Second Impressions

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Slim Shady and shit

I can wear this dress with elegance and still be sexy as hell. I walked working my dress and entered the car. Vivian and Sarah were seated inside waiting. I was almost sure this was the same car Darius used to take me to the hospital.

“Someone looks smoking hot” Sarah muttered.

“Shit, you look amazing,” Vivian said widening her eyes. “I think with that outfit we might stand a chance at winning.”

“Winning what?”

“Oh, I am taking you girls to a little competition,” Vivian said accelerating the car.

“I told you, we were doing something fun,” Sarah commented.

I frowned my face as we arrived at a bar. It had red and blue lights blinking with a huge line of people waiting to get in. We walked together and Vivian smiled at the bouncer who opened the back door for us.

Once inside, I was surprised by the glamour of the place, it had a 20′s vibe with dark wood floors and velvet curtains. Small round tables were surrounded by comfortable chairs and in the middle was small and circular stage. It felt like a jazz club and it smelled like a smooth cocktail of spicy fragrances and warm scents.

Someone guided us to a table right in the middle, and on top, a couple of Veuve Cliquot champagne bottles were placed in a bucket of ice.

“You know that Sarah is pregnant and I can’t drink much?” I said glancing at Vivian while we sat.

“Live a little,” she said watching me as if I was lame.

I am not lame!

“I can have a couple of glasses, but that’s it,” I said with a little attitude.

“I promise I won’t order tequila shots.” She popped one of the bottles and served us two glasses.

“Pick your songs quickly, if not we’ll have to wait for that group,” Vivian muttered to Sarah who was already jumping with excitement.

Oh, so it is karaoke. Great. I hated singing.

I turned my head and watched a group of guys in one of the tables right at the edge of the stage. They looked big and young, and one of them gave me kind of a Justin Bieber’s vibe. He was kind of cute.

Am I not that old or am I starting to have cougar tendencies?

“Whatever, they don’t look like much of a competition,” I said waving my hand.

“Oh, this is a new type of karaoke Ollie, here we bet. I already paid for your tickets.”

“How much is the winning price?”

“Not much, around a thousand.”

“That is an expensive hell of karaoke. Is this some kind of pitch-perfect thing?”

“No, but If you want to win then you should start playing your game. That guy right there looks like a Miniature version of Bruno Mars”

“Bruno Mars is already small,” I said quickly.

“Exactly, look” she signal the stage with her finger and I watched how a tiny, tiny, tiny little man with big hair, glasses, and a shirt open to his belly stood frozen in a pose before the music started.

“You’ve got to be kidding me”

“Oh no, this is just starting”

The guy started his choreography and moved exactly like the music video and then when he started singing it was kind of horrible.

“No!,” I said watching the show, I was just missing some popcorn.

“I think we already have a chance of winning. I already bet on our table, I know Sarah has a beautiful voice.”

“My turn,” Sarah said as she stood on stage and the flute melody of the titanic song started.

Celine Dion, Sarah? Planning on putting everyone to sleep?

“That’s a hard one,” Vivian said.

“Every night in my dream...” Sarah started singing beautifully and everyone watched her.

Okay, sis, you’ve got this!

“Here far wherever you are I’ll believe that heart does go on...” she continued singing but I knew we were reaching the part of the song that incremented on difficultty.

Once I imagined the high pitch level that she had to reach I wrinkled my eyes and instinctively covered my ears to protect them.

She opened her arms in the air as the bass hit and sang like her lungs were about to collapse “You are here there’s no—”

Oh, shit her voice broke and she swallowed hard touching her neck. The track kept on going and she quickly step on the vocals fixing her performance but everyone was quiet.

“—thing I fear and I know that my heart will go on.” I started clapping to support her and only a few joined me as she finished the song with dignity.

We need a serious comeback.

“There goes my money,” Vivian said disappointed swallowing the remaining on her glass. “Better to leave the competition to the professionals,” She stood up a little bit tipsy.

This was way more fun than I expected, I even poured myself another glass of champagne and relaxed back at the sit. Vivian started singing Like a Virgin from Madona and the crowd went wild. What was unexpected was how she stumbled on stage and fell to the floor leaving a big bruise on her forehead.

Shit, so close.

The guys from the corner helped her on her feet and brought her to our table. She grabbed a cube of ice from the bucket and placed it on her head. “At least You didn’t break a tooth.” I said to her.

“Oh, shit,” Vivian said upset.

“It’s okay.” Sarah muttered. “It is just a silly contest.”

“No, I ended betting more than I should on our table,” she said with fear in her eyes.

“Are you nuts?” I blurted.

“I was so confident, Ollie”

“But you said the price for winning was a thousand.”

“I know but I wanted to make it more exciting and I approached those guys and well I placed a separate bet with them”

“How much?” Sarah asked.

“Let’s just say we’ll have to Uber back home,” Vivian said quickly.

“You bet Darius’ car? That is very irresponsible” Sarah said covering her mouth.

I knew it was the same car!

“And who did you bet against,” I asked looking for any way I could help.

“Against him” Vivian signaled the stage and we watched the kid that looked just like Justin Bieber sing like a prodigy, and to our disadvantage, he hit every note with perfection.

“He is going to cut my head.”

Oh, yes he is.

I honestly felt bad for the girl.

“Don’t even tell me the value of the car because if not I am going to faint” I muttered.

“Oh god, we already lose,” Vivian covered her head with her arms. “Who can beat that”

“What are you talking about?” I said to Vivian. “I haven’t performed yet.”

“Don’t even try, it’s not fun anymore.”

“I might not be a good singer... but I can rap,” I said confidently.

“Oh, yes. She is good.” Sarah nodded. “Slim Shady and shit”

“I get it, she is white and she can rap, but he is too good.”

I’ll show you...good.

“Vivian, order some shots, I am going to need them, and Sarah... please don’t be mad.” I stood up arching my eyebrows.

“Don’t you dare roast me in front of everyone! You get mean when you rap!”

Oh yes, she knew I was the queen of roasting.

I went to the Dj and asked him if I could do some freestyle instead of a song, he nodded as he watched my body with a smile, at least my outfit did help out tonight.

Okay, Ollie, you got this, Let’s get that car back.

I returned to the table, took two shots in a row, and walked to the stage grabbing the mic. Bieber was on a table near the edge and started jangling the car keys in his hand with a schmuck smile.

Not, so fast.

With the room silent and me standing on stage I spoke.

“All right Dj, give me a beat” the beat started and I started to jump on stage pulling my hand up.

Okay, Don’t think Ollie. Just rap.

“Everybody bored with this routine,

put your motherfucking’ hands up counting one two three.”

“Everybody bored with this routine,

put your motherfucking’ hands up counting one two three,” I repeated the verse and everyone was following my movements with their hands, exactly what I wanted.

I walked down the stage, and the light followed me. I stood in front of my sister, ready to end her.

Sorry, sis…

“This is my sister Sarah, Isn’t that awesome.

She is blonde, not dumb, a gold digger with a purpose.

She eats organic, with plants and leaves.

She might be vegan but we all know she loves meat.”

“ohh” the public muttered and I saw her eyes widen as she covered her mouth, but I continued. The words escaped my lips and I felt how the people were feeding on my lyrics.

“What meat? Who’s meat? Let me tell you her secret?

She secured her investment by getting big and pregnant.

The dude is so dumb and his family knows,

That he is stretching his pockets to give her all of his coins.”

“Ohhhh” The crowd exclaimed louder as I burned her with my words, but I was not done, I was on a new level. I walked next to Vivian, whose face was indescribable purple, from the bruise that was already showing.

“Oh, here we go again, prepare to meet your end,

Cause I’m changing to a person that we all know too well.

She is phony and clumsy, and you all saw her hit her head,

while she played to be a virgin and that didn’t end well.”

Everybody looked at Vivian and started laughing while I walked back to the stage and I kneel on the floor near my opponent ready to destroy him.

“And for the newest singer singing sweet and shit,

You have not enough temper to handle me.

I looked you up on Facebook, you have cero friends,

My god you are such a loser, now get out of my way.”

The guy’s face was pale and the crowd went nuts whistling and clapping while I continued. I watched his hands loosening the grip on the keys and I knew the moment was now or never.

“I see your friends watching over the front road.

They watch you fake smiling, Brou they want to slip your throat.

I am the winner, bitch there ain’t no queen like me,

Now give me back my keys before I’ll bust all your teeth.”

I snatched Darius’ keys from his hands and felt like a winner as the crowd went wild. Before I stepped away from the stage I said one last thing. “Go back to Disney, Bieber...”

They kept whistling and yelling as I walked fast to our table.

“Did we win?” Vivian muttered with a face that showed full shock.

“I don’t know, but I have the keys. Now let’s get the fuck out.”

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