, my amore x’
What else could he have possibly wanted forgiveness for after that night? I mean I wouldn’t take it back, the multiple orgasms were almost worth the humiliation of people seeing me get fucked five ways from Sunday in shot after shot of photographs but it wasn’t those that really affected me, it was how special he made me feel only to find out it was all a lie.
It was still hard to process. I know guys, know how they work and I’m not easily fooled. He was a pro though, he made me feel like I was the only woman on earth he could be that way with. I guess being that convincing was why they paid him such good money.
I was underage that night, not that he knew that. The police has tried to find him to give a statement but they said he couldn’t be reached, I’m sure he’d probably been on the speed dial of most of the powerful women in this place that were protecting their favourite Friday night bit of fun from a potential prison stay.
How the fuck has he ended up marrying into a family like the Vanderbilt’s? Surely Clarisse must know how someone like him would be with her for more than her banging body. Money, that’s what it always comes down to with those people.
I had to push him from my head, it’s not like something was ever going to happen between us again. The whole him being engaged thing wasn’t an issue, I’d fucked more married men than I’d had hot dinners. I was always better suited to being a mistress than a wife, I got all the bits I liked; sex, presents, being wined and dined but without any of those mushy emotions ruining everything.
I folded the note and shoved it back in the box under the condom wrapper from the first time a guy actually used one with me, talk about disappointments. He barely had it in before that thing was filled, two jerks and a squirt guys are the worst right?
This job was important to me, it was how I was going to look after this family and make sure May got the support she needed. She’d been struggling in school ever since the diagnosis and the learning support officer there had suggested a one on one to accompany her and actually make the little fucker do her work but it hadn’t come cheap.
I shut the lid of the box and stuffed it back into the drawer, leaving all thoughts of Antonio along with it.
It was Kal’s first night out since Drew and she was nervous. She’d let me dress her and she looked like fire in my red strapless dress with her auburn hair poker straight down her back. “Bitch, you look incredible! There will be so many guys hanging off you tonight I give it an hour before you forget the name Drew all together.”
She smiled gently before returning to her phone, I peered over her shoulder. “Oh hell no! Kallie, stop looking at his insta! I told you to block his sorry ass!”
“Brie it’s not that easy! Look, he’s smiling and everything in this one!”
I roll my eyes. “Kallie, it’s the basketball teams professional shot. Of course he’s bloody smiling, what else was he going to do? They all bloody are... Babe you can’t keep doing this to yourself... Tough love time honey-”
Grabbing her face I turn her to face me, she needs to hear this now, it’s time. “Kal he dumped you. I’m sorry and I think he’s made the biggest mistake of his life but he still made it. You guys had a plan but instead he decided to stay there and wouldn’t even try to make it work with you here. It’s over babe and you sitting here sobbing every time he posts a pic of his cheesy chips is not going to change that.”
I stroke away the tear I can see wiggling in her eye. “I love you and I’m not saying this to upset you babe. I just know there’s someone out there that will love you like a princess and fuck you like a porn-star exactly like you deserve, but you’re not going to find them sitting here with my lonely ass every night eating brownies. So instead let’s get those fine tits of yours covered in salt and let some six pack with bone structure that can cut glass lick it off whilst doing tequila shots shall we?”
She bursts into giggles and I know my work here is done.
I squeeze myself into my favourite ‘come get it boys’ black leather mini skirt and barely there crop top that shows just the right amount of under boob. Fuck me boots at the ready and my curls tamed into a mane of seductive spirals means I’m ready to go.
“You ready?” I ask as Kal smooth’s over her tiny waist in that bondage style dress.
“Just one thing first.” She takes her phone off the bed, pulling up Drew’s insta. Just as I’m about to give her another one of my signature Brie talks she hits the block button and smiles at me. “Now I am.”
I’m so bloody proud of that girl.
Helena walks out of the house sheepishly towards Josh’s car, I offered to drive but Josh made the point that I usually end up going home in someone else’s anyway so what was the point. I’d give him a ear full for being a little slut-shamer but he actually said it with endearment, I think he enjoys living vicariously through me.
Helena stood in a giant t-shirt and jeans with some old flip flops on, she actually reminded me of Aleah a few years ago before she thankfully found the fashion light. Bless.
She looks down at her clothes. “I’m dressed...” Turning to face me and Kal she scans over our outfits and the realisation hits her. “Oh... I... I don’t have anything like what you guys have on...”
Kallie smiles at her before Josh chimes in. “Well I think you look good.”
To be fair he probably does think that. You know that stereo type gay guy that knows how to style all his girlfriends? Yeah Josh is so not that guy.
Helena blushes at Josh’s words, oh honey you are barking up the wrong tree there.
“I’ve just never been out like this before, always working or looking after mum. Can you fix me?” She pleads looking at me.
I step out of the car and look her over. “Josh you got any of my stuff still in the trunk from that trip last weekend that I absolutely said I’d come get back but we both knew I wouldn’t?”
He rolls his eyes. “I dumped most of it in your room, there’s some shoes I think?”
Pulling open the trunk it’s all just Josh’s office stuff and usual car crap, digging through I find a pair of my heels but that’s it.
“How attached are you to those clothes?”
She shrugs at me and I smile, grabbing the scissors from the first aid kit.