Bed Of Thornes

All Rights Reserved ©

Chapter Twenty One

“You look beautiful.” I tell Rachel as she steps out of the door at her house.

“That's very kind of you to say, thank you. You're looking quite handsome yourself.” She flashes me a bright smile and begins to blush.

“Thank you. Ready to laugh?” I smile wide.

“Ready.” She nods.

We get to the comedy club and it looks like it's already packed. Thankfully I made the reservation or we may not have gotten in. The music before the show is playing so loud we can hear it from where I parked the car. The line to the door isn't too long, but those with reservations get in right away so we don't have to wait. As soon as we step inside we're greeted with a tray of wines and champagnes. Rachel chooses a white wine and I go for one of the reds. We make our way to the table and sit down to enjoy our drinks before the show begins.

“Is this your first time here?” I ask her over the music.

“Yes, it is. I've heard of this place before but never took the time to check it out. I'm glad you invited me.” She says and takes a drink from the glass in her hand.

“I'm glad you accepted. I've been here a few times . . . though never with such a hot date before.” I wink and raise my glass in a cheers fashion before taking a drink.

“Hot date huh?” She bites her lip and her mouth flinches.

“Okay, so maybe it's not an official date. Either way, it's hot company.” I grin.

She seems to purposely change the topic of conversation. “So what are some of the first steps you plan to take to get your music back out there?”

“You mean besides landing the hottest manager out there to lead the way?” She does that thing with her mouth again and pushes her long auburn hair behind her ear. “Okay, I get the hint . . . you don't like compliments.” I chuckle.

“It's not that.” She pauses for a second. “So besides management, do you have any songs in the works that you'd like to start recording soon?” Again, she avoids the subject of any flirtation.

The funny thing is, I have no intention of flirting and really it's more of an honest compliment. Though she's attractive and has my full attention tonight, I'm trying my best to ignore the temptation of the forbidden fruits; love, sex, and arousal in general. She's just a friend, Adrian. I remind myself. A sexy friend, but just a friend none-the-less. I turn my attention back to her questions.

“As I mentioned before, I haven't put anything into my music for some time now . . . but I do have lyrics that have been running through my mind and are ready to bust out of me, so there's that.” I give her a crooked smile.

“At least you have that.” She smiles.

The music dies down and the host of the show comes out on the stage to present the first act. The crowd around us is obnoxious and loud but drowns out the thoughts in my head just as I hoped for. After the applauds and noises settle, the first comedian of the night begins his introduction and the air is filled with laughter for the rest of the show. After our top-of-the-line seafood platters and drinks, the last two acts perform and the host gives a proper send off.

“So it looked like you really enjoyed yourself in there.” I say as we walk to the car.

“Yeah, I don't regret taking you up on the offer. Very happy I finally got to see what this place is all about. Thank you for tonight.” She stops by the car door to wait for me to open it.

“You're welcome. I'm happy that I got to provide the experience for you.” I wink at her. I go to open the car door and pause to turn to her. “I couldn't stop watching you laugh.” I mentally slap my forehead. “Wow. That sounded crazy.” I chuckle. “I mean, your smile and laughter are contagious and the sight of you was a pleasure to witness.”

“That's sweet.” She puts her head down in possible embarrassment.

I let go of the door and pull her head up to look her in the eyes and grab her by the waist, pull her in close, and go in for a kiss. She jerks out of my hold and steps back in a panic.

“Whoa. Adrian, what are you doing?” She's flustered.

“I thought . . .”

She interrupts before I can get out my words. “You thought wrong. I came here with you as a friend, to have a good time and maybe fit in some business talk. Nothing more.”

“I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt that strongly against me. I wasn't trying to make you uncomfortable.” I back away even further from her, feeling extremely awkward about the decision I made to kiss her without her mutual thoughts on it happening.

“I guess you should try to get to know someone a little better before making such a move.” She shakes her head in disgust. “I'm a lesbian. You know, just for your information and future reference. Not that you took the initiative to learn about me before assuming you're welcome to just force yourself upon me.”

“I wouldn't call it forceful.” I proceed to open the door again for her. “Look, I'm really sorry Rachel. I didn't mean to just take it upon myself to make a move that you weren't into. I was wrong and should have at least took the time to find out more about you before attempting anything even remotely close to what just happened. I feel like an idiot. Let me take you home, I owe you that much. I wouldn't be shocked if you never speak to me again after that stunt.” Shame floods my expression.

“Don't let it happen again.” She gets in the car and slams the door.

The drive to her house is almost unbearable. There's a stench that reeks of awkwardness filling the air around us in a thick fog that chokes us into a silence that seems to be unbreakable. I'm ashamed of myself in more ways than one and there's no redemption after what just occurred. The ride time stretches out longer than it really is, making the misery of the moment that much more unpleasant. What the hell was I thinking? Stupid. I throat-punch my damn self in my mind. Nice way to make things any better for yourself, dumb ass, it's like you're looking for agony. Before we finally pull up to her driveway, she speaks without looking my way.

“Did I really give off that signal?” She asks as she stares forward.

“No, you didn't. I'm apparently just that big of an dummy.”

She gets out as soon as the car stops and doesn't say another word to me. I watch her walk to her door, then I back out of the driveway before she catches me still sitting here and thinks I'm any more of a creep than I'm sure she already sees me as. Way to put yourself out there man, you really showed a lady a good time, asshole. What the hell is wrong with me? I don't know if I'll ever get shit right. Maybe I deserve to be alone. I get home and call Mason, my go-to when shit hits the fan – which is becoming quite constant with me.

“I fucked up.” I say before he can even say hello.

“Ah man, you didn't?” He already knows. Of course, I'm not hard to figure out lately.

“I did. I kissed her and she practically threw me backwards with rage that I could be that ignorant. Dude, she's not even into guys. I know . . . stupid.” I let out a sigh.

“What happened to strictly business and just friends?”

“That all went out the window when my cock got involved by the end of the night.”

“The last thing you need right now is a rebound. It's not going to help you get over her bro. Rebounds are a temporary fix, not to mention they fuck up good shit in the process. So now what?”

“It all happened so quickly. The evening went well and we really enjoyed our time, then I had to go and trash everything that was good. I'm sure I messed up any chances of having her as the guidance I needed with my music. I don't know that she'll ever talk to me again.”

He lets out a quick sigh. “Did you at least apologize?”

“Really? I know I'm an asshole and all, but I did that much. I even tried to let her know how dumb it was of me. I just don't think she cared what I had to say after I made myself out to be a real jerk.”

“Forget management right now. Let her breathe and think on it before you try to contact her about it. For now, do you. Do what you do best, create music and go from there. Don't get tangled up in any more webs in the meantime. Just focus on what's important to keep you sane right now.”

“That's why I turn to you Mase, I can always count on you to set me straight when I'm taking the wrong path.”

“Just take it seriously and you'll be all right man. Shit can't get much worse. It's up to you to decide what's right for you, I'm just here to help keep you from destroying the good you have in you. That's what friends are for – to bring out the best of each other and be there through it all; ups and downs, good and bad, even the ugly. I got you bro, I believe you have my back too. Don't sweat it.”

“Whoever assembled you got the wires just right, you're a good man Mason.”

“You're a good man too, don't ever think you're not, you just need a little inspiration when things are off balance. Once you get this music going and your head is on straight, other things will all fall into place. Believe me. I've not always been this way, I had my times of being a straight idiot and fucking up every time I turned around. It takes those lessons learned to get it right and it's not always easy, but learning from the mistakes is what makes you a better man.”

“I'm lucky to have such a wise friend. Who knows where I'd be if it weren't for your wisdom. Thanks man, I appreciate you always being there to listen to my problems and shit. Jenna's a lucky lady too, she landed someone to share life with that's not out for his own selfish reasons. I know she knows it, that girl really feels deeply for you. It's like you improve the life of those you come in contact with or something. I mean Jen used to be a party girl and was on the careless side until you came around. You've made a huge impact on our lives. That means a lot.”

“What can I say? It's better to make a difference than to watch it all fall apart. There's good in everyone, we just have to make an effort to care enough to see it.” He pauses for a second. “If our bro-mance is declared and we're all good, I'm going to call it a night. I've got work in the morning and have to pull a double tomorrow so it's gonna be a long ass day.”

I can't contain a laugh. “Yeah man, our bro-mance is straight. My bad for bothering you so late with you having work all day tomorrow. Get some rest and give me a holler when you get a chance. I'm going to try to get back on at work myself, I took the time off for no reason so I need to get back in the swing of things before I lose it all. I'll be around whenever you get at me though. Maybe we can go have some drinks this weekend or some shit.”

“Sounds like a deal to me. Good luck with the workplace bro. I'll hit you up later.”

“All right man. Good looking out.”

We hang up and I hit the shower before posting up on the couch all night to write out these lyrics that just won't give up until I get them down on paper. The title comes to me without questioning, it's perfectly fitting . . . 'Bed of Lies'.

After a long night of writing, my thoughts were able to pour out through my pencil and my emotions have had time to gather themselves. I not only considered Mason's advice while going through the stages of self-renewal, but I also came to the conclusion that I know what I want out of life and what I really need to do. First of all, it's not all about me. It is in some ways, because I'm by myself and need to step it up with my career choice and other aspects . . . however, it's also about who I am tied to . . . my friends and those I care about matter just as much. So the decisions I make not only affect my own life, but theirs as well – in some form, that is.

Here's the thing I need to make right. I need to stop beating myself up over being in love. I need to accept what my heart desires and make it happen. The situation with Veronica isn't solely in my control, it's in hers as well as mine. We need to come together and stop with the games to figure out what's best for both of us. Leaving it where it's at since I left Paris just isn't going to do it for me. I don't know how she feels about it being left this way, but it's time to put both of our feelings about it as a priority and not just one of us getting it the way we want. I'm not done with her. I'm upset, hurt, and even a little angry about what happened while she's been away. Put all of that aside and look at the bigger picture. This is a woman I fell hard for, the first and only that I've felt as strongly as I have for her. I'm not finished with her until I know this isn't meant to be. I need to know a hundred percent that she doesn't love me. Once I get that confirmation, then I have the closure needed to move on. Until then, how do I know she doesn't feel how I feel but is just too afraid to show it? Maybe she just doesn't know how. She taught me how to fuck her, I can teach her how to love if she's willing and if it's what she really feels for me.

I just don't think it’s right to give up so easily. I don't think it's fair to either of us. There has to be a definite answer to this question that's been left dangling over our lives. It's time to figure out how to make the question disappear and the answer to be flat out confirmed. Who knows what affect is has on her if I just make a solo decision to give up. I know I've viewed her as selfish throughout this and maybe she is. On the other hand, it's not about just one of us, this is two hearts and two souls we're dealing with. Love might not be important to all, it may be silly to many . . . but love deserves more than a irrational pitching out the window without a second thought as to what it means to the ones intertwined. Could we be throwing it all away? Sure, I could be playing the fool again. Veronica may be in her perfect little world of art and lovers and not even worried about my ass. How do I know that, though? Do I really know what she's doing or how she's feeling? No, because I fled from the scene like a scared puppy that just got his feelings hurt instead of sticking it out to find out what I went there for in the first place. Does she want to be with me or not? It could all be so simple, we've just made it hard.

I'm ready to fix what is either the worst mistake that I've made so far in life or the best decision. Whichever it turns out to be, I'll be satisfied that I made the effort to figure it out before it turned into the biggest regret ever. Not knowing is a horrible feeling. Not understanding, not getting to the bottom of what it all meant. I don't mind to be the fool if that's what it takes to find out the truth behind it all. If I was honestly just a toy, just a game she used to occupy her sick mind. I'm aware that's what it could turn out to be. I'm also prepared for that this time. This is the final round in my fight for love. She can take it or leave it, but I'm not going out without this one last battle to get the answers for both of our sake's. She deserves this as much as I do. I can say that because I love her and care about what's best for her. She may need me more than she realizes, to help her cope with this disease of addiction, and to be there for her when she's alone and weak. Don't get me wrong, this is a very strong woman who thinks she doesn't need anyone. That's the thing, it could be a cry for help. This is all part of what needs to be brought to the light.

We don't need each other to live, but to live we may need each other. Welcome to our world of contradictions. That's the struggle of her and I. It's like one big fucking cycle of need but don't need, it makes no sense. Hell, love doesn't always make sense. I've heard that love only prevails when it's meant to be, so this is it. There's no more guessing once the final battle is fought. No matter the outcome, I'm going to continue to grow and steady myself for the things I aspire for in life. I refuse to let anything keep me from being me. Love no longer has a hold on me, I'm taking the reins of my life, and love will be a part of it only if it can be contained correctly. Unconditional love is only real for those that believe in loving without boundaries, no matter what, they will love the person. I've not been proven to that it exists, but maybe my expectations are set far too high for a young man that hasn't been through as much in life as some have. It probably takes a lot of trials to go through before seeing that it's possible to love the way you do when it's unconditional.

I'd like to get there before I die. To feel the feeling before it's too late. To know what it is to love and be loved, to be in a committed relationship that means there's trust and stability, to be in love so deeply that nothing else matters, and to love in a manner that is unconditional through thick and thin. It's said that it's better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all. Well, I'll find out for myself before my days are done. I feel like we all deserve to know the truth. Life has enough unanswered questions and there's no reason to make it any more difficult than it already is. I'm not taking the result of my quest as a win or a loss. I'm going to take it as a victory of simply knowing. I can only hope Veronica will appreciate my intentions and see it for what it truly is because it's not only me in this, it's us. This is my gift to myself and to this beautiful woman that stole my heart with more than just her powerful pussy.

Continue Reading Next Chapter

About Us

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered publisher, providing a platform to discover hidden talents and turn them into globally successful authors. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books our readers love most on our sister app, GALATEA and other formats.