DONOVAN Chapter 30
My hands were clammy and my thoughts were bringing all the worst-case scenarios. Will they laugh at me? Will I get drinks thrown in my face? Will I disappoint fans? And my worst nightmare, will I disappoint my parents. My mom is lovely but my dad was always strict with me about sports. I just hope my decision doesn't end up in a disaster.
"Yeah, I think I'm ready," I gulped down a water bottle and took a deep breath. "I'm worried about what your parents will think of me?" Grace's dad wasn't thrilled for his daughter to marry me. He thought I was a playboy but little did he know it wasn't even like that.
"Don't worry about them, my dad will get over it and my mom loves you regardless," her gray eyes twinkled like stars. Any man will be lucky to have her, she's a beautiful soul and I hope that after this she finds someone to love her unconditionally. "I am going to miss you though. Our movies nights, our shopping, and those late-night conversations," I could see her eyes fill with water. Fuck, I feel awful for dragging her into my double life. Even though we love each other as friends, there is love and it's fucken hurting right now.
"Hey, hey, you don't have to move or do anything. We can still be roommates and do all those stuff. I still want you in my life, Grace," I grazed her cheek with the back of her finger when the door opened.
"Ohh I'm sorry. I should've knocked," Amy put her hand over her mouth.
"It's ok. We were just talking," my heart was hammering in my chest. My fingers trembled and my stomach stomped like wild bulls.
"It's time," Amy gave me a faint smile. I squeezed Grace's hand.
"I'll be on the side. Cheering you on."
I kissed her forehead as I followed Amy to the press conference. It was just basic questionnaires and what the team planned for the new season. I'll see what happens after the conference finishes. I sat down with some other teammates. Bradley and Fernando nodded my way. They were my two good friends on the team and I sure hope they see me the same way after this.
We all answered questions about life and what it means to be honest, that question was hard for me because I wasn't being honest for years. So I had to lie and swallow the guilt.
"Any other questions?" Amy asked. A young woman stood up.
"Yes, I have one. Donovan, when are we going to see babies from you?" the blood from my face disappeared and my hands got clammy. I noticed from my peripheral view that Bradley had a smirk on his face. It's now or never. I glanced to Amy who gave me a sympathetic gaze.
I took a deep breath. "To answer your question. I'm not planning to have babies anytime soon. I have something to tell everyone and it's a hard choice. I hope everyone will see me the same way. I'm still Donovan Graystone but I have a little secret," I noticed all the reporters grabbing their notepads. Cellphones weren't allowed. "I'm gay. I've always been and my marriage was a cover-up," chattering picked up and pens were quickly being moved on notepads.
I glanced at Bradley and Fernando. They both were shocked but a curve on their lips told me they accepted me. My eyes filled with water as I glanced backstage and saw Grace with a napkin in her hands. She waved at me as I focused back at everyone's stunned gaze.
"I'm sure everyone has questions but my publicist will answer them," the team had to get going to our yearly trip to county jail. We spend time with the inmates and talk to them. We get to know them and give them life advice. We've done it a couple of times and it's a rush of accomplishment that fills us with pride.
"Donovan, why cover it up?"
"Don, what does Grace say about all this?"
"Donovan, are you afraid you'll lose fans?"
I stood up as my publicist stayed behind. I wanted to answer those questions but the media loves twisting words and Amy was great with words. We walked backstage as I grabbed Grace's hand. "Don, hold up man," Bradley came running behind me. "Why keep a secret from us? We are your brothers? Family?" My eyes filled with tears but I swallowed them back. I didn't want to get emotional but I was going to talk to them.
"You don't dislike me?" I asked.
"Hell nah, man. If you like men, it's cool. I don't judge man. You're a great friend and player. Fuck whoever wants to judge you. Fernando kind of knew something was off in your marriage but in the end, it's none of our business. You're our brother and brothers stick together," He pulled me into a hug as Grace joined us. She giggled and that's when my fear subsided. It was like fresh air, a new beginning. Now, let's hope how my parents take the news.
We walked through security and into a huge white room that had white tables and chairs. There were books and games. You wouldn't believe how many of these inmates couldn't read, some have been here since they were teenagers. We would help them read or we would have fun playing games. We even had lunch with them. Some were scary looking but deep inside they weren't all that bad. They screwed up and they know it.
Bradley and Fernando sat next to me and the other team members sat at other tables. Thank god all my teammates didn't give a crap about coming out, even coach gave me a huge hug. They made gay jokes but it lightened up the group. It made us stronger as a team and I was forever grateful.
My phone started ringing again as I glanced at the screen. It was my dad. It was the fifth call today after the press conference. I didn't want to hear it so I turned off my phone. Bradley had glanced over. "Your dad giving you shit?"
"Yeah, man. Well, I haven't heard it but I know he's going to be an earful."
The doors opened and all the inmates came in with their bright orange suits. Their hands were cuffed as they lined up before they were released to spend time with us. Some glared at us with intimidation and others had a blank gaze in their eyes. My eyes fell on one guy. His eyes beamed towards me. He clenched his jaw as he cracked his neck. He looked familiar like someone I knew. I also couldn't keep my eyes off his biceps, those things were huge and toned. He had dark circles under his eyes but that gave him an edge. Who does he look like? That's going to aggravate me until I figure out who he looks like.
The guards released their cuffs as they split up and found some of us to join them. "Wipe that drool off your face," Bradley whispered in my ear as he stood up and went to an older man who sat by himself. Fernando joined some scary dude with a scar on his right eye. He was good-looking as well. I noticed biceps was still standing by himself. He hasn't joined anyone as he looked around. I stood up as my hands trembled. Why was I eyeing a guy in jail? Well, you find him attractive that's why Don. Ok, I need to get a grip.
"Hey," I lifted my arm to shake his hand. His molten gray eyes gazed at me. He studied me up and down. He didn't say anything as he lifted his arm and gripped mine. He squeezed it hard. I almost lost blood from how hard he gripped my hand. Then I noticed a curve on the corner of his lips. Damn sexy.
He leaned close to the shell of my ear and whispered. "Do you usually check guys out?" His voice was husky and deep. Fuck me, my cock twitched as his cool minty breath grazed on my ear.
He let my hand go as the rush of blood tingled back to my hand. "Hmm..," he moved his head and walked towards an empty table in the corner. I sat first and swallowed hard. He sat in front of me and noticed the curve of muscle exposed from the middle of his orange shirt.
"You really need to not make it so obvious that you're checking me out," he chuckled as my mouth went dry. I scratched the back of my neck. I have never felt this nervous before. "But it must be new for you. I saw you came out today, it's pretty cool, man." He averted his gray eyes as he gazed at the window. The light peacefully grazed his face.
"Thanks, it's kind of new but it isn't. It's complicated right now," his eyes shot back at me. I noticed a pain that swirled in those molten silver eyes of his.
"So don't make it complicated, just be yourself. I know I haven't been honest with myself either," his words were stern but I could sense something was hurting him.
"How long have you been here?"
"1 year and some months. I'll be out by March or April," I noticed a light in his eyes. Then I gazed at his perfect features. A long slender nose, hooded eyes, and full lips that were making me want to taste them, a strong jawline, and those galactic gray eyes that has me mesmerized.
"You look so familiar, what is your name?"
He cleared his voice. "Just don't be alarmed when you hear it, it's Kieran Mitchell," then my eyes widened and my heart pumped crimson blood. My anger flared as I stood up.
"You fucken killed Emilio, you murderer," he stood up and towered over me. He was an inch taller than me. His eyes softened. His eyes were full of guilt.
The room went quiet as one of the guards came over with a baton in his hand. "Everything good over here?"
I glanced at Kieran, his eyes softened and that told me everything. I closed my eyes as my hands shook from the anger that flared up. "We are good, just a misunderstanding," the guard nodded and glared at Kieran.
We both sat down and we're silent for a while. I tapped my finger on the table. "You never told me what's your name?" He asked.
"I thought you said you watched the press conference," I glanced at his damn handsome face. His eyes were full of guilt now.
"I know I fucked up. I took my mom's death harder than Dash. It's doesn't excuse me for taking Emilio's life. I'm sorry. I wish I could turn back...," his mouth stopped as his eyes watched his hands tremble. His eyes widened with fear as he held his throat.
"You ok, man?" I saw his eyes of terror. I stood up as he fell to the side. He passed out as I yelled for the guard. What the hell just happened?
I sat on a chair inside a cold ass room. Kieran was still passed out. The nurse told me he had a panic attack. And why exactly am I here? Not sure, I guess I'm not a messed-up person. I wanted to see how he was. There was a knock on the door. "Come in," Bradley peeked his face inside.
"Hey we have to go, we are just waiting on you?" I nodded and stood up. I studied Kieran's handsome features again. I want to hate him for taking my best friend away but something about his gaze pulled me in. I took a deep breath.
I closed the door to the room. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and turned it on. The screen flashed with my dad's name. "Fuck," I said lowly and swiped the screen. My life was different now, little did I know Kieran would change it.