My Twisted Lovers - Book Two of The Forbidden Lust

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Chapter 81

“Josh!” Jayce tries to pull Josh back from the quivering wreck of a man in front of him, I know that this is the first time he’s seeing the man since he found out all about what the prick has put his Mum through for the last few years.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Josh angry, not since that time he flipped out at my dance class protecting Harley, but even that was gone in an instant. It’s not in his nature.

Standing here now I realise how truly terrifying he could be, his cute baby face all angles and teeth, his usual laid back frame broad and erect as he squares up to the man he has placed firmly against the wall. Even Jayce can’t budge him.

Aleah stands in the doorway of Steve’s room but she’s making no effort to try calm Josh, in fact she looks ready to kill herself. “Jayce stop trying to pull him back, let him kill the twat.” Okay what’s going on here, this can’t just be about Denise. Aleah is the least violent person I know and even she wants blood right now.

“Al, what the fuck happened?” She doesn’t get a chance to respond as the elevator doors open and three burly security guards step out.

Jayce stands between them and Josh, not letting them pass him before he speaks. “Just give me a minute to try calm him down before you throw him out of here?”

The two smaller, but still huge, security guards look to the tall one in the middle who nods at Jayce. “Quickly.”

Jayce gives an appreciative nod back before turning to face Josh again, who’s now moved so his forearm is placed firmly against his father’s chest. “Josh, mate, if you don’t let him go right now they’re going to stop you being able to come in here and see Steve. Whatever he’s done we’ll deal with it but let him go now, Steve needs you to be here not in a cell somewhere.”

His voice seems to break through the walls Josh had constructed around himself as he gently lets his father go, the man taking a deep and terrified breath as Josh removes the pressure from his chest. “Come near me or Steve again and I will fucking kill you. Stop paying for his care and I will fucking kill you. Deny my mother her divorce and I will fucking kill you, do you understand?”

Never in my life have I heard that tone come out of Josh’s mouth, he’s not shouting, his tone is low and completely calm but I’ve never heard him sound more frightening. What the fuck did this guy do?

Jayce talks quickly to the security guards to prevent Josh’s arrest as his father rushes from the ward without looking back, I see a number of nurses look uneasy but it doesn’t seem to be directed at Josh entirely.

I almost forget Steve is in the room as we all step back inside, I avoid looking at him as I settle myself into one of the tub chairs. I want to hug Josh and tell him whatever it is will be okay but he’s pacing so much I can’t keep up.

Al settles into the chair next to me as Jayce pulls Josh from the room, instructing him to go get air. The crinkling of a packet draws my attention back to the pregnant walking bag of quavers. “Jayce should have let him kill him.”

Seriously, where does she keep getting these chips from? That’s not even the same bag she had earlier!

“What happened?”

Al takes a swig of her water before offering me some and continuing to talk through mouthfuls of chips. “The guys a psycho. We’re just sitting here having a chat with one of the nice nurses when the twat comes barging in here with some suit in a toupee. First I thought maybe it was like a specialist or something until I read the department he works for off his briefcase – organ donation.”

What the fuck? “Josh wasn’t particularly happy to see him anyway considering everything that’s going on with Denise, but then he walks in here after not seeing Steve for literal years, talking about how this guy is from a company that pays for organs from coma victims before they can be donated to the hospital. Apparently they sell them for a fortune and someone so fit and healthy like Steve would be a prime candidate.”

She’s right, Josh should’ve killed him. “I mean, I know if he was actually going to die then Steve is definitely the kind of guy that would want to save as many people as he can on the way out, so he would definitely donate but this cunt was talking about hacking him up and selling off the pieces! For gods sake he could still wake up any minute! Even the nurse that was in here couldn’t believe what was happening. Josh just lost his shit and the organ donation guy bolted before Josh could make him a fucking candidate.”

“Fuck, is that even legal?” Al shrugs, slightly disappointed as she stares into the bottom of the chip bag to see it’s already empty.

“Think so, the nurse says it happens but never under these circumstances. Who even thinks of this shit when their kid is in the hospital? How is your first thought when you find out your own child is fighting for their life – can I make a quick buck from this?”

If I ever see that man again I’m going to rip off his own dick and fuck him with it.

“Babe you good for five? There’s vending machines at the bottom of the hall and I’m starving, haven’t eaten hardly anything today.” She has to be shitting me... I nod, trying not to let out the laugh until she’s very clear of the room.

The room is quiet again as my laughter stops, the only noise is the beeping of the heart monitor attached to Steve. I try not to look, my body begging me not to but I cant help it. Looking up I see him still laying there, the wires and tubes invading his body to the point I want to tear them all out.

I get up and walk to the seat at his bedside, it’s so worn in I know Josh has hardly left it. My go, he really is beautiful. His body is dressed in only a blue hospital gown and I envy the lucky nurse who got to strip him down.

There’s no movement, nothing. I don’t know why I thought there would be but a tiny part of my hoped for a gentle flicker of his thick dark lashes at least, other than the shallow rise and fall of his chest there’s little sign of life in him right now.

I run my fingers along his arms, the bumps and ridges of the healing wounds each feel like a stab to my heart. My legs are a mess but his arms are even worse, I can’t help feeling the guilt that comes with knowing I took the protection for myself that would’ve prevented each and every one of these.

“I’m so sorry Steve.” My hand reaches his wrist and I slide it down further until I interlock my fingers with his. There’s no life to his hold on me and a tiny tear finally breaks free of my eyes, a single one, I feel no fear letting it fall as I sit here just me and him. I worry even if he was awake I’d still not fear it because he’s always had the ability to make me feel so safe.

His lips stare back at me, perfectly pink and plump as the most terrifying thought I’ve ever had rushes over me – what if I’m the last person that ever gets to kiss them?

I should never be anyone’s last kiss, or anyone’s first. I’m not that girl. Your first kiss should be with someone who is as excited to share it with you as you are with them, that’s never been me. Your last kiss should be with the person who owns your heart whilst you hold theirs, that’ll never be me either. I’m no-ones beginning and I’m nobody’s end, I’m just the girl you bang in the back alley between relationships then brag to your friends about. It’s all I’ll ever be.

Placing my lips to his forehead I leave my mark, my final reminder to him that I was ever here. I won’t ruin him, I can’t. It has to be over some how, with all of them really. No matter what Jayce or Al or anyone says, he’s here because of me. “We would’ve been amazing.”

For a brief, stupidly short moment I thought I felt his hand tense against mine but as my heart stops pounding I look and see it’s still perfectly relaxed. I have to get out of here before I crumble.

Getting out the door I see Al walking back from the vending machine with more snacks than she can quite balance properly and smile, which she returns. “Jayce is gonna drive Josh home but he’s coming up to get you first so I’m gonna stay with Steve... babe, you okay?”

I nod, plastering on a face I know she won’t buy but that will make her let me leave. “Yeah bitch I’m golden, just knackered. I’ll grab the lift and meet him down there.”

She nods and I kiss her on the cheek quickly, trying not to spill her snack pyramid, before forcing myself to stay upright and on my feet.

These three guys, no matter their faults, they all deserve more than I have to offer.

I’m not enough, I was never enough.

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