Double Star.

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8: Almost a Kiss.

PoV Sarah:

- “Jordan ? “. I can’t believe that the person standing in front of me is none other than my childhood friend and my old classmate ″Jordan Smith”. My thoughts are lost in the noise of the steps and discussions that the students are making in the halls. Maybe I’m dreaming?

- “No you’re not dreaming, it’s REALLY me !“. Oh no, he heard me. His voice sounded sad and angry at the same time and that’s when my memory reminded me. I abandoned him, he wanted to know about me and I rejected him. Too hurt and fearful, I couldn’t face anyone after my parents’ death, so I just wanted to forget about anyone who has been in my life and start another one, meet people who won’t look at me with pity every time I talk to them. But it seems that I was wrong, with my lame and shameful attitude, I ended up breaking a relation that could’ve last forever.

- “I...sorry”. I know that my low pitiful voice won’t erase my bad behavior towards him but I just said it, hoping that it would...somehow. He got closer to me until the distance that separated us reduced to a few inches and then in an instant, he hugged me.

-” Sarah...“. He sighed, “I am not mad at you “. These few words warmed my heart. I knew that he wouldn’t be angry at me, that he would try to understand me and forgive me cause, after all, I faced the most difficult period in my life but, was he responsible? Surely not and that makes me realize that I am a selfish coward who believes that whenever she tries to speak out, no one could hear or understand her, always trying to break away from people and abandoning them on the road, without any clear reason.

- “So, how’s life ? I haven’t seen you in a while. You seem to be well, you know what ? Allison and Anna were missing you so much that they were always talking about you”. He declared, putting his hands on my shoulders. Allison and Anna? And I was the one thinking that they won’t even remember my name when I’ll leave.

- “And you know, I missed you too”. He confessed, scratching his neck. His cheeks turned red and I couldn’t help but find him cute and smiled.

- “By the way, I ...“. He stopped suddenly, looking in my eyes with hesitance then looked nervously around him because of the prying eyes. I dragged Jordan with me, away from the too-curious and intrusive sights.

- “What are you doing here Jordan ? “. I finally asked in a quiet corner.

- “Well you see, after the ...death of...your parents, I wanted to know about you, I called you but you didn’t answer me, I even came to your house but you refused to open the door to me. At first, I didn’t understand why you were doing this to me, we were friends for a long time, and everything was going right between us, so why didn’t you want to talk to me ?! I asked myself that so many times and I knew later that you needed time to put the past behind you, so I left you alone. And I convinced myself that you would come to class, someday. But when I heard that you left us, I ... I couldn’t face it. I wanted to see you at any price. So I came here, to the same school as you. I joined you for the only reason to tell you this Sarah”. I listened to him carefully and didn’t interrupt him, I could tell by the tone he employed that he is hurt and my eyes couldn’t look at his’, probably cause of the guilt.

- “Tell me what Jordan ? “.

- “I love you, Sarah! “. I winked many times not understanding the situation immediately but when I met his hazel eyes, staring at me intensely, I somehow understood his feelings.

Jordan is in love with me!

- “I tried to forget you, I swear, but it was impossible. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I had to see you, to tell you”. His words left me speechless and I couldn’t look at him especially when his stare is getting more persistent. I don’t want to reject him and hurt his feelings but...How can I explain to him that I don’t feel the same about him? I didn’t even expect him to come to see me, I thought that I won’t meet him, at least for a long moment, and seeing him coming out of nowhere and telling me that he loves me makes me feel worse than anything.

- “Maybe you don’t feel the same thing. I understand it but with time ... “. I put my finger on his lips to shut him up. I don’t wanna hear anything anymore and this situation is making me feel uncomfortable. He is so close to my face and his eyes are looking at me so...disturbingly.

- “You’ve changed”. He whispered.

-” What do you mean ? “.

- “You’ve become more beautiful”. I smiled shyly at him not even able to look straight into his eyes. His face is getting more closer and in an instant, he pressed his lips against mine.

Jordan is a handsome boy, he is a football team captain and everybody admires him for many of his qualities. I’ve known him since my childhood and his parents knew mine. He is kind and cool. His smile makes all the girls want him and even boys sometimes. So why on earth, I don’t feel anything when he kisses me? Why do I want to push him and run away from him? If only I could do that but instead, I stayed here, unfaithful to myself and him, and did my best to hide my anger and disgust by participating in the kiss. It’s hard to admit it but I don’t want to hurt him, after all, he did to meet me, I don’t want to lose him again.

-” FUCK ! “. Someone hit hard on a locker and Jordan and I jumped in surprise. When I turned my face to look out for the identity of this mad person, I found my best friend on the floor with his nose bleeding.

- “What did you do, Luke ?! “. I put my hand on my mouth looking at the damage caused by Luke. The way the two boys were looking at each other was petrifying. They wanted to kill each other but before Jordan jumped on Luke, I interposed between them.

- “BOTH OF YOU STOP! “. my scream brought many curious stares but at that time, all I wanted was to stop the two of them before they kill each other.

- “Jordan can you leave, please ?“. He looked at me frowning, not understanding why it was him that I asked to leave.

-” Please “. I begged with my hands. He gave me a susceptible glance then nodded. He glared at Luke before leaving but this one, stared at him coldly like he always does. I felt out of control and I wanted to take it out on the guilty for all this. His cold stare makes him more dangerous than before and I could’ve felt his rage through his jerky breath but this time it won’t work at me, I won’t let him beat me.

- “You know this guy?“. Not only he has the nerve to hit my best friend, but he also dares to ask me if I know him.

- “What’s your problem Luke ? The last time I saw you you told me to leave and now, you come out of nowhere ruining everything!“. Despite my anger, I tried to stay calm and not scream, a lot of people stopped to see what happened and I didn’t want to make another scene even if it’s a little too late.

- “Ruin what ? Your intimate moment with this son of a bitch! You shouldn’t even get close to him !“. This time it’s too much for me, who the hell is he to tell me to not approach Jordan? Does he even know him? my hand suddenly burst on his cheek and I tried so hard to not cry.

- “You know what ?! I’m sick of you. It’s not even a month since I’m here and I already hate you”. Shocked by my words, his stare became sad which made me believe that it hurt him, but it’s too late now, I hate him. I hate him more than anyone and I know that he’s just trying to play with me, this boy is crazy and I have to leave now if I don’t want to burst into tears in front of him.

- “I never want to see you again”. I said harshly then left far away from him without knowing his reaction. I have to talk to someone, I have to free myself from all these emotions and I know the perfect person to.

I walked through the halls looking for Noelle and I found her in a corner talking to her step-brother.

-” How much do you want bitch ?“.

- “Let me think...For not telling your father all the good marks you’ve collected, that I caught you having sex in the girls’ bathroom and the most incredible one is that you slept with your English teacher, I want 150 dollars !“. Wow, her step-brother is a rogue one!

- ” You’re kidding right ?!“. His step-brother arched an eyebrow and I hold myself so hard from laughing.

- “It’s this or I’ll say everything! “. Noelle was going to leave but he stopped her by holding her arm.

- “Ok ...Ok. I’ll give it to you but, if you ever try to come around checking up on my stuff again, I’ll kill you ! “. He gave her a threatening look but Noelle didn’t seem to care.

- “And the pics you took, delete them or you’ll fucking regret it !“. He said with a scary stare and Noelle rolled her eyes.

-” What pictures ? “. Noelle tried to look innocent and he glared at her.

- “Stop playing with my nerves, bitch ! You won’t fuck with me this time. Delete them or I’ll take care of it”. She sighed and took out of her bag her phone to probably delete the photos. I’m not even trying to imagine what kind of things could be in these pictures.

- “You can go now”. Noelle smiled coldly at him and the guy didn’t even take the time to say goodbye to her that he already left in a second. Once he was gone, I put my hand on her shoulder and she jumped out of surprise.

- “Oh Sarah it’s you, you scared me!“. She sighed putting her hand on her chest.

-” Sorry, something happened”. Seeing my serious but desolated expression, she hugged me before dragging me to the cafeteria. I’m not hungry anyway...

************

20 minutes that I speak to Noelle, that I tell her everything. My life, my past, my illness, my parents, Jordan, and even...Luke. She listened to me attentively while devouring her plate of fries and without saying a word, which was not in her habits.

- “Now you know everything about me”. She stared at me for a few seconds then she jumped into my arms.

- “You finally decided to talk to me about yourself, I thought you didn’t trust me”. She said with a happy voice.

- “Noelle! You’re suffocating me ! “. I felt the warmness in her arms and I smiled at the way she’s holding on to me so tightly. This girl is so sweet!

- “Oh sorry”. she said removing her embrace.

“you see, a lot of people here think that I’m only good at talking and I can’t keep anything for myself. So, no one trusts me like ... “.

- “Your step-brother”. I interrupted her.

-” You know him ? “. She asked with a little surprise in her voice.

“I heard your conversation earlier. He doesn’t seem to be a nice guy”. I shrugged.

-” Can’t say otherwise! Since my mother remarried his father, he’s being a real asshole with me. He completely ignores me at home and he comes here, laying down his law by telling everyone that I’m an annoying ball-breaker and that they must avoid me to not end up like me. Of course, I do my best to make his life miserable too”. She laughed referring to the scene and I looked at her half-smiling. So that’s why everyone calls her ball-breaker here...

- “If you hate him that much, why don’t you live with your father ? “.

- “It’s my mother who was given full custody of me, it wasn’t hard since she’s a lawyer and she knows many people in her workplace so my father had no chance to keep me with him. It’s hard enough to go visit him so I can’t even imagine living with him. She keeps saying that he is an incompetent person who can only take care of himself”. She said rolling her eyes.

- “Your mother seems so strict !“. She nodded.

- “She is, but she also has a good heart that’s why I don’t want to upset her”. She stopped suddenly.

- “You know, You along with Ashley are my only true friends”. Noelle looked down at her plate, playing with her forks. I feel disgusted for her. Having a rat for a step-brother who snubs you at home and harasses you in high school doesn’t make me want to be in her place. At the same time, coming from a friend to Luke, his attitude does not surprise me.

- “How did you meet Ashley ?“. I asked curiously.

- ” I know her since I was five, we used to play together when we were young, her father was a great friend of mine’s, he was a soldier who had been reported missing for two years”.

-“Oh!“. I didn’t saw that coming and I can’t hide my surprise when she said that to me. I understand now why Ashley is acting that mysterious.

- “You know Ashley wasn’t like that before, she was a very shy tomboy then, she turned suddenly into a rock girl who always acts like she doesn’t care about anyone but I know her enough to say that she’s not that person she is pretending to be now. Sometimes I don’t even recognize her, she’s changed SO much after she knew her father was missing, she started smoking and going out late. She got away from me a bit, she used to tell me everything, now I know almost nothing about her. She still stays with me, sure but, she spends a lot more time with a bunch of people I find too weird to even approach them”. She confessed sadly looking straight into my eyes.

-“Weird, how ?“. I asked, taking a sip of water and grabbed a bit of rice.

- “I don’t know”. She shrugged, making a clueless face. Maybe she wasn’t even sick today, just an excuse to skip school?

- “I would feel so lonely if you weren’t here”. Noelle smiled faintly at me.

- “Don’t even worry, the ball-breaker and the uptight girl, it must be a hateful pair!” “. Her face brightened with a big smile as she couldn’t contain her laugh. I kissed her cheek, finding her so cute with her lively eyes and her delicate perfume, how can someone hate her?

- “By the way, about Luke, from what I’ve heard, he ain’t a very good person, so don’t get too close to him, okay?“. she said, staring at me with her blue eyes earnestly.

- “Where do you know that from?“. I arched an eyebrow wondering how she can get all this information. She looked down for a moment, trying to keep from smiling, but ended up looking at me laughing.

- “I’m telling you something but promise you won’t repeat it?“. I nodded, raising my eyebrows.

- ”Not Her, it’s me! “. I looked at her with wide eyes, losing my words for a short moment.

- “What ?! Are you the one writing the high school articles ?! “. I almost screamed in surprise. She motioned for me to lower my voice with an amused glint deep in her eyes. Of course, Noelle in french translates as not her.

- “But there’s everyone who wants to know your identity! Why don’t you say it ?! “. I stared at her in amazement and she arched an eyebrow, pointing at herself with her finger.

- “Just imagine what would be the reaction of this moron of Taylor if he learns that it was me who made up the gossip of his castration in my articles?“. I burst out laughing remembering her step-brother’s reaction when the article came out about him, she wrote that her step-brother was neutered at the age of 6 months and he went from class to class to look up for the person responsible for these writings, insulting and threatening that if he figures out who it is, he or she has signed his death warrant.

If he knew this person was living with him under the same roof...

-“At least, the nickname he gave you takes his full sense now”. I noticed and we burst out laughing like crazy kids.

- “True. Did you know that he had to show his hum hum to prove his manhood? “. She said, pressing on the “hum hum” with her fingers. My mouth half-opened before going to another infinite round of laughers. This girl is hilarious!

-” Oh my god!“. I said, wiping my tears of laughter.

-” I swear! They didn’t want to believe him so much that my article was so convincing, I even used my sterile cat’s papers as false evidence and everything”. She confessed giggling.

-“You are crazy! Remind me to Never get in trouble with you!“.

- “Start by eating your fries, I hate when they become cold!“.She said pointing at my plate.

-” I’m not hungry”. I said still smiling from the stories of before. She gave me a surprised look before stealing my plate.

- “Someone is leaving his fries to me for once, I’m not going to complain!“.

-” Hey ! I didn’t leave them to you! Give it back, I changed my mind! “. I don’t know why, but the way she is eating reopened my appetite.

- “Too late darling, shouldn’t have said you were not hungry”. She didn’t even give me time to pick up my plate, that she has already gobbled half of it. Biiiitch!

- “I have three left if you want, babe”. She handed me the plate with a smirk in her mouth.

- “You’re so generous that it makes me want to throw out your secret and share it with everyone, bitch!“. I said, taking two fries with my fork and glaring at her.

- “You won’t dare, you’re too stuck for that”. She said with a smirk, stealing the last fragment from my plate.

- “Thanks to you, I’m full now”. No kidding?

- “Thank goodness! I thought I was going to pass on the menu too”.

-” I don’t eat donkeys, sorry”. She shrugged smiling proudly and I rolled my eyes tired of this childish friend of mine.

- “Noelle, can you wait for me ? It won’t take too long”. I said, getting up from my chair.

- “Where are you going ?“.

-” I have to apologize to Jordan, I’ll be right back”.

-“Okay, I’ll wait for you in class”. She said, sending me a kiss from her seat. I smiled at her and joined quickly the infirmary. After the punch he received from Luke, there’s nowhere else he could be, and as I expected, Jordan was sitting on one of the beds in the infirmary. I slowly walked towards him not wanting to scare him. He turned around to face me and my surprise was great when I saw a huge bruise on his cheek.

- “Jordan, your face...“. He gave me a sad look and he looked down.

- “You shouldn’t be here”. He said coldly looking down.

- “Jordan ... why are you saying that? “. I was looking for his eyes but he kept avoiding me.

- “You know the reason. You chose this guy over me”.

- “What are you talking about ? I don’t understand “. I looked at him worried and he nodded.

- “It’s okay. You could’ve told me that he’s the one you like instead of making a fool out of me !“.

-“Jordan...It’s not what you think”.

-“Sarah, we better not talk to each other again”.

***************

-“He said that to you ?“. Noelle asked amused.

-“Yes, yes he did”, I sighed putting down my head on the table. I feel like I’m at the end of my life and Noelle laughing at me is not helping at all.

-“What’s so funny ?“. I arched an eyebrow.

-“Nothing, it’s just that you told him to leave even if he wasn’t the one who did you wrong”. She tried to hold back her laugh but seeing my desperate face, she ended up bursting into laugher.

-“I told him to leave cause I knew that he would listen to me. If I ever asked the other jerk, he would end up doing the opposite, that’s all! It’s not like I prefer him or something like you and Jordan think”. I crossed my arms and buried my head within, I am exhausted from this situation.

-“Oh it’s okay honey ! Maybe Luke was right to hit him, your friend doesn’t seem so innocent”. She comforted me, putting down, in turn, her head on the table and stroking my shoulder with her hand.

-“How could you say that ?! Jordan didn’t do anything wrong and weren’t you the one who said that Luke was trouble for me ?“. I looked right into her blue eyes, arching an eyebrow and she shrugged.

-“I don’t know honey, maybe this Jordan is more dangerous than Luke, just saying”.

-” What are you talking about ? No one’s more dangerous than Luke”. Now that she mentioned it, Luke said that I shouldn’t get close to Jordan, at that moment, I was angry and didn’t take too much care of what he was saying but now...Why did he say that? Did he know Jordan before? According to how they looked at each other, I could tell that they have been enemies for a while. And even so, Jordan didn’t say anything when Luke hit him, he was just glaring at him like if he was going to kill him. Maybe he was just surprised and didn’t want to make a scene as Luke did.

-“speaking of the wolf...“. I frowned not understanding what she is referring to but when I saw her, looking up for someone, I quickly understood who she was talking about. OH HELL NO!

-“Can you leave us, please ?“. Oh, he’s being polite now? His hoarse voice makes him so manly and I just don’t want to look up to meet his eyes cause I know that he won’t let me be indifferent.

I was expecting Noelle to tell him no and stay with me but when I saw her picking up her things to leave and winked at me as an answer, I understood that she’s the one who pushed me in the claws of the wolf, slut!

My heart leaped as I caught Luke’s green eyes staring coldly at me but before he started anything, I took my stuff and ran out of the classroom.

I stopped, trying to catch my breath, but a powerful body pressed me harder against a wall.

- “No girl made me run as you did”. I could’ve felt his chest on mine, killing me with his lovely smell and I couldn’t make any move since he blocked me with his leg.

- “Tell me, why are you running away from me ? “. I tried to make a move again but I couldn’t.

-“Don’t try to escape, I won’t let you until you answer me !“. He said getting his face closer to mine and I felt my whole body shaking. Oh, God!

- “why would that interest you ? “. I tried to say, avoiding his look.

-” Answer me ! “. He half screamed. Luckily, there is not much time left before classes start so nobody is walking around and I’m grateful for that cause even if what happened before wasn’t unnoticed, seeing me with Luke for the second time won’t help.

- “You hit my best friend while I haven’t seen him for a long time”. I tried to use the same tone as he did, even if I’m disturbed by the way his eyes are trying desperately to join mine.

-” Just for that ? He deserved more than a hit”. As much as I’m trying to get off his embrace, he pressed himself harder against me and I’m doing my best to avoid his persistent look on me even if I’m dying to see the beautiful color that’s hiding in his eyes.

-” I told you, I’m not letting you go unless I want to”. This time, I couldn’t stop my eyes from looking at him, and my heart almost escaped my chest. His eyes wouldn’t stop looking at me and I felt a grueling heat coming up to my cheeks and my whole body burning. The green light in his beautiful iris is still there, and as cold as this boy might be, he’s incredibly attractive and irresistible, and when I felt the tickling of his hand going down gently all along my arm and trying to find my hand, I let it join it like a puzzle that found its missing piece.

" Why did you do that ? What did he do to you ?“. I managed to ask with a low voice.

- ” You don’t know him, he’s not good for you”. Since when he can decide what’s good for me? What does he know about Jordan?

-“And...he kissed you”. He’s so tall and handsome and his lips are getting so close to my face.

-“So what ?“. Why in the world does he care about me and Jordan kissing? Don’t tell me he’s jealous?

- “It is strictly forbidden to kiss in school ! “. I blinked several times at his stupidity. Is he serious? And he’s the one telling me this while he was the first one kissing a girl against my locker? Seeing his serious look, I couldn’t help but smile.

-“That’s it ! You’re more beautiful when you smile”. I looked at him astounded. What’s going on with him so suddenly? Feeling his glowing eyes staring at me again, my heart started beating wildly. Suddenly, his face moved closer and he leaned toward my lips but before reaching them, he stopped abruptly and closed his eyes for a moment, he opened them slowly and looked up at me worried then leaned down to kiss me on the cheek and turned to leave without a word. I caressed my cheek for the umpteenth time. Oh God, what was just happening? Luke wanted to kiss me and the worst thing is that I was truly hoping he would do it...

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