Don't look back

I throw my stuff in the boot of my car. Jump into the driver seat throw the car into reverse and back out of the driveway.

Once on the street I throw the car into drive and I take off in a cloud of smoke. Watching the house I only moved into 2 months ago grow smaller and smaller in my rearview mirror.

I look up from my computer screen to the clock on the wall.

“Shit its already 8:30” I say into the empty room.

Time seems to go so quickly when I am on a roll with the article I am writing. I am in the middle of investigating the corrupt officers in our police force. Another massive drug lord has been let off for dealing because of the corruption. Another family will lose a loved one because of this scum that walks our streets

I save my work, turn off my laptop and shove it into my bag. I grab the rest of my stuff and head out of the office. I am the only one here so the office is eerily quiet which doesn’t bother me. I make my way down to the parking garage to my car.

Throwing my stuff into the passenger seat, I close the door and walk around to the drivers seat. Closing the door after getting in I start the car and head off home.

I pull into the driveway of my house and notice that my besties car is here. There is nothing new with Amy being over most nights. We have been best friends since university. She was standing beside me 2 months ago when I married my best friend.

I get out of the car and walk up to the front door. The door is locked which is uncommon. I unlock the door and enter the house. I hear something come from the kitchen which doesn’t sound like talking. I walk into the kitchen and freeze.

“Oh yes Adam. Right there. Oh My God” I hear Amy scream out. “Oh baby. You are so tight. So much tighter than Luce” I hear my husband say. I am frozen in place. My feet won’t move but the sound I make means my mouth isn’t frozen.

“What the actual fuck” I yell out. Two heads go flying in my direction and the looks on their faces are priceless. “Are you actually for-fucking-real. Seriously Adam. Amy” I scream at them.

The tears are starting the fall from my eyes. I never imagined I would walk in to find my husband and best friend screwing in my kitchen. My marriage is a lie. My whole friendship is a lie.

I run into the bedroom and grab my suitcase. I start throwing everything I can into the suitcase. I am not staying where I am not wanted. My life is worth more than being the mistreated party. If they want to be together, I will not stand in their way, but my god I will not make their lives easy.

Amy being a marriage counselor, this will ruin her. Her job is to keep people married and she has been a help in ruining one.

Adam well he can go and get fucked.

I have grabbed my stuff that I can. I throw my rings onto the floor and spit on them. So unlady like I know but you would do the same if you had witnessed this.

I walk out the front door slamming it behind me and take off down the path to my car.

Now here I am, driving the 4 hours to my hometown. Thankfully, I have my work laptop with me. I can finish my work at mum’s home. I will email my boss when I get to mums.

I’m driving down the freeway easily doing 30 over the speed limit. My heart is broken and my mind is running on a loop. The words he spoke about me.

“I’m not tight? Bull fucking shit I’m not tight. Amy has had more cocks than hot dinners” I say to myself in the car.

I am so fucking angry. The tears are leaving their own track marks down my face. My heart is crushed. I thought I had it all. The perfect marriage, the white picket fences.

I am about an hour away from mum’s house. The radio is playing Halsey’s ‘You should be sad’ I sing along to the lyrics as loud as I can.

“No, you're not half the man you think that you are

And you can't fill the hole inside of you with money, girls and cars

I'm so glad I never ever had a baby with you

'Cause you can't love nothin' unless there's somethin' in it for you”

I pull over to the side of the road when my vision becomes blurry. I punch the steering wheel of my car.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” I scream. “Why the fuck does this shit happen?” I question myself. I can’t breathe. I feel clammy and the cold sweats are starting. “Seriously FUCK MY LIFE” I yell out

I scroll through my playlist on spotify looking at breakup songs. I press shuffle on a playlist and Beyoncè ‘Irreplaceable’ comes on. I sing along to the song

“You must not know about me, you must not know about me

I could have another you in a minute

Matter of fact, he'll be here in a minute, baby

You must not know about me, you must not know about me

I can have another you by tomorrow

So don't you ever for a second get to thinking

You're irreplaceable”

I might not have been good enough for Adam that he had to go and stick his cock in a walking STD but I at least have dignity