Chapter 48 - Fate
“Come on, Charlie.” Silas mutters, rounding the corner of my office. His eyes flicker around the dark room before landing on me. “It’s time for bed.”
I blink my heavy eyelids and straighten my back before shaking my head. Despite my anger, I want to be here and awake when Gray gets home. His fight with Aziel was hard to watch, and I’m sure he’s going to be in a state when he gets home. I want to show him my support, and falling asleep is doing the exact opposite.
Silas steps inside and leans his shoulder against the doorway. Nobody’s forcing him to stay awake with me, and I’ve told him many times that he’s free to go to bed if he’s tired.
“Shay’s gone. It’s safe to leave me alone.” I state, resting my elbows on the desk before dropping my face into my hands.
The last time Silas came in he turned off the overhead lighting and left me in the dark. I cursed him out as he walked away, thought about getting up to turn them back on, but ultimately was too lazy. It was a transparent attempt to get me to fall asleep, but I’m not going to let him win.
My eyes flutter shut as I give them a moment of rest, wanting just a few seconds of darkness. Each minute feels as slow as an hour, my mind racing with the possibilities of what Gray and Aziel are doing right now.
I hope they aren’t fighting. From what I’ve gathered, Silas is known to be one of the stronger Demons, and if he struggles to break the Incubus and Wrath apart, I don’t think anybody else will be able to. If they get into it there’ll be nobody to stop them.
“What would happen to Aziel if Gray died?” I ask.
Silas’s sigh is loud and full of annoyance, but I don’t care. There’s silence for a long moment as he ignores me, but eventually I hear his footsteps nearing. I don’t bother looking up, too busy resting my eyes.
“Aziel would never kill Gray. They’re bonded.” Silas finally answers.
I hum, not quite content with that response but too tired to probe further. My body jerks upright as the sudden feeling of falling takes over my mind, and I blink sleepily at Silas as he grabs my arms and pulls me out of my chair.
Groaning, I shove at his chest, unhappy with the manhandling.
“Go away, Silas.” I mutter.
He ignores my order, hoisting me over his shoulder with ease before stomping toward the door. I hiss in pain, his shoulder digging into my belly, and shove my hands against his back.
I slam my fist into the base of his spine.
I slam my fist into his kidney.
I slip my fingers into his hair and yank the strands back.
This seems to get his attention as he grunts and throws me further behind him. I shriek as my face slams into his butt, and grab blindly at his calves in an attempt to stop his walking. The blood rushing to my head makes me dizzy, and my anger grows each time my face smashes into the backs of his thighs.
I have half a mind to grab the rock that dangles in front of my mouth and slam it into his butt, but fear of him dropping or falling on top of me prevents me from doing so.
“Gray will find you when he gets back.” Silas calmly states, speaking as if he’s not holding my ankles over his shoulders and forcing me up the stairs.
I reach hopelessly for the stairwell railing, grunting as my sweaty palm wraps around the wood and catches on the metal that screws it into the wall. Silas comes to a halt, but doesn’t release me.
“I’m going to continue walking in three seconds. You can keep holding that pole and rip open your hand on the metal, or you can let it go and make it upstairs with your skin intact.” He remarks.
I huff, tightening my grip.
My jaw clenches shut, and I glare at the railing as if it’s personally offended me.
I release the damn thing, my body sagging against his back as he continues walking. My fingertips drag against the floor as he carries me upstairs, his movements relaxed and rhythmic. I hate Silas.
“You’re not my keeper.” I mumble, knowing he can hear me despite my quiet words.
Silas doesn’t respond, not that I expect him to, and continues forward. My head perks up as I realize that he’s not leading me down Gray and my’s wing, and I search around in a panic as he carries me down his own instead.
What’s he doing? He’s out of his mind if he thinks I’m going to be sleeping with him tonight. I can feel my pulse pick up as he turns into what I assume is his bedroom and drops me on the bed. My arms flail around as I spin and try to orient myself, my brain a bit fuzzy after being upside down for so long.
I open my mouth to complain, but freeze as Silas turns away and pulls off his shirt. The muscles on his back flex as he tosses it in the direction of his hamper, the fabric landing smoothly inside of it despite his halfhearted throw.
“Do you like to sleep in long pajamas or short ones?” He asks, pulling open his drawers.
I clear my throat.
“Short. Why are we in your room?” I respond, sliding to the edge of his bed and tiptoeing off.
I take one step toward the door, hoping that he won’t notice and I can sneak out to my room. As much as I trust and am comfortable around Silas, I don’t think sleeping in the same bed with him is the proper thing to do right now.
“It’s only you and me right now, and I don’t trust Shay not to sneak in and try to take you while I’m sleeping.” He says, turning and tossing some clothes at me.
I fumble to catch them, my cheeks reddening as I realize he’s thrown me a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. The fabric is soft, but the thought of wearing his things to bed feels strangely intimate and I don’t want to get my feelings hurt again by reading into these things.
“I have pajamas in my room.” I grumble, clutching the items to my chest. “Don’t you have another bedroom in the wing? Like Gray does?”
Silas purses his lips before shaking his head.
“No, and we could have gotten your pajamas if you weren’t being so damn grumpy and argumentative. Now I’m mad, and tired, so you’re going to wear those.” He crudely states, his hands dropping to the button of his pants.
I’m sure my face is as red as a tomato as I avert my gaze. The unmistakable sound of a zipper being pulled down echoes throughout the room, and I stare up at the ceiling as fabric shifts and lands softly on the ground. Silas snorts, and I watch as his shadow moves past me and into the bed.
“Can’t you just sleep in Gray’s bed? Then I can sleep in my own?” I try.
“No, Charlie. I’m exhausted, so will you please stop being so fussy and come to bed. You can stay on your side and I’ll stay on mine.” He practically begs.
I shake my head, refusing.
“Gray won’t like that.” I murmur, turning to look at him.
Silas lays on his back, the sheets pulled up to the center of his chest. My eyes dart down to the smatterings of hair that cover his skin before I can think better of it, and I scowl as a satisfied smirk spreads across his lips in response.
“We both know that Gray will be delighted to hear I’ve brought you to my bed. He could walk in on the middle of me fucking you and would happily sit in the chair over there and wait for us to finish.” Silas snaps, sitting up and pointing to the spot next to him on the bed. “Now get in the fucking bed before I tie you to the damn thing. You’re acting like a right brat tonight.”
My chin dimples as I glare at him, and I step forward and angrily shove his clothing onto the mattress before yanking off mine. His eyes bore holes into my own as I rip my shirt and sports bra off, his gaze never once dropping below my chin as I throw his shirt on and repeat the action with the bottoms.
“Hamper.” He orders as I move to crawl into bed.
I smash my teeth together and stomp my things over to the laundry basket. He watches as I throw my clothes inside and walk back over, a satisfied smirk playing on his lips at my silent fury.
“You’re a prick.” I snap as he continues his wordless gloating.
I’m sure that when tomorrow comes and I’m no longer stuck so tired and grumpy, I’ll regret my words, but I feel nothing close to that right now as I rip back the covers and climb onto his bed.
He rolls over and turns off the bedside lamp as I settle, and I turn and do the same with my own.
I can practically hear my heart beating as we lay next to one another in the dark, neither one of so much as moving an inch. My fingers twitch as I fight the urge to wiggle around and find the most comfortable position. The more I resist the more I want to fidget, the feeling growing until I can’t hold back any longer and start to shift around.
Silas remains silent as I adjust myself every few seconds, but lets out a quiet sigh when thirty minutes pass and I don’t stop.
“What’s bothering you?” He asks, his voice thick with sleep.
I swallow around the lump in my throat and shrug.
The blankets make noise as he rolls over to face me. I can’t see him in the dark, but I can feel his breath hitting the side of my face as he stares at me. He can probably see clear as day in the dark, and I desperately hope that he doesn’t notice the wetness on my cheeks.
I feel stupid for crying. It feels like all I do lately.
Goosebumps rise along my arm as Silas reaches out and runs his fingertips across it. I don’t pull away as he slides his hand across my stomach and curls it around my hip.
“Do you want to know your mother’s fate?” He whispers.
At that I turn to face him, my eyes desperately trying to adjust to see his face. I can’t make out anything other than the slope of a nose and what I think is a jawline.
“It might not make you happy, but it’s not bad.” He warns, his voice oddly warm despite his earlier annoyance with me. “Fates are secret. You can’t tell anybody or it might hurt the balance.”
Why would her fate not make me happy? Will he get in trouble for telling me? Silas’s hand on my waist tightens before pulling me in. I gulp as my body is slid close to his, my shoulder meeting the center of his chest before he stops.
Is he cuddling with me because he wants to or feels bad for me? I don’t like the idea of him touching me only out of pity, and move to pull away before being stopped by an arm dropping down on my chest. Silas holds me firmly to him as he entwines our legs together, and I release in a shaky breath as I force myself to relax.
This doesn’t mean anything. Silas has made his disinterest in me quite clear, and I’m not going to get my hopes up again only to be let down in the future.
“Tell me.” I state.
Fingers trail over my collarbone, and for a moment I forget how to breathe.
“She spends a long time in the facility. I don’t know why, and I can’t see if you two have any interaction because I can’t see your fate, but she’s not unhappy there. She leaves, ends up in another realm. I can’t tell which one, but there’s a lot of snow and trees.” His voice grows quiet, and he clears his throat to wake himself back up. ”There’s a man. He’s not a Human. Elven, maybe. They share the same aura, which can mean many things, but given that they are, well, intimate, I would take that to mean that they are bonded. She looks happy.”
Silas’s lips brush against my shoulder as he speaks, and I find myself curling up into his body as hope blossoms within me. It breaks my heart that she will love another that isn’t my father, but I don’t care as long as she’s happy.
“There are large chunks of her life I can’t see, which I’m taking to mean that you are in it.” He says.
“Why can’t you see my fate?” I probe, hoping that in his sleepy state he’ll let spill something that I know he’s been purposefully keeping from me.
Silas smacks his mouth, and curls his arm further around my body. His fingers slip under my shirt and press against my skin. I try not to react to it.
“Because I can’t see my own. You and I are too close for the fates to let me see it.” He remarks. “Can’t see Gray or Aziel’s either.”
I hum, but don’t probe any further. I suppose I should take it as a good sign that he can’t see it. That means that Gray isn’t going to get rid of me.
“I’m tired, Charlie.” He mumbles.
“Then go to sleep.” I chuckle, not understanding why he feels the need to force himself awake.
Silas grunts and releases a deep sigh, his breath warm as it fans over my neck and shoulder. I turn my head toward him, wishing I could see his face, before rolling over and pressing my back against his front. He seems content with the change in position as he forms his body around mine.
“You’ll stay, right? You won’t leave in the middle of the night? I’m a deep sleeper.” He admits, his arm tightening around me.
I shake my head, letting out a silent breath.
In all honesty I don’t like to sleep alone, and Silas’s presence is familiar and comforting. I may wake up tomorrow morning and regret this, but right now, the thought of him holding me through the night fills me with warmth. My feelings for him haven’t vanished despite my best attempts to keep them hidden, and when he holds me so close and whispers such nice things in my ear, I struggle to keep them locked up inside.
“I won’t leave.” I promise, my words met with a quiet snore.
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