Chapter 16 - Attempt
Gray trails his lips from my collarbone to my neck as he waits for my response. My mouth drops open at the contact, mind going blank as he continues to distract me with his touch. He feels so good. I can’t imagine ever not wanting him on me.
I feel intoxicated by his presence, every cell of my body receptive and desperate for more of him. Lowering my eyelids, I watch him through my lashes as he pulls back and licks his lips, the wet muscle darting out quickly before disappearing behind a wide grin.
“Charlie.” He sings my name, teasing me. “You’re going to need to learn how to see past my lust.”
I blink slowly as he lowers his head again and licks my throat. My back arches at the contact, a choked moan falling from my lips as I inhale even more of his scent. He smells so good.
“Why are you trying to feed me?” He repeats, dropping his right hand to my thigh and pulling it open so he can better slot his hips against me.
Without warning, he grinds up against me, his hardened length stroking my clit through the material of our clothing. I groan in pleasure, eager for more. If this is what feeding him is going to feel like, then it may not end up being as bad as I initially thought.
I’ll hate myself later, sure, but at the moment it feels incredible.
Gray’s sigh sounds almost disappointed as he pulls away, his blackened eyes looking down at me in question. “Answer me, Charlie.”
I don’t want this to stop, and reach up to wrap my arms around his neck in an attempt to keep him from pulling away any further. He laughs at the attempt before grabbing my wrists and pushing my hands into the mattress next to my head.
He presses another quick kiss to the corner of my lips before disconnecting his hips from mine and hovering over me. Unhappy with the distance, I push my pelvis up until it connects with his once more. Gray’s eyes roll back before he shakes his head and hardens his expression.
The sight of his disappointment makes me want to cry.
“Do you want me to fuck you?” He questions, tilting his head slightly to the side. “Think hard before you answer.”
Groaning, I nod my head yes. Gray frowns and tuts, his fingers tightening around where they still hold my wrists down. Why does he think that I wouldn’t want him to fuck me? I want whatever he’s willing to give me.
I’d let him kill me if it meant that I could feel his hands on my body.
Seemingly realizing that he isn’t going to get the answer that he wants, Gray pulls back and rolls off of me. I cry out at his departure, agonized by the loss.
Unwilling to be rejected, I roll over and grab at his chest before trying to throw myself on top of him. He grunts as my knee accidentally makes contact with his manhood, but quickly forgets about it as he dodges my attack and rolls off the bed.
“Charlie, relax.” He murmurs when I start to tear up. “Just give yourself a couple of seconds to calm down. I’ve accidentally gotten you too high.”
I hardly pay any attention to his words as I watch him walk over to the bathroom door. He faces away from me as he drops his head against the wooden surface, his hands clenching and unclenching by his sides as his back expands with each deep breath he takes.
“You’re so fucking tempting.” He moans, spinning around to face me before leaning back against the door.
My pulse begins to slow as I watch him attempt to calm himself down on the opposite of the room. The distance helps me see past his essense, my cheeks warming as the shame of my actions hits me.
What the fuck did I just do?
“Do you feel better?” Gray asks after a couple seconds of silence.
I nod, dropping my gaze to the floor as I tentatively slide myself off of his bed. Despite my regret, I still need him to take me. Alexander will send me away if he doesn’t.
A small part of me is worried that I’ve ruined my chance, but I remind myself that Gray is an Incubus and it would be unlikely for him to say no to sex.
It would go against everything that he is.
Sucking in a deep breath, I shift my weight from foot to foot before tentatively taking a step towards Gray. His eyes narrow as I approach, but he makes no moves to stop me as I hurry up to him.
“Why are you trying to feed me?” He probes.
I shrug, unsure what to say. Will he turn me away if I tell him that it’s because of Alexander’s threats? I know that he won’t believe me if I tell him that it’s because I genuinely want him.
My jaw clenches as I think of the best reasoning I can share.
“I just want to get it over with.” I state.
Gray laughs before shaking his head. Reaching forward, he pushes a piece of hair out of my face and tucks it behind my ear. I try not to feel flattered at the kind action. That’s something that I thought only happened in the books that I read.
“You’re lying.” He whispers.
I’m sure my face is flaming as he calls me out. Why does he even care why I’m trying to do this? It’s the only reason he bought me in the first place.
Gray frowns as he watches me, his expression mirroring mine. His eyes slip shut as he leans forward and sniffs my hair as Alexander did earlier, but thankfully, unlike his counterpart, he doesn’t follow up the action with a painful shove.
“Did Alex say something to you?” He asks as he pulls away.
I clench my jaw shut and shrug, both answering and unanswering his question. Gray watches my reaction closely, his shoulders dropping as he grabs my waist and gently pulls me into his chest. I tense up as he wraps his arms around my body in a hug, uncomfortable with the intimacy.
I’m trying to get fucked, not coddled.
“I suspect that you’re not going to share with me what he said, but I can promise you that it wasn’t the truth. He’s not going to hurt you.” Gray promises. “Despite your very persuasive attempt, I’m not going to be fucking you until it’s your decision.”
No part of me believes him, but I don’t argue it. Alexander gave me until lunch to have Gray in my bed, so I will try again later. There’s no way I’m letting him send me to an Incubi den.
Gray’s hand rubs over my back before he releases me altogether and steps away. I try not to lean into him as he disconnects himself, my eyes fluttering shut for a quick moment as I try to breathe in his essense one more time.
Why is he making this so complicated? I was under the impression that he would happily take me to his bed. He’s an Incubus, for fucks sake.
“I have something to show you!” He speaks up, excitement clear in his voice as he gestures to the bathroom door.
I look between him and the door in question, unsure what he would have put in there that he’s so excited about. His smirk widens as he moves forward and pulls it open, his back straightening up as he hurries through the bathroom and into my connecting bedroom.
Gulping, I follow him into the bedroom, my eyes locked on his back the entire time. What did he do?
Gray turns and gestures around as I enter, his attention zeroed in on my face as I turn away and look around. My mouth goes dry as I spot the trinkets on the dresser, and my eyes well up as I notice the photo frames hung up along the wall above it. Wiping away the wetness, I turn and continue to observe all my items that clutter the space.
Are these all mine? How did Gray get these?
“I went to your home and shifted back all your things.” He proudly states before chuckling. “You’re a bit of a packrat.”
I let out an abrupt laugh as he says this. My father loved to call me the same thing, following up his insult with the demand that I clean my room.
The thought of him has my smile falling. Turning, I look back at the family photos Gray hung up and slowly walk over to them. Holding back my pain, I allow myself to examine my father’s image, my eyes tracing over the thin lines on his forehead before sliding down to where his arms wrap around my mother and me.
He was so scared to have these photos taken, worried that they would fall into the wrong hands and expose my existence. It took my mother and me months to convince him that it was okay to take them, and that we would keep them safely tucked away from any prying eyes.
I thought that I’d never see them again after I was taken. In fact, I was convinced that I would never have the opportunity to see any of my belongings.
Gray’s footsteps are quiet as he walks over, his movements pausing once he is directly behind me. He remains silent as he watches me examine the photos.
“My parents?” I question after a couple of seconds.
I hear a pained sigh before hands are placed gently on the tops of my shoulders.
“I don’t know about your mother, but your father,” Gray pauses and tucks my hair behind my ear again. His fingers linger against the thin skin, stroking it softly before he drops his hand back down to my shoulder. “He has been buried in the human tradition.”
My bottom lip quivers, but I refuse to allow myself to cry. I’ve known deep down that my father has been dead this entire time. His body was so still on the floor when I was taken, and the blood below him was too great to be the result of a minor injury.
Hatred for the Seekers grows inside of me as I recall the sight of him. They didn’t know a damn thing about who he was, yet killed him as if his life meant nothing. I suppose to them it did.
“Did you bury him?” I question, knowing that the Seekers would never take the time to do so.
God forbid they show any sort of respect towards the people who’s life they unmercifully uproot and ruin.
It’s possible that one of his co-workers stopped by to show respect, but I doubt that they would care enough to make the trip. If anything, they were probably enraged after learning that he had been hiding a female for the past twenty-something years.
Gray clears his throat. “I did.”
I remain silent, lost in thought.
“Are you upset by that? I didn’t think that you would want him left in the house.” He continues. “He’s buried next to the garden in the backyard.” Gray further explains, his fingers rubbing gentle circles into the bruised skin on my shoulders.
I mindlessly nod, overwhelmed with the pain of having confirmation of my father’s death and feeling relieved that at least his body was taken care of. Without thinking, I turn and throw my arms around Gray’s waist.
He returns the hug immediately, squeezing me to his bare chest. I try not to get distracted by the feeling of his hard flesh pressing against my cheek or the lingering essense from my attempts to bed him earlier.
Gray kisses the top of my head as he holds me to him, but I’m too grateful for his kind actions that I don’t mind it.
“I’m not the bad guy that you think I am.” He whispers into my hair.
I squeeze him slightly, unsure how I feel about him now. No part of me believes that he is as kind and genuine as he wants me to think he is, but I’m willing to admit that he might not be as bad as I initially thought.
It’s evident that he is making a genuine attempt to give me a better life than most females are granted. If it weren’t for Alexander’s painful threats, I imagine that I could potentially find myself happy in this house.
Gray continues to hold me for a moment longer before gently pushing me back towards my bed. My pulse picks up as the backs of my thighs make contact with the mattress. Is he going to take me now? I know that it needs to happen today, but I’d like to have some time to decompress before getting into action.
“Relax, Charlie.” Gray says as he softly pushes me down into a sitting position. “I’m going to go talk to Alex. You can stay up here as long as you want, and I’ll come up in a bit to check on you.”
I nod, grateful.
Gray looks me over with a sad expression before turning and leaving through my bedroom door. I stare at the wood for a long while after he goes, waiting patiently for him to come back in and tell me that this is all some elaborate trick and that I’m a fool for falling for it.
When he doesn’t come back, I fall back against the mattress and let a few tears escape me. I used to pride myself on keeping my emotions contained tightly inside, but these past few days have broken down that mental resolve.
I can’t believe that Gray brought all of my things here. Standing, I hesitantly walk over to my dresser and begin to sift through the items. Everything I own was a gift from either my mother or father, and each trinket sends me into a downward spiral of painful memories.
I wonder if Gray would be able to find my mother for me. I know that it would be too much to ask him to buy her, especially since she probably isn’t even eligible for sale, but I would be content just knowing where she is and whether or not she is safe.
She’s the only family I have left.
My hands shake as I begin to move the items around and decorate. I feel like a fraud as I set up the room and find homes for my things. It’s wrong for me to be getting so comfortable here, especially when I know that they will be sending me away soon.
Alexander is probably telling Gray right now that he has to get rid of me. That either I feed him or am sent away. I doubt that Gray will be able to change Alexander’s decision on the Incubi den, and hope that he will let me feed him when he comes back to check in on me.
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