“You let Steve do what?!”
Aleah, always one for the big reaction. “That’s not the worst part, when he got it... I might have, accidentally... cum really hard all over him?”
There’s silence, I smooth over the ridiculously long dress Granny’s making me wear to church, you can just about see my knees!
“Brianna! You have to tell Josh! You can’t do shit like this and not tell him.”
She’s kidding right? “Absolutely fucking not! Especially not now with all the shit happening with his mum. He said they’ve got a meeting with a lawyer already set for Tuesday so she can finally divorce his prick of a father.”
I can hear Al shuffling in the background, probably trying to get that belly of hers to cooperate with trying to stand. “Yeah he called me too. I’ve always liked Denise, I’m glad she’s getting out. Josh’s Dad always gave me the willies.”
Jokes too obvious right...
“She’s moving down with her sister across town until things are sorted, hope she rinses him. The prick deserves to lose the house and that damn boat.”
Ah shit, shouldn’t have mentioned the boat. Al’s hands are probably already on the way to her panties just thinking about her and Jayce’s night on there. “Babe, I’ve got to go. Service starts soon, I’ll call you tonight or something?”
“Okay chick, if you need me to come with you to the dance studio later let me know.”
“Will do beaut, love ya.”
I was seriously dreading going to the studio, hopefully it’s all just ballet mums and I can dive out quickly as soon as it’s over.
My phone buzzed. ‘Hey, am I picking you up from the church or home? After class I’ll have to take Hope straight to her Grandmother’s if that’s okay? Meg is home today so Bethany wants her there when she arrives... She’s going to stay the night...’
The night hey? Okay tiger, I’ll take the bait. Although not massively impressed with the idea of seeing miss fancy-pants again so I’ll just stay in the car.
‘Church. It’s the one at the bottom of fifth? Get ready to ride out quick though, unless you want to play twenty questions with Granny!’
‘Actually I’d love to meet her. She sounds... interesting.’
Yeah that’s not happening. Granny would eat him for breakfast. ‘Down good boy, we’re not there yet. I’ll meet you out front at two xo’
I shoved my phone into my bag and got ready to face the music. Forgive me father for I have sinned – I fucked my boss, let a girl eat me out in front of him, screwed my teacher, came all over my best friend’s brother and went on to dream about it all night.
Can I be forgiven? Nope? Didn’t think so.
It’s too late for me people, save yourselves.
Two hours and one extremely uncomfortable conversation with Mrs Brookes about the importance of abstinence later, I finally escape.
Connor has not so subtly parked straight outside the doors but I guess it makes the get away easier. “Granny, is lover boy good to take you guys home?”
She scowls at me and I know I’m going to pay for that later. “Don’t call him that Brianna! Yes he’ll take us back and Mrs T said she’ll be by later to take the lunatic.” I look over at May who is busy digging through the collection plate hoping one of the batty old birds has accidentally put a chocolate coin in again.
“Brianna, why is that nice young man smiling at you?” Seriously, she’s calling him nice already? He could be a serial killer for all she knows!
“Um that’s Con- Professor Joseph, remember I said I’d agreed to help his daughter settle in to Ms Day’s class?”
She now starts eyeing him suspiciously. “Is he married?”
Oh God here we go. “Not anymore.”
“Hmmm...” I hate that hmm, it usually comes right before she says something I hate. “I want to meet him.” There it is.
“We actually have to go quickly, don’t want Hope to be late for her first class.”
“Oh she won’t be late.” May’s little smiling face pops up from out of nowhere. “The beginners class doesn’t start until three.”
Doesn’t this bitch know snitches get stitches? Granny crosses her arms across her chest and glares at me. For fucks sake. “Fine! Wait here.”
I walk down the steps and hurry to Connors car, trying to ignore all the looks I’m getting from the judgey little cows on the way in their oversized hats. Just because I’ve screwed most of their son's doesn’t mean I won’t smack them right here.
Connor let’s one of his giant arms lean on the window edge whilst Hope waves like crazy from the back seat. Scratching the back of my head nervously I crouch down to the window. “Um... my Granny wants to meet you... I can tell her no but she’s not very good at accepting defeat.”
He smiles at me. “I’d love to meet her.” Let’s see if you’re still thinking that when she asks to see your bank statements.
I turn to let him out but see Granny and May are almost at the car anyway, she never could listen to me giving her a simple instruction! Connor steps out while May runs to Hope and starts talking so fast I’m sure Hope is missing half of it.
Connor extends his hand to Granny as she approaches and I see her practically crush it in response. “It’s very nice to meet you Miss Parker, Brianna has told me only wonderful things about you.”
She smiles but makes sure to run her eyes down him and back up, the woman is shameless! “Please dear, I’m just Granny. No need for such formalities... You’re incredibly young to be a professor. How old are you?” Real subtle Gran...
Connor chuckles. “Thank you, I think. I’m twenty-nine but I’ve been teaching for seven years so I’m not new to it.”
She nods, a little twinkle in her eye that showed me she liked his confidence. “How old is your little girl?” She asked smiling at Hope.
“Five.” He turned back to look at Hope and signed to her that this was my grandmother. She smiled and waved at Granny before returning her attention to May. My little firecracker had asked me to teach her a few signs so she could communicate with Hope, she was really trying her best but I could see the confusion on Hopes face as she got a bit confused on what fingers she should be using. Ten out of ten for effort though.
Granny looked on at the little girl in awe, I dare anyone to not fall immediately in love with Hope, it’s impossible. “You know I thought Brianna was deaf for a while, turns out it was just pig ignorance. Selective hearing the doctor called it.”
Oh god I’m going to kill her.
Connor just laughs and Granny joins him. “Is she the same in class, or have you found a way to keep her attention?”
He smiles at me. “Actually she’s my best student. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s taking my job by the end of the year.”
He’s so fucking cute. I don’t think anyone has ever said I was good at school before, look at me! I’m a nerd!
May hears an ice-cream van passing and immediately bolts, Granny chasing after her screaming. I grab Connors arm. “Quick, let’s go before she gets back.” I practically shove him into the car and force him to make a run for it, all to a chorus of Hope’s laughter.