Chapter 34 - Females
My reflection stares back at me with disappointment, but I force myself to look at it anyway. My father would blow a casket if he saw what my life has become. All he ever wanted was for me to stand tall and be safe, yet my life couldn’t have gone any further in the opposite direction.
Here I am, his only daughter, screwing around with an Incubus while simultaneously considering the possibility of trying to seduce two other powerful Demons. I’m slightly embarrassed about how much the idea of that intrigues me, but I shove that desire deep down inside my body.
Gray may be a beaming light of optimism, but the harsh reality is that Aziel has been gone for more time than he’s been here and Silas has made his disinterest quite clear.
I frown, watching as my image in the mirror copies the action. I can’t hide in my office forever, and at some point am going to have to pull on my big girl panties and leave. I’m sure by now my smell of my arousal has dissipated, but I still worry Silas overheard what Gray was saying to me earlier.
These men have impeccably good hearing and a startling lack of privacy.
With one final deep breath, I grab the books I borrowed from Silas and begin my journey to the library. I’m going to have to face him at some point, and might as well get it over with now.
Maybe he’ll be feeling generous and won’t mention anything.
Gray stares from behind his desk as I come shuffling out of my office, his dark eyes boring holes into mine as he watches my every movement. I bite my bottom lip before nodding in his direction, silently communicating that I’m okay.
The corner of his lip twitches upward at the gesture, his tense posture softening as he returns the nod.
One down, one more to go.
I can’t decide whether or not I hope Silas is in the library as I rush toward it. Thirty minutes ago I would’ve been glad to run into him and launch a thousand probing questions in his direction, but after what happened with Gray, I’m dreading the moment when we are face to face.
The books are surprisingly heavy as I waddle down the hallway, each step feeling like an added weight in my arms as I try to get there without dropping any. They should really invest in some thinner paper and lighter binding.
I’m on the verge of losing my grip as I bust through the doors, my eyes immediately locking with Silas’s in a silent plea for help. He grimaces and is pulling them out of my arms before I even have the chance to blink, the sudden movement startling.
“It wouldn’t have killed you to take two trips or ask one of us for help.” Silas chuckles as he collects them from me.
He doesn’t appear to struggle at all as he holds them in his arm, and I frown at the sight. He could at least pretend they’re heavy for my sake. I shake out my limbs as he grabs the last one, my muscles feeling a bit like jello.
“I made it all the way here, didn’t I?” I retort.
“Barely.” He laughs, his gaze dropping to the books as he readjusts them in his grasp. “Did you find what you were looking for?”
My jaw clenches at his question, already knowing he knows the answer. I still can’t help but feel like there’s something they’re hiding from me, and the more they keep it a secret, the more desperate I am to know what it is.
“I did not.” I state, my frustration audible as I let out a quiet sigh. “Are you sure there isn’t anything you want to tell me?” I ask again, hoping he’ll take pity on me and share the truth.
Silas doesn’t respond, choosing instead to purse his lips and turn away. I scowl, my irritation growing as he heads down the aisle where he grabbed the books from earlier this week. I remain silent as I follow him, my footsteps loud despite my best attempts at stealth.
Maybe I should start going barefoot around this place. I feel like I could be really sneaky without the clunkiness of shoes.
Gray’s earlier words weasel their way into my head as I walk behind Silas, and for a brief moment I wonder if I could seduce Silas into telling me the truth. Gray seems to think so.
Gray thinks that about everybody, though.
“I like your determination.” Silas speaks up as he comes to a halt at the end of the row.
I watch as he lifts the books and carefully slides them back into place. His gentleness with them is surprising, and I find myself admiring how calm he is in comparison to the other two Demons.
Even when Gray tries to be soft and caring, there’s an edge to him that he can never seem to erase. It doesn’t feel nearly as threatening as it did when I was first bought, and I wonder if I’ll ever be able to figure out where it stems from. It would be nice to see Gray in a place where he can relax entirely.
I’ll see if I can get him in the bath. Those are always so calming for me, and I bet that they would be for him too.
“I like your temperament.” I quietly return the compliment.
Silas turns towards me in surprise, his eyes widening for a fraction of a second before he’s back to his usual unaffected, collected self. My face flushes at his reaction, unsure if I said something that I shouldn’t have.
His eyes shut and head tilts back as I drop my gaze to his shins. I should’ve just accepted the compliment and moved on. He’s not going to tell me anything, and I need to stop letting Gray’s whispered words get to my head.
Silas cares for me only as a friend or annoying younger sibling, and I need to get that fact through my thick skull.
“Okay,” Silas mumbles.
My head snaps up at the sound of his voice, and I stare at him in question as he gestures for me to head to the chairs in the corner of the room. I try to contain my excitement as I rush over to them. Is this it? Is he really going to tell me the truth about what’s going on with the Demon females?
Silas follows behind as I throw myself down in the closest oversized chair and wait impatiently for him to sit and get comfortable. He takes his sweet time doing so, his movements slow and leisurely.
“This is private information, but since I don’t expect you to be leaving our sights any time soon, I’ll tell you the truth.” He starts, his lips twitching upward as I lean forward in suspense.
This is it. This is really it. My feet tap impatiently against the ground as I wait for him to continue, a scowl growing on my face when he doesn’t move at the pace I want him to.
“When the female decline first started, we were affected just as much as the other breeds and resorted to the same, desperate measures most other realms were taking. Nothing seemed to work, and everything we tried only appeared to make the problem worse. A while ago we discovered a couple living in Wrath’s kingdom that had given birth to six females.” Silas admits.
I gasp, my eyes growing wide in shock and horror. Six females? There’s absolutely no way. I couldn’t imagine going through the pain of having six daughters ripped away from me, and can’t believe that they continued after the first.
Where I’m from, most families decide to stop having children after the first female is born and taken by the Seekers. My mother took it upon herself to get sterilized after I was born, and taught me at a young age how to do the same to myself should I ever need to.
The procedure was risky and done at home to keep others from finding out, but she claims it was a necessary precaution.
Silas seems to sense where my dread is stemming from as he frowns and shakes his head.
“We don’t take females away from their families here. Even at the worst of times, they were allowed to grow under their parent’s care until they were eighteen.” He’s quick to explain. “At eighteen, they were given the option to choose a man or undergo insemination.”
My shoulders sag in relief, and I nod for him to continue.
“The couple agreed to have some testing done. We wanted to see what was happening in her body that was different from other females. It took a while, but we discovered that the female body has developed to reject all sperm with X chromosomes if there’s not enough oxytocin in her system.” Silas finally explains. “Oxytocin is produced in response to welcome physical touch, so basically the more males abused the females, the less they produced.”
I’m sure I look like a fool as I stare at him with wide eyes and a gaping mouth, but I don’t care. They truly know the cause for the female decline? This is nothing short of amazing.
“Why didn’t you want to tell me earlier? And why aren’t people treating their females better if they know this is the cause? When did you figure this out?” I ask at a rapid-fire pace.
My mind continues to reel as Silas grimaces and turns away from me.
“Only the Wraths know right now. We found out a little bit ago.” He explains.
Before I can think better of it, I jump out of my chair and launch myself into Silas’s lap. He grunts as my knee makes painful contact with his thigh, but doesn’t push me away as I wrap my arms around his body and pull him into a tight hug.
This is going to change everything. When people find out about this, they’ll have no choice but to start treating their females better. We can work to get our rights back again, and maybe even see a world where we pick our males instead of being sold at auction.
In only a couple of years, we could have a boom in females again. I could find my mother, and we won’t have to hide and cower under the painful tempers of men. I won’t have to live in fear of delivering a female and will never have to sterilize myself should I find myself unlucky enough to create one.
Silas accepts my hug with a quiet sigh, his lips tugging downward at the corners as I pull back to look up at him. Our faces are only inches apart, but I’m so full of excitement that I can hardly find it within myself to care.
“This is going to change everything!” I happily shout, my body practically vibrating with sheer delight.
I still don’t understand why they wanted to keep this from me, but figure Gray wanted to wait until I get adjusted to the new life before telling me the truth. He’s probably scared that I’ll choose to leave him and pick another male after hearing it, which is understandable. I’ll make sure to assure him later today that I have no intentions to do that.
No longer will I be some sought after, rare treasure. I’ll just be a person. Nothing special and nothing unordinary. Nobody will fight over or try to steal me. I won’t have to fear being alone with a man who isn’t my family and will live to see relationships just like the ones in the books I read.
My eyes fill with tears as I think over the possibilities, and my jaw grows sore from how hard I’m grinning. This is the greatest day of my life.
Silas opens his mouth to respond, but before he can get any words out I’m throwing caution to the wind and slamming my mouth down on his.
He freezes as our lips make contact, his hands darting to my hips to hold me steady as I press our chests together and force my tongue into his mouth. His grip tightens as I wrap my arms around his neck and hold him tightly against me, my current happiness outweighing the fear and insecurity I have surrounding him.
I want him, and I want Gray, and maybe the Incubus is right in his claims that I would be happy as their female.
It takes only a couple of moments for Silas to return the kiss, a muffled groan slipping out of his mouth as he slides his hands from my hips down to my thighs before curling them around and grabbing my ass.
His grip is surprisingly hard considering how gentle he tends to be, and I can’t hold back the moan that slips from my lips at the force of it. I know that Silas likes his women to dominate him, but have very limited knowledge of what that entails.
Wrapping my arms around his head, I slip my fingers up the nape of his neck until they’re buried deep in his hair. He doesn’t react much to it, and with a silent prayer that Gray wasn’t just messing with me earlier, I close my fist around the strands and yank his head back.
Knowing the strength differences between our breeds, I pull his hair as hard as I can in the hopes that it’s enough for him. I don’t know that the expectation is here, but I assume that if he wants his hair pulled that he wants it to hurt.
Silas winces as he exposes his neck to me, and I take the throaty moan he releases as a good sign as I bring my mouth to his ear and lick the skin as Gray has done to me a small handful of times.
“Good boy.” I murmur.
Silas IS a good boy and I won’t be told otherwise
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